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天亮,上班。125Please respect copyright.PENANAZDmxtjighX
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擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWaywMmjVsw
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車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。125Please respect copyright.PENANA3hoLPpqwvs
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食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHmn6mmeOiB
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到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。125Please respect copyright.PENANAojDwahbwB4
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看不見,罷。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPSwDf1pwQC
天黑,下班。125Please respect copyright.PENANA02qC2krT22
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身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAvlp5J5cbAk
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「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。125Please respect copyright.PENANA1EgmoAfTti
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我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……125Please respect copyright.PENANALjOzK1UBxZ
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「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。125Please respect copyright.PENANABYmuCJ6syS
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「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」125Please respect copyright.PENANA0YiOMytTDc
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「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAV3TdN8grdU
公司,午飯時間。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtNwAGTowCg
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甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……125Please respect copyright.PENANA32tBPMTpee
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看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?125Please respect copyright.PENANAqtyoNdjk3n
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驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。125Please respect copyright.PENANA23W9gAfuGm
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。125Please respect copyright.PENANAurJNTybCJd
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還是……125Please respect copyright.PENANAYuYqbMuMdJ
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其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!125Please respect copyright.PENANAsRfXWPp4hU
公司,工作。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmljnl90ERA
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被上司罵個狗血淋頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOKnJHJ3QZ9
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大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。125Please respect copyright.PENANATTYCaB7GXl
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很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。125Please respect copyright.PENANAenXUy9FOgr
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剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。125Please respect copyright.PENANALZIXItNw43
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快意,笑了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZZ4MRegTf
酒吧,喝酒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAl99RXqrCLS
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「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJRdwUBSGcA
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「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwsmEPzoKsl
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「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAeDNLrbVEFL
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聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。125Please respect copyright.PENANArCp7QnCQZB
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醉倒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAESQdkaWQZm
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迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……125Please respect copyright.PENANA2nUvy1nXbc
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「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」125Please respect copyright.PENANAuHUPPMY7R0
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今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。125Please respect copyright.PENANAQtBivLdd7s
假期,醫院。125Please respect copyright.PENANA45owHcJ67l
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媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。125Please respect copyright.PENANAZM1AwerJs5
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看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。125Please respect copyright.PENANAdjUg24mTi9
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「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」125Please respect copyright.PENANAsnrrXVvjPw
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大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAp5NEuHy6cX
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「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。125Please respect copyright.PENANAY7uYRN3MV7
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死寂。125Please respect copyright.PENANATTQmXXLqtv
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出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbXHrD9FLDR
回家,晚飯。125Please respect copyright.PENANAm8dRTglq8r
125Please respect copyright.PENANAcJHcrrEmIy
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJMsLwFP9KV
125Please respect copyright.PENANAURyvAab6PT
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」125Please respect copyright.PENANAR0eTT4ttEE
125Please respect copyright.PENANA24Uk4RsFTx
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHnPYhAY2WI
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我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?125Please respect copyright.PENANASRwEmjaYwk
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。125Please respect copyright.PENANATUQITisVKf
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一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXI8cD6tsuG
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久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。125Please respect copyright.PENANAVQtZPcqXIo
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但我知道,我永沒能走遠。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtL2ucQ3Ken
男友家,床上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAVSUlF5hGes
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前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。125Please respect copyright.PENANA6zCACSzQO8
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産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。125Please respect copyright.PENANAB1PBL1WtSk
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我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」125Please respect copyright.PENANARhjO08UkFE
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床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……125Please respect copyright.PENANACpkhMw6iAz
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAy2DQyGUcZ
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說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqXR6vu7KJ3
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「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtS5sm2HTMB
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「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。125Please respect copyright.PENANArDvFavwEJz
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「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHYysNYbb0U
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「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。125Please respect copyright.PENANAiV1zpjgHnb
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「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。125Please respect copyright.PENANAttAbqQQ06z
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「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqVJaw7e1XY
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。125Please respect copyright.PENANAozcy3IEBnl
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今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」125Please respect copyright.PENANAUQYQn21ds1
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「在你體內。」125Please respect copyright.PENANAu01puAk1ZF
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「甚麼?」125Please respect copyright.PENANAdc6VIxyWgg
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「蟻。」125Please respect copyright.PENANAE0GOZjZPcF
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAvbJZJT7WO
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它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!125Please respect copyright.PENANA8iwNcQLsmN
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結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnla8GYSBIb
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。125Please respect copyright.PENANAiEoeSKTk1u
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「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtzINeyNDWz
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「誰?」另一聲音反問。125Please respect copyright.PENANACPRq5EKIqY
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「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」125Please respect copyright.PENANAsfpZ8PwUI9
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靜。125Please respect copyright.PENANAs8dHMlsfAs
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我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwVEhAieuu7
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」125Please respect copyright.PENANAJoB5xQwFJ9
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醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」125Please respect copyright.PENANA7gOZzMpEYX
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我:「我有精神病?」125Please respect copyright.PENANAseImm8DPnK
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醫:「是情緒病。」125Please respect copyright.PENANAkmpwuAmgGE
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我:「怎麼辦?」125Please respect copyright.PENANAMT5gVe6Xfs
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醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」125Please respect copyright.PENANAeBGk7chuB1
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我:「謝謝醫生。」125Please respect copyright.PENANA1dVuGH1Vgx
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醫:「不用謝。」125Please respect copyright.PENANANEeyrLiIRz
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離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。125Please respect copyright.PENANAcHw2ICv6Xz
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不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKxfYS5H1Ow
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?125Please respect copyright.PENANAxgT0ZENgQG
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醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;125Please respect copyright.PENANAy2sxhmY0tf
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男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;125Please respect copyright.PENANA0vU5XI3USQ
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同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;125Please respect copyright.PENANAzMceDhh6Im
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……125Please respect copyright.PENANADwhPGeLiW7
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「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。125Please respect copyright.PENANAh3EY73OJd0
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臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……
註:此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規,煩請創挑主通知,願刪文。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnEO0A7UdsX