So Much For My Happy Ending

“Kochana Felix, let’s talk this over.” It was an opening of a letter, written by a young man with shoulder length brown hair and shivering slender fingers.

It had been 6 six years since they last met each other.

It was a gloomy snowy day. As if it was yesterday to Toris.

Felix was lying on the snow with his military suit. And Ivan was trying to grab Toris away from him.

Toris had forgotten what was he shouting about, but he does remember Felix’s last word.

“Your face is so hilarious I wish you can see it now hahaha!”

Why were you still smiling at me? Even in such a time?

Didn’t you care about me?

Was it something I did?

“It’s not like we’re dead, “ Toris kept writing his letter. “We never die.”

“Why can’t you just show up please?”

I wish you know where am I now.

Skies were blue.

Moist land. Breathless air.

“A city so dead.“ 

 “I don’t know anyone here, maybe Miss Natasha is nice but, “ He paused and bit his lower lip with his teeth. “We have been together for so many years.”

Remember those past days we used to control that bit piece of earth?

You are everything I know.

Or “I thought I knew”.

But who cares? 

“I’m so lonely now…”

“Felix, I thought we could be…” Tears started bursting out, Toris had to put down his pen and cover his face so that the letter would not be ruined again.

You were everything I wanted. 

Remember those past days we sat on thrones along side?

I actually do not care about it ever. EVER!

We were supposed to be together forever but we lost each other! 

Why didn’t you stand out that day?!

WHY COULDN’T I STAND OUT THAT DAY?!?!

He suddenly grabbed back his pen and started writing again.

“That mustache man and Ivan made me to recite the thing they called POEMS everyday.”

“I am like a zombie here.”

I must keep writing.

I must keep crying.

So that I feel painful.

So that those happy memories won’t fade away…

“You thought I don’t know how your tricks are like?” Toris was holding his pen so tightly that its ink spitted a bit when writing. 

“No more hide and seek please!!” “

“Why are you still pretending you disappeared?”

“Big brother, “ Said a beautiful young lady with dark blue maiden dress. “Toris is writing to Felix again.”

“Uh, so?” asked Ivan, sitting on his desk, just finished his daily phone report. “What would you like to report to me about my lovely comrade Toris? Natasha?”

“I think there’s something wrong with his, ugh, brain, you know.” Said Natasha, pointing her head with her pale boney finger. “I wonder if he can be used…I’m definitely not challenging you my dear brother! I’m just afraid he might fail you…”

“Well, that’s fine anyways.” Ivan crossed his fingers and leaned on his chair. “Is that everything for today? I’m quite busy you know.”

“I’m sorry no, brother.” Natasha bowed and was leaving Ivan’s room.

“It is raining now, maybe you should stay here tonight.” Said Ivan, ”You know how it feels in a rainy and snowy night.”

“I am so glad hearing that, big brother.” Natasha made a step forward and held her hands liked praying. “Is it ok if we sleep on the same bed tonight? Just like we did when we were young?”

“Of course nope.” Ivan smiled, “We are not young anymore and…” he paused “I will make you the bed tonight, may you please prepare me dinner as an exchange?”

“It’s my pleasure dear big brother.” and Natasha rushed to the kitchen downstairs immediately.

“Hope she won’t put any date rape into the meal.” thought Ivan, started regretting. 

Toris was tired after crying for so long time. His eyes were misty and his lips were dried up.

Toris seemed to be too tired to notice the pretty blonde man with emerald eyes standing, or should I say, “floating” behind him. Watching him.

“It’s nice to know that you are here now.” He whispered to Toris who was half waken and didn’t hear.

“At least you live.” He wanted to step forward to Toris but stood still.

“Hey Toris, “ said that man. “They said you’re dumbed as you keep writing to me.”

“Maybe it’s right. It’s time for you to start a new life.”

“I still treasure every moment we had before. “ He grinned. “Wheat we planted, fishes we caught. Me causing you trouble.” 

“It was not just a bit piece of earth we once had. Time spending with you means the whole world to me.” 

He lowered his head and made a step forward.

“You were everything that I wanted, you probably don’t know.”

“It’s not going to be me, this Felix staying with you anymore. But I’m sure you two will meet someday.”

“He knows our past and he’ll be sure he’s the Felix of all time.”

“Maybe someday, you two will…reunite.”

“I promise he’ll care you a lot. More than I and every Felix did.”

“Sorry that I lost you.”

“Thanks for making me feel like I’m your only one.” His fingers failed to touch Toris’ soft hair.

He turned his head and looked at the window. The rain was slowing down.

“But let’s talk this over.” He looked at Toris’ back again with a really serious face.

“I’m dead already.”

A thunder cracked in and lit up the whole town. Toris suddenly awoke and looked at his desk.

He wondered why there was a letter torn apart.