發現自己變成貓是醒來後的五分鐘。353Please respect copyright.PENANAbg0XtHt7s0
353Please respect copyright.PENANAZY2vF125Gv
我從被窩裡頭用力鑽出來後,發現自己開不了房門,房門變得像天一樣高。353Please respect copyright.PENANAkQMd3Fr9bx
353Please respect copyright.PENANAPcthyoYEbn
「搞咩啊…」我抱怨,突然想起剛才的「夢」,「Shit…我唔係變左條蟲掛?」353Please respect copyright.PENANA9VEKJWYy3u
353Please respect copyright.PENANA8nQ2ysfykg
腦內第一時間出現的是卡夫卡《變形記》入面的蟲,然後是自己被家人嫌棄,最後鬱鬱以終的畫面。卡夫卡書內記錄的是主角變成甲蟲的故事,而我現在聯想到的是自己變成精蟲…突然覺得很嘔心的打了一個冷震。353Please respect copyright.PENANAonWgoaXYXF
353Please respect copyright.PENANAzps7u6qMJP
「如果係精蟲應該唔識得打冷震…」我自言自語說。到底為什麼我會知道精蟲不懂得打冷震?353Please respect copyright.PENANAyQnnj0e0wc
353Please respect copyright.PENANAJprjXTthRm
我用力的嘗試跳躍,勉強碰得了門把。我對於自己躍跳的強度感到有點意外:我的身高變得這麼矮小,可以達到的跳躍幅度居然是自己高度的兩三倍。353Please respect copyright.PENANAru17xuDlfA
353Please respect copyright.PENANADVNvjCwNAz
「莫非貓神為咗我可以得到女神嘅歡心,將我變成NBA籃球員?」353Please respect copyright.PENANA2lXFB6ew4S
353Please respect copyright.PENANAfLBeG6tStH
可是籃球是中學生的玩意啊。而且長得這麼小,連門也開不了,跳得高有屁用…353Please respect copyright.PENANATPSkSRrflf
353Please respect copyright.PENANAA2OMuAlWWR
今天可是平安夜啊,我自己一個困在房間裡,怎麼跟女神回家啊,貓神你騙我啊?願望沒有成真呢!353Please respect copyright.PENANAN0qjP9sHCq
對了…我的願望是,聖誕節,跟女神回家,同居,保持我作為男人的特長…353Please respect copyright.PENANAuu83TS6iA6
353Please respect copyright.PENANA5nkfwsUWh0
我稍為望一下自己的下半身,還好JJ還在…353Please respect copyright.PENANAP9vDz2Og0s
353Please respect copyright.PENANAtRdyaeYKZt
…353Please respect copyright.PENANAxGKur55W9x
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「哇屌!點解我全身都係毛!!!」我大叫。353Please respect copyright.PENANAHa2ccMasHs
353Please respect copyright.PENANAg0ynZbvkDK
「仆街!!!啊!!!咩事啊!!!」353Please respect copyright.PENANAkTRDX6ONUw
353Please respect copyright.PENANAEgngEQDgHd
我一邊慘叫,一邊聽到娘親在房門外逐漸走近的腳步聲。353Please respect copyright.PENANABx5i8yY5cN
353Please respect copyright.PENANAmDGOfr3vJO
「仔啊仔,因乜解究有貓喵喵叫啊?」娘親敲門問。353Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZY73YHibJ
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMSuPCgzF1c
「啊!屌,唔好入嚟啊!鎖左門嫁!」聽起來像我在看完AV穿褲子般,然後我想起原來她不進來,我也開不了門。「啊,老母,你都係入嚟啦下!」353Please respect copyright.PENANAkczi9WUo4h
353Please respect copyright.PENANAGijJImCh2w
「我入嚟啦下。仔啊仔,講左幾多次唔准養貓啊,養大你一個都難啦,你養左返嚟又唔好好照顧,最後未又係阿媽養。唉,你唔好話我唔尊重你私隱,我問左幾次先入嚟嫁…」353Please respect copyright.PENANAgufHY1BuAm
353Please respect copyright.PENANAwvPiOSp8rS
話音未落,便聽到扭鎖匙的聲音。我明明把後備的兩條房門匙都丟到街坊去…353Please respect copyright.PENANA6ADl3Du3lo
353Please respect copyright.PENANAtdeGpWzdL9
我用貓一樣的速度鑽回被窩。嗯,對了,我好像真的變成了貓。353Please respect copyright.PENANAafAI6X4gXC
「奇怪…明明聽到貓貓起勢咁叫。講明先啊,阿日你個衰仔,我仲未接受到養貓嫁…你連自己都未照顧好啊,養左隻寵物又一闊三大,你仲未出嚟做嘢,而家大學畢業都搵唔到好工,更何況你讀緊Asso,唔係咁容易啊。」353Please respect copyright.PENANAEchMxE8jmp
353Please respect copyright.PENANAfmSvlSoEIQ
救命…為甚麼變了貓還能聽得到娘親的嘮叨?353Please respect copyright.PENANArLHZYbpcBA
