起來的時候,我朦朦朧朧中聽到客廳有一些嘈雜的爭吵聲音。我獨個兒在床上,打個呵欠、伸個懶腰,聆聽房間外面的對話。145Please respect copyright.PENANABXItVd2GnI
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「佢真係好慘㗎,琴晚孤伶伶喺條街度。」從說話的內容以及聲線,可以分出這個是敏清。145Please respect copyright.PENANA1AZRao9Ysj
145Please respect copyright.PENANAXZPipkhMDk
「街邊好多阿叔無家可歸好慘㗎啦,你唔接埋入嚟住?」相當臭四的聲音,應該是敏清的家姐澄澄。非常港女的性格,小時候我過來玩的時候亦經常捉弄我,當時已經沒有很喜歡她。終究也是女神的家姐,到底為什麼相同的血緣以及家庭教育,性格可以差天共地?145Please respect copyright.PENANA6iUw9PfKeg
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「根本都唔同,同埋我琴晚見到佢,如果我朝早出去見到佢已經凍死左,我真係成世都過意唔去。」清說。145Please respect copyright.PENANAGtTlE12W33
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「你過意唔去關唔關我事呀,屋企仲唔夠多人咩?」澄還擊。145Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZXIeKhazD
145Please respect copyright.PENANAQkQypjOW39
「好多人呀,朝朝早起身沖涼都唔夠時間,咁你同姐夫咪搬出去囉~」一把輕佻的男生聲音說,應該是敏清的弟弟阿靖。145Please respect copyright.PENANARahj9oKhlf
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「而家你兩個家姐鬧交關唔關你事呀?」澄問。145Please respect copyright.PENANAVNUXkMLJG6
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澄、清、靖,英文名都是同樣的拼音方法。我以前有時懷疑女神的父母應該是兩登的師兄。145Please respect copyright.PENANAwzvYiCYxNs
「一人少句啦。今日聖誕節係咪要搞到家嘈屋閉啊?」敏清爸爸突然大喝一聲。這樣的收場很有TVB溏心風暴的風采。當然,看TVB是不對的,做人不應該看,做貓更不應該。145Please respect copyright.PENANAoR64G8hQZD
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我靜悄悄的推開房門。想用貓步輕力的步出屋外之際,突然被人捉着我背部的皮。145Please respect copyright.PENANAva4NHgUapZ
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「你又話係貓女嚟嘅?」還在讀高中的弟弟阿靖捉着我,然後仔細地看着我的下體。145Please respect copyright.PENANAoirNPpzqxk
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「放手啦基佬,我下面唔係俾你睇㗎,得你家姐可以望㗎咋。」我嘗試用貓爪抓他,可是手腳仍然不協調的我,完全冇還擊之力。145Please respect copyright.PENANAqJLRuQbb2u
145Please respect copyright.PENANA9KnZEe8QKH
「你睇吓,有啫啫喎。」他用手上的iPhone 朝着我的下身拍照。145Please respect copyright.PENANAQdhN4dcUhB
145Please respect copyright.PENANAj87oQbKciH
「講還講唔好影相呀喂!我唔想俾人放上去全香港最大嘅同性戀討論區!」我大叫,當然沒有人聽懂。145Please respect copyright.PENANAIeFTN2RZu5
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「邊有呀?」敏清把頭湊過去看着電話中的相片說。145Please respect copyright.PENANA0WyPJA7KpA
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「嗱,試吓放大啦,有一點㗎,見唔見到呀,仔嚟㗎喎。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5jFdxUBNW
145Please respect copyright.PENANAgoh3ZMj5D5
「又好似係喎。好的骰啊!」這真是欺凌事件的二次傷害,女神居然助紂為虐。「月月,原來你係男仔黎!對唔住呀,琴晚太黑我睇唔清楚。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAujkZxiHvc6
145Please respect copyright.PENANAyDMTaDZy8g
「你連仔定女都分唔清楚,仲話養人哋。」澄好像撿到死貓一樣追擊。「仲有你唔係住宿舍咩?你唔喺度照顧佢咪即係阿爸阿媽養。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAinqF1B9VvE
