天亮，上班。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡourmuBVdIc
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg4MURTaYx
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QsTmS3WSg
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bisieVChJ
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzfjvBjWJT
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR3g7YgYUd
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVrRrrkU2P
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDfi5nF0Nh
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzrmg51vmz
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWRkITOmfx
看不見，罷。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jt1GyJplp
天黑，下班。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEC5fmblVh
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GpMNLGWWN
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEszgwPZxUn
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMu8MUKmCX
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T5KfWisjJ
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1h4XhmrTm
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gHhe7vsUf
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ9I0U4AAf
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3TphEj34m
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID7pMbc0Wz
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjltPileGxw
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkMEEZ7oqk
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3XNAUlnGn
公司，午飯時間。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTK9wsCaOb
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CL9FOgfMM
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJVTCf6iGt
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RMUYotH0k
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFffTiE8Xh
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFLsGNyE78
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvzSbn3als
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dFQw8eIx6
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJfQDouxFE
還是……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM69yzx4bN9
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUVDnKwTWz
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nLNXrvwtk
公司，工作。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAt0gYfrTO
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRV1Dg9BZ5
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuommKIdTgC
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDovad4pQy
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNZBNG7goa
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn8Yew9hBO
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbssGvhjqi4
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7AYerBXsw
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmbkhffL1N
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVN1KfjRBW
快意，笑了。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazwZjJ4JeK
酒吧，喝酒。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8vTKBEbox
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3WcSiWntU
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSQTD7k9Fj
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kZvNFwoac
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHUCwusqzb
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCEMrjd53F
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U0kmRzl1V
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMZMDgR6RM
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87672HWEEA
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lqAMDPhIP
醉倒。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFnLAbT225
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSX5UoUnAT
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoMZH8PZZK
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURUulHRhze
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOWaXPtDxD
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFV8CgPFRA
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjQHxwpAIY
假期，醫院。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb6eLpXpfV
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn6oKXUFlk
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Aq8GJWZkK
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkzs4zEXOt
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgnbUDBp1t
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z2WvjneZg
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItGIDdsWyl
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4LUTugCBR
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxGfvGzJmb
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcGEPOVNC2
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu6NZVE9LZ
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxoka05xQJ
死寂。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A2MSW7UhE
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwBhW4Jj5p
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeTOdKGgEu
回家，晚飯。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaQG8TS0Zc
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5Fq1neEnl
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgftYYgyUH
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZEpQpzlp4
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFQJs47AYJ
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOhuWiexX7
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0QBOSxUi0
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELbs98D3jb
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3NOReuxxf
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiO9uoaRxR
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBJO66w1R7
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MHFUtLgUx
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLRxW0Tju2
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uajw6GLYm
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6EkfcFrTX
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGtkpU87u2
男友家，床上。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAhLbzsbye
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBLrtN658K
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ832jatFCes
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQrooCjRWS
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9qKlTLDnk
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfXvwRfQcb
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw3bdG0Le3
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7b2E6SgMH
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMox80ZhOmh
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel9beASYNZ
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh3Sx1mB51
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWH2n2c1ve
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqCIpeNxJQ
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjbOtso51U
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0a7Rv3gV7
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfChkx1Bbq
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5p0Yu9vxu
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLLdfJ8Xzr
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo6MiMsPL9
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sOAM47xdR
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY21xHLp4NS
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES41C3utNl
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxlQdHA3iR
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1jF7beklk
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASarVdhHuU
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknmsNBnKT8
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtRARTM7Gw
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlCmLoRkK2
「在你體內。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPt6FnYT7r
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnR2okB0Yp
「甚麼？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OBN9ohNJ8
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx7dMc1dTZ
「蟻。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfn2O0kapq
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU9iobwZXq
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6sUJt6osw
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUjNoCtd0M
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLANXM8V3Ka
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGx14sjAYF
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhlLmbD7wC
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tiHuOwhHw
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i2bg6ct5v
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3ojk7H8Qh
「誰？」另一聲音反問。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPY2wn0KWR
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg4YioGG2I
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4YP7bWDIL
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGlA8V8jiW
靜。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Vf47udB81
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQE86zC0vD
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnUY2KWjzX
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJip3U4pCRK
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAjx7OSvqh
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd0E6W99xy
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjavM5fH1n
我：「我有精神病？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2penXks52
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qr2L1KuZS
醫：「是情緒病。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wqw2H3kyW
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfftqI1tMZ
我：「怎麼辦？」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIKjPD2ae2
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5eVCClEy6
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVg7g0xDbR
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHzUSGsMoQ
我：「謝謝醫生。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhimFFvikW
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmA5iTL30Ow
醫：「不用謝。」281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CdWXYf1ya
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AcIShukHJ
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQIqQ1vSux
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBUIR9VWdN
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuRHrAsKpY
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFC0i6fAjm
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIgv13wPGU
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dqqVJSwZE
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmhcvFPqnc
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRcMLmDaDn
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83hX6eyjGM
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnb3qAxajZ
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOe0QjKzsU
……281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ftvsf4JTO
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQOsBIYlbu
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrRKj2XeOa
281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQeyqH4Vb2
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。281Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZqUOEZnli
然後按「加至主畫面」