ATEEZ的單篇故事 - 姜呂尚x鄭友榮《不是戀人的關係》

「失戀而已嘛，哭一哭就沒事了」

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這個故事不長也不算短。

但是當姜呂尚回想起，心底還是隱隱作痛。

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也不是故意的，就是有點心急了想要確認和鄭友榮的關係。

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掛上電話姜呂尚才敢放聲大哭。

哭的不是別的。

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「我現在沒辦法接受你沒錯但」

「搞不好總有一天會發現姜呂尚的好啊」

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鄭友榮那頭稍微輕浮。

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「什麼嘛⋯」

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太過份了。

姜呂尚卻捨不得斷乾淨。

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鄭友榮自顧自說起。

然而五個鐘頭過去了。

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從電話裡頭的呼吸聲感受到平靜。

姜呂尚得藉由這通電話才能安穩入眠。

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很可笑吧。

總之在姜呂尚的認知裡，朋友是不能牽手的。

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知道嗎，但是被一個人等待的感覺其實不錯。

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姜呂尚那時說了自己看著辦，其實思緒早就跌落谷底。

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像孩子一樣，傻的天真。

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鄭友榮一句不舒服，姜呂尚可以無條件的帶著感冒藥找上門。

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鄭友榮可以敞開右手臂讓他枕進懷抱裡，暖呼呼的。

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所以姜呂尚甚至還搞不清楚自己的心意就把第一次交給對方。

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「你要搞清楚狀況」

「我們不是戀人」

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所以之後姜呂尚還是忍不住向鄭友榮逼問了。

他們倆的關係簡直殘破不堪。

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怎麼就不能好好的愛惜自己⋯

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姜呂尚感到作嘔。

他踉蹌的推撞開酒吧後門，眼淚大滴大滴落下。

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「真的真的好喜歡他」

「我願意等」

「搞不好有一天⋯」

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姜呂尚一度責怪過自己。

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其實這段關係也不是那麼難放下。

只要姜呂尚下定決心，一天兩天⋯

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「鄭友榮，不劃清界線的是你」

「但難過的是我，你知道嗎」

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鄭友榮輕笑，姜呂尚明明感受到他對這份感情的不尊重。

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姜呂尚輸了。

輸的很慘。

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罷了。

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知道依賴上一個人是什麼滋味嗎？

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鄭友榮的微笑、鄭友榮身上的味道、鄭友榮的一言一語⋯

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不是所有的付出都會得到回報。

他還沒辦法若無其事和鄭友榮達成那樣的共識。

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曖昧這件事吧。

因為雙方的自私讓姜呂尚受傷了，其實鄭友榮僅是害怕失去。

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無法承受不如別開始。

誰都不要戳破了。

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2021.10.16

2021.11.12

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