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「…」353Please respect copyright.PENANAsbPTb8G7kL
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嗯?為甚麼突然之間又變得安靜了?353Please respect copyright.PENANA0B2Mm1mvoX
353Please respect copyright.PENANAv0FXHJpBQX
「嘩!!!」娘親突然用力揭開被窩。353Please respect copyright.PENANAGtStYboMzk
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「嘩!!!」我驚叫。353Please respect copyright.PENANAfTr4KUzuIP
353Please respect copyright.PENANABurcovh0Ua
「阿日爸爸,快啲上嚟睇吓,乖仔養左隻黑貓,好得意啊!!!」她高呼,然後伸手想要抱我。353Please respect copyright.PENANA6qIiIRtCKT
353Please respect copyright.PENANACbmvTSXebP
「唔好啊阿媽!」我越過她,狂奔至房外,但家中大門緊鎖,我無處可逃。353Please respect copyright.PENANARqL4MzDvPe
父親在大廳裏看TVB的新聞,像精神分裂一樣碎碎唸。353Please respect copyright.PENANAMkzUxf4Rgh
353Please respect copyright.PENANA9ymlcNeaOs
「唉政府真係冇得救,到而家都仲未開關,搞咗兩年,唉頂,一日都係班死廢青,阿叔後生多20年真係打死晒佢哋。全部都好似房嗰條友咁樣冇得救。」353Please respect copyright.PENANAaQ7phQgYjz
353Please respect copyright.PENANAvV7MUqfZfV
他自言自語,完全沒有理會我媽的呼喚,以及其他我引起的一切騷動。有時真的很佩服他驚人的專注力,感覺除了我和娘親的所有事情,都可以令他非常集中。353Please respect copyright.PENANATYJsgFKo1u
353Please respect copyright.PENANAHE3VcfWtll
「阿日爸爸,快啲幫手呀,日仔隻黑貓周圍走啊,唔知會唔會周圍瀨屎㗎,不過衰仔果然好眼光,帶返嚟隻貓咁得意,如果第時新抱仔都係咁靚女就好啦。」353Please respect copyright.PENANAnYjTR0zDw0
353Please respect copyright.PENANAvopML5C4Rr
媽,承你貴言阿,我變回人馬上找個老婆,最好是敏青,你一定滿意。還有就是,雖然我變成貓,我可不是弱智的,不會胡亂大小二便。353Please respect copyright.PENANAOPIdTf9jhE
353Please respect copyright.PENANASRR2rypvRh
大門的方向不對,我回頭一看,電視櫃旁邊的窗沒有關,我一枝箭的直奔,跳上電視,再跳上窗台。只差一步!353Please respect copyright.PENANAFEtT3AKC6W
對了,忘記介紹,我家是位於元朗小區的一層平房,即使從窗外跳出也不會跌死。以前對於這一點非常討厭,因為蛇蟲鼠蟻好像都可以輕易進來,現在卻覺得非常慶幸。353Please respect copyright.PENANApctKuBFBeM
353Please respect copyright.PENANAdC7bTEqUwg
我順利從窗口跳到屋外,頭也不回的向前直跑,直至轉角再轉頭的那條窄巷小徑。353Please respect copyright.PENANAjSSQuSSlDr
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好了,現在他們應該找我不到。353Please respect copyright.PENANAEdf4B8cxXS
353Please respect copyright.PENANAdmLscdgw8e
救命,告訴我,其實我在發夢對吧。我用右手手掌用力拍一拍自己的臉。353Please respect copyright.PENANAZAXaF4VWG2
353Please respect copyright.PENANAgegXmaxpoP
「屌,好痛。」原來被肉球打是這麼痛的一件事。對了,之前從來也沒有成功摸過肉球一次,連跟貓貓親密接觸的機會也很少。353Please respect copyright.PENANAsyC539wBnr
353Please respect copyright.PENANAISWNncLJRD
我躺在地上,拉長身體,伸手用右手輕輕揉着左手手心的肉球。353Please respect copyright.PENANApPs7RJyFpo
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMQwTJ2IXIn
「啊…好舒服啊。喵…」那種感覺舒服得讓我顫抖震動着。我感嘆。353Please respect copyright.PENANATor9sqoSxI
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完全進入忘我狀態。353Please respect copyright.PENANAsRPX1yT7Ad
「爸爸、爸爸,你睇吓嗰隻貓幾得意,自己摸自己摸到瞌埋眼!好想摸吓佢啊…」一個拖著父親的女孩指着我說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAQP5AV3Bvwq
353Please respect copyright.PENANAo6jHmrYpHV
「唔好摸街貓啊,好污糟㗎,好多蝨。」那個父親一邊玩手機一邊說,根本沒有望過我的這一面。353Please respect copyright.PENANAz8a3hbpk3k
