字舞 - 幾片黃

秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdexSfFAlMN
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGye725ios
「完好？」現在的她問。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3sRNm1fvt
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayTQFB7Ubf
「無缺？」曾經的他問。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYutqJC3WgA
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKqfmhQniM
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5nqee9xk7
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxMRvenRDa
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1Osa939gd
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYGM4ODiat
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEBWEppISq
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNjW0Mq86n
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClqZ5zi1li
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPIrEw1Oa8
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVfQW9G0Vi
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSq4Bis9EO
「醫生，早晨。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LGjXzGOn7
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaLGsPAThr
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUKRB2q9Ns
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnCdB2hfaY
「好……不過……」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHV9N7agQI
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDmQlup5SH
「不過甚麼？」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1ipBQLIfp
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRpGRpaOFm
「我想再做手術。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oZKL6BfBC
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbddZIVEz1
「為甚麼？」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakcNZM2G6Y
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODAmywqoBK
「不適應現在的生活。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak6epCL2d5
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSwSACNX4o
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjUQ439PUH
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uyjjsPkpA
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4J4zf4lsbw
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeCiTW2R0t
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xzQ6xL1zM
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVAFvVUytz
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ39JLPKM8c
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSpFt7YBdf
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW7QZooa23
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQPTVZG1sK
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaDOvwSmA3
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhLS5Wn1ym
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQXhwLucva
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8jkNc0WwS
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAuwDXOZSf
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHMrHgKdv9
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy9Pf1EnoS
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ668WdeRSak
「謝謝你。」233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDq9IXnsES
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Z5Svjvz5z
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTeQhsRVvm
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EtVtDe7R5
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5nAjnaTD4
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoqRyWEEIZ
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQOaniTncI
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqw3ww1pJC
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkxFYKvxgT
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM1Oc2DdS1
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAYL6ZE9w8
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxMPyhqmUu
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9FPLwD4WB
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSvaplAx1i
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQwhSXtZO0
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKVwyoEEQh
那個原因名為「希望」。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuhWf1Gjqh
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvMdTKdqyN
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDrWFJ29Rh
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsq5aazftv
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPebQX93Q0
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8FSQtu9qA
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1SttyuFwj
233Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9li0sIz51T
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》

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