無驚無險,又到六時半,在不知不覺之間,我已經逛了巴別塔近五個小時之多,中途不論仆街TB,超級駭客,甚至乎飛機頭都沒有進過來接近我房間一帶的地方。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAy90rKQkcW7
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwierBxd9Vi
就似是上天也感受到今晚將會發生一場暴風……所以特別為我準備一段漫長平靜一樣。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAjjyeztb4kk
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAUvPB07BQVz
經過今次長時間的詳細巡察,我才發現巴別塔有一個重大問題,就是分區問題,目前巴別塔就只有主討論區:【巴別塔討論區】,以及其分區:【巴別塔App談天區】。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAZuGXUH0eYx
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAraCyFssOeT
在區域上,我參考了埃利都的做法,就是談天區的所有帖子都能在主討論區看得到,相反談天區就只能看到自己區內的帖子,以方便會員尋帖及增加每個帖的觀看率。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAPdznWvb2c8
1053Please respect copyright.PENANApFWXCXYwUA
細心觀察下,首先巴別塔的人流已經上升到「一個不錯的水平」,帖子變得多元化是必定的,其次帖子的流動也變得急速,因此要找到某個帖子有時也是不容易的事。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAGHWmsKfO6n
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA39ZF4LsF0J
毫無疑問,現在是擴展的好時機,多開幾個分區對會員來說也算是個不錯的消息。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAl9VoqTIMdf
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAyEiy9FksOF
但過多的分區又會使會員分散,所以這個舉動我必須慎重地決定。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAxGlSO1vvUL
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA9k9tw8a95Z
1053Please respect copyright.PENANACSTxMBi1hy
想到這裡,開往香港仔的巴士已經到達,我跟著大堆社會的齒輪上到一個奸商所製的超細罐頭裡。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAAgphK06OJk
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAGZqu5xJiXy
車上的人多得過份,而且非常擠逼,搞得身為堂堂巴別塔創造主的本人像條誤闖沙甸魚群的海豚一樣,真失禮。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAAFGuk7dKXB
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAqv6L9khdWp
一上到車,所有人都各自瞬速找個位置坐下,好死不死,到我選位的時候就只剩下兩個「關愛座」……1053Please respect copyright.PENANAE9pxZ61rjv
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAQ95lZ1jFqZ
不知是哪個屎忽鬼想出這種鬼主意,明明只要有心,個個都是關愛座,為什麼要搞出這種特權意味甚重的「關愛座」啊?1053Please respect copyright.PENANATNEwdLv7S4
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA9lPHtysSlW
唉……算,一句到尾,現在這個時候究竟叫我坐還是不坐好?1053Please respect copyright.PENANAODIcn1wDa2
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAUF3FxExIzJ
考慮不夠四分一秒,一個龐大的身影在我旁邊閃過,二話不說就坐落我的兩個其中一個目標上,然後以滿口鄉音的廣東話大聲說:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwlSabkRJLi
1053Please respect copyright.PENANABlvAlQ4IJ7
「阿霞!依度重有位啊!」1053Please respect copyright.PENANA0b0qS3pF63
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAX7UkPkie4o
她說完這話,我望一望她,是一個臉部肌肉已習慣黑面的疑似師奶物體,應她的召喚,一名微胖的中年女性忽然出現,二話不說就將我撞開,一下坐到另一個「關愛座」。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAoATgatBMv9
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAN1ZJTsXFss
二人半眼都沒看過我,完全把我當成透明,將搶位置的事當成理所當然一樣,愉快地開始自己的話題:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAjFJOp1jxUe
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAB2Dt5lX7EY
「嘩,馨姐,真係唔該哂你啊!你真係快手既姐!」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAy3d6KKqhBk
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAG2dZ8waT7B
我亦無謂站著阻到後面魚貫而進的其他乘客,快快走進後面的深處找個位置站好。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAkNONbjCpTK
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAeM7tmTzICh
可是兩個阿姐的閒談響遍全車,聽來實在比地盤噪音更令人心煩:1053Please respect copyright.PENANA6VRTu4zu4M
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwgFJvgR0Sv
「哎喲,唔好咁講,係喇,你知唔知之後阿蓮佢啊……」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwyqWgmS8DR
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAunB2UfeYKr
「才!咪係度講埋依D野啦!」1053Please respect copyright.PENANANBgpu5z2O9
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAaSXRGxn0ZN
「Black top blazin', hometown fadin'1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbxxm3r1yqi
Out of sight in the rear view mirror1053Please respect copyright.PENANA0CNnSy1IJI
Stevie Ray blasting on the radio1053Please respect copyright.PENANAruZgN7NN1B
