
二十年前——379Please respect copyright.PENANAn7ygrzBPfD
379Please respect copyright.PENANAo4oOoJTjD3
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。379Please respect copyright.PENANAMzNHLycNQJ
379Please respect copyright.PENANA5CZurCVB8a
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。379Please respect copyright.PENANABtnnt8GlY4
379Please respect copyright.PENANAkrga1xqud9
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。379Please respect copyright.PENANASPSuhcf9aT
379Please respect copyright.PENANAoBCtFU4oAy
小荷不在。379Please respect copyright.PENANAWIIxMj0WPi
379Please respect copyright.PENANAwnwY5zPdf4
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。379Please respect copyright.PENANANZHHAKcfBO
379Please respect copyright.PENANAqLLIqyExZ5
無發現。379Please respect copyright.PENANAbDJobmHgw6
379Please respect copyright.PENANAl2xx9VhYrV
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」379Please respect copyright.PENANA2SGFg7RRgx
379Please respect copyright.PENANABEd9jDrYss
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。379Please respect copyright.PENANA1ONA52xCAs
379Please respect copyright.PENANAS6ok6jKman
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。379Please respect copyright.PENANABSOrDjVbXy
379Please respect copyright.PENANAviJtY3Bw0v
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……379Please respect copyright.PENANARwm173Gepu
379Please respect copyright.PENANAcuhER3lHry
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。379Please respect copyright.PENANABgMpnM1GLg
379Please respect copyright.PENANAlCdqChtU8t
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。379Please respect copyright.PENANA1Xz0xBz4sU
379Please respect copyright.PENANA4nm2nDnQ16
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。379Please respect copyright.PENANAVYlvTa6tlD
379Please respect copyright.PENANAtIGpbGQrZy
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?379Please respect copyright.PENANApBLglOV40B
379Please respect copyright.PENANAalKl9D3RlD
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAT8WHw91H1g
379Please respect copyright.PENANApZKoa3kpGa
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。379Please respect copyright.PENANAcGej0pVMtZ
379Please respect copyright.PENANA0pkeYTtmKG
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?379Please respect copyright.PENANAfR6xll8r0Y
379Please respect copyright.PENANAVCYSPAlMcz
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。379Please respect copyright.PENANAd3jxE5hrW4
379Please respect copyright.PENANAZDqtxhWsWQ
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAtCCckCnDyx
379Please respect copyright.PENANAlANxJk4O7b
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。379Please respect copyright.PENANAkKAE3EIXCM
379Please respect copyright.PENANAbTcQBqyR9b
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……379Please respect copyright.PENANAnEtX6QIKEu
379Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2lyqIytmn
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。379Please respect copyright.PENANAr1DEm8CdrY
379Please respect copyright.PENANADSMS4IjND2
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。379Please respect copyright.PENANAcndZbZoSks
379Please respect copyright.PENANA1lHwRym3LE
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。379Please respect copyright.PENANAmlaku6GVtQ
379Please respect copyright.PENANAvJg4XwAPVj
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAFlqAQnjWux
379Please respect copyright.PENANAJgkj1iD40Z
「愛。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAh3LkeJSFm0
379Please respect copyright.PENANAlefV4DigNk
「你愛爸爸嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAr5Sf1haCp6
379Please respect copyright.PENANAsa6Or1PShG
「愛。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAmKSJDVqOLI
379Please respect copyright.PENANAyJp9DVnjDB
「你愛哥哥嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAgO5HGhKs6t
379Please respect copyright.PENANA8V8SoyrZ6Q
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?379Please respect copyright.PENANAloLaKZLg0E
379Please respect copyright.PENANAnS8Kx6nEOa
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。379Please respect copyright.PENANAUQihm4inbh
379Please respect copyright.PENANAfet37InXEM
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。379Please respect copyright.PENANAnEbZi6APBM
