8AM and the alarm clock startles me. I lay on my bed with my arms crossed over my body like a vampire. It’s time for me to get up and get ready for school, but my body won’t comply, I decide to stay in bed being unbothered by the sound. It’s still dark out, and my room is barely above freezing temperature. Fall is much more enjoyable than this; The leaves change color, and the brisk breeze is not overwhelming. Sometimes, the city was lucky enough to catch a nice sunset after a long day. Things were… good. I’d wake up to birds chirping outside my window, and the smell of my mom cooking bacon and eggs for me and Dad. The scent practically lifted me into the air, flying over to the meal. Her warm hugs comforted me, and my dad would say the most unfunny things as he drove me to school, but I’d still smile. Then my parents died. And now it’s winter. They would have helped me with my seasonal blues. It’s up to me to help myself. It’s time to wake up. There’s this one girl, Nora who’s been so kind to me ever since my parents passed. She’s my lab partner, and now we’re practically friends. Every morning, I get a text from her, “Good morning., it’s the last day of school before winter break! You’ve got this!”. Yes, somehow, I can.  

After I finally roll off my bed, I put on my brown sweater and dark blue jeans. Without bothering to stop by the bathroom to wash and groom myself, I head to the kitchen to pick up my bologna sandwich I made last night and place it in my backpack and head out the front door. 

As I walk through my block, I see the neighbors’ grabbing decorations from their garage. It’s the first of December.  Mr. Randy has placed all his decorations up this morning. He’s the best, always stopping by and bringing me cookies, or giving me rides when I need them nowadays. 

“Hello, Penelope! Do you like my set up?” he asks, pointing at the inflatable snowman to his right side.  

“Looks good!” I reply with a smile and a thumbs up, trying to make my way past him as I hurry to school. 

“Hold on a second. I know your parents aren’t around this Christmas, so I was wondering if you’d like to come to my place Christmas night for dinner. My family will be there, I’ve even got a niece your age! How does that sound?” His face is full of cheer, and I hate to shut the man down.  

“Mr. Randy, that’s very nice of you, but Christmas isn’t really my thing anymore. Staying in a cozy blanket and watching my favorite series will be comforting to me, I’m sorry.” Before he attempts to change my mind, I give him a hug and continue my walk. Being with people who aren’t my family won’t make me happy, not even Mr. Randy. 

Dirty ice slush seeps into my moccasins, by the time I get to the school lot my feet are completely soaked. Holiday decorations hang up along the school, reminding me of a time when I would’ve enjoyed Christmas. Cars pile into the drop- off zone, each letting out students who care about nothing but themselves. They all pretend to like you and, next thing you know, they’ve etched “‘Penelope’s parents were lucky to leave her’” on the back of the bathroom stall. People at this school have always been cruel to me, I cant seem to figure out why. Walking into the hallway, I scan the room to find Nora, the only nice one around here. Her dark, poofy, curly hair is practically impossible to miss in these halls. As I get closer, I notice she’s talking with Katie and Tara, the two hotshots of the school. Their Victoria Secret perfume and death glares they give me practically create a zone of inhibition against me. Although she talks to them a lot, she’s different. She’s got these gorgeous eyes, and her style is top notch. If you’re asking me, she’s the coolest girl in the school, so I get a little scared to talk to her. Still wanting to thank her, I yell across the hall. 

“Thanks for the message, girl!” I shout at Nora, not getting too close to the bimbos that surround her. Her hair flips as she turns around, revealing her face. Her eyebrows raise and she seems taken aback. She signals to Katie and Tara that she’s coming over to me. 

”Hey… No problem Penelope. Are you good? You seem a little strange” 

Looks like she caught onto the fact I was gazing at her a little too much. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Your message just helped me wake up and I wanted to thank you. Also, do you want to get bubble tea after school and do our project?” I take a big gulp, nervous for her answer.

“Sure. I want to get this project done already, meet you at the front after school?” Before I have the time to open my mouth she says, “Kay, see you!” And strolls away.

            The day goes by in a blur, and before I know it lunchtime comes around. The bell rings and I head out the doors of my math classroom, heading towards the cafeteria for lunch. I scan for places to sit, and it’s between the rude nerds who judge you based on your academics, and Katie, Tara, and Nora. She’s my only friend, but I hate who she hangs out with. Maybe it’s time to suck it up and be open minded. They can’t be that bad. I take my bologna sandwich out of my bag and walk towards their table. The bubble of conversation makes it hard for me to make out what they’re saying, but as I get closer I start to hear Nora and Katie talking.

