823Please respect copyright.PENANAEph1eZCe58
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……823Please respect copyright.PENANAtfw3JRTJYm
823Please respect copyright.PENANArFJZeFDY7i
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?823Please respect copyright.PENANA5kcljadWo4
823Please respect copyright.PENANA2IwKyemwGY
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!823Please respect copyright.PENANAvunBP4vzSX
823Please respect copyright.PENANAfz8LTpKlaW
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。823Please respect copyright.PENANA3SPcwAXi1F
823Please respect copyright.PENANAFn9VXwOAE7
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……823Please respect copyright.PENANA9VSRHXArTE
823Please respect copyright.PENANA5WbEYRlzY6
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?823Please respect copyright.PENANA06aEPECW5s
823Please respect copyright.PENANAtrOh4TAkvp
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」823Please respect copyright.PENANA00UuYrJ1TL
823Please respect copyright.PENANAU0zvdVd7q4
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。823Please respect copyright.PENANAH8poWL5VFb
823Please respect copyright.PENANA3loRgMh5IF
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAe8wHgT2e09
823Please respect copyright.PENANA9F5sfowv2a
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。823Please respect copyright.PENANADPJXlBFtIr
823Please respect copyright.PENANAWN5eKYJRNj
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」823Please respect copyright.PENANAsL4RGbJ3Vz
823Please respect copyright.PENANAQPsLz40r1C
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?823Please respect copyright.PENANAbXMXqmirb3
823Please respect copyright.PENANAGQ9W2mXP3S
823Please respect copyright.PENANAIDZXFegyCr
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……823Please respect copyright.PENANAjSraEoo88Z
823Please respect copyright.PENANACXZXA9I3aS
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAP6UfBA06xs
823Please respect copyright.PENANAbibmGnOkSg
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。823Please respect copyright.PENANAz1vcXAN2dW
823Please respect copyright.PENANAlzU9s5CTWI
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。823Please respect copyright.PENANAFv8DfyhPat
823Please respect copyright.PENANASCvNwWxt5x
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」823Please respect copyright.PENANAR1dPB1Wi5S
823Please respect copyright.PENANAAxH2PqMLxk
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」823Please respect copyright.PENANA8i3UndIWEx
823Please respect copyright.PENANAT5BYKeoqUg
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」823Please respect copyright.PENANAOsfqljEjAD
823Please respect copyright.PENANAfPhyPSjQsT
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAHfS5kqev28
823Please respect copyright.PENANAPVEfcEUHGZ
「去邊?」823Please respect copyright.PENANA0FlK8f6It8
823Please respect copyright.PENANAfakzx7zAj5
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」823Please respect copyright.PENANA8J0dI7LnhI
823Please respect copyright.PENANAyx9u290kzm
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----823Please respect copyright.PENANAJPw2vfDhlL
823Please respect copyright.PENANAzXDP8twp0j
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?823Please respect copyright.PENANAt6DhPW9udh
823Please respect copyright.PENANAKwL4XGpXxb
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……823Please respect copyright.PENANAdRVjEh8PBW
823Please respect copyright.PENANAjjCWO9G6NE
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。823Please respect copyright.PENANASiUT7A0EQs
823Please respect copyright.PENANArSFhKG6Opk
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANAWfmNDMI3Z7
823Please respect copyright.PENANAFm9jyq9JTL
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANA4gGxTrhDmF
823Please respect copyright.PENANA2h23ayqkAk
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANAZpa9OQ75Yp
823Please respect copyright.PENANAxxEC0Ccz9Q
我的Account仍存在嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANAhk2VeFnmJk
823Please respect copyright.PENANAoprZytDIru
一切有意義嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANAhOARq3QNFd
823Please respect copyright.PENANAe3nFMSQQYo
如果沒有的話,823Please respect copyright.PENANA0EKvmxuZzC
823Please respect copyright.PENANAA8MVhaFo6d
我為什麼要活下去……?823Please respect copyright.PENANAThg671iC4H
823Please respect copyright.PENANAottwTfq2cw
如果我硬要活下去,823Please respect copyright.PENANAYkaM9l5jnd
823Please respect copyright.PENANAXFovkieN7p
