[粵語][搞笑][長篇] Re:從偷情開始的圍封世界生活 - 第七回 - 怒之薩爾達

「弊啦，薩爾達返緊嚟，你快啲走呀。」春蓮執晒我啲嘢推我出去。

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「咪住，畀我坐低諗一陣先，出面冇地方避呀。」我要諗吓點做好。

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「點都走咗先啦，畀薩爾達發現就死緊喇。」春蓮死命咁推我出去。

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咁我唯有出去後樓梯坐，食住煙慢慢諗。

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諗咗一陣聽到有𨋢聲。

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「蓮蓮，我返嚟喇，我地快啲入去。」薩爾達咁大聲，唔怕隔離鄰舍聲到㗎喎。

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隔咗無耐，我就諗到好大獲，薩爾達咁咸濕，佢咁怕新冠肺炎都返嚟，梗係為咗同春蓮搞嘢，𠵱家春蓮腫晒……

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「啪～啪～～」

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然後我聽到啪啪聲好大聲，但唔係佢地搞嘢聲，係打人聲。

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「點解會腫到咁，呢幾日同邊個搞過？」薩爾達好大聲咁鬧。

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我企起身踱步，到底我去唔去救春蓮好呢，救，就畀人發現搞人妻，唔救，就唔係男人。

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但係聲音好快就靜咗落嚟，然後有開門聲。

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梅艷芳首歌亦即刻响我腦入面響起。

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「危～險～經已在前面。」

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我即刻轉身走落樓。

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點知我落咗一級，薩爾達就已經嚟到樓梯口。

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「封樓個個留响屋企，你又咁生面口一個人响度，仲唔係你搞我老婆。」薩爾達怒氣衝天。

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「捉捉，我想食糖糖。」我立刻詐傻扮懵，成個人縮埋一舊，好似馮淬帆搽咗收縮水咁嘅姿勢，希望呃到佢。

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「食屎啦你。」薩爾達打出一拳，正正打中塊面。

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我成個人碌咗落樓梯，個頭撞落樓梯度撞到我boom boom boom ，後腦最後撞埋牆邊，條頸斷咗，痛到我bang bang bang，然後身體陰陰涼涼咁，痛楚亦好快咁消失，跟住就聽到一句好熟嘅說話。

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「仆街喇，逸葵樓畀人圍封強檢呀。」

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Photo Credit: 精裝追女仔馮淬帆

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參考片段：馮淬帆收縮水640Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZeoUzQRJN

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作品：三元特工隊

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