145Please respect copyright.PENANAdBz2RxOoi3
「你煩夠未姐?」女神生氣地說。「我出去買嘢俾阿月。仲有,我最多咪搬返嚟住。到時你唔好話沖涼冇位。」說罷便走到家外面。145Please respect copyright.PENANAdRhQIEulY4
145Please respect copyright.PENANAg93IGa9YPv
我對於他們對洗手間這個論點的執着有點意外,倒是想真的,我家以前三個人已經有爭廁所的問題,他們有六個人(現在還多了一隻貓),只有一個洗手間,每天早上真的少不免家嘈屋閉。145Please respect copyright.PENANA5Cij0VUQDc
對了… 我突然想起我的家人。糟糕了。他們對於我消失了應該會非常吃驚吧…畢竟我幾乎之前20多年的平安夜都留在家中,我得想辦法去看看他們。145Please respect copyright.PENANAItnq9gWGe2
145Please respect copyright.PENANAbfjFn87opO
我趁大家的注意力不在我身上,偷偷的溜到屋外面,向就在對面的自己家走過去。145Please respect copyright.PENANAF8D2IDHbBT
145Please respect copyright.PENANAgj6hRtySOk
「娘親同老竇應該都係屋企…」我自言自語,想着偷進家中的方法。145Please respect copyright.PENANAENPPUJ1TBN
145Please respect copyright.PENANAddfASEb3GP
我環繞自家的那幢平房繞了一圈,發現父母都在客廳,不知是否我的心理作用,他們看起來有點焦急的打着電話。145Please respect copyright.PENANAwo07c3WdRE
145Please respect copyright.PENANAQhRqVQNXjD
無法從正門突破,幸好我的房間窗開了,我笨拙的從窗邊跳進去。村屋的保安程度還真是低之有低,倒是會有膽偷竊的應該都是住在附近的人,我想應該沒有人沒事沒幹想要進村入面挑戰拿着木棍和藤條的白衣人。145Please respect copyright.PENANAfoxthB1F3m
我偷偷的從房間聽着他們的對話。145Please respect copyright.PENANAz4uu9BKtzt
145Please respect copyright.PENANAsgMRK9BURA
「爸爸啊爸爸,買咗六合彩未啊你,掛住賭馬!」145Please respect copyright.PENANAAlNiVlaENo
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「多事啦你,自己買自己呀。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAJP6kVoPFzv
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「上期六合彩冇人中,今日耶穌生日,旺我地呀!」娘親一貫地嘮叨。145Please respect copyright.PENANAPiu5ZKHnO9
145Please respect copyright.PENANA2qkc1qD3Xg
「耶穌生日關你鬼事咩!」父親嫌棄地反問。145Please respect copyright.PENANA531YqXOcrP
145Please respect copyright.PENANAOzl41rmZwN
「你唔記得咗阿仔以前中學讀基督教學校喇?旺啊!阿日爸爸,你幾時先識得對個仔上心啲啊。」娘親生氣地說。145Please respect copyright.PENANAHGaVyHmIHF
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…突然有點覺得變成貓也是一件好事。145Please respect copyright.PENANASjowwdidDX
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我爸大概不會在意,但我媽無論如何再過一兩天應該也會報警了,我可不想警察來我家,而且亦不會有用。現在除了貓神,大概沒有人可以把我的軀殼找回來。145Please respect copyright.PENANAUf8iw1f9g1
145Please respect copyright.PENANAitxez3gSew
我悄悄的從床罅中尋找我的電話,我睡覺之前有看電話的習慣,醒來的時候大多都會在床罅。145Please respect copyright.PENANAFYKR1jkkXI
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果然!我用肉球一探,是我的iPhone。我用盡九牛二虎之力,用貓爪把iPhone弄出來。145Please respect copyright.PENANAWtdbqmuzxm
145Please respect copyright.PENANAvN6JNJGNfw
「發明床罅嗰條友同發明返工一樣咁邪惡…」我喃喃自語。145Please respect copyright.PENANAiCAFpEJ4wu
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我把電話轉向自己的這邊,手機牢牢的鎖上。可惡的face ID,平時的靈敏度已經很低,變成貓的我當然不可能解開。145Please respect copyright.PENANAkc9Lda3aeg