379Please respect copyright.PENANAFDOZjeF0Rt
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。379Please respect copyright.PENANAlVk8yHx1EI
379Please respect copyright.PENANAO8WxqCPuad
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。379Please respect copyright.PENANAYo1RhDeONK
379Please respect copyright.PENANAIfq0P0Cmvr
「小荷是無辜的!」379Please respect copyright.PENANA9uugUYUNex
379Please respect copyright.PENANA5MlMzMapxV
「但我捨不得你啊!」379Please respect copyright.PENANADRozI9412m
379Please respect copyright.PENANAQhtYLnWt3p
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。379Please respect copyright.PENANA6lAgYUKvGQ
379Please respect copyright.PENANA1GCrsxUn8x
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。379Please respect copyright.PENANAQ0ATquAx6Q
379Please respect copyright.PENANAPZJe2co6Lm
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。379Please respect copyright.PENANA2K5xyyBjYR
379Please respect copyright.PENANA9GWz0ixpyo
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。379Please respect copyright.PENANApoPaBynAXN
379Please respect copyright.PENANArYaJYogRby
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。379Please respect copyright.PENANAgol1gffOGu
379Please respect copyright.PENANAg7IpTTdeCn
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。379Please respect copyright.PENANAr4WTGzki7U
379Please respect copyright.PENANA7RBeKVDiFA
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。379Please respect copyright.PENANAdj7k9NBfhv
379Please respect copyright.PENANAGBXZl9o21C
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。379Please respect copyright.PENANAsHXvNvXkQ1
379Please respect copyright.PENANA1oKtudYOD2
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。379Please respect copyright.PENANAavHR6N6jcv
379Please respect copyright.PENANACA1bn35RDK
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。379Please respect copyright.PENANAe98WgQIysc
379Please respect copyright.PENANARSdYVK7aTR
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?379Please respect copyright.PENANAh0RRQkudXz
379Please respect copyright.PENANAqSJt0TJZiu
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAgo5PM1V9q6
379Please respect copyright.PENANAPTBDhEuZ32
「我沒有阻止你。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAxJ5P00iyGz
379Please respect copyright.PENANA74RnfcYPqq
「阻止得了麼?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAcYov9uT3iy
379Please respect copyright.PENANA8QKIOhiLbS
「至少,我該要嘗試。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAwel6kxIjnp
379Please respect copyright.PENANA8vNFiuCgDN
「嘗試有用麼?」379Please respect copyright.PENANA0UtDbEsIE7
379Please respect copyright.PENANA9Q66IqR0Cv
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。379Please respect copyright.PENANAFo5tgo5zq2
379Please respect copyright.PENANAZzTVLVw2ad
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。379Please respect copyright.PENANAPZ19gDssTC
379Please respect copyright.PENANAdcLyqkfySh
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。379Please respect copyright.PENANA1HAwdAU3SN
379Please respect copyright.PENANAKmgFtuGXrj
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。379Please respect copyright.PENANA91lpRDegCb
379Please respect copyright.PENANAv6lXhvUBDS
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」379Please respect copyright.PENANATxGmoWEGIg
379Please respect copyright.PENANAVl2KH1dcVr
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。379Please respect copyright.PENANANYjQCYQFk9
379Please respect copyright.PENANATizQfCVEyv
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。379Please respect copyright.PENANAEEHzcGGGxw
379Please respect copyright.PENANAFiGfTdpigO
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。379Please respect copyright.PENANASnQ6yRjZfx
379Please respect copyright.PENANAR43X7uxufE
阿夏不解。379Please respect copyright.PENANAmTZMcuTJ51
379Please respect copyright.PENANA2HfwxJCNle
「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」379Please respect copyright.PENANANwpAP0wa5u
379Please respect copyright.PENANAn4aUZ6MgV3
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAYlDGVHUDK3
379Please respect copyright.PENANAhzx25THBRv
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。379Please respect copyright.PENANAUG3brpp6XJ
379Please respect copyright.PENANAVu48YyCMeu
