我經常做光怪陸離的夢。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9KkaHI6Ub
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FqepGPRiG
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡda0SVHDYCF
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKeHIsPF6o
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmQTnA1jHs
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhGVQ2Ahzi
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeaqhvod9P
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ol3y9KeVl
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaOK1Pxl1c
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7hfoTPKJR
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMrTz2zGYf
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6V0Gisdt72
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5IHRxYCHS
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzrSHKIdff
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFavwM50SQl
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSy5eiqa40
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbydoFpqWFX
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhKMSP78zl
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyWhJZ3ZDW
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRqwEfXKGv
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvv7HXGOf19
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLtRVwqLuJ
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznjbDArJMp
對了！364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gv8vR2rPU
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4CkEC0z0a
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39uEaZSF7s
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTXe4MIfwZ
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvMC7k3VQD
阿日是我的名字。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrehkTLRyNP
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBWYVD7qgN
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjpNzd3OYc
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCvFGcjBe3
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOmM5lasnc
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6S27pvp91
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKbez3lhMY
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L4tf8xpHm
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvWB9hczy8
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhPr49GJuL
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIICWoODxe
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrdkrkDpl4
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCctpC3L06a
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNt3W6q9wQ
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHrODEadXg
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoj9kvEWxe
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfDbHNDTMS
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfjYzp4QjY
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2PM4PpTDk
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8oDRciFFC
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyj9Cd5CKT
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXmdljFIUg
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkahVm2L29
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKoyTlB3Jy
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDAT2dohps
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAEQ1QmU56
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixnZQG9E9w
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzAJ3aBG91
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRW3qJGgD0
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYhMgnbpFA
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRC5diV95k
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XYy5siAlq
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqLce7VSil
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8s1h6lGED
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0RmkUczDa
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRngupKKK7T
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvsHN6Etml
「是的。」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8tuwsflIp
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkgoUTjGRZ
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAbQQ09o4K
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuLscpu0jB
「你的願望不能確保。」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02sToYJgCg
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7aRS8dz0Z
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8lOrDwIx9
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDViEJ0n2h
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2x0QkXHQ4R
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQjPKdNz1Y
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp45w7l2j2t
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSu6j8xyLt
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0RpKYsfmI
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujY0aq0yMA
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB40aMuo5mv
「好。最後答案？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgMqrOTtqV
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDambDQOtq
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47N2s9as9V
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN07BAVEaRg
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGJpmglXXp
「原來你識講口語…」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwazMb8d1DU
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZWErPUlrB
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HSmqVPRAz
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XKalMbKzw
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrH7Mjl3fw
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq84pQAU1D
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8TambdVpT
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkbwNssXKt
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fS1k6OXIC
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQIXkQ8lT1
「原來仲有兩個願望？」364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjKPkzd7uz
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk9hL2jegg
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNiu7n99eD
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFXxC2lXp0
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1OJ0j4j0c
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCbrCFgO3d
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1H1PJKlDB
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6znceJGTFM
我在睡夢中醒來。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn9C3AnosP
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0JdLrHU85
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1ZFmAgK96
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmA4sznWMLB
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zQ9mT6bx1
然後按「加至主畫面」