字舞 - 幾片黃

秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eV2nAFWi2
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCX8vQjMSz4
「完好？」現在的她問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm3ZBmYZgr
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0EONnGpWH
「無缺？」曾經的他問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SkYGlmiB9
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS86jIiqnw
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04ifLQ5c6F
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWP5cbitbd
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAouR2NrD3l
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm855GiQpDH
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVmyvL8x00
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5bhD78O5P
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOI3Z0p5dl
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ794ZEhl3fA
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwloUPu0AIM
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpioDTpjsac
「醫生，早晨。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbUlMxC1YT
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSdy5h0ill
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9stlLOF1Bq
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kGzJI5mTO
「好……不過……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMQqlWISk5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pKgRIQ8Ce
「不過甚麼？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlAxZvwR66
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUpTn6ZrM3
「我想再做手術。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzZlWUR78c
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOcIspu7Wc
「為甚麼？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ0MA89YVR
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJWlYVGWWU
「不適應現在的生活。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GwMpst5Ed
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2bcIgH89n
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWeLFCyAOJ
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5ABEpM2aE
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRHQjuiRki
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3fJnRN0L3
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5lAhOBXIA
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXUWiGAx3s
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXK6L0etRMY
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmgwInXzkl
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpu9CYayaN
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltxZhpeXrG
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatakEkcW05
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTfCV8YPjT
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8EFyv0X79
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsXQXZsl0u
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd3BzmROlO
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOoiL3YW8K
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZcOVrPp6f
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlAJDASu9k
「謝謝你。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AmAb3dFwF
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH8wD9qF98
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqLcHVyzNv
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQe54QRJHYH
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU5syRgyTc
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jWuLMhR1i
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs99chHhKUL
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrstwbYkI8G
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLG0PYlCZW
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Q7Jclr4Fb
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ii9JklVaP
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tnQ6X73CW
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5xejLl6nB
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMZ65aex4Q
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X7mTqt9df
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUyL1HFRtv
那個原因名為「希望」。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZSBH5gsYf
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOpFBmOqXD
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyF7Zg2XIwH
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmIe2YLm2v
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CotqHMfsz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOLX89IP4K
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iMI3ylWaj
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQGE5p0hax
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》

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