1089Please respect copyright.PENANAM7LUyU2mLv
當我折返盧卡斯的狗竇時,恐怖的疲憊如潮水般向我襲來,我旋即昏死在他那浚亂不堪的床上,我有理由相信我並不是睡眠,我而是死了……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAvnquS5Gegx
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAFnOLCOLdwe
究竟睡眠和死亡有沒有分別?它們是兩種不同的生理狀態?還是互相從屬?抑或,死亡只是一種不會醒來的睡眠狀態?1089Please respect copyright.PENANADl164wPVpk
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAanU0rsIrG5
不要問我睡了多久,醒來時候,我只感覺到肉體處於完全抽離的狀態,我的意識甚至需要用十多分鐘才能回歸到肉體裏,我嘗試動動眼皮,然後我看見盧卡斯的背影,他坐在電腦前,熒光屏上是外國人的四仔畫面,盧卡斯身體在微動著,右手放到下體,不停搖動著某東西,這種姿勢我知道他在做什麼,他正在打飛機!1089Please respect copyright.PENANAHoqnTkwM3i
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA3h9So3oChj
對!一個年青人對著電腦播放的咸片打飛機!何其天經地義!但是盧卡斯竟沒有避忌蝸居裏多了另一個男人仍打飛機……由此推論,我一定睡了很久很久,時間久得他連背著我打飛機都沒有戒心。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAbgleHzqRu3
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA73EifptX4d
外國人的四仔很公式,裏面的演員都好像性愛機械人(Sex Robot)般不停為做愛而做愛,單看他們的表演(相信我,一定是表演)令人很難想像他們日常人生是怎樣過活的。這種跨張的、抽離的演技,活像共產主義之父馬克思(Karl Marx)早年提出的異化概念(Alienation)。異化;故名思義就是由一個「原本的狀態」變成「另一個狀態」的描述,既然馬克思哲學以「人」作出發點,那麼我們即可以問,人「原本的狀態」是一個什麼的狀態?馬克思認為人的「原本的狀態」基本上本是「善良的、是應追求自由、不受束縛,而達到自由、自主、自我創造、自我生成、自我實現的目標」,但有史以來人類卻常是作繭自縛,創設一大堆的社會結構(典章制度、法律機制、主產、銷售、貿易等模式)來範囿人性的發展,以致人類的創造性潛力遭受阻抑,其能力也難得發揮。而資本主義世界,更把異化現象推至另一個扭曲人性本來面目的層次。本來是一群平凡人,便因色情電影的商業價值和銷售利益而變成為做愛而做愛的機械人在不停以各種姿勢做愛…做愛…做愛……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAxCUNws5gum
1089Please respect copyright.PENANADTs8F6124t
我能夠動了,如果我現在喝停盧卡斯!他一定非常尷尬,但看著他繼續打飛機,我亦非常難受吧?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAykStoQvOjY
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAnQ7rP97oSB
蒜狗掃把!於是我大叫:「喂!幾點?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAKapxx2C58i
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAvKY8SSt4aX
然後,盧卡斯整個僵住,電腦熒屏上的咸片視窗倏然一收,換上另一個滿佈密密麻麻英文的網頁。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAr00uN25MnK
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA4LVEFArIKz
三秒後,他若無其事轉頭對我說:「Yo,波叔,你醒喇!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAqGiJHMAxkd
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAbqPAXd5uJJ
我的視線不其然集中在盧卡斯的右手上,幸好他仍未『出野』,不過有點濕濕地、黏黏地、都是正常的。1089Please respect copyright.PENANA7I59u2jyPf
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAv4VUBRUmwN
盧卡斯是聰明人,他知道我看什麼,他笑笑說:「Yo,我去洗手,再同你買野返黎食Yo。」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAraQh8p3FTC
1089Please respect copyright.PENANABLggO4zrBi
屌你老母,你唔Yo係咪會死?1089Please respect copyright.PENANA1jmXnooGZR
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA16Jq3rEM1o
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAiVuKkexYvE
醒來後,我屙了一篤我不能想像的大尿和大屎,馬桶都差不多塞了,連沖七次才能把我所有排出的東西沖走……之後,吃了我不能想像的大量垃圾食物,其中包括漢堡包和魚柳包,在此期間,我向盧卡斯敘述了我離開他之後所發生的一切……1089Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZeGuODeNG
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA5cWucO3Dgu
一邊點著茄醬食薯條的盧卡斯對SM鴨托洛斯基特別感興趣。「Yo,條友都幾奇……幾攪笑!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAyEn7FJKJyG
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA5FU2Hnw7fS
係,現在的年青人什麼都會用『攪笑』去形容,其實最『攪笑』的是他們才對。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAN6tRNIDBrg
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAbU4lJhYTtH
「究竟我訓左幾耐?」吃完東西,補充好體力的我問。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAcgWKBPXIkQ
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAO9vQvzvO3t
盧卡斯看看電腦的canlender,說:「四日三夜……」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAOF59JCiJLb
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAH1dMLHb552
「我冇醒過?」我說:「連去廁所都冇?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAHLzcnbR4HN
1089Please respect copyright.PENANASZpHxuD651
「冇。」盧卡斯說:「我甚至以為你死左,諗住打911,不過你有鼻航,噪到仆街。」1089Please respect copyright.PENANArJmgcIqYmx
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAKoGuTEgXRn
接著,盧卡斯說:「出發!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANA3yPWe6WLN9
