796Please respect copyright.PENANAxFi62xENUD
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……796Please respect copyright.PENANAhP48XLPNY5
796Please respect copyright.PENANAbwcbGNjc4u
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?796Please respect copyright.PENANAtIC7bdBgAx
796Please respect copyright.PENANAy29cmsNecD
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!796Please respect copyright.PENANAMhT1Cn08hm
796Please respect copyright.PENANAGxaqp0gG8N
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。796Please respect copyright.PENANABGWtnIM84J
796Please respect copyright.PENANA9eBiWUJKaS
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……796Please respect copyright.PENANATb84Fc50hE
796Please respect copyright.PENANAOMSvVfvUEH
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?796Please respect copyright.PENANAghbKKiOR8c
796Please respect copyright.PENANARBm5kr1QZ6
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAjbC8cf6779
796Please respect copyright.PENANAyOHGURMIqv
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。796Please respect copyright.PENANA7zWOmeq1Hp
796Please respect copyright.PENANAcUxZVLZEAO
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」796Please respect copyright.PENANABROK9FWT86
796Please respect copyright.PENANAKtxhtxivti
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。796Please respect copyright.PENANAgNqjXERLox
796Please respect copyright.PENANAUMwT96QJAV
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」796Please respect copyright.PENANADT3UiVRvtN
796Please respect copyright.PENANArd8pvNJlZO
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?796Please respect copyright.PENANAEFi4DV9JX6
796Please respect copyright.PENANAvNDsTgita5
796Please respect copyright.PENANAgRRWlxd3wP
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……796Please respect copyright.PENANADSfLKW3Kwl
796Please respect copyright.PENANA7sRZk6G9uB
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAGMQ1f5HPZ9
796Please respect copyright.PENANAyaQlukcy6u
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。796Please respect copyright.PENANAxICHyTlnUJ
796Please respect copyright.PENANAD7nmrg3bMz
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。796Please respect copyright.PENANAPS0RTMoD3w
796Please respect copyright.PENANAoDbYQztvJw
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」796Please respect copyright.PENANAi6x0Wdkboj
796Please respect copyright.PENANAYPFjbwBTJp
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」796Please respect copyright.PENANA3drZLwxgXI
796Please respect copyright.PENANAXceaxE4yuj
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」796Please respect copyright.PENANAjFR1DzCHH3
796Please respect copyright.PENANAZAT6ghe7fz
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAsSD1LxUcV5
796Please respect copyright.PENANAGVteCgCIkz
「去邊?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAwHM6rxu3CB
796Please respect copyright.PENANAYtSA6p6TBj
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAbL0LsN7bfV
796Please respect copyright.PENANATUylvPuVan
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----796Please respect copyright.PENANAY6Or4NLFIk
796Please respect copyright.PENANAST5H6o0Rjw
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?796Please respect copyright.PENANAW2QzI0criU
796Please respect copyright.PENANAgpRMzrYTED
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……796Please respect copyright.PENANA4J1saXW7Kx
796Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4em3JhlyQ
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。796Please respect copyright.PENANAucxZSB4Wr1
796Please respect copyright.PENANAhMUtM9zsfi
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANAwtzGn5vfYE
796Please respect copyright.PENANAF7Wdo2pbOW
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANAUfTixFKRan
796Please respect copyright.PENANAjnBYiO46XY
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANA9wCr4l3kwL
796Please respect copyright.PENANAgFdgBruis8
我的Account仍存在嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANA6SFUeXXEHn
796Please respect copyright.PENANARXNUlV7vR2
一切有意義嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANArFgAzReSVs
796Please respect copyright.PENANAFpkH6kBxHM
如果沒有的話,796Please respect copyright.PENANAHW8kp6iN5P
796Please respect copyright.PENANAvOLfnLLrAJ
我為什麼要活下去……?796Please respect copyright.PENANAIf5CwMzNg6
796Please respect copyright.PENANAlMLHEBo2Ph
如果我硬要活下去,796Please respect copyright.PENANAqPJ6nvHzJN