353Please respect copyright.PENANAF1wT2rUOm9
「嗱,指還指,你咪行過嚟!」我大叫。353Please respect copyright.PENANAVBLo8Mlqw2
353Please respect copyright.PENANAtlngHmNykE
「嘩!好惡啊!!」屁孩尖叫,鬆開父親的手,然後跑走。353Please respect copyright.PENANA8WofYVLhRE
353Please respect copyright.PENANAzmyUKL5z2G
自我陶醉的時間被打斷實在太可惡。353Please respect copyright.PENANA2jiXFt4k0d
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算了,讓我先整理一下目前的狀況吧。353Please respect copyright.PENANA00GGQSuPcI
353Please respect copyright.PENANAAHhgYiuM7B
首先,我在非常真實的夢境入面遇見那隻貓神,他用權杖和低沉的聲音念咒語,將我在現實中變成一隻黑貓。353Please respect copyright.PENANAIKna2IHXCV
353Please respect copyright.PENANA4MQasS0C5l
然後,現實的人,包括我的父親母親,好像都聽不懂我說的話,我可以假設我現在說的是貓語。至於我是否擁有和其他貓咪溝通的能力,還有待驗證。353Please respect copyright.PENANAvahMS6i5oj
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最後,我的確還是男生,只是已經不是人類…即使願望能夠達成,也是貓雄無用武之地啊…可惡的貓神!對了,牠說我還有兩個願望。353Please respect copyright.PENANAawKLnw9Blr
353Please respect copyright.PENANACzZYTyB26f
「貓貓貓貓貓貓,幫我變返做人類!」我嘗試念着咒語。353Please respect copyright.PENANAxhtTg76Xo7
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可是好像一點用途都沒有。353Please respect copyright.PENANA7fgjuU2AYt
天啊。353Please respect copyright.PENANAEUBNoPHfyx
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天氣好冷,這天可是平安夜,非但沒有如願以償,還流落街頭,有家歸不得。連陪伴了我20年的左手也變成了肉球。353Please respect copyright.PENANArWzKrqC6ds
353Please respect copyright.PENANAl8ESUcAaRD
我慢步走到家附近的停車場,平常五分鐘的路程,現在好像花了我半小時,手腳還是處於有點不協調的狀態。353Please respect copyright.PENANASpqA6OjmtF
353Please respect copyright.PENANAuBm9gM83L0
我在車場裏搜索,千辛萬苦找到一輛Benz。353Please respect copyright.PENANADG0H10Y8fM
353Please respect copyright.PENANAr8X1OFkPnE
「平時冇錢坐歐洲車,做貓享受下。」353Please respect copyright.PENANAVU4KdR4Xuh
353Please respect copyright.PENANAwgQQ53OCP3
我走到Benz的車底,向上探頭,想找個地方取暖。車子看起來一直停泊在停車場入面,鋪滿塵埃,算是一個比較安全的選擇。353Please respect copyright.PENANAaX4YZDcimc
353Please respect copyright.PENANAtuWL48PGxf
「邊個俾你入嚟?」突然在Benz車底的位置,有三、四對青黃色的眼睛瞪着我。其中一隻用低沉的語氣說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAQZzyrul1uP
353Please respect copyright.PENANAvylKoXRnm4
「吓,我經過咋喎?」我狡辯。不知道為什麼會用狡辯這個詞語,感覺我好像做錯事似的。353Please respect copyright.PENANAdsmurepVQ8
353Please respect copyright.PENANAymndNKlXjW
「呢個停車場淨係比有貢獻嘅貓入嚟,你過主啦。」剛才的聲音變得更低沉。為什麼貓咪都要壓低聲音說話?貓神如是,這些貓也是。353Please respect copyright.PENANAhySDjp43Do
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMTb9RHTMoG
「要點樣貢獻?」我問。353Please respect copyright.PENANAWiByFGXgKw
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMU176b24HW
「幫阿公做嘢都要教,你新嚟㗎?」一隻虎斑貓從車底跳下來,牠是剛才開口的那隻貓。353Please respect copyright.PENANA70aVAV7DWC
353Please respect copyright.PENANAyfyvCQQOHo
「我係真係新嚟嫁…你有見過我咩?」我反問。353Please respect copyright.PENANARjjYdInccZ
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「𡃁仔,你依家係咪咁串呀?」353Please respect copyright.PENANAsVKxwwkhGJ