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?823Please respect copyright.PENANAHShNE5pG6s
823Please respect copyright.PENANAr8OkREjhoR
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……823Please respect copyright.PENANAWfHwhiOhoY
823Please respect copyright.PENANAipoWej85un
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……823Please respect copyright.PENANALwvImjHFW1
823Please respect copyright.PENANA4IxFffxa4m
又如果……823Please respect copyright.PENANAwvvzTHAxYS
823Please respect copyright.PENANAnyWf4FkEVD
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……823Please respect copyright.PENANAGoaOMv3iTl
823Please respect copyright.PENANAB7ugR2rKpM
823Please respect copyright.PENANAjm4cqInKJR
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。823Please respect copyright.PENANAbjmPn1NcWl
823Please respect copyright.PENANA2PH6hvMJbL
823Please respect copyright.PENANAaseiCkF395
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。823Please respect copyright.PENANA5DTX4ewXrN
823Please respect copyright.PENANATOoj1aM09Y
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。823Please respect copyright.PENANAFHs2bOzpkZ
823Please respect copyright.PENANAOTKxt3ErZ6
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。823Please respect copyright.PENANAwdl4sniDzc
823Please respect copyright.PENANAHlcnCnwdbF
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。823Please respect copyright.PENANAjcCMs7uGE8
823Please respect copyright.PENANAEUccyZjHnS
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。823Please respect copyright.PENANAbl2tKQwwr9
823Please respect copyright.PENANA4cd7tZdg85
823Please respect copyright.PENANAC3wzQaWPVY
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?823Please respect copyright.PENANAPYaXJiLiua
823Please respect copyright.PENANAmTrGynVI74
屌你老母!823Please respect copyright.PENANAaeWFGJR2QG
823Please respect copyright.PENANA6lb0XVfTcz
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……823Please respect copyright.PENANANmbRJWSOvp
823Please respect copyright.PENANAUMy4d17Qrf
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。823Please respect copyright.PENANAL2h5kq19xL
823Please respect copyright.PENANAyil8k6RKfP
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」823Please respect copyright.PENANAJm1FqgP7zZ
823Please respect copyright.PENANAq3hDDLeg04
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAWuH8V9Thww
823Please respect copyright.PENANAvgrebj66Xj
「Let Fuck!Go!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAVyaLBt9euh
823Please respect copyright.PENANA5ApznGOWem
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。823Please respect copyright.PENANABZTmQkPQe0
823Please respect copyright.PENANAgabgpHGbGL
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」823Please respect copyright.PENANAmopo6NB69e
823Please respect copyright.PENANAQxnTgLzjkj
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。823Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9gtUhuuba
823Please respect copyright.PENANAG9tb5SwJOG
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4j6Zwi6EF
823Please respect copyright.PENANAHVsun5nEND
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。823Please respect copyright.PENANAgiYvodGVJg
823Please respect copyright.PENANAyYZEIaP1Dy
「做乜先?」823Please respect copyright.PENANAupn6FXgGld
823Please respect copyright.PENANAkFJsDtH5SX
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。823Please respect copyright.PENANA9DkTkf0FBq
823Please respect copyright.PENANACFVSMobLhc
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」823Please respect copyright.PENANAVjenGQ6kLc
823Please respect copyright.PENANAEDVAv6EMKp
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」823Please respect copyright.PENANAsYbKU5uHKz
823Please respect copyright.PENANADUkksqWwXz
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」823Please respect copyright.PENANASgcN8o7cOs
823Please respect copyright.PENANAu5U0s7iXcX
823Please respect copyright.PENANANh3INSkpV0
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……823Please respect copyright.PENANAaTtTi3nGU5
823Please respect copyright.PENANAIa07SGtKL3
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。823Please respect copyright.PENANA243p0X7zQX
823Please respect copyright.PENANAFQeiRxQVub
共濟會?有什麼關係?823Please respect copyright.PENANAlW4JylqwYZ
823Please respect copyright.PENANAN06yrJ8pXm
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
823Please respect copyright.PENANAStopO4uXkx
823Please respect copyright.PENANAFrgVzvFUu9