Nothing but The Best
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Author’s Note: extremely long chapter ahead! Hope your feelings are protected cause this is gonna hurt (Anybody said Angst Fest 2021? No?)
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VII.
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5 am. The alarm goes off, you stretch on the bed and get up before you have the chance to convince yourself to sleep in for 5 more minutes. You put on a pair of leggings, a T-shirt, and a light hoodie before heading out for your morning run around Central Park.
You have your own daily route, where you hit your favorite spots as you workout. Bow Bridge, Bethesda Fountain, and your last stop at Mai’s café where you buy a large iced green tea every morning before going back home. You walk back at a relaxed pace, now that your main workout was completed you had a few extra hours before rehearsal.
You got the part! You couldn’t believe it! You worked so hard! It was like a dream come true… you made it! And yet your happiness wasn’t complete. Your parents would have been proud of you if they were there to see you.
A small part of you still wished Satoru was there to see it too, to share this moment of victory with you. Shaking your head you force yourself to think about something else. That would never happen. Satoru wasn’t a part of your life anymore. And you had to get used to it.
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You were so distracted, lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice a certain tall silhouette following you closely.
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After reading your whole file last night Gojo made sure to memorize your address and phone number. He knew your routine back home so he was certain you would be up and running by the asscrack of dawn. Damn love! And you said he was the one with the crackhead energy.
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Wearing a pair of dark grey jeans, his dark round sunglasses, and a black hoodie which he used to hide the emblematic platinum locks he waited outside of your apartment, across the street… behind a tree. (Not a stalker, nope, not at all… at least that's what he kept telling himself). Any resemblance with that ‘You’ Netflix show is purely coincidental (or so he wanted to think). This was perfectly normal behavior for a concerned and loving husband whose wife decided to abandon…
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At exactly 5:16 am you were out and on your way for your morning run. He had been imagining this moment for so long that he wasn’t quite ready when he saw you “there you are beautiful…” whispered with an idiotic grin pulling at the corners of his lips. Gorgeous as ever.
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He followed you without being noticed. His heart beating faster as he saw you so close for the first time in… 6 months 18 days and 5 hours. He didn’t have to keep track of the time away from you. Not anymore! You were here! Right in front of him…
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He could just steal you away, wrap you in his strong arms and warp back to his hotel room where the would take his sweet time to make love to you, worship (and mark) every inch of your body, make you come until you gave into him, forgave him for his trespasses and made sure you never attempted to leave him again… (Hope Springs eternal)
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But he knew you wouldn’t want that. He knew it would take more than him dicking you into submission to forgive him this time. Not that he was opposed to the idea at all… I mean, don’t get him wrong! He is a man, after all, a man with very pressing needs. Satoru had been craving all of you desperately for so long he was starting to resemble a brainless monkey, beating his meat 5 times a day to the pictures and videos he had of you on his phone. He had never gone without sex for so long since he became sexually active but he couldn’t even think about fucking anyone else other than his wife.
He craved you and only you. No one else could soothe this need.
This was also ultimately a form of self-imposed punishment for what he had done to you. He wondered if you would be proud of him?
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Satoru had to win you back, and as good as he was at rearranging your guts and making you lose your mind as you came around his cock, it wouldn’t be enough this time.
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He knew you too well…
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It's just that before, in his selfishness he never wanted to admit that you were strong enough to put him in his place even if that meant hurting yourself in the process.
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“Ugh…” Was this how all people felt when they were in love? A suffocating need to be with that one person? Why did it take him to actually lose you to realize his life was empty without you in it? Why was he so stupid and reckless?
Why… the… fuck?… indeed.
Now, as you walk back to your apartment at a slower pace he sighed thinking about all those little details he discovered he actually knew and missed about you. Like how you would always make sure there was freshly made food for him whenever he came back home from a mission or how you went out of your way to procure his favorite candy was restocked permanently. How you immediately ran into his arms to kiss him deeply as soon as he crossed the door.
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He missed the smell of his sheets laced with roses and honey, a smell so sweet and so… you. He craved the warmth of your body at night, his bed felt too big and empty without you in it to keep him company, to hold… to love.
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Satoru had to win you back, there was no other option. He could not live without you. He refused to live a life where you didn’t exist. His life without you was not a life at all!
Having you and losing you was like showing someone the sun and then telling them they were to live in darkness for the rest of their lives!
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*His phone went off*
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It was a text from Nanamin with coordinates to find and exorcise a Special Grade curse in NYC. Groaning, he knew he would have to take care of his responsibilities (which he had neglected a lot in order to gather information about you). He would do that quickly before he continued his devoted watching over you (stalking).
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Most children don’t know what they want to do when they grow up. You remembered watching ballet shows with your mom as a child… They made it look so beautiful, so… effortless; as if their bodies floated around the stage. You wanted that.
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And here you are, several years of hard work later, now you were one of those soft, elastic, and effortless bodies, gliding gracefully on a stage.
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Sweat dripped from your temple by the time your rehearsal was finished. Your directress Madame Bonnevie was proud of your work, with a few observations and adjustments your group was dismissed for the day.
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Looking at your phone you realized it was 6 pm. You have been dancing for about 8 hours with minimal breaks. But the pain and the ache on your strained muscles only made you feel accomplished. Like you could conquer the world.
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Right here, right now… on this stage… the world disappeared… you weren’t Y/N Goj… ehem! L/N, you were Ekaterina Petrova, prima ballerina of this year’s selection of elite dancers who would perform at the annual MET Rendition of “Le Lac des Cygnes” (The Swan Lake).
