This morning Ethan had planned for us to go camping for a few days, he said I needed to get out more, he said it would make me happier. And if not happy, then healthier. I doubt it, but here’s to trying.
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“Now,” Amanda was sitting across from us at the dining room island. “I know you two will be gone for a while, but when you do come back into town, you need to call me. Okay?”
“Okay.” We both replied, in unison.
“Alright, I rented a car and bought some camping stuff for you guys. I’m still going to need my car while you guys are gone, but you can’t get to the area of the campsite on foot, so.”
He thanked Amanda before looking over at me. “You ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I replied.
“Alright, let’s go.” He grabbed my hand, leading me outside.
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In front of the porch was an old Ford truck. It was a bench cab so it only seats three. It was painted a dark silver, and the truck bed had a cover on it. I assumed all of the camping supplies were in there but I decided to double check. 101Please respect copyright.PENANAKvVy0E3tq9
There was one tent, I was assuming a large one, a couple drawstring bags with supplies inside, sleeping bags, and pillows.
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“You ready?” Ethan asked from the driver’s seat.
“Yeah, I was just making sure that everything’s here.”
“Alright, well let’s get this show on the road.” He smiled, that perfect smile. The one I wanted to get over...
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**(Chapter Break)
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The campsite was about a half an hour walk from the parking lot. The walk was worth it though because the site was gorgeous. It was surrounded by trees that perfectly filtered the sunlight through their branches, the breeze was perfect, and the temperature was perfect as well. It felt nice to finally be outside, he was right. God dammit, he was right...
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“So?” Ethan blurted, snapping me out of my thoughts. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful.” I smiled.
He smiled back, “It’s so wonderful to see you smiling again.”
I brushed the compliment off, I don’t wanna fall for him again. “We should start setting stuff up before it gets too late.”
“Yeah, alright.” He replied.
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Ethan was setting up the campfire so I was left with setting up the tent, which I didn’t mind doing. It was smaller than I’d expected, it will still fit the two of us, we’d just have to be lying next to each other. I wasn’t looking forward to four nights of this...
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“Alright, the tent’s set up.”
“Thanks Nicci.” He smiled.
“Again with the smiling...” I sighed.
“What?” He asked.
‘Shit... Did I say that out loud?-’
“Nothing, sorry.” I went inside the tent, not saying another word to Ethan for the rest of the afternoon.
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We had made hot dogs on the fire for dinner, which tasted amazing, along with some freeze-dried apples and bananas that Amanda had bought from the supermarket.
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“Walk with me.” Ethan stood up, holding his hand out.
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Hesitantly, I took his hand in mine, setting my freeze-dried fruit aside. We walked into the brush of the forest. I tried to let go of his hand, but he didn’t want to let go of mine. I wanted to run, I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to tell him that I just wanted to get over him and the way I feel. I don’t want to hurt over him anymore... But like our hands, he’s not letting go...
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“Are you alright?” Ethan asked.
“Why?”
“You’ve been distant since yesterday, what’s wrong?”
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I can’t take it anymore. I have to let it out, I won’t get a chance like this again.
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“Honestly?” I asked.
“Honestly.”
I sighed. “You’re what’s wrong with me.”
He scoffed, finally letting go of my hand. “You can’t be serious right now.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Why? What have I done to make me the source of your problems?” He threw his hands above his head in exasperation. “I mean, just yesterday you were confessing your love for me, now I’m the source of your discontent. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?!”
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The little prick- how could he be so god damn insensitive?! Does he even understand me at all?! Of course not... God, I’m such a fool...
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“Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?!” I scoffed, trying to stop myself from crying. “I mean, do you have even the slightest clue how insensitive you’re being right now?! I was such a fool to think someone like you could be good for me!” 101Please respect copyright.PENANAbKJPWoq3OM
“I never said I was good for you. I’m not the one confessing love for someone I just met, Nicole!” He scoffed. “Besides, I apologized-” 101Please respect copyright.PENANA0GOiwxoNM1
“That doesn’t take away the regret, the embarrassment, the fact that I just want to get over my feelings and you!” Tears were starting to form in my eyes. 101Please respect copyright.PENANAdibiQJFcXA
“Then fucking do it!” He yelled.
“I can’t!” I sobbed, storming off into the tent, tears streaming down my face. I was a mess...
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Ethan stayed outside, I could hear him occasionally mumbling things to himself but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I spent the next few hours alone, trying to wrap my head around what had just occurred. 101Please respect copyright.PENANAzUPF3qJ93I
I don’t understand... Why is he being like this? He was acting so clueless, apologizing to me one day, blaming me the next?! Who the fuck does he think he is?! Does he want this? Does he want to see me cry? Did he like that he was hurting me?! Is this really what he wants?! I’m such a goddamn fool...
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**(Chapter Break)
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I found Ethan sleeping on the ground near the campfire, so I left him there to sleep. I really wanted to kick him awake. I could care less if he got any sleep. I didn’t sleep much because of him. 101Please respect copyright.PENANAMYMAQ8aKWq
I decided to take a walk by myself this time, I don’t want a repeat of yesterday. At this point, I just wanted to go home. I wasn’t happy here, I wasn’t happy with Ethan. He makes me angry, sad, and sick to my stomach. At one point he made me happy, the thought of spending every second with him made me happy, but now... Now I’m not sure what I feel with him. All I know is that I can’t stand to be near him. It makes my heart race, and not in a good way.
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“Nicci?” I turned around, and there he was.
“What.”
“Come on, don’t be like that. We’re supposed to be having a good time.”
I scoffed. “Well, you kinda fucked that up.”
“We both had a part in it.”
“No! You deliberately asked me to walk with you, just to blame my whole ‘being distant’ on me. You’re the reason I’ve been distant. You hurt me Ethan. You fucking shattered me. I have NEVER felt so weak.” The tears started flowing again, and I think he finally realized what he’d done. He couldn’t stop watching my eyes. 101Please respect copyright.PENANAQnlq204l3U
“How was I supposed to know? You never told me.”
“Pay closer attention, anyone else would have noticed.” I tried walking away, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me closer. He snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me to him until our faces were but inches apart.
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He put his mouth to my ear, his breath sent chills down my spine as it hit my neck. “I fell for you the moment I saw you Nicole.” Without wasting any more time, he crushed his lips against mine. He was moving his hands all over my body, our breath was careless and warm. He tasted like mint, and his lips were soft. He bit my bottom lip and I pulled back.
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“What’s wrong?” He asked, surprised by my reaction.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” I replied, out of breath.
“Why not?”
“What if it leads to something else? And besides, I thought you didn’t like me.”
“Like you? Who said like?”
“What are you-”
“Nicci, I fucking love you.”
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Love.
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It echoed through my head, my ears were ringing, my heart was pounding, I was trembling.
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Love.
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It’s all crashing down on me, I can’t breathe.
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Love.
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Why is he doing this to me?!
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Love.
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“I-” I sighed, there were tears in my eyes. For the first time in my life nothing felt heavy, I could breathe, I felt... free. “I love you too.101Please respect copyright.PENANA33s0dNb9DJ