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天亮,上班。126Please respect copyright.PENANARUr4viqHOL
126Please respect copyright.PENANAbMx3J0OAYE
擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。126Please respect copyright.PENANAgpH5VBEHhK
126Please respect copyright.PENANANgzcopOzqr
車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。126Please respect copyright.PENANAMR2SEeKnJT
126Please respect copyright.PENANADADSQuWcuz
食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。126Please respect copyright.PENANAnS6iEq3Fk3
126Please respect copyright.PENANAoFD5C31JQw
到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。126Please respect copyright.PENANAv5Io84nkav
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看不見,罷。126Please respect copyright.PENANA3FickVoGc1
天黑,下班。126Please respect copyright.PENANA4eNfGrOfUs
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身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。126Please respect copyright.PENANAbEJvC2xxXb
126Please respect copyright.PENANAd58RyZCs29
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。126Please respect copyright.PENANAMZWO24kyAI
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我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……126Please respect copyright.PENANALkVxFeIjCZ
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「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。126Please respect copyright.PENANABn75v0PegK
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「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」126Please respect copyright.PENANAKBJB6IgIYA
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「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。126Please respect copyright.PENANAEKpgeiUJ72
公司,午飯時間。126Please respect copyright.PENANAQdR68Nt6Pi
126Please respect copyright.PENANALHF7GzVYb1
甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……126Please respect copyright.PENANAuWn4hEihrL
126Please respect copyright.PENANAQIvd1hEvEf
看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?126Please respect copyright.PENANAkUaD54DvCR
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驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。126Please respect copyright.PENANABywZ1kNKSf
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。126Please respect copyright.PENANADe4ZZhrbiH
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還是……126Please respect copyright.PENANADmIAzZg4uG
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其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!126Please respect copyright.PENANAzg4ri7jtQm
公司,工作。126Please respect copyright.PENANA20obDblpzP
126Please respect copyright.PENANANtCke7QyCX
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。126Please respect copyright.PENANA1P24HYqIVM
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大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。126Please respect copyright.PENANAI2Rjoje8l9
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很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。126Please respect copyright.PENANA9JRilxx2KQ
126Please respect copyright.PENANAbGxOXoyXmC
剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。126Please respect copyright.PENANAeKclqM8HDp
126Please respect copyright.PENANAE2c8sdjCXh
快意,笑了。126Please respect copyright.PENANArN7UujB8Fs
酒吧,喝酒。126Please respect copyright.PENANARpp054E529
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「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。126Please respect copyright.PENANAopPKyS3IUq
126Please respect copyright.PENANAVtXdhkO1KM
「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。126Please respect copyright.PENANAVuCibl11VQ
126Please respect copyright.PENANAfPSkWjU6sv
「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。126Please respect copyright.PENANAjsibOQh5Fk
126Please respect copyright.PENANAPTW07LOLHD
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。126Please respect copyright.PENANA874M1QKPF8
126Please respect copyright.PENANAdx75VqD28S
醉倒。126Please respect copyright.PENANARgHkxEgmjI
126Please respect copyright.PENANAcJubbRplZB
迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……126Please respect copyright.PENANAhQqPYWL6mY
126Please respect copyright.PENANArXJAWSGnXw
「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」126Please respect copyright.PENANAMOXmy43w4W
126Please respect copyright.PENANA0UVXTiUnq9
今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。126Please respect copyright.PENANAiXuSKdTmZv
假期,醫院。126Please respect copyright.PENANABqIsn2jnBD
126Please respect copyright.PENANAW1dMS5KPEy
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。126Please respect copyright.PENANAEdLfwNRsjY
126Please respect copyright.PENANA7HKaz8b4gT
看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。126Please respect copyright.PENANAnFivruJQWq
126Please respect copyright.PENANAqj1wpCcEea
「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」126Please respect copyright.PENANAwgsnu80ZrI
126Please respect copyright.PENANAkbRRYeWQnV
大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。126Please respect copyright.PENANA9xEtX7E9pK
126Please respect copyright.PENANAhZOxSodeN3
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。126Please respect copyright.PENANAmnQJiIDWNN
126Please respect copyright.PENANA8KlEdTzpDz
死寂。126Please respect copyright.PENANAZym4pPkWsJ
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出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。126Please respect copyright.PENANAudNSezt2wu
回家,晚飯。126Please respect copyright.PENANAUbGmklLr0N
126Please respect copyright.PENANAKRYqV2xUmP
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。126Please respect copyright.PENANAn0Z3HouY9g
126Please respect copyright.PENANAndCRkXHpXM
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」126Please respect copyright.PENANAUkmJ5xgVYV
126Please respect copyright.PENANA5jrlid268C
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。126Please respect copyright.PENANA8PZvMgmvNz
126Please respect copyright.PENANAOGmklRkUjB
我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?126Please respect copyright.PENANAa30oB18jPM
