字舞 - 幾片黃

秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttbz5cMDKZ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV9pjkmpPa
「完好？」現在的她問。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLwOdjCtYt
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlGsW8sw8F
「無缺？」曾經的他問。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnrtMFnfLU
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vAMGQLlXK
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYObczsIo9A
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzquLv4ANLH
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYwvq8oIE8
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomKeGPGHjP
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVFZhLPzhZ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1iAR7WyvX
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgjlIvyyq5
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxBphEGJPH
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGppNOtMLn8
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjKzN0yp9I
「醫生，早晨。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxImbfLb5xQ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhp44K3Yev
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv7SmUDr49
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xRT42yES3
「好……不過……」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnenQwHb8PY
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuCrCCRRCN
「不過甚麼？」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjsKsn07X6
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoMxZtHfSu
「我想再做手術。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGISiZdvOw
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsilhNHBaK
「為甚麼？」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvJrDphL0x
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1hOFmGGE5
「不適應現在的生活。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFktzKQq4pZ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx5iq9gR3S
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSdfgIMkQm
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZePpdSuxuI
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwP0NI9lzO
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZiMezkviA
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlW2hpuvNs1
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFO1qS1oFW
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdSEABOFPp
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNVGEa9EPi
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvA5eMcdO9
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmPFdMmayW
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJsafawUSQ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7MjImKpE1
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbuu169fW0
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPS9gqHI3B
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeTPrHFvMd
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5k6hGhGBn
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkToVaPOI5
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5QH0sXavV
「謝謝你。」341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyMyJrnyaT
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHaWZRQsca
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VFoyjMSIA
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRkII0EkIh
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggFwphkmfJ
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjNbwTLbBr
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdTu8zCZcC
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6kptyrZhX
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMEUNpbqjl
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eMgiZcxup
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43E5gJc7hw
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V1pdCri4c
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiUii6HRIX
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpFpgP9ARj
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpIkWDxkVD
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YwBBrGQ9e
那個原因名為「希望」。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4StcYf06VO
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeFKfrACkb
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnchofejmR
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDesUcZngu
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6tHhJnSYI
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjRth2BK4S
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvITkhzD9u
341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEK1s1d4MB
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。

註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》

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