徘徊在森林裡的冬之歌（後） - / 11

「───」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpMKdxnjFf
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我不發一語，看著倒在旁邊的這個已經變成屍體的男人。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkukvbRZKF
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根據過往經驗，有人在面前死去固然不是很舒服，但意外的是我對於他的死沒什麼特別的感覺。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhuqCUdE98
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「妳變了呢，來夏，過去的妳要是看到難以容忍的事情，肯定會挺身而出反抗到底呢。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF3hkXy387
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「或許吧，但我警告過他了。那麼，再過不久我也要像他一樣嗎？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELzsVNJDZW
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「雖說守住神命村的秘密是我的責任，但畢竟妳的身份不同，要是殺了妳的話可就違背教義了。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlrYfw2vZr
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「看樣子妳也變了，穗香。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvgNlkM8qK
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我看著眼前這個像是不曾見過面的陌生人。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGpszmQxrp
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能面不改色地將殺這個字掛在嘴邊，代表我記憶裡那個天真的穗香早已死去。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX9CSre31d
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「……是從什麼時候開始就掌握住我的行蹤的？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoRoJW9auE
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「事實上，妳投靠神谷夕子以後的紀錄就未曾間斷過，譬如妳考進的三流大學，就職後獲取的微薄薪資，其餘如社交狀況、就診紀錄等等森醫師皆有登錄在冊。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7t8ns1Euf
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「夠了。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1SpA0fAd9
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那說多諷刺就有多諷刺，原來我一直未曾逃離過村子的掌控嗎。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxmIR5VT7X
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「夠了？妳不是充分運用了妳的『特權』，作為神命村唯一的特例在外界生活嗎？縱然資料顯示妳嚴重無法適應而有過自我了斷的念頭，但皆為妳自己的選擇，村子未曾對妳做出任何干涉。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIl8RRy0dA
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「妳說的特權……究竟是指什麼？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNiAesA6Hc
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「是呢，妳還不知道吧？因為妳的親生妹妹──結城冬笑，是我們神命教所信奉的神。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNZgOnnXFL
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「冬笑是──神？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1D7DjWiPig
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我簡直不敢相信自己的耳朵。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigHOb2Gdmu
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因為一連串錯誤而在植物上進行錯誤的胎兒之夢的冬笑，在我離開村子的這段空白期間，居然被村子信奉為神嗎。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEMXQdlx78
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「在那之後……究竟發生了什麼事？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaG7436klaC
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「如妳所見，我們信奉著神，並藉由神命村這個機構進行篩選，唯有在此獲得認可的人，才得以前往理想鄉獲得永生。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStkgpBlZta
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「我根本聽不懂……再說妳到底為什麼會變成這個樣子？回答我，穗香！」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM2gtzu44U
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我終於忍不住上前抓住她的肩膀，和服的領口被我扯開，露出她那毫無血色的蒼白鎖骨。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY7aCS6Cp2
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「我的理解有錯？妳是要問為何是我成為教主？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZwiuEXe5V
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「怎樣都好……拜託妳了……」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzieN29kcdv
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意識到早已來不拯救眼前的摯友，我收回感到脫力的雙手。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRELqpYXgB
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「如果來夏想知道的話可以唷。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMdT1KJMnc
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穗香輕輕地笑了起來。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfpj3Urij4
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這是重逢後她第一次表達身為人類的感情，但我卻不知道那笑容之中究竟包含多少無盡的絕望。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8jDz1AC1A
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「其實被選為教主的人是來夏妳喔，再怎麼說妳也是神的親生姊姊。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdDNnOLihi
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既然妳不願意回來，我也只是作為妳的替代，暫時將就用著的次級品而已。所以現在只要妳有意願，隨時都可以頂替我成為教主，但那也要妳願意通過成為教主所需要的儀式才行。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a9b0YQZVs
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儀式的部份必須由身處滿是食物跟神滓的坑洞裡面開始。啊，就是在廣場上殺了許多人的那些，來夏的父親當時也在坑洞裡面呢。平常啊，神滓若是沒有接獲神的指示，就只不過是擁有人類劣等的本性，將慾望表露無遺的醜陋生物。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FUf7QeuEw
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「穗香，難不成妳──」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLrIMHNsg3
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我說不下去。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hwA1w3BMq
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正因為曾經目睹過一次那生物的暴行，所以怎樣都說不出口。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrPcWpdKiG
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「對啊，在那裡面被強暴整整一個月哦，全身能被上的地方全都被上過一遍了呢。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9xPmr04nD
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剛開始的時候，我可是無時無刻都在詛咒妳，但過了兩三天後就完全放棄了，因為到後來究竟是痛苦還是愉悅早就分不太清楚，這副軀殼的本能反應還真是下賤對吧？264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PByyF1KV2
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從那時候起我就感受不太到喜怒哀樂了，少了大部分感情的影響，才能做出對村子最正確的選擇吧？不過，雖然心中沒什麼恨，但至少還記得報仇的具體作法。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz1OnfkNWy
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「果然村長……是被妳殺害的嗎？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAPMh6kCNH
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「嗯，我成為教主以後，照著跟我一樣的方式丟進去了。不到兩個小時就發瘋死掉了呢，還真是可笑的老鬼。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tAIfWZPtM
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像是想起愉悅的事情似而嬌豔地笑了，那模樣有如帶有劇毒的花蕾。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3wsKLxL3l
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我無法想像過去她所遭受的待遇有多絕望，現在的我對沒有拯救到當時的她一事而感到萬分自責，但卻連分擔當時的她的千萬分之一痛苦都做不到。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hCCYuuQuW
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「為什麼……不打算報復我？妳想要的話絕對可以做到吧？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡML23ZmnMpf
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到頭來，只能說出這種不像樣的話來。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDT8FcxkLdD
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「來夏，我可不記得妳是這麼沒記性的人，不是說過妳可是神的姊姊喔？別說傷害，我的身份無權過問妳任何的事情。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoMYYPZTj4
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「那我到底該怎麼辦啊！！？」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NkWxKPGdY
