天亮，上班。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZgPuLjKjQ
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhSFpdPGTl
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKMIC6V9iz
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhR5dOdlkc
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBCexgQwxQ
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI18YBX14f
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs53Em1lMM
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t3ywvv9cn
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuIU6oe5sM
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIJTnjL2ti
看不見，罷。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfuN8qU6Ss
天黑，下班。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxYQP7CCC6
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrhUP7eer6
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxsT0pQQUH
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTdUOfR6NQ
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCUA3PKVQB
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IfSz5QRkD
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1THt5c3Yf
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnMMGCQrBV
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUINOI26pB
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YPaYay6a4
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4DHDy5jWf
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96HJvihV9c
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO8NPCwYEC
公司，午飯時間。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoJ3peiRFM
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJVKt5xgch
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9mP2JJcyu
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1KjUzEGAt
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33XiV8Q67T
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53TikIXHSL
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nDXprxjf2
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XAjDvw8jJ
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5C5sR0AwT4
還是……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zuMahGqIC
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYk3gUsHuJ
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHDYSCB2B5
公司，工作。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rf4m87dXb
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKC0GpXIzIj
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNxgn2y8x8
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy9Y4iiAD1
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFvSaa0bup
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPht90hbJfa
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJXeFGvjMr
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMnFbgTBis
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNNjAon2Xk
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodQdj5wObW
快意，笑了。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBNVqVQwwj
酒吧，喝酒。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiBUZrVpEc
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtPi9XeK4x
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSU6V3oN97w
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIlEr2BMpG
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGwj1hvtIF
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xUQOeMRN3
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuuxeUDrPI
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq0d48zz4O
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRQabjTdHt
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR5UkGbGZJ
醉倒。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiezn2aCF5U
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CNXAHZ3IB
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLa8Fg7NrF
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYh2Jtyy2S
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL0kVosJ2m
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuQb47H887
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48WLRlHtDb
假期，醫院。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfZ1juHmJc
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGdC36Xket
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutY5TZGGsv
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyKV8YNzLg
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkW0bgdy2o
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqIV2H7ZaN
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQksWOnvJC
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN22nEZal1C
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEssfSwnCY
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sLAAUlorj
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUsQwakLKW
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7QLy0yAnb
死寂。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBBTpPjeDj
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOsShqWG8o
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CFA9X1MLF
回家，晚飯。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKJmgPVDBQ
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVraP2vh4G
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HmPKhyqJT
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6BNtzEgEQ
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l1ptN1tZb
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd1wJwZbdf
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtPNNPVa2K
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKckRXLs97E
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh8kY2fdvN
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcayN1udIHF
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMQeEHmuwX
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND65VKzuap
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3946Cx65Tw
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZL2vVNidF
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VdlSMSWVU
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtAbu5RZUW
男友家，床上。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgPLaBXqcF
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAaCFx5It4
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yyBB2nRyG
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumOpgbRMxG
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qGwZQ4pPb
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGPo4s4EFU
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFp5MK2MQc
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJflpvcExmY
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Bf7Kvyz5f
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivtHDr4PH8
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDKssjzhnf
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAmUd7UiZZ
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLsqllot9W
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOjly0x59j
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaVTDZJA1V
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfjS37xsAA
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkkSl6avka
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx75wuTh7yV
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xLXV3D3S8
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsDjdzjbgg
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdgTIXi6Zg
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl14whcCbu
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhajxPika0D
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIVZwxlnqB
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuRPy0PpfB
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4VK7M7B9W
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuL61xYV2Q
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhaGhMNJQd
「在你體內。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2faWljP3M4
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5G6ut1XYO
「甚麼？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgTL0uNV0S
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkSCB0w3XR
「蟻。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMGFRbnDCT
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaLIC7OWNc
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowiHejKbsd
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqMd4MUAhC
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOya8dIKQZ
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCBAppev6l
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbc53LUcK0L
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoY3b0JWb0I
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvtje2KWPV
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9patSFh6o
「誰？」另一聲音反問。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC0aTNOR2Q
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsNPLIfnyv
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPXyW1VoyK
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlTtRppNr8
靜。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIt4yw2e7o
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMYrNCEKX4
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpSiXIhcBb
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcwb2ngt2o
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFvgVZxK5U
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEjSu3Wx3l
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSHYiIzfen
我：「我有精神病？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNV8D8I9T6
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVHklUQCwZ
醫：「是情緒病。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyRy1tpM4j
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPCH1rtc2u
我：「怎麼辦？」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1v5644S0l
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFl3Bk0EA2
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWbqNHkKzE
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsSoT6oMEf
我：「謝謝醫生。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKW1qE6SbI
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOqt98Shw7
醫：「不用謝。」278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajUSe4p4pe
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RuJ4QOVXN
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJaZ9DmO5t
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChLRUCpv94
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc9olQLwBx
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgf8QQZivpp
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldtLWjioa5
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXBFbtpQmN
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9PUVqIpdw
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEItlnRkg2X
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMDWC2BmuP
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jj50CnN51
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa70SwCbdj
……278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRemLNb5dl
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLFKPc5yGF
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18A49awQdj
278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZWmbwibF8
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。278Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgun4t1qBC
然後按「加至主畫面」