353Please respect copyright.PENANAblpJUSPAzI
「見你黑媽媽咁樣,知咩事啦?」另一隻白貓亦從Benz的車底跳下。還有幾隻唐貓跟着在其他車底突然出現。353Please respect copyright.PENANAY1z3f6aeSb
353Please respect copyright.PENANA6ycOtY5qMH
「話就話呢度元朗姐大佬,貓都有鄉黑?」我被逼往後退,幾隻社團貓向我步步進迫。353Please respect copyright.PENANAq7nRvRe5v5
353Please respect copyright.PENANALIgqUxsgzU
「啪、啪、啪」突然聽到金屬敲打的聲音。353Please respect copyright.PENANAA6xWLFTrON
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMR9Txdb3cs
「喵!!」所有本來快要把我團團圍住的社團貓突然散開,然後跑向停車場收費亭的那邊。353Please respect copyright.PENANA1XbNwyDtxc
353Please respect copyright.PENANAyFSHVo3Uvq
「你班衰貓又打交,唔好成日搞搞震啦。」停車場管理員大叔一路從收費亭走出來,一路用匙羹敲打手上的幾個罐罐。353Please respect copyright.PENANAfgG1GeZnsY
353Please respect copyright.PENANAopuHy3U8j5
「喵!喵!喵!」群貓圍著大叔和他的罐頭。我則趁機會從另一邊溜走。逃跑的時候,還聞到罐頭的香氣撲鼻。353Please respect copyright.PENANAwIokISZkxU
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是淡淡的吞拿魚清香…嗚嗚,如果可以加入那個貓社團就好。真的好冷好肚餓呀。雖然過程不太順利,總算證實了自己能夠和其他貓貓溝通。353Please respect copyright.PENANAArIo1JlvlY
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我從停車場的不遠處,看到一個紙箱。我本能意識的爬了進去。353Please respect copyright.PENANAtSrR9n7mTz
353Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6r7HzIakH
「呢度好暖好舒服啊…」我陶醉的躺在紙箱內,然後眼前的紙皮逐漸變得模糊起來。353Please respect copyright.PENANANgpppJNisn
我在夢中沒有見到貓神,但就變回了人類,和敏青坦白了自己的愛意,她緊抱著我,然後與我激烈的擁吻著。353Please respect copyright.PENANAP5sjiPj4L9
353Please respect copyright.PENANAhsda4FkIOM
突然在夢中,我感受到身體有人輕輕的撫摸着我,是無比溫暖的手。我拖着疲倦而且寒冷的身軀,努力睜開自己雙眼。353Please respect copyright.PENANAaBV2ptuFxL
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是妳嗎,敏青?貓神你不要騙我。353Please respect copyright.PENANAJOdtflnyWw
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「好得意呀佢。」是敏青輕柔的聲線,別說變成貓,就算我變成甲蟲都應該不會搞錯啊。353Please respect copyright.PENANArE85cMUkee
353Please respect copyright.PENANAo01GP2Ggiz
「係啊B…佢仲好暖。」另一把聲令我發抖,明明是一個大男人,卻升高聲線用BB聲說話。他用手摸著我的背。353Please respect copyright.PENANAnyJec0T5YO
353Please respect copyright.PENANARdhcWy9Zqn
「你再扮女人,我一定打撚死你!」我大叫,然後想要咬他,可是他手縮得很快。哼,膽小鬼。353Please respect copyright.PENANAbtaI89wJB6
353Please respect copyright.PENANAUTkwEbgNhv
「嘩,佢好惡啊B!」街燈照射到他的樣子。天啊,敏青的男朋友是一個面目可憎的MK仔。353Please respect copyright.PENANAf17SbGfcoX
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「你溫柔啲啦,佢可能驚啊!」敏青輕輕打一下MK仔的手。353Please respect copyright.PENANA8aPBNWEIFh
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「我淨係對你溫柔㗎咋B。」他嘔心的說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAsVfk4sQrNC
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「阿明,今晚好凍呀,而且又係平安夜,唔知佢捱唔捱得過,不如帶佢返屋企咯?」敏青對MK仔男朋友說。原來這傢伙叫阿明,名字都特別醜。353Please respect copyright.PENANAyNiHlKxz6n
353Please respect copyright.PENANAwYOo6WDMZv
「我哋唔係講好咗話養狗咩,而且你都冇問過屋企人。」MK仔有點猶豫說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAlCMSkU9hSl
353Please respect copyright.PENANAC4Gu2GOZtV
