無驚無險,又到六時半,在不知不覺之間,我已經逛了巴別塔近五個小時之多,中途不論仆街TB,超級駭客,甚至乎飛機頭都沒有進過來接近我房間一帶的地方。1232Please respect copyright.PENANADPpea4PddX
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAD2VfXQWMvR
就似是上天也感受到今晚將會發生一場暴風……所以特別為我準備一段漫長平靜一樣。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAlgYj7QvUuL
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAhD3G5c3RIa
經過今次長時間的詳細巡察,我才發現巴別塔有一個重大問題,就是分區問題,目前巴別塔就只有主討論區:【巴別塔討論區】,以及其分區:【巴別塔App談天區】。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAKtvk0kuehJ
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnKmgAHhenq
在區域上,我參考了埃利都的做法,就是談天區的所有帖子都能在主討論區看得到,相反談天區就只能看到自己區內的帖子,以方便會員尋帖及增加每個帖的觀看率。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAKqcUo8jiWP
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnuRASkrr85
細心觀察下,首先巴別塔的人流已經上升到「一個不錯的水平」,帖子變得多元化是必定的,其次帖子的流動也變得急速,因此要找到某個帖子有時也是不容易的事。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAPuPZldHmxe
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAczp0IDq29F
毫無疑問,現在是擴展的好時機,多開幾個分區對會員來說也算是個不錯的消息。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA01gYlCSV92
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAjDFu4MoeCm
但過多的分區又會使會員分散,所以這個舉動我必須慎重地決定。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZMgcHcoaJV
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAWOGxW1EpeL
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAfCLvvy7gXS
想到這裡,開往香港仔的巴士已經到達,我跟著大堆社會的齒輪上到一個奸商所製的超細罐頭裡。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAur7aApD40O
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA9aEr3J8EbR
車上的人多得過份,而且非常擠逼,搞得身為堂堂巴別塔創造主的本人像條誤闖沙甸魚群的海豚一樣,真失禮。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAzinv0L8rKx
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAF8zxYkjJks
一上到車,所有人都各自瞬速找個位置坐下,好死不死,到我選位的時候就只剩下兩個「關愛座」……1232Please respect copyright.PENANAd4QKkWU6r0
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZUAQmhI9cj
不知是哪個屎忽鬼想出這種鬼主意,明明只要有心,個個都是關愛座,為什麼要搞出這種特權意味甚重的「關愛座」啊?1232Please respect copyright.PENANAATIiePn5Sr
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAsHTXtkny4X
唉……算,一句到尾,現在這個時候究竟叫我坐還是不坐好?1232Please respect copyright.PENANA3y7cRlVNQf
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAueaXrp14om
考慮不夠四分一秒,一個龐大的身影在我旁邊閃過,二話不說就坐落我的兩個其中一個目標上,然後以滿口鄉音的廣東話大聲說:1232Please respect copyright.PENANASvotHDV2ll
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAWOXoYLZy2y
「阿霞!依度重有位啊!」1232Please respect copyright.PENANALE9KgaOPLk
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAmJczZedy1q
她說完這話,我望一望她,是一個臉部肌肉已習慣黑面的疑似師奶物體,應她的召喚,一名微胖的中年女性忽然出現,二話不說就將我撞開,一下坐到另一個「關愛座」。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAJBgVHXWDQ9
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAK9Tsw89WLf
二人半眼都沒看過我,完全把我當成透明,將搶位置的事當成理所當然一樣,愉快地開始自己的話題:1232Please respect copyright.PENANAoOFBwgItue
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAhJVhJTYo9K
「嘩,馨姐,真係唔該哂你啊!你真係快手既姐!」1232Please respect copyright.PENANA8CHx8Grjl2
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAqPGYIDH1kK
我亦無謂站著阻到後面魚貫而進的其他乘客,快快走進後面的深處找個位置站好。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAFjjjk20uZt
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAOA1O2X7NRC
可是兩個阿姐的閒談響遍全車,聽來實在比地盤噪音更令人心煩:1232Please respect copyright.PENANAvzQpFZy3Xl
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAVu6IAraan0
「哎喲,唔好咁講,係喇,你知唔知之後阿蓮佢啊……」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAmULn57INc5
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAvrfIth0M0o
「才!咪係度講埋依D野啦!」1232Please respect copyright.PENANA9AKyUvqMQr
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA66kh875viS
「Black top blazin', hometown fadin'1232Please respect copyright.PENANAmhjf0kMTlM
Out of sight in the rear view mirror1232Please respect copyright.PENANAthrG0gqAU7
