以下開始多少有雷,請大家自行斟酌囉。330Please respect copyright.PENANA7gkgFvvz25
330Please respect copyright.PENANADXFtXMHZEk
----330Please respect copyright.PENANARsuaImVu1t
雖然一開始我打算用多瑪的海景來當作楔子,但是很快就放棄了。330Please respect copyright.PENANAKYRITii0nQ
330Please respect copyright.PENANA7rOc6BI7MU
在深水於海邊迷茫遊走時,藉由回憶拉出他母親的事情,進而引出接下來的故事——每次我想到這裡,總覺得哪裡不太對勁兒,後來想想可能是景色的關係吧。330Please respect copyright.PENANASINi1NZpse
330Please respect copyright.PENANAdx04FcvoTL
因為多瑪的海是美而湛藍的,跟深水悲傷的心境並不相符。反諷固然是一種技巧,可前提是要讀者已經先接收到角色是悲哀的,落差感才能成形;我當然也可以把海景寫得淒涼、去呼應深水的哀傷,但還是少了點什麼。330Please respect copyright.PENANAByd2AMlE1o
330Please respect copyright.PENANAEkUuzLV9MP
到底是少了點什麼呢?330Please respect copyright.PENANAxm8P4Fco3H
330Please respect copyright.PENANA2q4Rd42SeE
直到現在我也說不太上來,真要說的話,這是一種手感上的問題。總而言之我在這裡卡了很久,從還在寫大綱時就開始思索;大綱完成之後,之所以遲遲未能動筆,也是因為這個原因。330Please respect copyright.PENANAunwUWcz5nU
330Please respect copyright.PENANAEtnFpA8tIW
後來某天,我忽然認為與其利用回憶,不如直接讓深水演示自己的能力算了;利用模糊的寫法讓讀者對他周圍環境的變化產生興趣,接著再利用托恩讓他的悲傷化為言語——我在腦袋裡其實還沒怎麼考慮清楚的時候,試著寫出了目前版本的簡短草稿,覺得好像可行——至少比在海邊走路好多了——才在3/28時動筆寫出了現在看到的版本。330Please respect copyright.PENANAnrumNAYujq
330Please respect copyright.PENANAnAy9avV19F
我想成品大概是令人滿意的吧。330Please respect copyright.PENANARL3Q70cWab
330Please respect copyright.PENANA5JC6dvsaGM
大概。330Please respect copyright.PENANAWxgqFIIGrb
330Please respect copyright.PENANAXPfdqitmj1
大概?330Please respect copyright.PENANAFds0Z5fS1b
330Please respect copyright.PENANAhoiZ2ILn5a
因為某種原因,我的心情其實有點複雜。330Please respect copyright.PENANAo25D6tr5a8
----330Please respect copyright.PENANAPpwnLq030c
《描繪靈魂的方式》330Please respect copyright.PENANAASUJzwdFEd
https://www.penana.com/story/85295330Please respect copyright.PENANAEYiXsCdAhp