「但係佢好慘呀!如果過幾日出嚟見到佢條屍嘅話我一定會好唔安樂。」353Please respect copyright.PENANAJSa4ddgcnf
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對了,這個年頭的人都是變態的,野豬都能夠亂殺,更何況街貓。快點帶我回家吧!353Please respect copyright.PENANA5t0aLc2EZG
「不過…」353Please respect copyright.PENANAPpYNqJXZNX
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「唔好不過啦!我屋企咋嘛,又唔係你屋企!」353Please respect copyright.PENANAi2trKGXIvf
353Please respect copyright.PENANAMcw8b1og0Y
「你屋企咪即係我屋企囉。」他又用BB聲,求求你快點滾開吧。353Please respect copyright.PENANAeYzV4hlBUp
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「咁你咁錫我!一定會支持我㗎B!」敏青撒嬌地說,我聽到自己心碎的聲音。353Please respect copyright.PENANAatHt5BH81w
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「好啦好啦。咁今晚平安夜,我哋一齊返屋企啦。」MK仔終於說出自己最大的心願。353Please respect copyright.PENANARvodWRy0fz
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「你呀,同我同貓貓返咗屋企之後,乖乖返自己屋企啊!不可以色色!」敏青說,我露出勝利的眼神望著MK。353Please respect copyright.PENANA9UYCarqYUU
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「嗯~又唔俾我~」MK又再撒嬌,我毛管棟得要命。353Please respect copyright.PENANAJMNB2k8yTd
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「係喎,唔知佢係男仔定女仔黎呢?」敏青嘗試轉移話題。女神果然是玉潔冰清的!353Please respect copyright.PENANAupdpBoNu09
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「等我睇吓先!」叫做阿明的MK作勢想要抱我。353Please respect copyright.PENANAWSO0H0NrYX
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「救命啊!!」我嘗試掙扎,無奈我對於爪的操控能力還是非常欠佳。353Please respect copyright.PENANAPiYjlFqxjS
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「應該係女仔黎,你睇吓,冇姑姑㗎。」阿明指著我的下體說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAF4bZ5RHxBc
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「你盲㗎?咁大條你都睇唔到?」353Please respect copyright.PENANAA29UsFrGmH
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敏青把臉哄過來我的下身,仔細觀察着我的下體。雖然隔着口罩和幾cm的距離,我卻能嗅到她的香氣和感覺到她呼氣的熱度。不知是因為女神真的很香還是我的嗅覺變得靈敏。353Please respect copyright.PENANAufhn0utdb3
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「乞嗤!」每次女神靠得很近時,我總是忍不著打噴嚏,做人的時候是這樣,做貓如是。看來是心理作用大於生理反應。(有另外的生理反應便是了)353Please respect copyright.PENANAq2yDXN9iid
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「係喎,真係冇喎。」她說。353Please respect copyright.PENANAyYxpFM9fSZ
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「…」被女神這樣一說,我真的非常無奈。353Please respect copyright.PENANAKN6LhbKsen
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「好啦,就叫你做阿月啦靚女!今日開始你就係我嘅屋企人啦!」敏青抱起箱子,在男朋友的陪同下,將我帶回她的家。353Please respect copyright.PENANAzpHihOgUXd
這一切都來得太突然以及太真實了。我抬頭望向天空,嘗試找出第二個月亮,這樣大概就能證明我還是在做夢。可是,第二個月亮並不存在,明月以外,除了星宿還是星宿。353Please respect copyright.PENANAwGmc3CI87v
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無論如何,從平安夜步入聖誕節的這一刻,我還是願望成真了。353Please respect copyright.PENANASOPgLjTfOG
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見步行步吧。353Please respect copyright.PENANAdNumw6TIW2