我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 四十三

四十三

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之後果兩日，我完全冇搵過阿冰。

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同樣地，阿冰都冇搵過我。

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無論係見面、電話定sms都冇。

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我諗大家都明白左一啲野。

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所以大家都不約而同咁做左同一個決定。

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呢兩日我做野又好上堂又食飯又好甚至同Jenny傾電話都好，我都無精打采。

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爭在未喊出黎。

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希望Jenny唔好察覺到我有咩異常。

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唉，個心好痛，但我諗咁樣對我、對Jenny同對阿冰甚至乎對Jason都係好的。

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當然如果Jason係player就另計喇。

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總之，我諗我同阿冰個緣份已盡。

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當時我的確係咁諗。

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果一晚，我同班仆街hallmates食完夜晚飯，自己一個返到空無一人既房，自己坐左響張床度。

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阿熙又去左補習。

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呢條友…仲有一個月鬆啲就sem尾final exam啦，好心佢就補少啲溫下書喇。

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成間房得我一個。

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好寂寞。

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諗起阿冰…

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仲好心痛…

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…

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電話突然響起。

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我攞起電話，望一望來電顯示。

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真係一諗起佢，佢就即刻打黎…

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係阿冰。

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我朝思暮想既阿冰。

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但係…我已經決定左斬情絲。

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其實一早要斬。

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或者根本唔應該開始。

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如果冇識到佢我而家應該乜都唔駛諗，仲係開開心心咁同Jenny一齊過。

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唔駛心煩。

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電話繼續響。

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我歎左一口氣，心下一軟，決定接聽電話。

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可能阿冰真係有緊要事搵我呢。

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「喂，阿冰？」我刻意冇用camp花呢個花名，想保持返小小距離。

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「…」電話另一端冇出聲。

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「阿冰？」定我應該用輕鬆既語氣叫佢camp花，當冇事發生過一樣？

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冇可能，就算阿冰得，我都冇信心再用朋友既身份面對佢。

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條線跨得一次就有第二次、第三次。

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「…」都係冇出聲。

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唔尋常。

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…

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我好似隱約聽到啜泣既聲音。

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阿冰…？喊緊？

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果個永遠都掛住笑面既阿冰喊緊？

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「阿冰？你…冇野吖嘛？」我忍唔住問。

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「…你…可唔可以過黎陪我？」阿冰用佢果把帶有喊聲既聲音問。

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我未試過聽過阿冰把聲咁唔開心。

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真係喊緊？

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但…我唔係話要保持距離既咩？

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而阿冰唔係都作出左同樣既決定咩？

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我沉默左一陣子。

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「…唔得…就…算啦…」阿冰把聲更傷心了。

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…

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…

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我唔係從來都冇諗過要做阿冰男朋友既咩，咁我驚咩？

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我唔係話過要以朋友既身份幫阿冰解決問題既咩？

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我唔係話過要令阿冰開心既咩？

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咁我而家響度做緊咩？

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「我而家即刻過！」我斬釘截鐵咁講！

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一收線，我即刻衝出房，差啲撞親迎面而黎既司徒！

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「喂，趕住去投胎咩？」司徒問：「諗住問你連唔連線打機呀？」

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「Sorry，唔得閒，有急事，一陣返先搵你地玩。」我頭也不回咁答。

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「咁好啦…」司徒把聲漸遠。

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我跑呀跑…唔理周圍同學既目光，衝左入阿冰棟hall，衝到去阿冰間房前面。

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可能因為食飯時間，走廊空無一人。

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我企左響度。

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真係要入去？

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我仲猶豫緊既時候，門打開左。

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係阿冰。

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係因為聽到我急促既腳步聲所以知道我黎左？

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阿冰雙眼有小小腫腫，一臉唔開心既樣，應該真係喊過黎。

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阿冰望住我，拉一拉我隻手，低聲道：「阿威…」

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唔係叫camp草，係叫阿威。

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好似有啲距離感。

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不過即使係喊緊，阿冰把聲依舊動聽。

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阿冰用左小小力拉我入佢間房。

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佢間房只係開左枱頭燈，微弱既黃光令間房睇落有點昏暗。

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阿冰既同房依舊唔響度。

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我一入房之後，阿冰反手鎖左門。

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我微微一驚，驚自己孤男寡女共處一室唔知會做啲乜。

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尤其是我理性上已經想同阿冰劃清界線，但係我感性上仍然係鍾意阿冰。

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咁樣好危險。

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「不如…開返門鎖？」我問。

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阿冰搖搖頭，指一指枱面。

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上面有兩打啤酒。

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「你驚比人知你飲酒？」我問。

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Hall係唔比人飲酒，但其實好多人都無視禁令照飲，所以理論上阿冰唔駛驚有人報寸。

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不過可能阿冰同hall啲人唔熟所以驚人報寸？

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唔緊要，阿冰想點就點吧。

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阿冰拎起罐啤酒，坐左響床沿，順便拍一拍佢身邊既位置，示意我坐過去。

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我坐左響阿冰隔離，望住佢美麗既臉容，只見佢眼睛有啲紅腫，而且眼有淚光。

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發生乜野事？

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同Jason有關？

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我見到阿冰既傷心樣，忍唔住攬住佢膊頭。阿冰自動咁將個頭挨落黎。

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我地默然不語，而阿冰間中飲一啖啤酒。

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如果阿冰想向我傾訴既話佢自然會開口，我呢一刻只要做佢既避風塘就好。

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反正，今次應該係最後一次了。

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真真正正係最後一次了。

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阿冰飲完一罐又一罐。

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「唔好再飲喇。」我阻止佢。

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「嗯。」阿冰又真係聽話唔飲。

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沉默。

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「Jason話…同我分手…」阿冰既眼淚又再流出黎。

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不停咁流。

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預料之內。

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「佢真係有第二個？」我問。

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「…係呀…佢自己…認左…之後…就同我分手…」阿冰不斷啜泣：「…佢以前…都試過…但佢應承過我會改…我一直以為…佢係講真架…而家先知好多野都係…自己一廂情願…」

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我突然怒氣攻心。

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「呢條撚樣唔值得你愛，唔值得你為佢傷心。」我語氣中帶點憤怒。

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「…我知…我喊埋今日，之後唔會再為佢傷心架啦…」但阿冰把聲依舊係傷心，但傷心中隱含一股堅決、決心：「比我傷心多一陣就冇野架啦…」

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我攬阿冰攬得更實了。

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阿冰微微抬頭：「可唔可以做多我一晚男朋友？」

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嗯？

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我都好想…但係…我驚我會泥足深陷落去…

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阿冰見我猶豫，於是更加哀求我：「求下你…阿威…真係一晚咁多…」

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之前明明係自己提呢樣野出黎，而家阿冰真係需要我果陣我就拒絕，我仲係男人黎既？

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「嗯。我今晚係你男朋友。」我攬實阿冰。

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我諗其實阿冰只係需要一個人陪。

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「咁你今晚唔好再飲酒啦，好唔好？要聽男朋友講。」我唔比佢再飲。

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再飲真係會唔知做啲乜出來。

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「嗯。」

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「你未食飯架呵？」我問。

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「未呀。」

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我輕輕推一推開阿冰，企起身。

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「我買啲野比你食？」我準備出去透下氣，順便買埋個晚餐比阿冰。

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阿冰拉一拉住我隻手：「唔好走…」

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「嗯？」

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阿冰企左起身，抬起望實我：「唔好走…」

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shit…再唔走我驚我真係會做錯事…

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我都係一個正常男人黎架…

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