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAdaENIkxw6S
「去邊?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAiXD9HlTNqa
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA83mtHFVp2C
「去搵3K黨!我同你講過,佢可能會為我地解答到魚柳包半塊芝士既問題!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANA8MINU62Upq
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAbgAygPqMxR
沒錯!我是因為魚柳包而來到芝加哥,現在一切都要回歸原點,繼續調查。我清一清思緒-----1089Please respect copyright.PENANAXaa202bENg
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAd5homADaoz
阿權的肉體應該仍在深圳的浴缸裏腐化中……那個疑似是他打來的電話應該是我的幻覺?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAVlvm03gMSG
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAQBrf9QU4Mu
微信上沒有小紅的訊息,甚至她的QQ空間也沒有更新過(過往她是天天更新加相的)……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAtHlW3xSfhH
1089Please respect copyright.PENANASBVUNYmw4u
她沒有死吧?如果是我會很傷心的。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAWBNhz4ZcWK
1089Please respect copyright.PENANApGbSK1sSUR
還有我在香港的父母,他們和我身處在同一個空間嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANApLuFzV373P
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAB616K3xvFr
我又應該再search一次Juatin Biber嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAkpwhK1sDu2
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAXmIFSGwfGe
我應該開一開自己的Facebook、twitter、Flipboard嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANABHp3ZAqSzg
1089Please respect copyright.PENANATxuKeZRJdv
我的Account仍存在嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANA6hRV8xx97u
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAnuOV8WXDSs
一切有意義嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAvp9afrnt8k
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAk1bvUSjYDz
如果沒有的話,1089Please respect copyright.PENANAHZz3TJTmaI
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA4zoAzOXSCR
我為什麼要活下去……?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAMfuicNJUkH
1089Please respect copyright.PENANApj368o3zau
如果我硬要活下去,1089Please respect copyright.PENANAf4gHbLlGfW
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAOiR14OVvud
我又應該努力找尋其中的意義嗎?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAY2OFeQJOqm
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAbsTePezHLB
又如果,『意義』這東西根本從沒有存在過……1089Please respect copyright.PENANADgqimgE5qo
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAWqD81xQKJA
『意義』只是人類的語言符號賦予它的內容時……1089Please respect copyright.PENANA8F2KEx9V7h
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAZjVScfYNg7
又如果……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAKC9YD3EMbW
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAp5cfsudPfI
又如果我們不用『如果』預設事物和知識時……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAVkacAaLoq4
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAdzkaIMGA3e
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAzocQdjGR5t
這樣的思考方法,在我仍是M記區經的時候,我從不會用上。1089Please respect copyright.PENANA6svnP8FAJ6
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAC55ck1jXH6
1089Please respect copyright.PENANApoIk6qrxL9
盧卡斯用綿羊把我送入他就讀的大學裏,找上一個名叫Jordan Bieber的人類學(anthropology)助理教授,Jordan Bieber就是那個3K黨的黨員,一個白人至上主義者。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAG9jYu3JInY
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAcvUME8CAE9
由於盧卡斯和我都是黃種人,當兩個黃種人遇上一個白人至上主義者的時候,那種吊詭的局面可想而知。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAMg9iWk7oum
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA1HGV5GNSgg
Jordan Bieber位於大學裏的辦公室非常簡約,一塵不染,牆上掛了一幅大概是年青的他和朗奴‧列根握手的合照,房間的樸素和整齊,大約這是這種人對血統純粹堅持的伸延展現。Jordan Bieber是個身高六呎四的鬼佬,以我的英文程度一定無法與他溝通,唯有寄望盧卡斯作我的翻譯吧,不過盧卡斯的確是一個可以信賴的年青人。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAF6hVoFQqK8
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAGNTjCAIgBS
Jordan Bieber對盧卡斯很熱情,似乎已是舊相識,至於我,他連眼也沒有看多眼,更莫論要問我叫什麼名字。1089Please respect copyright.PENANA7LPQTuS4Tq
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAueHpHy3BA4