As I slam it into higher gear」1053Please respect copyright.PENANA4ARsLGKWhK
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAfNZnxR9KfR
當然兩位阿姐不會忽然說起英文來,這是我為了逃避兩隻怪物噪音而戴上耳筒所聽到的歌曲。1053Please respect copyright.PENANArjxyKHhkdo
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAKbXTCBioSa
不久,巴士也上滿人了。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAE3No8waEJs
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAa0jPhJaXUj
它立即開動,啟程將我帶到籬漫著迷離黑霧的神祕島——鴨利洲,對岸一個叫香港仔的地方。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAODfQSfmvDU
1053Please respect copyright.PENANASf27cMj58u
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAKKyakutm4q
經過了廿幾個站的旅程,加上中間路況不算暢順,讓我花了足足近四十分鐘才到達目的地。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAGXbgAZTz4j
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAJc0YfraoUq
香港仔這個地方我來過好多次,其實細妹之前也提過,就是因為我有個住鴨利洲的姑媽。1053Please respect copyright.PENANA93dyw6pT3y
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA0jt4JoHtvl
姑媽,即是我老豆的家姐,相比老母那邊的超級大家族,老豆的可說是非常迷你,只有三兄弟姊妹,姑媽最大,老豆排第二,下面還有個姑姐。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAcswzMYIhu6
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAGuGgc1JnvM
整體來說,我對這邊的親戚並沒什麼反感,至少他們都很識做,新年利是夠大封,又不會問三問四,點到即止。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAc9JGgkSy9X
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAYWffgHUaKt
而老母那邊……唉,不說了,反正只是題外話,而且一個十二兄弟姊妹連帶無數表親的巨型家族,我保證當中的八卦是複雜得任何人都不想去理解的。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAeLmrNIjKNz
1053Please respect copyright.PENANADIBfAOPETO
除非我是某個大集團家族的富二代,或是將前額剃光,變成某個清朝的皇族吧。1053Please respect copyright.PENANA2aLTT1DPEQ
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAOyhAjSsdZo
說來有點離題了,也許我應該說回姑媽的事。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAvXepQJpnFy
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAStITzUPfww
別與老母那邊的親戚相比,單單與其他我遇過的所有人相比,姑媽肯定在我頭十個最尊敬的人當中佔一席位。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAyNE9RgN30g
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA0cw4COPAiO
她是個了不起的女人,在擁有不錯的事業同時,也擁有美滿的家庭,兩個兒子在她教育下,都有著不錯的成就,而且為人大方,每年新年給我的利是都大封得很。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAmPjoaYRDek
1053Please respect copyright.PENANApTb7kznL09
但我已經好幾年沒見過她,也沒有收到大大封的利是,原因很簡單,因為她已經病死了。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAMbCQlDARP2
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA9CCHOGeVD5
隨她去世後,她的大兒子音訊全無,聽說不知去了哪裡流浪。而小兒子則娶了個日本妹,與姑丈移民到日本開始新生活,她本人就選擇了海葬,隨海水遊遍世界。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAhbbLjl9Iki
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA45F1nAbI87
所以現在留在鴨利洲的,除了一些回憶外,就只剩下他們曾住過的單位。如非南華早報的事,我接下來的人生,大概都不會再踏足這個地方。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAWEsFtAVys1
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAHpBIINnlch
在回想這些事情的期間,時間已來到下午七時五十三分,而我在南記總店大門已等了差不多十分鐘,第一個巴別塔光明會的成員終於出現在我眼前,他就是Moscow killer,對他的外表,我還是只有「平凡」兩字可說。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAvQptjKmJZC
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAC2CGqCnTg2
由於大部份溝通上的工作都是由四眼仔負責,作為巴別塔創造主的本人,理所當然就只是負責決策。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAi5v8R14spD
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAyc3apHzC4Z
因此,一直以來,我對於巴別塔光明會成員的溝通都只局限於「有意義」的內容,簡單點來說,我們之間其實絕少,不,應該是根本完全沒有閒談。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAYfRNCH2Fqm
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAUAlTqt0F3h
所以這一刻,我們見面後除了簡單打個招呼,就什麼都沒有說了,然後沉默地並站在南記的門口,等待其他成員。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAVFnvZTNkIj
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwAtEbafdAa
見一時沒事做,我打開IPhone,看看巴別塔有沒有什麼有趣的東西看看。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAhJCAFAWs5I
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAgAGiEnQdqk
結果,馬上就找到一個覺得挺有趣的帖子,標題是『[認真非吹水]我懷疑自己個仔同菲傭發生左肉體關係』,隨帖更附上一幅X凱琪的相片,讓我非常不爭氣地笑了。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAd4hQn1TxFk