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。379Please respect copyright.PENANAY38ZYcRktG
379Please respect copyright.PENANAKBJhowdohS
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。379Please respect copyright.PENANAwIqknBvMgK
379Please respect copyright.PENANAstz9lFeBL2
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAmZbXTAWSyJ
379Please respect copyright.PENANA9UXVT3Uu7S
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」379Please respect copyright.PENANADL1Ft6H3sV
379Please respect copyright.PENANAgPt8VyuSTT
「我明白了。」379Please respect copyright.PENANArhV7wuOwHR
379Please respect copyright.PENANArrB1dQlNsz
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。379Please respect copyright.PENANAvEbQma1Cem
379Please respect copyright.PENANAyehkR2vKIW
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。379Please respect copyright.PENANAtIHcTSBsds
379Please respect copyright.PENANAdJB4FiGIpb
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。379Please respect copyright.PENANAHJo6FsjZfU
379Please respect copyright.PENANAwLikHJLY6O
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?379Please respect copyright.PENANA7ExNWvyVCO
379Please respect copyright.PENANAkQOwCYxkNF
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。379Please respect copyright.PENANAzDVBlTrcXu
379Please respect copyright.PENANADPjDBLhYuz
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」379Please respect copyright.PENANADvH6t3OSbw
379Please respect copyright.PENANA6YVj3lUr8h
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。379Please respect copyright.PENANAabXQ1vTU3Q
379Please respect copyright.PENANAs7fe7iyIfR
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?379Please respect copyright.PENANAjSjYwBcNKY
379Please respect copyright.PENANAVyjm65I0Qx
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAaEQObRmh4p
379Please respect copyright.PENANATQpcr3q3DX
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAhrkdavWZ6g
379Please respect copyright.PENANAwb7W8r3JXB
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAbsykVEZUAS
379Please respect copyright.PENANAbV92wq19bV
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」379Please respect copyright.PENANATyk83iR67C
379Please respect copyright.PENANArQtgzfIZsm
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。379Please respect copyright.PENANAezu9i6zEZx
379Please respect copyright.PENANAqPtRnnNXnF
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。379Please respect copyright.PENANAKIuomt7z2Z
379Please respect copyright.PENANAncYSiHLT6t
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。379Please respect copyright.PENANAozCsmTyzP8
379Please respect copyright.PENANAFeyKA1BX1q
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。379Please respect copyright.PENANATVL6gMdkYz
379Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0mrHZc6XF
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。379Please respect copyright.PENANADyFozGdXet
379Please respect copyright.PENANAoZAebsdDnp
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。379Please respect copyright.PENANAmglnFADxDn
379Please respect copyright.PENANABLbFpm6Gmr
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。379Please respect copyright.PENANAsXh1DPgOFm
379Please respect copyright.PENANAjUzVWgND1V
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAcFdgivTmOf
379Please respect copyright.PENANAKkvwIhylX8
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」379Please respect copyright.PENANAAwHm6y4ZJh
379Please respect copyright.PENANA8cryL22FEk
「想。我愛你。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAMNzqM3Imz2
379Please respect copyright.PENANAqUxTAFoBxm
「那就繼續吧。」379Please respect copyright.PENANAD470V5Ci8y
379Please respect copyright.PENANAnABn2w4s3c
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。379Please respect copyright.PENANABSfj5IoWdG
379Please respect copyright.PENANAd021Y0UzA4
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。379Please respect copyright.PENANAeaSMySKJc3
379Please respect copyright.PENANAuEjnEq7efX
「謝謝你……小荷……」379Please respect copyright.PENANA05O9mROur3
379Please respect copyright.PENANACTPnCYbdbm
「不用客氣……」379Please respect copyright.PENANANwUSmHIca1
379Please respect copyright.PENANA6PTXGXZVxI
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。379Please respect copyright.PENANAiH7YISVe5m