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我幾近崩潰地嘶吼。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYlL4fGCLC
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在外界活得非常痛苦的我，就連回到神命村也找不到任何一點容身之處，連唯一的朋友都變成我完全不認識的模樣。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8aeFRSv4U
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「……前往理想鄉吧，小夏。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Sbu0RCwxo
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突然間，穗香張開了全盲的雙眼正對著我。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbt8jmBSPM
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那是一雙毫無對焦能力，呈現潰散的淡色瞳孔，而我只在人偶上看過這種不帶任何感情色彩的玻璃眼珠。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxnQeNKOhj
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然而，那卻是跳脫了教主的身份，由十七歲起便已支離破碎到不復存在，那名為桃井穗香的朋友碎片所提給我的建言。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfP741Fh55
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「耕一也在那裡。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvme7Q8QSx
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面無表情的女性，接著在有如機械似地解說完理想鄉運行的原理後，再度閉上了眼睛。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf8TvQHxuh
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……那代表著對話結束的意思。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBGQVfa2xX
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對於所信奉之神的眷屬，教主不被賦予權限過問，也不被允許發表意見。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7G3yfgUzP
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我向著那無法違背殘忍命運的摯友道了謝，起身準備離開會客室。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqoSjr9Rxc
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「青海的錄音檔我聽了，我與神谷耕一各自都欺騙了妳一件事情──」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84ZDAx5YIc
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臨走之前，維持正坐在房間裡面的教主叫住了我。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ajaZkKx17
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「第一是我早已讓神滓回歸神的懷抱，所以儀式早已不復存在。第二是那晚我並不在廣場上，把我留在這裡的人正是妳們。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdI3f7z3lEe
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謊言的告解到此結束。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5F49BtFqK
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即便想再多說些什麼，也無法補救過去的錯誤。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBaxyaMnx0
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我一步一步地踏過木製的走廊，在鶯啼的伴隨下前往故事的終局。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO68lwTu1AD
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在崎嶇難行的原始森林間走著。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZv002GUix
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糾結於未經開發的地面上的樹根洋溢著生命的喜悅。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXToC6jJpPT
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沒有地圖或指南針，單憑五感就想要前往理想鄉，在旁人聽起來簡直就是癡人說夢。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwq2QUOSE4u
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但是我對於穗香的話語堅信不疑。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2hPC1qO9s
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她說，只要順著歌聲前進就會抵達，她所棲息的那個世界。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR3bNLs5L4
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不知道在森林裡面走了多久。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnrWC3tlwX
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踏上旅途時我記得還是白天，只不過一眨眼的時間就來到了傍晚。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB98SAfTQC
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就在此時，我聽到了熟悉的歌聲。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfmfGexfFS
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旋律是我小時候經常唱給妹妹聽的，來自外婆家鄉的歌謠。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLfoNQnt04
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我順著歌聲的方向，中途因為受夠了難走到不行的皮靴，我乾脆直接脫下來丟掉。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj70tpcIiUm
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最後在撥開了幾道比人還要來得高的樹叢後，我終於來到了她的面前。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u03KbhtYv
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那是一顆以人類的視角來說相當巨大，有著少女形體的靈樹。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpRYahOPzV
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視野三百六十度全都是漫天飛舞的雪花。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjhvIHrTOO
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像是蒲公英般的孢子輕輕漂浮在四周，微弱的橙白光芒順著她呼吸的節奏而忽明忽暗。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTUwly26Ai
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在少女的腿部的位置附近，有著一個個如同卵般的人形物體，以深埋其中的頭部與她相連。那就是理想鄉的構成基礎，將所有人的腦部串連起來，進而匯集成為一個永恆的夢世界，這類似網路的原理讓我聯想到過去曾在書上看過的某種魚類。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa7bUXi8bf
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VymnvaK2b
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx38B9Xez07
……突然回憶起當初我對耕一所說過的那些話。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUGheNHLHY
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS3Wf7PoUs
如今已邁入社會多年的我，早就喪失了那份對未來充滿著憧憬的自信。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixw8AsR2Q2
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVkZqFxzta
結果我既不是安於現狀的家禽，也並非自由翱翔就能得到快樂的獵鷹。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4opQohTcjr
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jZJfgCbam
過去的我只是試圖反抗別人加諸在身上枷鎖，從未想過自己所嚮往的究竟是什麼樣的風景。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLYErpz6uM
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gyiiwfWh3
直到去了外面的世界才後悔，在那個人與人互相利用的環境中，我從未發自內心感到快樂，只是勉強自己笑著而已。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHQHrhm9EM
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmipnrShw64
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTfG8MHmld
我的快樂只存在於過去的神命村。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATf6Nd8xEg
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdzf8F1zcI
那個冬笑和父母都還在，和大家一起笑著度過每天的童年。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF41B9QQIfh
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDdH7dZMXU
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cT2fT3kVc
我踏著有點溼潤的地表走向她，腳底反饋回來的是有如苔蘚般的觸感。264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeNUJELUIm
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264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLNnFqV1VM
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlnyRvSiJZ
「──終於找到妳了，冬笑。」264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeopPQlgwWh
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWwKgB9nyo
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264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh13OW9Cbo
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9014W0rc2
──完264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnVgoeke7t
264Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnNPiz92QS

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