650Please respect copyright.PENANAhdhFsS2oUN
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……650Please respect copyright.PENANAXHL4KQRwgf
650Please respect copyright.PENANA1m2t83d97y
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?650Please respect copyright.PENANAuP6MzXJylW
650Please respect copyright.PENANAi8jasDnL52
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!650Please respect copyright.PENANAAzWeuuyArg
650Please respect copyright.PENANAlOxsOzdeQv
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。650Please respect copyright.PENANA2LuCC6w7Cm
650Please respect copyright.PENANASPFhDyRYpM
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……650Please respect copyright.PENANAIzi2f3QsNh
650Please respect copyright.PENANAYQ3lR8D8Ty
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?650Please respect copyright.PENANAraWzfSilCp
650Please respect copyright.PENANATgeKo7fQ6M
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」650Please respect copyright.PENANA4X1DOfCuRA
650Please respect copyright.PENANAnR37yESQeM
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。650Please respect copyright.PENANASiAr62uHPY
650Please respect copyright.PENANAzZm6MuFe4q
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAASVAb5tnR4
650Please respect copyright.PENANAonZNmWEOCL
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。650Please respect copyright.PENANA51jf3UkbJh
650Please respect copyright.PENANAAht1oOIVvq
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」650Please respect copyright.PENANA3RQXW1MWTw
650Please respect copyright.PENANAfA25GrB3z7
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?650Please respect copyright.PENANAx3rQSZlr1m
650Please respect copyright.PENANAycNtG4Dcpj
650Please respect copyright.PENANAooNtlG5YEp
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……650Please respect copyright.PENANAabFUpGlOSG
650Please respect copyright.PENANADCBy0H62xZ
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」650Please respect copyright.PENANANmugi3ttxO
650Please respect copyright.PENANAOofiBsARDq
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。650Please respect copyright.PENANAlIeV4TzIze
650Please respect copyright.PENANAj4wDUa4saV
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。650Please respect copyright.PENANAqZonZkxYtm
650Please respect copyright.PENANAMvQt5HDJLv
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」650Please respect copyright.PENANAkYkpXKRwTl
650Please respect copyright.PENANAUYGPvDM2MW
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」650Please respect copyright.PENANAkSc3lSZogV
650Please respect copyright.PENANA3NGyQjiTCE
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」650Please respect copyright.PENANA4yMzts1jvh
650Please respect copyright.PENANAsWtNS63wsG
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAtnkBhIGNv7
650Please respect copyright.PENANApDhM2vz0BD
「去邊?」650Please respect copyright.PENANAbFVq2fjbcE
650Please respect copyright.PENANAoWs2mDrsCo
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAfpSxTu1HhD
650Please respect copyright.PENANAErADTt7cCS
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----650Please respect copyright.PENANAFi1pPfbP7d
650Please respect copyright.PENANAqHusw3zGY9
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?650Please respect copyright.PENANA7yuXFqMpkx
650Please respect copyright.PENANAiaMUXkyZNh
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……650Please respect copyright.PENANAvdNI7wpPEY
650Please respect copyright.PENANAfIMOgmBfo5
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。650Please respect copyright.PENANAKYk6354A4w
650Please respect copyright.PENANAav1ZxMaXbS
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANAWEva1Y4hbZ
650Please respect copyright.PENANAOMCBbPn2aO
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANAeMIVyPoaKa
650Please respect copyright.PENANAu7p7BVUzBA
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANAq7vv9SAgRG
650Please respect copyright.PENANAnIFFEYQIoN
我的Account仍存在嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANA4H4CPXWNfy
650Please respect copyright.PENANAIq0vtbMXG0
一切有意義嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANAxUYoilSsnn
650Please respect copyright.PENANAAYcP2yOAg0
如果沒有的話,650Please respect copyright.PENANA8mGerZbsNW
650Please respect copyright.PENANAxpy1Zij6nu
我為什麼要活下去……?650Please respect copyright.PENANAiRH4gxxjU4
650Please respect copyright.PENANAKfs9qYt9aB
如果我硬要活下去,650Please respect copyright.PENANAljSQZwAK1E
650Please respect copyright.PENANAX9B1tQ7DXc
