我經常做光怪陸離的夢。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnllOeHh6S6
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63OxUkZrEI
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEZX3HWZby
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9opBEWXZ8y
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Lttd2K7xd
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2W7V8e4BM
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3469qlX4c1
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP5StGTLLf
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4X2ugsLHJM
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS22wVk8bd6
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7MPG6IPCO
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Dt2sDZzw0
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunsNW8b0DQ
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfmh9jklFX
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOZ5EMf8F5
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsvVqsovmI
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruwna2ILGw
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sd13U459H
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ7zrtqRNo
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnmDunoXHV
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg5Ri4RVyk
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhFIGPhunw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYORPcK2vL
對了！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHZEIErfII
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfNdAwcRCC
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5H9lYI9AgN
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42OyYbD6DL
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMVX22ZvBM
阿日是我的名字。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyQ9KlDUIU
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVwhq1tOcV
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxn6n1QekNF
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecAkNeUJSG
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5Tu4e875f
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunxGr2joe6
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1dBY9GW20
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGgJm5UaIb
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51eZ61VNCa
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dF5WiF6xh
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXwAu6dFPm
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ies2HEYLd
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWifNA9Ztn4
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjkqsmcPqs
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ286xsL3BDQ
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySP4kyD3ZI
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYNtEbdhGs
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld4HRA8p1X
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0oaUGfdLj
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVavULCndb
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcjHzJRxzQ
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMpOzbU16t
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQytEjlyalU
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarf8AQvnAy
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi70xgYcbm
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfbwbgv1uo
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ46XW4m2Q0
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW24jKCqYmL
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeXOIUhyeL
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF3GVjYphX
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvB8xeyxwi
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TjsPNi6dj
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgey6k2UyIJ
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkafzDgVDGK
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjpiFkY2J2
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQWekjE6lI
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKh0fTzr1OZ
「是的。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSBhDpfp7Y
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69129V4G1L
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHynJFC6Lx
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSNA2GOPO9
「你的願望不能確保。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzi1EfFKfQv
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbdxucJoIx
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4JYVjsENn
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tXxBKdqHw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UOsS12NFd
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQgCCcIdrM
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDy9v42yxD
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwwKwMPAVQ
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88hR4ecj2L
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h4ReNVLUC
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJUvWckQ98
「好。最後答案？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKQFhaimnP
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxjBNJh1zv
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrCiPXlLJl
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDPW0Ngo7D
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDptiquVdH
「原來你識講口語…」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKbLjzO3tZ
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ooslEkUQR
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck7j8YMe49
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCbv5R2PY7
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQfb8AI958
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMY0tmlG8FR
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKTGxdI5ow
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3jDNJ6nLE
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRndCS9oJ5o
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKvZvHWowO
「原來仲有兩個願望？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5g6VJPHLT6
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc41dVbptX
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9qiyCq75Y
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L300z8vIn
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv7DpZBWGq
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhHBbZHU32
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS8dgt0Uu7
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkr8aD5pz7
我在睡夢中醒來。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqngMiHO4s
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdTILebmxO
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhvmfYE7o4
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKc6yp0rtm
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3olTnrA02h
然後按「加至主畫面」