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAIkuSpTgMm6
按下『reply』將帖子展開,內容如下:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAr8k3mYLLLd
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAUycNA2IE6Z
「(NAME:鐵血外交官)1053Please respect copyright.PENANAuYVjnHlGKC
是咁的,由於差唔多一年前果時,我老婆又開始返工,無乜時間做屋企野,一家三口,成間屋最常出現既就得我果個十五歲半既仔。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAdzGuyYyITV
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwzO3tT5TCI
老老實實你叫佢得閒煮下飯,照顧下自己都還可以,但要個思春期既靚仔幫你做家務,我好清楚根本就係天荒夜談!1053Please respect copyright.PENANA67ZktOJ3Y8
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAmhuJOZD0N1
所以唯一會惦掃把既我同老婆就成日為左家務既事鬧交。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAg7xbLVwiiw
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAfr7jaoMQhd
我老婆可能因為係公司受左d壓力,所以成日返到黎見到間屋有少少亂就對住我同個仔閪口閪面,又比說話我地聽,三日唔埋兩日就鬧交,搞到成日家嘈屋閉。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAYM8jewcCiq
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAKiR1rMYIpa
於是我見屋企有D錢剩,個仔成日食公仔麵又好似唔係好健康,就把心一橫請左個菲傭返黎。1053Please respect copyright.PENANABCg9TcX0VX
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAe7GMr1irc9
可能男人天性係咸濕D,所以我下意識揀左個睇落幾大波又後生(當然唔只大波,睇紀錄知佢手腳乾淨,做野又快又熟手又勤力先揀佢架炸)既菲傭返黎。1053Please respect copyright.PENANA0Q9qcwLPnM
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAf5BA1pPjcS
點知佢第一日黎到,我即刻眼都凸埋,屌你佢對波簡直大鳩到痴撚線,阿叔見慣唔少大場面,但都忍唔住吞左幾啖口水。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAiBxbdb391M
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAFyB82QxtOi
不過算,我好清楚自己唔鐘意食朱古力,見佢又勤力又有禮貌就由得佢啦(無可能因為個菲傭太大波所以炒佢架嘛),咪比次機會人囉。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAirLu88DpcV
1053Please respect copyright.PENANADhMJAswLEU
咁佢做到而家一直都無乜問題,老婆又煩少左,日日返到屋企有飯食,就結果黎講都幾完滿啊。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAh83cmPBdLH
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAxGbIX3seJq
點知我琴晚半夜屙尿既時候發現有個Condom係馬桶入面,應該係上一手無留意沖唔走。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbhwDAT6des
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAmol3P6SzQJ
全間屋得兩個男人,咪話我先入為主,我有無扑過野我自己最清楚啦。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAc0cVQaokKg
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA7NBapHftQJ
咁係我好肯定自己無扑過野既前題下,你話個Condom係邊個留低既,無論如果我都只諗到一個人,就係個衰仔……1053Please respect copyright.PENANAsHkkjrh6Fn
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAVJwN27LDFA
雖然鐵證如山,但我依然選擇呃自己其實琴晚係發夢,不過今朝食早餐既時候我先發現原來阿仔份早餐大份過我(明明我得一隻蛋,但佢有兩隻),佢又成日對住個菲傭笑笑口,舊朱古力又同佢打左個眼色,好明顯就有路啦!1053Please respect copyright.PENANAoq7SQErBDM
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAj0OAg8YEJw
各位巴打你地話而家點算好?我應該唔聲唔聲炒左個菲傭定點?」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAe6SJvpz14d
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA5rT7qc6aG8
看罷我第一個感覺是,這篇帖主要是發泄對老婆不滿多於關心阿仔同菲傭有沒有扑野,不過他確實寫得真的幾新奇又過癮,加上標題也吸引人的眼球,所以得到不少回覆:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwhgg8iTpUa
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAAXvOvZd82d
「或者你個仔戴Condom打飛機呢?唔洗緊張喎。(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAxmapVbgeG7
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAPxOREX3L9G
「應該係你第二個人格好撚鐘意食朱古力,所以偷偷地襯你訓著走去搞鳩阿菲傭姐姐啊(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANADZii2tD0HV
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA9iJEqNbveh
「Fight Club!(NAME:快樂殺人狂)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAYMsEYy8h8H
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAoL8bOthyXl
「其實呢……無圖好難討論既,我識面相,可以幫你睇下佢個樣有無扑過野既跡象。(NAME:蘇民鋒)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANArxrJErSSfL
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAy8fcGAq2Qa
「屌你老母仆街仔,賓妹都岩?(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwBkquWqdIl
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAzBQLA1J2CP
「其實賓妹真係好熱情,又乜撚都玩得,打真軍又得,後花園又玩得,識玩一定玩賓妹(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANABRQ6p7YRkv