Stevie Ray blasting on the radio1232Please respect copyright.PENANAPO1Epxvoqs
As I slam it into higher gear」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAb6DuqG9g4i
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAL3N1MHUAg4
當然兩位阿姐不會忽然說起英文來,這是我為了逃避兩隻怪物噪音而戴上耳筒所聽到的歌曲。1232Please respect copyright.PENANARXbyjPjuvR
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA3F1nkoLNlO
不久,巴士也上滿人了。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAQkWkB2tEkt
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAwzJtqUpqR8
它立即開動,啟程將我帶到籬漫著迷離黑霧的神祕島——鴨利洲,對岸一個叫香港仔的地方。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAUNuoK8I5Is
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAoIaAfxk18A
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAD29oMTHN2i
經過了廿幾個站的旅程,加上中間路況不算暢順,讓我花了足足近四十分鐘才到達目的地。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAYWiDnc0Rs8
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAFYJAL4CRCJ
香港仔這個地方我來過好多次,其實細妹之前也提過,就是因為我有個住鴨利洲的姑媽。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA7y5vz7BWCm
1232Please respect copyright.PENANADVtlCcTq5g
姑媽,即是我老豆的家姐,相比老母那邊的超級大家族,老豆的可說是非常迷你,只有三兄弟姊妹,姑媽最大,老豆排第二,下面還有個姑姐。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAGxq6wRv01V
1232Please respect copyright.PENANANSHDc9tfx2
整體來說,我對這邊的親戚並沒什麼反感,至少他們都很識做,新年利是夠大封,又不會問三問四,點到即止。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAGt6MRP00m1
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAEStd8PV1Q7
而老母那邊……唉,不說了,反正只是題外話,而且一個十二兄弟姊妹連帶無數表親的巨型家族,我保證當中的八卦是複雜得任何人都不想去理解的。1232Please respect copyright.PENANARvKHTH4fuI
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAhWeuNwV9Xu
除非我是某個大集團家族的富二代,或是將前額剃光,變成某個清朝的皇族吧。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA2diP4In1vx
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA60CVNa4wy5
說來有點離題了,也許我應該說回姑媽的事。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA5N5bJDflIw
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAkeWrayxPKi
別與老母那邊的親戚相比,單單與其他我遇過的所有人相比,姑媽肯定在我頭十個最尊敬的人當中佔一席位。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA3DGalvfpWM
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnuaGNemPSr
她是個了不起的女人,在擁有不錯的事業同時,也擁有美滿的家庭,兩個兒子在她教育下,都有著不錯的成就,而且為人大方,每年新年給我的利是都大封得很。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA9F9dR6OPnq
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAttMRCGC1ki
但我已經好幾年沒見過她,也沒有收到大大封的利是,原因很簡單,因為她已經病死了。1232Please respect copyright.PENANACDLcy9Hl36
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAMz2GSXT65G
隨她去世後,她的大兒子音訊全無,聽說不知去了哪裡流浪。而小兒子則娶了個日本妹,與姑丈移民到日本開始新生活,她本人就選擇了海葬,隨海水遊遍世界。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZKfNTGjXue
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZvGEOYyfml
所以現在留在鴨利洲的,除了一些回憶外,就只剩下他們曾住過的單位。如非南華早報的事,我接下來的人生,大概都不會再踏足這個地方。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAqq8TF3iBTi
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAXfLlNNi8yv
在回想這些事情的期間,時間已來到下午七時五十三分,而我在南記總店大門已等了差不多十分鐘,第一個巴別塔光明會的成員終於出現在我眼前,他就是Moscow killer,對他的外表,我還是只有「平凡」兩字可說。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA3jXdgeFmCD
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAClhgGwr7PR
由於大部份溝通上的工作都是由四眼仔負責,作為巴別塔創造主的本人,理所當然就只是負責決策。1232Please respect copyright.PENANASVBNwWeJ4V
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAx0Lsed3SF0
因此,一直以來,我對於巴別塔光明會成員的溝通都只局限於「有意義」的內容,簡單點來說,我們之間其實絕少,不,應該是根本完全沒有閒談。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAxZdaEQZ142
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAfbOICTc48c
所以這一刻,我們見面後除了簡單打個招呼,就什麼都沒有說了,然後沉默地並站在南記的門口,等待其他成員。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAfzsbwlYsd9
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA0nbexHJQny
見一時沒事做,我打開IPhone,看看巴別塔有沒有什麼有趣的東西看看。1232Please respect copyright.PENANANyJ8YbMyvg
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAJET5Oe5Plk
