字舞 - 幾片黃

秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFQaLgTVMf
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq13GpJmPk
「完好？」現在的她問。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlScLiOMtqQ
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtVmTAs4Oq
「無缺？」曾經的他問。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0KMQkfnZ5
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ508VZtKF8r
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwyqYSNfsu
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yYuL8igXd
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRXqyObqpc
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhWwODAHzW
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaojuh8jqX
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuN2M8x1x5
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxQO771EkX
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt3830ZnUC
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPK60xkM62
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH79wcsr3EF
「醫生，早晨。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhUPYxrVMz
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMoVi9NyYH
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0twFwtwFVO
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XNy9xrbnx
「好……不過……」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1DtUbUnKo
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSrGJU94iv
「不過甚麼？」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6WYKIKbhP
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaI20zoej8Y
「我想再做手術。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqLAkSTesp
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgroMAaRm2
「為甚麼？」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGErM2kYYg5
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xpGPN4Wlg
「不適應現在的生活。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAIZwdODlc
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBEXg1xY9b
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWBQLQDlJ0
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6b80PGeRG
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPTuRvYqoz
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4xiYUZ5gF
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSJCJ3ym6P
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4XYgWdpUI
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdoWYUa8zG
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNPGPWI41f
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgUrFed20V
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mA0I6blIZ
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow1wWdTz1Y
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4TsRHlNxz
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj91k91Skr9
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IF8V4nXai
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIFWksWHDG
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6zhcu8KDH
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0KKsdysWF
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke9jLCcRNt
「謝謝你。」179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZUFZyeIvQ
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMprhhcEPX
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuX2ACmQ6G
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OtmNu8Gx8
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl8RK6aLXD
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGACr7udzT
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlvf7zJr7m
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXHiSSmhy9
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13hxESDK2F
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxGYkiNarL
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofU9YYboKl
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mZibUNY8I
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRmc6oAz7b
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqltp37CVn
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3GXJ8OkED
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsV3vBHLanP
那個原因名為「希望」。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiaejEfDEn
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Kp3vuLjLF
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDVUMx176Q
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmpOCc7V44
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xD7atk4yk
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKHilSuQWJ
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxLLTQiEr5
179Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20TeGka8Tp
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》

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