《我喺街執咗個失憶嘅女仔返屋企》 - 阿妹番外篇（三）

之後嘅幾日，我都會喺小悠送入嚟嘅藥裏面發現一粒糖。

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係我同阿哥細個最鍾意食嘅牌子。

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第一日係紅豆沙味、第二日係腌制梅子味、第三日係山葵味。

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「…做埋啲多餘嘢。」無論係之前個生日蛋糕，抑或係眼前嘅糖。

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我一粒都冇食過，由啲糖放喺度。

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咯咯——敲門嘅係阿哥，我間房冇閂門，所以佢行咗入嚟：「今晚我試吓煮啲意粉你食？」

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經過幾日休息同夾硬將藥吞下，我身體狀況已經好咗好多，所以點點頭：「嗯，我睇吓食唔食到。」

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「呢幾日辛苦晒你…」哥講完摸咗我個頭兩吓。

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過咗一陣之後，我話：

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「我地要認真諗吓，禁止小悠再下廚，至少要確保佢煮出嚟嘅野係合乎常理。」

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哥苦笑：「…佢將佢嘅創意運用咗喺唔適當嘅地方上面，雖然嗰個繽紛樂腐皮卷，我個人認為幾好食嘅。」

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聽到嗰個惡魔名詞，我又準備嘔：「…盡量唔好喺我面前提起呢道菜…。」

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「…對唔住！」哥慌忙咁講，然後隨手拎盒紙巾俾我。

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我接過紙巾之後，發覺佢視線落喺被我放埋一邊嘅糖果上面。

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「呢隻咪細個成日食嗰隻糖？好懷念！」

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「…嗯。」

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「我仲以為已經冇出架喇，你喺邊度搵架？」阿哥好驚喜咁拎起咗一粒。

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我輕輕搖頭：「我唔知，唔係我買。」

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「記得細個嗰陣我地咪有個糖罐，每次買呢隻糖就會全部倒晒入去，再睇吓抽到咩味！」

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佢講緊嘅係喺相入面我地好開心咁拎住嗰個。

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果然，佢好快發現咗嗰幅我放喺床邊嘅相：「就係呢個喇！我記得個罐應該未掉…放咗喺邊呢？」

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每次講起細個嘅事，阿哥都會好開心。

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「都過咗咁耐，或者其實一早掉咗，只係我地唔記得。同埋，啲糖我唔食架喇，如果你想食就攞埋去啦。」

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佢聽到之後，個樣好似有啲失落：「都啱嘅…我地都咁Q大個。」

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其實頭先嘅回答，比起覺得幼稚，更多嘅係出於自責。

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點解只係食一粒糖咁簡單嘅事，我都做唔到…。

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阿哥想同我分享嘅嗰份心情，我永遠都感受唔到。

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夜晚，我趁所有人瞓晒之後，摸黑走咗出廳。

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「我記得…應該係放咗喺呢個位。」我打開電視下面最底嘅櫃桶，搵咗一陣之後終於搵到嗰樣嘢——

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我同阿哥細個嗰陣嘅糖果罐。

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我用濕紙巾清潔咗罐身，然後打開蓋——

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隨年月壓縮喺裏面嘅回憶變成一陣殘留嘅糖果味飄散出來。

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我將糖果罐徹底洗乾淨，然後將小悠俾我嘅糖放晒入去。

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就好似細個同阿哥嗰陣一樣。

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只不過，當佢每次分糖俾我，再同我講邊隻係最新出嘅口味、邊隻係最好食，我都唔係真正明白。因為每次食呢隻糖，我食到嘅只係嗰陣令我恐懼嘅藥水味。

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強顏歡笑，然後用力點頭，每次都係一樣。哥見到我話好食佢就會開心。

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我隨手喺罐度攞起一粒糖。

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阿哥細個嗰陣最鍾意食嘅糖，到底係咩味道。

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我猶疑咗一陣，然後將粒糖放入嘴裏。

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「…咳！」兩秒唔夠，強烈嘅不適感迫使我將粒糖吐返出嚟。

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果然…都係唔得。

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刺眼嘅燈光突然亮起，伴隨一把我絕對唔想喺呢個時候聽到嘅聲音：「阿妹？」

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係小悠。

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「你喺度做咩呀？」

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我唔答佢，只係用最快速度將吐出嚟嘅糖用紙巾包好，然後掉入垃圾桶。

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返到入房，先記得糖罐仲未執好。

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「…我究竟喺度做乜嘢。」我攤坐喺房門後，將臉埋進膝蓋中，就咁過咗一晚。

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