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。126Please respect copyright.PENANA5wzdi9fzGC
126Please respect copyright.PENANAFNYnAROdpD
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。126Please respect copyright.PENANA2faXRZSkLw
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久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。126Please respect copyright.PENANA8erXehODvz
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但我知道,我永沒能走遠。126Please respect copyright.PENANAfnCkJP7QdC
男友家,床上。126Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ7J9nVtX6
126Please respect copyright.PENANAaIhWaObmRt
前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。126Please respect copyright.PENANArfLf69j0Cb
126Please respect copyright.PENANApltDsKtzCz
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。126Please respect copyright.PENANAL5woUve9an
126Please respect copyright.PENANA4S2DmC15al
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」126Please respect copyright.PENANARNzjrIJcEf
126Please respect copyright.PENANArAOSKTJDql
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……126Please respect copyright.PENANAuqwuppxxbS
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。126Please respect copyright.PENANAw2xHf5Iy9h
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說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。126Please respect copyright.PENANAKvUr8sl5sR
126Please respect copyright.PENANAzgRGdHRqOU
「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。126Please respect copyright.PENANAfA6lXNvgHL
126Please respect copyright.PENANAqe3qjpYNxA
「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。126Please respect copyright.PENANAl6wOwvHSyj
126Please respect copyright.PENANAOHzGYxjq9o
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。126Please respect copyright.PENANA9glHUKcO4g
126Please respect copyright.PENANA4J7Mw7Vtc6
「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。126Please respect copyright.PENANApg8itK6K0V
126Please respect copyright.PENANAr1gIPF5Vl3
「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。126Please respect copyright.PENANA2s536GHIqY
126Please respect copyright.PENANAyOo9F1NUD6
「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。126Please respect copyright.PENANAE4XkyzeD5y
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。126Please respect copyright.PENANAxLu5thFygA
126Please respect copyright.PENANALqw5RJXQ7P
今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」126Please respect copyright.PENANAweoay7EBNe
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「在你體內。」126Please respect copyright.PENANA9EiBxu6l9G
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「甚麼?」126Please respect copyright.PENANADccVJhC50j
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「蟻。」126Please respect copyright.PENANAwjrsl6TmQh
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。126Please respect copyright.PENANAwTcPZ0zBV9
126Please respect copyright.PENANAgtBSgCWWeQ
它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!126Please respect copyright.PENANAZHCLFsieon
126Please respect copyright.PENANAJfNeyfU6c0
結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。126Please respect copyright.PENANAHScItMuikN
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。126Please respect copyright.PENANAHmYAqmFzK9
126Please respect copyright.PENANAyalVqUvVkO
「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。126Please respect copyright.PENANAcAFMm1xQL1
126Please respect copyright.PENANAxLWSwgBzLk
「誰?」另一聲音反問。126Please respect copyright.PENANAUCDH4cn1h5
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「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」126Please respect copyright.PENANA35TEGfNoJl
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靜。126Please respect copyright.PENANAcbeJlVOYbw
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我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。126Please respect copyright.PENANAbtFSnyFap0
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」126Please respect copyright.PENANA3fnCFAKx0f
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醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」126Please respect copyright.PENANAb1pMCJvAEg
126Please respect copyright.PENANAY85vW1tWnu
我:「我有精神病?」126Please respect copyright.PENANAWscSsoVlXs
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醫:「是情緒病。」126Please respect copyright.PENANASI61LHdqTy
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我:「怎麼辦?」126Please respect copyright.PENANAhK2MpvICli
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醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」126Please respect copyright.PENANAXyRDkvg6Mh
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我:「謝謝醫生。」126Please respect copyright.PENANA4wxt1aVHKd
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醫:「不用謝。」126Please respect copyright.PENANA9EWF3xIPqW
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離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。126Please respect copyright.PENANAp0cVIr9OQM
126Please respect copyright.PENANA5EAHEAP94P
不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。126Please respect copyright.PENANA48iWj1VQUq
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?126Please respect copyright.PENANAZmAJhhP7FY
126Please respect copyright.PENANAKDfTGxShrk
醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;126Please respect copyright.PENANA0FUDIn3S1p
126Please respect copyright.PENANAWNW11PxDJM
男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;126Please respect copyright.PENANANgSaKCAzcG
126Please respect copyright.PENANAuWGM0a4PHE
同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;126Please respect copyright.PENANAmdF38xNEtF
126Please respect copyright.PENANAapuhk10p4I
……126Please respect copyright.PENANA7bYcSZO7Y0
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「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。126Please respect copyright.PENANAmGtfgRFCxk
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臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……
註:此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規,煩請創挑主通知,願刪文。126Please respect copyright.PENANAnDBZ3UHiwQ