我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。142Please respect copyright.PENANA3fTziLczrm
142Please respect copyright.PENANAuSc88C0qeX
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。142Please respect copyright.PENANApjVFC7RUuJ
142Please respect copyright.PENANApsXDnhr8td
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。142Please respect copyright.PENANAbmb9vQtqNP
142Please respect copyright.PENANABpwzYH3WuA
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。142Please respect copyright.PENANAkt56JUQV6D
142Please respect copyright.PENANAlJAxcEnuHZ
壓力似乎一併消散。142Please respect copyright.PENANA9qJibAp0gy
142Please respect copyright.PENANAbUIVqMDbsx
茶盡。我再續杯。142Please respect copyright.PENANAq9gAPIHr2V
142Please respect copyright.PENANAIxS38enmGb
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。142Please respect copyright.PENANASPgQBlu6KR
142Please respect copyright.PENANAKy8yGoLlr4
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。142Please respect copyright.PENANAnvX6D8WroA
142Please respect copyright.PENANA4tTwIbhasG
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。142Please respect copyright.PENANAFK2YXN49Wn
142Please respect copyright.PENANAIcZfIJykgQ
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。142Please respect copyright.PENANAYAEDGpVPNx
142Please respect copyright.PENANAwBxoi2VMAw
夢醒一場空。142Please respect copyright.PENANA8WfTeVZesA
142Please respect copyright.PENANAsqCWzwPmqt
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。142Please respect copyright.PENANAor4nnSJGzJ
142Please respect copyright.PENANA6goCM4Y0c4
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……142Please respect copyright.PENANAAH8R34YjEL
142Please respect copyright.PENANAaxPerclkst
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。142Please respect copyright.PENANA8gdy9c9Dl1
142Please respect copyright.PENANAJxBNqS67ki
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。142Please respect copyright.PENANAelpK00mqti
142Please respect copyright.PENANAV7pB7hEUkL
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。142Please respect copyright.PENANAjEa7yP2h3L
142Please respect copyright.PENANAZPvtpf3ykX
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。142Please respect copyright.PENANAZcv9q05xXi
142Please respect copyright.PENANAyizGAzIVcQ
我沾沾自喜。142Please respect copyright.PENANA7U5qvg5khX
142Please respect copyright.PENANAVnTIyqyjyB
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。142Please respect copyright.PENANAS0MWP7gssx
142Please respect copyright.PENANAzlqh6HybWP
但我沒有向同學們坦白。142Please respect copyright.PENANAGjFNBZuiSN
142Please respect copyright.PENANAX7D5DV7GHE
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。142Please respect copyright.PENANArB8Zi5FEch
142Please respect copyright.PENANApTcSGVS72D
努力,努力,努力。142Please respect copyright.PENANAVbG2njPHxs
142Please respect copyright.PENANARxYaDWC6zJ
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。142Please respect copyright.PENANAqqbLxXoOJ8
142Please respect copyright.PENANAHiqsdCSkUJ
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。142Please respect copyright.PENANAf3jKY8xKGV
142Please respect copyright.PENANABKrZCzUm0S
以為。142Please respect copyright.PENANA25JRGBAXPi
142Please respect copyright.PENANAb4SkV1gfuG
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。142Please respect copyright.PENANAMu4fxeGq28
142Please respect copyright.PENANAWYAzpG3ocG
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。142Please respect copyright.PENANAh5jZYHT2U6
142Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1GCv4KOwW
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!142Please respect copyright.PENANAMPc3EWVmDR
142Please respect copyright.PENANAnjqVlHzlH0
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。142Please respect copyright.PENANAt82SXWfx6a
142Please respect copyright.PENANACZYzLrTnKT
我的作品感動了我。142Please respect copyright.PENANAIqEB1hWgYC
142Please respect copyright.PENANAFxYFdXW0wl
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。142Please respect copyright.PENANAhTNkK5KJKX
142Please respect copyright.PENANAy03qxiDmC5
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。142Please respect copyright.PENANAKEd4dOJMyu
142Please respect copyright.PENANAFzccJjn4x3
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。142Please respect copyright.PENANAj8u0k1c3tb
142Please respect copyright.PENANAiw37OeUrBD
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……142Please respect copyright.PENANA7RUDIUEN0T
142Please respect copyright.PENANASz0G434mnZ
熱茶又涼了。142Please respect copyright.PENANAOgO1uh3Mfy
142Please respect copyright.PENANAPUnYmZrNyY
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。142Please respect copyright.PENANAY17PPZ3XFQ
142Please respect copyright.PENANA0skREmQAa8
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。142Please respect copyright.PENANAxlgGLIMwq3
142Please respect copyright.PENANAUlKXLYKzab
我的作品只感動了我。142Please respect copyright.PENANAUAdN5RSjfZ
142Please respect copyright.PENANAVGlVN0il7M
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。142Please respect copyright.PENANAEkDUVQlU2Y
才:才華
落:降低、下滑
備註:此篇收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns 172.69.59.88da2