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAN7eDXvHSry
「賓妹都有打手!?(NAME:K.Leo)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAp6MXgkldic
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAAF7T8IJ8l2
「我覺得依條友應該真係屌過囉(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANA3NA44Vy58l
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAVVA5IXKRXH
「樓主有無考慮過同個仔玩3P?(NAME:龍王哥)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAkNysafz1Lb
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAuDWmF0I68y
「賓妹唔係人啊?賓妹對波唔係波啊?圖呢!仆街!(NAME:簫風)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANA5s9TyNcbuY
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAARTxAzaSXL
「簫風巴打真係痴撚線,連賓妹都唔放過,果然係我地戒J界既典範(NAME:無各)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbwPz9Xa1fo
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAoLPuYWgJt8
「依個Post好明顯係黑暗戒J界既陰謀,想引一眾巴打一展龍威……1053Please respect copyright.PENANAVo36EsWLF0
Btw睇完篇野硬左,我係咪唔正常?(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAB0XEWz3O4y
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAHkACrmAR4l
「認真既巴打,我覺得你應該同老婆商量下先,依個係一個好嚴重既問題。(NAME:無名)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANA9HCCw62QRM
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA58M0a4Y3Oa
「大波賓妹,嘔(NAME:津巴布偉富豪)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAEbn0YIb07Y
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbafav9KEyF
「成班大驚小怪,同賓妹扑野成撚日都會有架啦,我勸樓主咪鳩搞得太大啊,一陣比佢告鳩你個仔強姦你就仆街喇(NAME:VitoCorleone)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbhm6iRpIDf
1053Please respect copyright.PENANANlDFIiA13Q
「其實咁既,我覺得係你份人比較小氣加埋有幻覺姐,最可以幫到你既係醫生,而唔係巴別塔啊。(NAME:叉雞飯)」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAa0g185N8e4
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAoNNoR2Bo0s
「首先我無可能貼一個同自己個仔扑過野既菲傭上黎,其次,我唔係痴左線,我好肯定真係親眼見到個Condom……」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAN7BdWqM9KV
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAfcDT4sIgmF
看這個來自樓主的回覆不到一半,我即被現實世界的一把聲音打斷:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAU1jEDAKGup
1053Please respect copyright.PENANADeJu1Q0UsY
「Hay,ABC,得你兩個炸?」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAZ595UBRexD
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAajr36LHt96
是四眼仔,望都不用望,單憑聲音就知道,看看時間,現在剛好是八時正,非常符合他準時的風格。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAuO6q9MZ9mH
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAFsNV66dn1S
我抬頭望向他,淡淡地回應:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAFOl6rpYXdA
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAaJTO4JMA1Q
「係啊,佢地都唔知有無時間觀念既。」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAxI0rP70lJP
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAv38FBqAitO
Moscow killer則繼續保持沉默,觀望住我與四眼仔的對話。1053Please respect copyright.PENANAx21EnsF6GO
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAGAavPByrTr
四眼仔聽到我的回應,馬上看看自己的手提電話,打開whatsapp重新確認資訊,再回答我的問題:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAWAyVVB37xy
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAyNDUTZEvIi
「唔係啊,佢地話一早到左等緊你地喎。」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAbOwqKYRBBc
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAwL2DGUfsP1
我左望右望,都不見其他人,垃圾筒裡都完全不見超級駭客的蹤影,於是反問四眼仔:1053Please respect copyright.PENANAHZwccPaAU9
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAEJKDGwc5MV
「下?咁佢地而家係邊?」1053Please respect copyright.PENANATghMb5Wfh9
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA7BnmDt0P2f
這個時候,Moscow killer居然主動插話:「唔通……」1053Please respect copyright.PENANAiL929U0y8V
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAThho1EylkI
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAVdW5plSedU
我與四眼仔立即望向他,期待一個不可思議的答案……1053Please respect copyright.PENANA3TdRAOjkyT
1053Please respect copyright.PENANAef44Iz2YXk
1053Please respect copyright.PENANA2EuBs6aWxm