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You went back home with a satisfied yet tired smile on your face. When you were up on that stage you were able to forget… you healed your soul between the duality of being Odette and Odile (the white and the dark swan) it resembled your life a little… The demanding technical mastery and emotional range morph from vulnerable and pure Odette to audacious and deceptive Odile. Reminded you of your transformation over the past 6 months.
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Where you had gone from a broken cheated wife to an independent (maybe a little deceptive) elite dancer who relayed on no one but herself for her happiness.
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After a shower and a light dinner consisting of baked salmon and asparagus, you decided the night was too beautiful to waste.
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Now, this was your favorite part about your apartment, you were on the second from the top story, which meant you had full and private access to the rooftop terrace that looked over the city.
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You dressed warmly but lightly enough so you could move around. Grabbing your speaker and phone you went up there. Setting them on the corner you started your playlist on aleatory.
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The first song that came on was ‘Kissing you by Des’ree’
You stopped from a moment listening to the piano melody you recognized immediately. It reminded you of the night you met Satoru. Without realizing it, you started moving to the mellow notes, dancing, bending your body to match every note. Closing your eyes you allowed yourself to be guided by the music and the emotions it fired within you.
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Once more, completely unaware of your audience.
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That pesky special grade had taken him longer than expected, but it was finally taken care of. Satoru went back to his hotel to change clothes, grab a shower and eat a quick dinner from the restaurant on site before he went to see you. Warping to the building next to yours he watched as you moved around your living room and then disappeared only to show up on the rooftop.
Setting up your music you started dancing.
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That song… he remembered it. How could he ever forget it? The night he met you was the night his life changed forevermore. He watched speechless as you moved and he understood then that you were dancing your feelings away. He could see the pain, the strain, the effort… the heartbreaking beauty behind it all… When was the last time he watched you dance? Usually too busy with his work and his double life back home he didn’t attend your shows anymore.
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He regretted it…
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Warping closer he stood on the corner of the rooftop where you danced, still ignorant of his presence. Your beautiful eyes closed, hidden from his.
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Satoru removed his sunglasses, he wanted to see all of you and commit to memory every detail of yourself.
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Gojo understood then that what he did had no forgiveness. How could he have hurt you so much? Was he blind or stupid not to notice what he did to you and how much it tore you apart? What good were his six eyes when he had been so blind to the pain he put you through?
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His legs moved before his brain could catch up on it. The next thing he knew, he was standing before your still form, the song ended, your eyes still closed. The smell of roses and honey welcomed him once more, his heart stopped. Home… you were home.
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When you opened your eyes you almost screamed but your voice had abandoned you. Satoru stood before you with sorrowful eyes, looking at you with a mix of longing, sadness, regret… and... Lo… “No!” It was barely a whisper. Taking a step back, the white-haired sorcerer mimicked you, unable to let you put any distance between your bodies.
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{If misery loves company… oh get the hell out of my house!
Won’t you please just look at me?
Oh why’d you let me under your blouse?}
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Your traitorous heart was beating so far, it was deafening in your ears.
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“No…” you repeated a little more firmly
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“Y/N…” his voice came out soft and hesitant.
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“NO!” You cut him before he could say anything else and make your heart feel for him. You didn’t want to feel anything for him.
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He stopped and unlike his usual self, Satoru decided to shut up. He wanted to beg you to listen to him, to let him explain and make it up to you.
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{The things we wish to perceive aren’t always what we want to believe, and now I must confess these are the thoughts that I possess}
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What was he doing here? Why wasn’t he with his baby and his girlfriend?/Wife?. What was he trying to prove? That you could not escape him?!
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Blinding rage made you tremble.
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“Is this what I am to you?… A game? Am I really something to prove?” Scoffing, you wiped the tears that already started falling “Why am I not surprised?” you said sarcastically” Let me guess! The great Gojo Satoru cannot be dumped for being a piece of shit? By a meager, lowly, non-sorcerer commoner?” Holding an ice-cold glare you looked straight into his luminescent eyes “Who the fuck do you think you are?” You asked in a low and deadly calm tone making Satoru’s blood freeze in his veins. Shaking his head he tried to touch you but you moved back this time putting distance between the both of you. He stopped, he didn’t want to anger you any further nor make you move further away. You felt like a lion in a cage, ready to pounce if provoked.
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{Can you believe the outcome? Now I’m asking you: god how come?}
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‘How did we get here?’Was all Satoru could wonder. Your heart was broken… He had done it single-handedly. It was his fault his wife was behaving his way. It was all on him like Geto said. It was hard for him to admit that what he was getting from Y/N was what he had given to her. Rejection, pain, heartbreak. He wanted to take it all away and make it better but it seemed his presence only exacerbated her distress.
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{You always change… right behind my back… when we’re face to face, I’m always the one who cracks…}
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“I love you…” whispered Satoru softly feeling the corners of his eyes itching while he fought away the tears. Seeing you so hurt, so damaged because of him was not something he was ready for. Because those long past almost 7 months he never had the chance to see you explode nor break down; he never saw the dark resentment in your eyes directed to him.
It seemed so long ago since you were gone, without a confrontation. And now that he was in front of you he realized how stupid and grossly unprepared he had been to face you.
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You scoffed again and dismissed his love declaration “Liar… you only love yourself Satoru, you are not here for me! You are here for yourself! Because of your endless need to control everything! To always have the upper hand! But I refuse to be played like a pawn in your cruel game”
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{You can crucify me with blame but only if you share in the pain, admit it was all a cruel game and leave me on an open flame.}
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