結果,馬上就找到一個覺得挺有趣的帖子,標題是『[認真非吹水]我懷疑自己個仔同菲傭發生左肉體關係』,隨帖更附上一幅X凱琪的相片,讓我非常不爭氣地笑了。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAaG3JiJTehw
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA28kBPZ4OZ7
按下『reply』將帖子展開,內容如下:1232Please respect copyright.PENANA8IM38p4Ng6
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZys8A2GUaH
「(NAME:鐵血外交官)1232Please respect copyright.PENANAwKSjnk0NbW
是咁的,由於差唔多一年前果時,我老婆又開始返工,無乜時間做屋企野,一家三口,成間屋最常出現既就得我果個十五歲半既仔。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAfZbkkSv3F9
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAh6CdtzqgnQ
老老實實你叫佢得閒煮下飯,照顧下自己都還可以,但要個思春期既靚仔幫你做家務,我好清楚根本就係天荒夜談!1232Please respect copyright.PENANATX0HVYyhwF
1232Please respect copyright.PENANARKs2DdJsXV
所以唯一會惦掃把既我同老婆就成日為左家務既事鬧交。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAeiPBHGGkuF
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAvuXMmAgdlX
我老婆可能因為係公司受左d壓力,所以成日返到黎見到間屋有少少亂就對住我同個仔閪口閪面,又比說話我地聽,三日唔埋兩日就鬧交,搞到成日家嘈屋閉。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnmOvZ4tgSl
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAY3jztRfgQu
於是我見屋企有D錢剩,個仔成日食公仔麵又好似唔係好健康,就把心一橫請左個菲傭返黎。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAS6uMXu9TcM
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA95vhS61YZb
可能男人天性係咸濕D,所以我下意識揀左個睇落幾大波又後生(當然唔只大波,睇紀錄知佢手腳乾淨,做野又快又熟手又勤力先揀佢架炸)既菲傭返黎。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAecVViIVeqa
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA2FfizXuyGb
點知佢第一日黎到,我即刻眼都凸埋,屌你佢對波簡直大鳩到痴撚線,阿叔見慣唔少大場面,但都忍唔住吞左幾啖口水。1232Please respect copyright.PENANA0Eo6vhC0Tp
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAyKuUHxvB0P
不過算,我好清楚自己唔鐘意食朱古力,見佢又勤力又有禮貌就由得佢啦(無可能因為個菲傭太大波所以炒佢架嘛),咪比次機會人囉。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAR8nrw5ibwD
1232Please respect copyright.PENANApITiMgrBMP
咁佢做到而家一直都無乜問題,老婆又煩少左,日日返到屋企有飯食,就結果黎講都幾完滿啊。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAU9IPbr3wNQ
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA0JHNGIVYPe
點知我琴晚半夜屙尿既時候發現有個Condom係馬桶入面,應該係上一手無留意沖唔走。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAKkGKWmZ8wP
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAjm7uT64wCu
全間屋得兩個男人,咪話我先入為主,我有無扑過野我自己最清楚啦。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAo5y0YllgkG
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAhDEmELpZPh
咁係我好肯定自己無扑過野既前題下,你話個Condom係邊個留低既,無論如果我都只諗到一個人,就係個衰仔……1232Please respect copyright.PENANA6YoWNAlS9v
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAlj2sTeTsWL
雖然鐵證如山,但我依然選擇呃自己其實琴晚係發夢,不過今朝食早餐既時候我先發現原來阿仔份早餐大份過我(明明我得一隻蛋,但佢有兩隻),佢又成日對住個菲傭笑笑口,舊朱古力又同佢打左個眼色,好明顯就有路啦!1232Please respect copyright.PENANAHHqSXbKInW
1232Please respect copyright.PENANALC7xZBVY4x
各位巴打你地話而家點算好?我應該唔聲唔聲炒左個菲傭定點?」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAKXK5MIzfcB
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAuD8kslA7xL
看罷我第一個感覺是,這篇帖主要是發泄對老婆不滿多於關心阿仔同菲傭有沒有扑野,不過他確實寫得真的幾新奇又過癮,加上標題也吸引人的眼球,所以得到不少回覆:1232Please respect copyright.PENANANAuqxeA1YZ
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAuOOskKi2A2
「或者你個仔戴Condom打飛機呢?唔洗緊張喎。(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAlikVjCH8hM
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAvc4vEuPqM0
「應該係你第二個人格好撚鐘意食朱古力,所以偷偷地襯你訓著走去搞鳩阿菲傭姐姐啊(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAF8TtiTapFO
1232Please respect copyright.PENANASScCF4UzEh
「Fight Club!(NAME:快樂殺人狂)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAWzhevj4ykq
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA7ykCirRFnZ
「其實呢……無圖好難討論既,我識面相,可以幫你睇下佢個樣有無扑過野既跡象。(NAME:蘇民鋒)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAenH6xE2p69
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAgCHxjEGRKo
「屌你老母仆街仔,賓妹都岩?(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnUz6rzF3Vy
1232Please respect copyright.PENANACYR99FrVeJ
