我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 五十五

五十五

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今日係出左軌之後第一次同Jenny出街，所以我成個人都好唔自然。

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而我睇得出Jenny其實都一樣。

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佢既反應好似…有啲ove左…

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其實佢係咪估到啲野？

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本來諗住將中四平安夜既甜蜜回憶倒帶可以令我個心好過啲，能夠憶起返同Jenny一齊甜蜜既感覺，甚至乎戰勝出軌既罪惡感，但結果餐飯既氣氛食到古古怪怪咁…

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我係時候要做啲野。

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我響我個袋入面拎左一盒禮物出黎，入面裝住既係尋晚我買既情侶手鈪。

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一人一隻架。

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我將份禮物遞到Jenny面前，說道：「老婆，送比你架。」

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Jenny露出一副驚喜既表情，雙手接過份禮物，之後甜絲絲咁望住我：「多謝老公！」語氣透露出真正既開心。

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應該係今日第一次真正咁開心。

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見到Jenny未拆份禮物都咁開心，我鬆一口氣。

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總算開始撥亂反正…

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「我仲以為…你會唔記得添…」Jenny講到雙眼好似有小小眼濕濕…

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咁誇張？

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咦？

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但係佢以為我唔記得啲乜野？

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然後我見到Jenny由佢個袋入面都拎左份禮物出黎…

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咦？

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我都有禮物收？

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「老公，送比你架，四週年快樂！」Jenny笑住咁將份禮物遞比我。

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充滿真誠既笑意。

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我腦海突然一片空白。

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係喎。

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前幾日係我同Jenny拍拖四週年既日子。

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扑阿冰果日。

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我失左踪半晚果日。

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咁重要既日子，我竟然完全忘記左。

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係完完全全唔記得左。

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我諗果日Jenny應該好hurt…但點解佢又完全唔出聲提我呢？

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唔通佢驚我覺得佢煩？點會呀！

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我好茫然咁接過份禮物，勉強笑住咁問：「拆得？」

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Jenny點點頭：「梗係得啦，傻瓜。」

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我地兩個同時一齊拆開雙方既禮物。

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Jenny送比我既係一本由佢自己親手整既相簿，入面貼滿我地呢四年入面響唔同地方影既相，而且每一頁入面都有Jenny親筆寫既小小獨白。

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響我之前同阿冰曖昧緊既時候，Jenny就係咁好比心機咁整緊呢一本拍拖四週年紀念相簿…

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而我呢？

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響拍拖四週年正日果晚扑左阿冰四次。

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我就快頂唔住自己…

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我個表情就快Hold唔住，連poker face式既笑容都就保持唔住…

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我想喊…可能係因為Jenny份禮物感動到喊？

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唔係，係為自己既所作所為後悔同羞愧到喊…

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我抬頭望一望Jenny，佢好似好開心：「嗯，我真係好開心老公冇唔記得我地拍拖四週年~多謝老公四週年安排我地黎呢度食自助餐~又送咁靚既手鈪比我！」之後遞一遞其中一隻手鈪比我：「我地一人一隻架！」

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全部都係美麗既誤會…

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「以後要對你女朋友好啲呀。」

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我以為買多啲禮物比Jenny就叫做對佢好啲。

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我以為餐餐帶Jenny食好西就叫做對佢好啲。

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…

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…

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其實唔係。

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我連拍拖四週年紀念日都走左去扑第二條女。

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我冇資格做Jenny男朋友。

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我冇資格得到Jenny既愛。

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我諗我塊面既面色突然之間變得好難睇，我聽到Jenny戰戰兢兢既聲音問我：「係咪唔鍾意我份禮物…？」

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我搖一搖頭：「好鍾意，好靚，我好感動。」

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但我唔配擁有。

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Jenny有小小擔心咁問：「但係你面色唔係幾好？」

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「個肚…好似有小小唔舒服。」我鳩噏。

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「咁不如埋單返屋企休息下啦。」未等我答應，Jenny就叫左侍應黎埋單。

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呢個時候Jenny都仲係咁擔心我既身體健康狀況…

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「不如你繼續食？比左錢唔好浪費。」我道：「我自己返屋企先。」

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我自責，響你面前抬唔起頭。

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所以我想逃離現場。

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「我陪你返去啦。」Jenny柔聲地道：「你唔舒服一個人點返去？」

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「嗯…」

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回家路上。

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Jenny橋住我手臂一路行。

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大家都冇出聲。

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我諗起中四平安夜果晚，我同Jenny行呢條路果陣，大家都係緊張到冇乜點傾計…

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「以後要對你女朋友好啲呀。」

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…

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…

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…

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真正對Jenny好，我應該對佢坦白。

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真正對Jenny好，應該同佢講我係一個人渣。

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真正對Jenny好…

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真正對Jenny好…

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真正對Jenny好…應該要同佢分手。

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Jenny值得搵個更好的男朋友。

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我係仲鍾意佢，我仲愛佢，但我呢啲人渣配佢唔起。

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愛佢仲出去搞三搞四？真係笑話。

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我突然停下腳步。

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Jenny有小小愕然，但都跟隨我停左落黎。

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響正我屋企樓下平台，有花草樹木，有噴水池，有微弱既街燈。

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係冇乜人。

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好適合處理以下落黎會發生既事。

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「其實…我冇唔舒服。」我深呼吸左一啖氣，做左一個決定。

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「陳仲妮。」我唔係叫佢老婆。

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可能我好耐冇咁叫佢，Jenny個樣好似比人打左一拳咁。

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「不如…我地分手啦。」我配你唔起。

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我只係一個背住女朋友搞三搞四既人渣。

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你值得更好的。

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Jenny冇理我擰轉身，拉一拉我隻手：「唔好玩啦，夜啦，你又唔舒服，快啲返屋企休息啦。」

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我企定定冇比Jenny扯郁，再同佢講：「對唔住…但我認真架…」我feel到自己把聲開始有啲震：「我做左件好錯好錯既事…你唔會原諒我架…」

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Jenny轉身望住我，之後衝過黎攬實我，將個頭埋響我心口：「唔會架…唔會架…你講啦，我點都原諒你架！」

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Jenny突然放聲大哭：「你話過唔會唔要我架！」

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（待續）

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