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?650Please respect copyright.PENANAt5hWInf878
650Please respect copyright.PENANAenkm74Luhj
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……650Please respect copyright.PENANATKXNtmsYKP
650Please respect copyright.PENANAzHaNt5ujRZ
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……650Please respect copyright.PENANAFYX24knbLI
650Please respect copyright.PENANA52IVUkNvMR
又如果……650Please respect copyright.PENANAptOjB7AlWQ
650Please respect copyright.PENANAc27zM0KX7n
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……650Please respect copyright.PENANAgZ6I0fGYPW
650Please respect copyright.PENANAbrwhNDjbQi
650Please respect copyright.PENANAT50xfyBowE
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。650Please respect copyright.PENANAgAINZthTB4
650Please respect copyright.PENANAEvpUEPUB8c
650Please respect copyright.PENANAKl7NbcWpms
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。650Please respect copyright.PENANA5tH3S8pxCr
650Please respect copyright.PENANAHnIepanm0Q
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。650Please respect copyright.PENANA01CyPZFoCE
650Please respect copyright.PENANAI4dNrDQXu5
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。650Please respect copyright.PENANARJnqnzKFGG
650Please respect copyright.PENANAVmMMC5RLg1
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。650Please respect copyright.PENANA8JHvAkViGS
650Please respect copyright.PENANANZeMhYM2fK
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。650Please respect copyright.PENANAWPIV5fAMwZ
650Please respect copyright.PENANAXLa4N6aFsH
650Please respect copyright.PENANAhskJAMwp7V
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?650Please respect copyright.PENANA1BusxqGQAv
650Please respect copyright.PENANAeewtd4nglN
屌你老母!650Please respect copyright.PENANAVtvgZNGPHO
650Please respect copyright.PENANAGbdhjDjp5m
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……650Please respect copyright.PENANAe50LmnVgXl
650Please respect copyright.PENANAPPST0YOZ7x
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。650Please respect copyright.PENANAodO5yipacH
650Please respect copyright.PENANAoAIrkbRbCA
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」650Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1Z6wmC2T5
650Please respect copyright.PENANAJzZAvBZ9uA
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAiTwnyL5WVK
650Please respect copyright.PENANAxluPu3ZinF
「Let Fuck!Go!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAw8gVsCehEj
650Please respect copyright.PENANA6vy81evjnG
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。650Please respect copyright.PENANARkpCmq03Uv
650Please respect copyright.PENANAZR54YbEPYT
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」650Please respect copyright.PENANApbVQopPzrN
650Please respect copyright.PENANA9zCcov1gQP
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。650Please respect copyright.PENANAWMcNxi9zko
650Please respect copyright.PENANAjPDNYl2HAv
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」650Please respect copyright.PENANApDGXnRPAXA
650Please respect copyright.PENANAu2ufQQF0Km
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。650Please respect copyright.PENANAOZJxvncQDV
650Please respect copyright.PENANAdgL2Px26cg
「做乜先?」650Please respect copyright.PENANARfUj9mGAS4
650Please respect copyright.PENANA36mB6k8dB0
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。650Please respect copyright.PENANAUP0XodDNff
650Please respect copyright.PENANA767ge1YYjN
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」650Please respect copyright.PENANAenjX8dlEYr
650Please respect copyright.PENANAVd55AkIhv3
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」650Please respect copyright.PENANAKdyv3s6NOS
650Please respect copyright.PENANAGgVLzKrvYC
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」650Please respect copyright.PENANASp0opTEcMk
650Please respect copyright.PENANAzhndXoqa7m
650Please respect copyright.PENANAABPvodZPRY
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……650Please respect copyright.PENANAMkhUoi6HeG
650Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZiThQWI2Q
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。650Please respect copyright.PENANALFRK8hf3vv
650Please respect copyright.PENANAA3gxv0VjV0
共濟會?有什麼關係?650Please respect copyright.PENANAxof9W1gu42
650Please respect copyright.PENANAJCBf2Q7B5N
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
650Please respect copyright.PENANADcb86nrifP
650Please respect copyright.PENANAxtUmCTHpLe