我嘗試用肉球輸入我的密碼,我電話的密碼是敏青的生日日期,0117。當然不可以用自己的生日日期,除了因為所有人都可以猜到之外,當然也是因為不可以暴露自己是毒撚的身份。145Please respect copyright.PENANAxIo935m8Rx
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可是除了0字以外…用這個笨拙的肉球,要準確按到其他數字好像是不可能…145Please respect copyright.PENANAg0xrn6uf0I
145Please respect copyright.PENANA8k7zXzxMAV
0111…145Please respect copyright.PENANAvPEWfz1AjU
0517…145Please respect copyright.PENANAX0pmquHTW1
…0157…145Please respect copyright.PENANANhcLpBmZf1
…145Please respect copyright.PENANABbyiMwMVGY
…145Please respect copyright.PENANAecjpyqps1z
iPhone is disabled145Please respect copyright.PENANAEEE10eYBGX
try again in 1 minute145Please respect copyright.PENANAkjh2GbsoxA
…145Please respect copyright.PENANA3WIOHxJgGn
…145Please respect copyright.PENANAK3klpdwSgX
iPhone is disabled145Please respect copyright.PENANAUWUAIMsrgo
try again in 3 minute145Please respect copyright.PENANAKOg0kOKUHc
…145Please respect copyright.PENANAkXUhuF7jch
..145Please respect copyright.PENANAj5a9Re2sUl
.145Please respect copyright.PENANAJZ14jETRq0
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「啊!!!我dis你老母呀Tim Cook!!」我忍不住大聲呼叫。145Please respect copyright.PENANAvjWHlzcNXV
145Please respect copyright.PENANA5JscEFES1k
貓神,如果我可以再見到你,我第二個願望是把你、Tim Cook、喬布斯(56歲,復活)還有設計這個disable程式的工程師叫出來讓我抓到頭破血流,第三個願望才是變回人類。145Please respect copyright.PENANAx71KGHNkhp
145Please respect copyright.PENANAZGzD66VuUl
「阿日爸爸,聽唔聽到聲啊?係咪日仔返咗嚟?」娘親在客廳高呼。145Please respect copyright.PENANAWtO7hpuJGi
145Please respect copyright.PENANA5LlwPME6dd
「你唔好咁笨柒啦,阿日返咗嚟唔係正門入嚟,唔通爬窗啊?」父親說。我倒認為笨柒的是他。145Please respect copyright.PENANAhYL6PUZzgP
145Please respect copyright.PENANAXdfwFwbJgS
「我都係去睇吓先。」唏,母親大人,這次是我生平第一次希望你乖乖聽父親話,平常你都是照他的說話做的,為什麼這次要例外呢?145Please respect copyright.PENANAbHn3wNAiTN
我連忙用口咬著disabled的iPhone,跳出窗外,然後往昨天逃往的那條小巷走去。145Please respect copyright.PENANAowAMyB2zhv
145Please respect copyright.PENANADeXoRaTSdU
對不起啊娘親,我應該還要一點時間才可以回來,再見了,我的家人。145Please respect copyright.PENANAmXbmjVl7s9
145Please respect copyright.PENANALYhDPtEeZJ
我在小巷裏頭喘着氣,看着那部解鎖不了的iPhone,因為害怕失敗而不想再嘗試了。本來以為這句說話只能夠應用在追女孩子上面,現在連解鎖電話都可以形容…145Please respect copyright.PENANA0v1btQ5gP9
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「你喺度做咩啊,黑貓仔?你自己一個喺度住?之前冇見過你嘅。」突然一把溫柔的女聲問我,不是敏青的聲音。145Please respect copyright.PENANAL7PeMIeJZo
145Please respect copyright.PENANAXwy5JZYJz7
我抬頭只見一隻橙色毛佔多的三色貓貓女,高高瘦瘦似的,比起昨天在停車場見的街貓都來得高貴以及乾淨。眼睛不算大,樣子卻非常可愛,聲線帶點柔弱。145Please respect copyright.PENANAxnYcbMbPz2
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「喂喂,同你講嘢啊,做咩呆咗望住我㗎?」她問。145Please respect copyright.PENANAVWsJDWKmd0
