[粵語][搞笑][長篇] Re:從偷情開始的圍封世界生活 - 第二十六回 - 派飯仔

「你冷靜啲先。」我好似侏羅紀世界個主角咁，用手掌控制住隻速龍，唔係，係控制住個派飯仔。

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「我好冷靜，我派飯咋，你地搞乜呀？」派飯仔大大聲叫，反應極大。

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「我淨係想問你有冇得拎保護衣啫。」我一小步一小步，慢慢行前。

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「我派飯㗎咋，你信我啦。」派飯仔開始語無倫次。

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「咁我點先拎到保護衣？」我再行近多少少。

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「打電話去hotline問佢地攞。我真係派飯㗎。」派飯仔單手掩臉，極為苦惱。

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「hotline冇人聽㗎，打爆個電話都冇用。」我同佢漸行漸近，「你話我知點去搵人啦？」

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「我唔知呀，我真係派飯咋，我今日新嚟咋，我唔知派飯要答咁多問題㗎。」派飯仔突然崩潰，踎咗响地下大喊。

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見佢失晒控，我入廚房拎把菜刀出嚟。

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「除晒啲衫去。」我用菜刀指住派飯仔。

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「你癲咗呀？」春蓮走過嚟拉開我。

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「佢走投無路喇，最多我都係死啫。」我輪迴咗咁多次，情緒都接近崩潰。

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我空揮幾吓菜刀，「仲唔快啲除，休怪我刀下無情。」

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派飯仔楚楚可憐咁，將保護衣除出嚟，然後再除褲。

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「喂，喂，喂，夠喇，我要保護衣咋，你又唔係黃子華。」我執起啲保護衣，放低把菜刀。

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然後搵咗條繩挷實佢，再拖佢入衣櫃。

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「你做乜呀？搞到咁大件事。」春蓮慌失失咁騰嚟騰去。

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「我一定要逃走出去，妳今晚就可以放佢走，叫佢唔好亂講嘢。」我邊講邊著保護衣。

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「我放開佢之後，佢殺咗我咁點算呀？」春蓮仲係好擔心。

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「佢咁蛇（音：gwe），邊度敢丫，妳嚇吓佢，話會同佢媽咪講畀人搶走保護衣，佢就驚㗎喇。」我將頭套、口罩戴上。

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我走到鏡前照一照，戴埋護目鏡，成個人包實到晒，乜人都認唔到我啦。

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「妳小心啲喇，三日後，薩爾達就返嚟陪妳，唔使驚一個人悶。」我同春蓮嚟一個臨別的擁抱。

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「薩爾達會返嚟？」春蓮一面黑人問號。

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我轉身就行出門。

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Photo Credit: 喜劇之王 - 周星馳413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTp0opu4I0

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參考資料：

Jurassic World - Blue - Immortal legend413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnnhPPCccM

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喜劇之王 - 外賣仔

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炎語冰作品包括：

緊急連載中：廁所小說413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MjNjs997M
世界上第一部為了大家不要浪費如廁時間而設的小說。413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXG1zFYcm3

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長篇小說：《三元特工隊》第一季之聲波陰謀413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9bJb7Uoe7
由不同平行宇宙的特工所組成的最強特工隊，是拯救世界的唯一關鍵。

FB: 三十日試煉413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruNAU5Dr9O
IG: 三十日試煉

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