Some random life stories or just things I overhear 2022 edition - Holidays week two

"That's Lego Land."

Me: explaining that I'm going to have Jack over

Sibling: "No."

"Why is talking to people so scary."

Lina "Your gay."

Me "YOUR GAYER!"

Lina "Nah bro I'm the straight one at the moment."

Father "Remember when you ate my twinkie? I had to pay so much for those and you...just ate the last one (my name) you made me rethink having children and made me so sad."

Me "Just buy more."

Father "I CAN'T THEY WERE SO EXPENSIVE!"

He had a full thing about this. This incident happened 2 months ago

"Fix your face."

"That's not the chemist it's bunnings."

"Park on a car."

"BE OLD!"

Sibling *turns on radio*

Everyone in the car "YEAHHHH!"

"Why is she playing Dinsy hits?"

" you just like it for the shirtless men you dirty doggo."

Freind "Look there's a woman."

Mw "Wow you like shirtless women...you perverted girl...I didn't know you were that much of a perv."

"get it john!"

"Why did they put a confused old guy in the ad? Oh...wait...he's a celebrity."

"It's windy windy."

"ITS Clenching MY BUTT!"

"I used to jerk off it off...I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BOTTLE!"

"What do I know?'

'nothing."

"just a stupid bitch trying to drink her way through life

"Told you they were gonna fuck."

"Don't fall for the burger."

"Can I have some bread with my...bread?"

"No more couches."

"Oh it's an air table."

"It's like lego...with screws...it even has extra shit that confuses you!"

"First step...open box...now how do I do that?"

"Okay so these are the pieces...fuck they don't have label."

'Welp I'm screwd...heh I made a pun."

I was playing with screws while doing this.

"THERE ARE WHEELS?"

"HECK YEAH FINISHED SHELF!"

"Waitttt...there were subtitles?"

Me "I just woke up."

Aunt"Okay cool."

Me " No, not cool I missed breakfast."

Aunt " Well breakfast can be anything really titles are a human construct."

Me "But...we had breadddddd."

It wasn't normal bread either it was the good stuff from breadtop...I'm never staying up till three am again

"Get your human done."

"It's a Neopolitan bag."

"Why are you buying a coffee machine?"

"Heh the shoes are 69 bucks."

"Just burn them all at the stake."

Me *offers lollies to my father*

Step mom "Are you trying to kill him?"

"I'm a crystal hoarder!"

"FLIMSY POOP!"

Emily "I'm sending you to hell now...chigago...no even worse...OHIO!"

"Harry pooper...heh."

ns3.135.236.62da2

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