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「你好,我叫阿日。啊,唔係,我叫阿月,我琴日對貓神許願,所以先會變成黑貓。本來係阿日,而家係阿月。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAINXXP2o5Y0
145Please respect copyright.PENANABU1XxesI9N
我的自我介紹聽起來挺合理和通順的,還有幾分冷酷的味道,看來我令女生害羞的技能,即使變成貓之後亦存在。145Please respect copyright.PENANAjfwCTpRR8H
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「咁所以你叫咩名?」貓女一臉疑惑。145Please respect copyright.PENANA9CtC6xZErm
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「阿月。」算了,我也是時候習慣這個新名字。145Please respect copyright.PENANAz0gMM6jmWs
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「月,你啲行為舉止完全唔似貓。」貓女說。145Please respect copyright.PENANATqa4OUMAge
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「咁我的確唔係貓…至少前日都仲未係。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAiPDLolP4iE
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「你好奇怪,不過我曾經都聽過類似嘅嘢,我諗有隻貓可以幫到你。」貓女說。145Please respect copyright.PENANA2OLalY4ppx
145Please respect copyright.PENANAlq2CYE93xP
「月,我叫橙,好高興認識你!」145Please respect copyright.PENANAqEn2PNDw4v
「橙…Nice to meet you. 話時話,你都係街貓?」145Please respect copyright.PENANAS1FVDL1zir
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「唔完全係,我喺附近住,係放養貓仔。我本來係住喺垃圾房附近,不過我主人帶咗我返屋企,但係又怕我唔習慣留喺屋企入面,所以會開窗俾我走出嚟。」145Please respect copyright.PENANA6X0s6Erb9g
145Please respect copyright.PENANA7OLWgaNLXV
叫做橙的貓女說,她走路的姿態很美,我跟在她的屁股後邊覺得目不暇給。145Please respect copyright.PENANAfUQdYjKVks
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「所有貓都可以放養㗎?」145Please respect copyright.PENANAFbShxj54fT
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「唔係。除非係有靈性㗎啦,同埋隻貓要自己鍾意返屋企。所以我唔會建議太多奴才放養主子。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAPwuhl2XbPS
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「點為之有靈性?」我問。145Please respect copyright.PENANAl5Km5QcXO1
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「叻啲、聰明啲啦,同埋更加了解人類嘅習慣。人類有分聰明同埋蠢,貓一樣都有。有靈性、冇靈性,同你哋人類嘅定義應該差唔多。」橙回頭跟我說。145Please respect copyright.PENANAXdj7BPUmyg
145Please respect copyright.PENANAWUIJZoV9Vv
「好複雜嘅概念…」我想,如果貓像人類都有分聰明以及蠢鈍,無論我是人類還是貓,都應該是聰明而且有靈性的那一批。145Please respect copyright.PENANAk31QqEsAqo
對了,為甚麼橙會知道我是人,而且好像對這個概念見慣不怪?145Please respect copyright.PENANAGUhK6FsMZf
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「例如我唔知你有冇見過停車場嗰班貓,佢哋大概就係屬於冇靈性果一批。」橙續說。145Please respect copyright.PENANAXVdRus2JEp
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「有啊有啊,佢哋琴日圍我。我一個人單拖打佢哋十幾隻,互有攻守,最後佢哋好多都受咗傷。」145Please respect copyright.PENANARiRSjdBTTg
