我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 四十二

四十二

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我用另一隻手取出電話。

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係Jenny打黎。

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係喎，我唔記得向佢報到。

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突然間好心虛。

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我望一望阿冰，咁啱佢又望住我，我地四目交投。

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「我聽個電話先？」我有啲尷尬咁問。

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阿冰好大方咁笑笑，點點頭。

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「喂？」我接左電話。

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「老公~食完Annual dinner未呀？」Jenny響電話另一端問。

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「哦…食完。」我真係有啲心虛。

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「又話食完會打比我既…」Jenny扁咀既聲音。

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「哦，因為…嗯…因為成班同學約下場去飲野，而家去緊，而家去緊。」我亂搵藉口。

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「咁都要打比我架嘛…」Jenny扁咀。

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「下次會記得架啦。」

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「老公…你話一大班同學，點解你果度好似咁靜咁既？」Jenny有小小擔心咁問。

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「哦，我地…嗯，行緊去飲野吖嘛。」

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「真係…？」

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「梗係啦！」我即時反應！

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「咁…好啦，你都唔好咁夜…我訓啦，但你返到去hall都要打比我。」Jenny冇懷疑…

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應該冇呱？

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食完Annual Dinner有下場都好正常啫？

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「嗯，早抖。」

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「早抖老公。」

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呼。

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鬆一口氣。

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阿冰望住我，突然笑左下：「女朋友？」

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我R一R頭：「係呀。」

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「你啲戲好屎呀~講野一舊舊咁！」阿冰取笑下我：「你諗定返去點同佢解話啦～」

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屌，唔好嚇我呀。

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「講笑咋，睇下你嚇到個樣！」阿冰笑左出黎！

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嘩，真係成日都比你玩死。

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不過，咁係咪即係代表阿冰開心返？或者至少正常返？

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「你成日咁樣呃女朋友架？」阿冰古古惑惑咁問。

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「梗係唔係啦。見你今晚係我女朋友先破例咋。」

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阿冰面上紅左一紅，之後繼續挨個頭落我手臂度：「口花花！」

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「真心話黎架！」

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「咁…返去咯？」阿冰提議。

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「咁早？」我問。

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我地淨係散左步咋喎。

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雖然唔經唔覺都行左成個幾鐘…而且咁夜其實都冇乜地方去…

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「嗯，有你陪住我，心情好返好多啦。」阿冰再次抬頭，笑得好甜咁望住我：「多謝你呀，男朋友。」

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OMG！

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點解阿冰可以笑到咁甜？天仙下凡呀！

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「哈，你都係笑返最靚。」我都笑住回答佢。

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只要你開心返就好了。

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阿冰笑住咁挨返落我度。

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「咁我地而家返去hall喇。」我同意左阿冰啱啱既提議，同時亦意味住我呢個「男朋友」既身份即將結束。

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有效期好短。

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不過夠了，我已經響度踩緊鋼線、玩緊火了。就等今晚我同阿冰既經歷，成為我寶貴既回憶吧。

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「嗯，行咯。」阿冰轉為拖住我向前走。

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我選擇左由尖沙咀飛的返屯門。

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一定好貴。

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但我希望趁住仲可以用「男朋友」呢個身份陪阿冰既時候，可以同佢兩個人靜靜咁獨處。

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呃，仲有的士司機就是了。

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條仆街的士佬係咁響倒後住阿冰，唔好以為我見唔到。

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不過都慣架啦。

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女神去到邊都係吸引男人架喇。

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阿冰挨住我個膊頭，不知不覺間沉沉睡去。

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我都無謂打擾佢，好好享受呢個安靜既時刻吧。

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過左今晚唔會再有機會架喇。

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夜深。

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四下無人，只有零星既學生行過，不過黑暗之中都唔係好睇得好清楚大家個樣。

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我拖住阿冰隻手慢慢行返hall。

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作為期間限定男朋友最後既任務，就係將阿冰平安送返hall。

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一路上大家都保持沉默，享受住果種安寧。

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果種安寧令我之前心入面既罪惡感同緊張感暫時一掃而空。

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取而代之既係甜蜜同不捨既感覺。

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我冇辦法知道阿冰諗既野係咪同我一樣，但至少我從佢既表情之中得知佢都享受緊當下既安寧。

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呢種關係就黎結束。

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我諗我地雙方都好清楚，呢種關係唔應該再有下一次。

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不捨還不捨，路總有走完既時候。唔經唔覺，我地已經行到左阿冰住既果棟hall既樓下。

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「我要走喇。」阿冰望住我。

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「嗯。」

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「咁…再見啦。」阿冰揮揮手，轉身準備走入大門。

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「我…」我欲言又止。

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「做得你男朋友起碼要整個goodbye kiss啦！」

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…

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好似呢啲咁破壞氣氛既野我係唔會講的。

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亦都唔係諗住上去阿冰間房，因為呢個時間我根本入唔到佢棟hall，會比門口個仆街看更趕返出黎。

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其實，我都唔知想講啲乜，只係希望阿冰唔好咁快走。

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阿冰回身望住我。

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「…」冇出聲。

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然後，佢慢慢行過黎。

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慢慢…

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行到我面前。

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雙手攬住我。

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身體靠住我。

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我心跳加速，跳得好快好快。

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全身僵硬。

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「多謝你陪我。」阿冰悅耳既聲音細細聲咁響起。

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「嗯。」我喉嚨好似冇辦法出到聲咁。

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阿冰抬起頭望住我。

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我向下望實阿冰。

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阿冰雙眼好吸引。

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好似會將我既靈魂吸走一樣。

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我地凝視住對方。

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三。

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二。

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一。

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我們接吻了。

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回過神來既時候，我已經返左房坐左響自己張床上面。

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自己一個。

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阿冰同我一樣，冇辦法過左凌晨十二點之後仲上到第二棟hall。

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我望實自己個電話。

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…

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雖然只係一晚，但係界線被跨過了。

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…

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Jenny…

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我好亂。

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明明係自己搞出黎。

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今晚所有野全部都係我自己搞出黎。

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乜撚野唔想阿冰傷心，只係我諗出黎既藉口。

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為左自己而諗既藉口。

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我拎起個電話，打比Jenny。

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嘟…嘟…

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「喂…」Jenny把聲明顯係訓緊覺。

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「我返到hall喇。」

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「嗯…你都快啲休息下啦…好夜啦…」Jenny仲係咁關心我。

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「嗯，早抖。」

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「拜拜…」

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Jenny…

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罪惡感由然而生。

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我繼續凝視住自己部iPhone。

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分別之後，阿冰冇send過任何訊息過黎。

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唔得…

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唔可以再咁落去…

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有啲野要停止了。

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再咁落去，我返唔到轉頭。

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我諗呢個決定對我，對Jenny，對阿冰都好。

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至少，我響呢一刻係咁認為。

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