「其實賓妹真係好熱情,又乜撚都玩得,打真軍又得,後花園又玩得,識玩一定玩賓妹(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAMcd8swLnaS
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAlHvTJxeWCJ
「賓妹都有打手!?(NAME:K.Leo)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAboVdRkI9Uc
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAQLFo4LnMM1
「我覺得依條友應該真係屌過囉(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAoVNCWSMq6w
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAU7qgmwMGno
「樓主有無考慮過同個仔玩3P?(NAME:龍王哥)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAbF6M2PEbj5
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAbMX9Kc9e3E
「賓妹唔係人啊?賓妹對波唔係波啊?圖呢!仆街!(NAME:簫風)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAARIwLDWyDL
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAg6zgd861cm
「簫風巴打真係痴撚線,連賓妹都唔放過,果然係我地戒J界既典範(NAME:無各)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAUOUysqpmeS
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAmJsv29Qf15
「依個Post好明顯係黑暗戒J界既陰謀,想引一眾巴打一展龍威……1232Please respect copyright.PENANA51WVvAjVeD
Btw睇完篇野硬左,我係咪唔正常?(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAcoNx3hkclL
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAmLBaDsvFSO
「認真既巴打,我覺得你應該同老婆商量下先,依個係一個好嚴重既問題。(NAME:無名)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAGrX33WkkT8
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA9ijQwcB6vd
「大波賓妹,嘔(NAME:津巴布偉富豪)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANA6PTbEUBokk
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAl4Pr9EtHKu
「成班大驚小怪,同賓妹扑野成撚日都會有架啦,我勸樓主咪鳩搞得太大啊,一陣比佢告鳩你個仔強姦你就仆街喇(NAME:VitoCorleone)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANA3JwQAgDyHG
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAnYC0aTWw9J
「其實咁既,我覺得係你份人比較小氣加埋有幻覺姐,最可以幫到你既係醫生,而唔係巴別塔啊。(NAME:叉雞飯)」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAVgq2HTYJDz
1232Please respect copyright.PENANA1u0bWIodKt
「首先我無可能貼一個同自己個仔扑過野既菲傭上黎,其次,我唔係痴左線,我好肯定真係親眼見到個Condom……」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAMF4qSKHKX0
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAWeBO5D2oAc
看這個來自樓主的回覆不到一半,我即被現實世界的一把聲音打斷:1232Please respect copyright.PENANAodBl0DuF1v
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAZjRXlIVJmY
「Hay,ABC,得你兩個炸?」1232Please respect copyright.PENANAVRmkZWdtRQ
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAFJ899rCzAj
是四眼仔,望都不用望,單憑聲音就知道,看看時間,現在剛好是八時正,非常符合他準時的風格。1232Please respect copyright.PENANACmH2cyzwWP
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAxjMEW7Zd7l
我抬頭望向他,淡淡地回應:1232Please respect copyright.PENANA9B0XQ4oppQ
1232Please respect copyright.PENANApCiyTI1Uir
「係啊,佢地都唔知有無時間觀念既。」1232Please respect copyright.PENANARjRE3yYTTY
1232Please respect copyright.PENANANX847xDThj
Moscow killer則繼續保持沉默,觀望住我與四眼仔的對話。1232Please respect copyright.PENANAgjpx4ECoSW
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAV5oR1Li59D
四眼仔聽到我的回應,馬上看看自己的手提電話,打開whatsapp重新確認資訊,再回答我的問題:1232Please respect copyright.PENANAYcu1Zq2SZS
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAyvN2Tegrtt
「唔係啊,佢地話一早到左等緊你地喎。」1232Please respect copyright.PENANASSnRcfaywL
1232Please respect copyright.PENANANbkQhvoZb0
我左望右望,都不見其他人,垃圾筒裡都完全不見超級駭客的蹤影,於是反問四眼仔:1232Please respect copyright.PENANAjwW2kROvAC
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAv21HUT9rL0
「下?咁佢地而家係邊?」1232Please respect copyright.PENANA16Lq3z84co
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAd4plMaAZul
這個時候,Moscow killer居然主動插話:「唔通……」1232Please respect copyright.PENANArzgbtCr2Ib
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAC1EpUTyBV7
1232Please respect copyright.PENANAAny4Xz6ftf
我與四眼仔立即望向他,期待一個不可思議的答案……1232Please respect copyright.PENANAhNnF8eMesj
1232Please respect copyright.PENANABFi4jCeIon
1232Please respect copyright.PENANACjM2WJrczF