“What’s with that girl anyway, Nora? She’s always looking at you with google eyes like some weirdo”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I felt bad for her after her parents died so I started texting her in the mornings to wake up because I know she has a hard time with it. Now it’s just annoying cause she thinks we’re best friends or something, it’s SO annoying. Just my luck for being nice to a girl with dead parents”

Katie and Tara notice I was right behind Nora. They stare right at me, smirking and holding in their pig snorts.

“What’s so funny you guys?” She turns around are our eyes lock together. Spiked by embarrassment, my face is close to tears, and all I could do was try and force a smile. Nora’s eyes widen while Tara and Katie burst into laughter behind her.

 “Good for you being nice to a girl with dead parents, how strong of you!”  sniffling between my words, I know there’s nothing else to do but leave.

“Penelope, hold on! You know I didn’t mean it, right? Come back here!”

Nora grabs my hand and tries to pull me back to her. In shock, I look back and our eyes lock together for a few seconds. My face flushes, and bright red is painted all over my face. All I want to do is scream at her and everyone in the cafeteria at the top of my lungs, but as a I open my mouth nothing will come out. She sees my pain and mouths “I’m sorry” while she lets go of my hand, I turn around and rush to leave the cafeteria.

I walk out the front doors of school, telling the nurse that I feel sick. My bologna sandwich is tasteless- I can’t stop thinking about what happened back there. If my parents were here, this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe I’d be alone at school, but together with them. They’d pressure me to get up and stand up for myself. Instead, everybody in the cafeteria sees me being ridiculed. I’m so embarrassed. Across my street is Mr. Randy, now clearing up the snow on his driveway. His daughter, Felicity is waiting to pull into his driveway. She looks over at me walking down the street from the driver’s seat, and pulls down the window.

Her voice is full of cheer as she screams over, “You’re coming this Christmas! Make it a date!”

“Whatever you say, Felicity!”  It’s not too hard to fake being in a good mood now, after what happened at school I feel numb. As I walk past their home I give another wave to Randy and Felicity.

            Finally, I reach home. My Wet moccasins and my jacket go into the closet. I let out a long sigh as I’m in front of my empty living room. My eyes start to grow heavy, and I can’t seem to hold the weight of my body anymore- it’s exhausted. There’s a weighted blanket on my couch that I pick up and put myself under, it’s like an armor. I’m not stepping foot into that school until the New Year, so I’m taking it upon myself to eat as much as I want and watch the new season of You, and the same day will repeat until this seasons’ over.

            As I wake up on a Tuesday afternoon, my first instinct is to grab my phone. The 25^th, great. The days have passed by in such a blur that I haven’t realized Christmas is right here. Aside from Nora’s sad attempts to be my friend over messenger, I’ve got no notifications. No calls, no check-ins from relatives, surprise, surprise. It’s painful to realize that there isn’t anyone here for me anymore, and I’m all by myself. It’s only a matter of time before the government realizes I’m all alone, and who knows where they’ll take me. As I ponder what to do, I decide writing down how I feel in a journal;

            Feeling hopeless this Christmas, there’s nobody around. I feel like nobody cares…

A loud knock interrupts my writing. The sound of bells jingling fades I get closer to my door. I look down to see a wrapped box. “Penelope, from the Randy’s” on it. A small chuckle comes out, and I pick up the box. As I look up, I realize Mr. Randy is in my front lawn, and he’s looking right at me.

“Merry Christmas, Penelope. Come on over and we’ve got a nice surprise for you.”

Mr. Randy’s house is behind him. Cheerful smiles are on the face of the children, and I can hear the soft holiday tunes playing in his house. Everyone looks so happy. Just as I’m about to turn down Mr. Randy’s offer a final time, I think of mom and dad. They would want me to go there, to have fun. It’s not my fault they’ve passed, but It’s on me to move ahead.

My eyes meet Mr. Randy, and I can’t help but smile. “Merry Christmas Mr. Randy. What’s for lunch?”

I don’t know how I’ll carry on, but it’ll be all okay someday.