我經常做光怪陸離的夢。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AM4KvAK9B
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8jPvXiLWb
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePPb0o67DM
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeOtrPJA1c
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlMQ8lBX5o
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEOFrV3lK3
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsGa6C2LkY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKlLUB3h4j
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeC3g258JR
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH63SQxCXC
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuFaMLZvCY
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCNfZm41vQ
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNeLb0EcCp
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmzpXC0mf2
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXbZb7lPIe
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8Gih3oKVi
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHWCRZ5uec
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVDQiIEudX
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVj9aREG3M
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu1WC6tMmf
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBqFyrcGRj
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpbPo4yNkx
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn6gV4gVJZ
對了！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESXYyiSZEU
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu5DzODBxp
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDxQHmehDP
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjCn6CGO9J
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6RpOH2FxL
阿日是我的名字。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuzfP9Estd
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIQII3GhS7
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRab4Hd2MrG
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8unTkI9GJI
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EutHpBv7V
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DbJbRlpSF
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEOFDA2HTi
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCniEJmoH88
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY6oZLCSQc
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpT7Mfdvjn
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEwLjo8d0S
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ypbP0LV8C
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡro8mOUTRF0
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVsusOEHCA
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U8o9adfrE
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67gofVKML7
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74MVNeU8uY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJdc4QAayu
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfCxNwhlms
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xszgafjkH
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9f6QJbNCf5
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu7qeBVaTA
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyoLP3Y6AP
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RvTBGCxZ5
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w4hWF2wZz
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cEG6paWEB
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jUQ06WSOb
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79aR9XRFPA
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLYwxvChOb
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0JDr5ahaa
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jWSUnoWxA
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOahhtNjto
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZcKKxKXd5
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhOnTWGCzk
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F4EsoFnQI
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdm4SLRKZ5
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY6Ua70zij
「是的。」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQmUrpWdtK
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUAzgrcalx
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaofnRIS5L
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Edzo6ruu3
「你的願望不能確保。」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHRyETIxDa
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp92p7HChW
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9CrynIzdL
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh5ql7EwBO
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg21vyPrkJ
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcZtU3Qe5C
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnkSAEOCJ7
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMbGmqbN9u
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyC7oDNvAN
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpXAcb8ALd
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVfkuE5g1d
「好。最後答案？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ0B5IzQ8h
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdgk5dkxdA
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5u3iPz1dB
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdXIzVWyyo
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWuVTNiSfF
「原來你識講口語…」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYY16bckml
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYG4UEMPTV
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qcrBqS00s
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkE16z5HMad
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQketvk8Ucx
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQc7j66ZOn
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CYoQbPgQn
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0cFltuCqy
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlUiwFxThH
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVo88Q2dP9E
「原來仲有兩個願望？」359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet5K92WZYI
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZhZMD6Jnk
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9qVm8PpC7
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw88EjhS73A
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZICY5SlvL8
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rf1I0QgC9
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShhP5epDJZ
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO78vkWaAG4
我在睡夢中醒來。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOCnjIwL1p
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzOC951gmE
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWU7rca0wo
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhdV6TUI1e
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuaJZkRe0C
然後按「加至主畫面」