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明明我是人,不知道為什麼,在女生面前,即使是貓女,也想要吹噓一番,展現自己雄性的魅力。145Please respect copyright.PENANAqoWL60Mtie
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「係呢,請問聲… 你依家帶我去邊呢?」我好奇地問。145Please respect copyright.PENANADrSFyIyEGe
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「咪就係停車場囉。」橙沒音調的回答。145Please respect copyright.PENANA8GQb7RZDxM
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「下…?」我發現中伏的時候,自己已經身處停車場入面。只怪自己的視野沒有離開過橙性感的屁股。145Please respect copyright.PENANA2kaEcT2v3H
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「就係佢啦,橙姐,琴日就係呢條友過嚟搞搞震,快啲比我地郁鳩佢啦。」是昨天有份圍住我的其中一隻白貓,我認得他灰白色的毛。我有點好奇,為甚麼貓說粗口可以像人一樣順口。145Please respect copyright.PENANA5po9vl318g
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橙沒有理會他,繼續帶我向前行。轉間眼,圍著我們兩個的流浪貓有接近十隻…145Please respect copyright.PENANAnxklNDEJvu
「喂,橙,唔好咁串喎,我同你講嘢呀!」白貓從後面跑到我們兩個的面前,白貓臉上佈滿抓痕,應該是打架的痕跡。就這樣看起來,他應該也不甚好打。145Please respect copyright.PENANAb3byzvCxg6
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「嘶~」橙突然像母獅一樣嘶叫一聲,其他本來圍着我們的貓都退後了兩步。145Please respect copyright.PENANA6KIJehh7VC
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「係 - 唔 - 係 - 仲 - 阻 - 住 - 我?」橙瞪大本來很小的眼睛,瞳孔放大,像看到獵物一樣伸出利爪,其他貓再退避三舍。145Please respect copyright.PENANAmjS9FiXYrZ
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「好型啊… 可唔可以教我?」我感嘆,橙回頭看著我,我也有點害怕的吞了一大啖口水。145Please respect copyright.PENANAAvWQGUu7OL
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「行。」橙只說了一字指令,我繼續跟在她的後面走,不敢亂行。145Please respect copyright.PENANATdumS4wZJ8
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「你一個女仔,唔驚俾佢地先姦後殺你咩?」我好奇地問。145Please respect copyright.PENANAoiHwtAqtSM
145Please respect copyright.PENANAk8vLerrDIZ
「唔驚。」她冷冷地說,「而且,貓公既下體係好細,如果女方唔配合,係無辦法進行性行為。」她從非常科學的角度解釋。145Please respect copyright.PENANATQBUIpbSij
145Please respect copyright.PENANAKgE4ZR8OZg
「原來係咁…」我望一望自己的下體,還好,比起做人的時候沒怎麼變小。145Please respect copyright.PENANAUcIIR6giUB
145Please respect copyright.PENANASPRfw9PaEl
好像在經歷貓咪boot camp訓練營,如果幾天後可以出camp就好。145Please respect copyright.PENANAzaUC3CaLeP
145Please respect copyright.PENANAlNGZaqDxoN
「到了。」145Please respect copyright.PENANAABdiBCiMzx
145Please respect copyright.PENANAucWYFKz6Yw
橙把我領到停車場深處的一個小小帳幕,感覺有點像人類廢棄、讓小孩用的野外營。145Please respect copyright.PENANASM8BNPoxHU
145Please respect copyright.PENANAQpIsVCvmnd
「做咩事?」我問。145Please respect copyright.PENANAkeDfN9yjB9
「你入去就會知。」橙說,說罷便向後回頭離開。145Please respect copyright.PENANAhZ3pVfuZL2
145Please respect copyright.PENANAklfhZEcImk
雖然不知道甚麼在裡面等着我,但我感覺得到,在裡頭的東西,一定與貓神還有這一連串怪事有關係。145Please respect copyright.PENANAFPuPZDTPE1