盧卡斯問Copper之前拜託他的事情進展怎樣,接著Copper從櫃裏捧出一大疊文件,之後他們兩人在翻閱文件,我隱約看見文件裏夾有M記魚柳包的相片。由於他們全程用既快又密的英語交談,我就算有八吋大屌,也沒有插進去的餘地,百無聊賴間,盧卡斯示意我可以去食煙,於是我離開Jordan Bieber的辦公室,到了室外,建築物的入口處抽煙。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAKdGOYIxzu1
1089Please respect copyright.PENANARGB37eH2wj
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA33T41NFQNy
這時候,很多大學生經過我面前,是轉堂時間吧?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAPWMtmW8pzF
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAnzoJkBHZGG
屌你老母!1089Please respect copyright.PENANA4mtqrqI1Vt
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAXzMATyGRXT
屌你老母,現在我終於明白香港這一代的年青人為什麼都要出外昇學的理由,鬼妹的確是一種非常生物,儘管她們青春美麗的保鮮期都比較短(凡美麗的事物都是短暫的),年過二十五已經開始淍謝,但在她們十六開始盛放的時候,真是一種上天的殘酷恩典,如果世界上有神---講英語的God---,神一定是藉著鬼妹她們美麗的胴體向凡人展現生命的無限可能和燙熱,尤其是她們無邪的笑容,彷彿嘲弄著我們這一群中年男人早逝青春的庸俗,也彷彿嘲笑我們因幻想她們而暗自勃起……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAUiFZWPPSIN
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA8nRwTSQPtI
但無論怎樣都好,抽著煙欣賞鬼妹無疑是人生一大享受。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAxyXYd65mnf
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAKLsRYQqPwD
在尼古丁作用下,我幻想著一個鬼妹波濤洶湧向我走來,然後隨隨便便對我說:「Do you want to Fuck?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANASYv7Q2Yfky
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAaKPkCa45zU
然後I say:「Yup!Fuck you ok!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANA9syVuYHd7H
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAPYEf2FKFf8
「Let Fuck!Go!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAmbaRa9WiFD
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAhBcxulu17o
突然我醒了,一個年約十七、八歲的鬼妹的確向我走來,但她沒有波濤洶湧,相貌也非常普通(但普通的外表已經勝過大部份港女)。現實和想像之間,往往都是鴻溝。1089Please respect copyright.PENANADSrsAYQ7kr
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA3dyXdQ3TGW
更奇怪是,忽然來到我面前的鬼妹以非常純正的廣東話對我說:「你就係盧卡斯個friend波叔?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANA1I0eKVmHBO
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAjttVI8kpkn
「Yes……Yup。」我本想廣東話用答,但舌頭不聽指令地吐出英語。大概這就是殖民地的基因作崇吧。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAcrDjEauTSE
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAFbf14aBaPw
鬼妹拉起我隻手,說:「Follow me,我有野同你say!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAT6ua9FbkjF
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA5dWussIX1f
講真!鬼妹隻手好大、好熱,但好滑。1089Please respect copyright.PENANArnbt5Ciw8Z
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAy5SYNzo4Y9
「做乜先?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAIQXSVR6pKX
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAtk1ansB9j6
鬼妹把頭哄過來,我甚至嗅到她頭上洗髮水的香味,她面上有雀斑,唇厚,牙齒白得閃光,近看原來她有綠色的曈孔,老實說,如果她的眼大小小,鼻細小小,塊面瘦小小的話,她絕對是一個尤物。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAZFIW0bDbJk
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAvtXAV1PE2f
「Jordan Bieber宜家比盧卡斯引開左,我要同你去steal野!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANADNevTjX1B5
1089Please respect copyright.PENANACnzNuyvSpO
「steal野……?即係偷野?你叫乜名?」1089Please respect copyright.PENANAQIBo75YN73
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAFhFQESZo5Q
「Emily Paxton,call me Emily!」1089Please respect copyright.PENANA7oVmWgRbeG
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAsbMBJoJ6Am
1089Please respect copyright.PENANA4OlJ8EaHqF
青青校園裏,我和鬼妹Emily偷偷溜進一幢非常古老的建築物內……1089Please respect copyright.PENANAK9bqFBqWBI
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAoktDEA2HTL
臨闖入古老建築物前,Emily告訴我這所大學是共濟會辦的。1089Please respect copyright.PENANAWhkSjX8995
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAoIt2yX0NFn
共濟會?有什麼關係?1089Please respect copyright.PENANAPaRaNeXW6k
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAXL8lh3X3V8
太多了,又共濟會,又三K黨、又法輪功、又鄭多燕、又外星人、又乜又物,究竟那個才是……
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAgwqnO5GwcU
1089Please respect copyright.PENANAIVAqHKcroY