796Please respect copyright.PENANAj5Dg9ea681
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?796Please respect copyright.PENANAf2YJPh3zfj
796Please respect copyright.PENANAcPQXoATDVB
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……796Please respect copyright.PENANAllhMLoAsC6
796Please respect copyright.PENANAgA8VEx3ZdT
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……796Please respect copyright.PENANASzQJnKjfea
796Please respect copyright.PENANAmyf3s7feWj
又如果……796Please respect copyright.PENANAfG5exhRgG1
796Please respect copyright.PENANARxqfuPbczC
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……796Please respect copyright.PENANAoPJgjLTbAk
796Please respect copyright.PENANAOEr96xspuX
796Please respect copyright.PENANAYeCyHD31OM
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。796Please respect copyright.PENANANex5Q8q5le
796Please respect copyright.PENANA3aydGKwYWY
796Please respect copyright.PENANA4YxfKvGLIF
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。796Please respect copyright.PENANAhZhc0k6ioH
796Please respect copyright.PENANACbQT8oT5jj
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。796Please respect copyright.PENANA4jeldQMu3s
796Please respect copyright.PENANA7IqYtWz4pt
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。796Please respect copyright.PENANAgtaHaJaiae
796Please respect copyright.PENANASHMhJpcWxG
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。796Please respect copyright.PENANAeTVtnLPLKn
796Please respect copyright.PENANAP8xWJFDReI
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。796Please respect copyright.PENANAPwIZr5M0Sh
796Please respect copyright.PENANA1BCooMYXNZ
796Please respect copyright.PENANA9nmZJYNdsl
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?796Please respect copyright.PENANAarMRAZXkNP
796Please respect copyright.PENANAtRFH5ru2q8
屌你老母!796Please respect copyright.PENANA47vvrEyMjv
796Please respect copyright.PENANA7c7y9HVqXR
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……796Please respect copyright.PENANAii6JPjxbAF
796Please respect copyright.PENANAmsaBWaBly2
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。796Please respect copyright.PENANAzsO3Y5654C
796Please respect copyright.PENANAU1kHRuyI86
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAJn4wtA62eN
796Please respect copyright.PENANAFA7tjN8spp
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAlIBAegHQ7U
796Please respect copyright.PENANAKk46ENW7z8
「Let Fuck!Go!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAYKP3WHv0k6
796Please respect copyright.PENANAc5kpO2GLSq
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。796Please respect copyright.PENANAcHSDrtoPhN
796Please respect copyright.PENANATf2nscWlm6
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAPLPT1RQ7Bx
796Please respect copyright.PENANA1VizSmfqyH
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。796Please respect copyright.PENANAMjCgpSZ6Ft
796Please respect copyright.PENANA4O99Hsr1fG
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAHHMs3ZJ6JI
796Please respect copyright.PENANAN1vwAZx0M1
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。796Please respect copyright.PENANAcGSaarFWnF
796Please respect copyright.PENANAubqcRyDTQp
「做乜先?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAifBhCjiXyP
796Please respect copyright.PENANAY919R4Q2Qc
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。796Please respect copyright.PENANAQEsXI46TcL
796Please respect copyright.PENANAalI4djUuja
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAdQkBXsr3j3
796Please respect copyright.PENANAQFkMaETUXD
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」796Please respect copyright.PENANAaKwLTdwwaK
796Please respect copyright.PENANA8lvinhPTZk
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」796Please respect copyright.PENANAV1KNPLmYz7
796Please respect copyright.PENANAFFjoyYAVqg
796Please respect copyright.PENANAFfqVbQ13o8
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……796Please respect copyright.PENANAmDfw8dmLPg
796Please respect copyright.PENANAnkLTvPvF3J
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。796Please respect copyright.PENANAcFILRlVFVq
796Please respect copyright.PENANA0LH8OMXLK0
共濟會?有什麼關係?796Please respect copyright.PENANAyom8S1SFnI
796Please respect copyright.PENANAmb2MCbBybv
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
796Please respect copyright.PENANAJed0ohjPYd
796Please respect copyright.PENANABtIZOONR9S