Colder Than Winter - 24. RECOVERY

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A shiny black vehicle stopped in front of a large building. Like most structures, the windows made up most of the exterior's look. Its color depended upon the weather and angle one stood at due to the reflection. At the angle Mr. Kim stood when he'd been assisted out of the car, it looked to be a dreary obsidian hue. Mr. Jung joined him at his side along with four other men to escort the CEO inside his place of work.

Once in the comfort of his office he asked his head of security to give an update on his family.

"Your son has just been dropped off at school. Mrs. Kim accompanied him for the ride and is on her way back home."

Mr. Kim hissed. "I told you to make sure she doesn't leave the house. They almost had her the last time she went out."

"She was very persistent about seeing Seokjin off. In turn I sent an additional car of security to follow closely. They'll ensure she makes it back safely." Kwangsoo explained calmly. This relaxed his employer and old friend slightly.

The CEO sighed and addressed the stack of mail he'd neglected for the past couple of days. And just like at home, he received another envelope without a return address. "Another one." Kwangsoo stepped in closer to see. But when he opened the envelope, there was no paper. Only burnt bits and ash."

~.::.~

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YOONGI

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The following days after the fire were long. At first I thought it'd be nice since Namjoon and Jungkook weren't around. Despite that being a win, school was just boring.

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Yurim stayed home in recovery. I only knew that because I spoke to her mom when I came to the Spa to pick up my bike. Even Hoseok and Seokjin's attendance seemed sporadic. I found it weird that the three of them always seemed to be tied together these days. Even when they were apart. It was like one of life's constant reminders that I was an outsider.

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I even started going to class everyday to help keep my mind busy. Rather than just waiting to see her when she clearly wasn't there. It was weird. Everyday that passed brought the memory of us at the police station closer to an expiration. Each time I look back, the more her face blurs from memory. I was forgetting the way she looked, smelled, and the sound of her voice when she said my name. All but one thing.

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The hug.

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I could remember that much very well.

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There's only two people who had ever given me that same feeling when they held me. And although they've been gone for years, I never forgot it. That's how I know I'll never forget hers either.

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My vision went black. The hands over my eyes were cold and in no way a mystery of who they belonged to.

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"Guess who it is, Yoon-yoon!" They sang. I let out a clear sigh of irritation, I tossed the boy's delicate hands away. My peaceful lunch period on the roof now ruined. I turned to head back inside.

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"I can't believe I'm stuck with you now." I murmured. Taehyung followed and hooked his arm around mine. I pulled away with a hiss and raise my arm as though to hit him. He flinched but insisted on staying by my side. "How many times do I have to tell you? Find someone else to bother!"

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"And let people think they're worthy of me? No way!" He pouted. "Besides, everyone knows about Joon and Kookie. They might think we're no longer important if we split up."

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"I don't care about all that." We made it into the halls, passing other students and their usual wary eyes. There seemed to be a shift in the students' regard for our presence. Knowing there were only two of us, they relaxed their caution slightly, but they still had their guards up for the unexpected.

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I could care less if anyone thought the four of us were meager. There were more important things than being feared and unchallenged.

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In the sea of black haired students, a speck of blonde sauntered toward us. I sent the second most annoying blonde in the school a death glare. He was fully aware, returning my look with a hint of smugness. My jaw tensed as the urge to punch his pretty face became painfully tempting.

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He was at my house that night.

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The ride home from the police station was a quiet one. I wasn't sure what to make of halmeoni's thoughts about what Yurim said to her. After years of misdemeanors and poisonous friends for company, she was ready to pin the event at the Spa on my bad behavior that's been at the center of her worries all this time.

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When we pulled into the garage, she finally spoke up. But not about what I had done.

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"Someone came over while you were out. I left them here to get you. Be cordial." She said before getting out of the car.

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I rushed out of my door, "who is it?"

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"You'll see." She sighed tiredly.

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The response made me antsy but I guessed she suffered a lot of stress having received yet another call from police about me. I didn't want to press her.

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On our way into the house I noticed the empty space where my dad's motorbike would've sat. A side note popped up at the back of my mind, that I needed to get it back and maybe see her in the process.

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When I followed halmeoni through the door, I searched the living room. For a moment the room was its usual modern and elegant interior. Gold and brass pieces of decor were placed sparsely around. Navy blue furniture contrasted the white of the walls along with its pillows of various matching colors and prints. My mother's baby grand sat in the corner.

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I was about to question if my grandmother had finally lost it, seeing no one around. Until he stepped out from the dining room. His hands arrogantly comfortable in his pant pockets. My blood boiled in my veins.

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"Ah, Yoongi," Jimin greeted with the nerve to smile. "You made it home safely. I'm glad."

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"Why are you here all of a sudden?" I asked with gritted teeth.

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"Jimin came to see you but you weren't here. So I fed him thinking you'd return home soon. But the call from the police..."

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"Halmeoni was really worried for you, Yoongi. Maybe it's time you think about her well being before you go making a mess of your life."

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I scoffed. "As if you'd know anything about putting others before yourself!"

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"Enough!" The old woman's voice stern. "I don't know why you've both fallen out but you won't be raising your voices in this house. Now," she straightened out her cardigan, "it's gotten later than expected so Jimin-ah you should make your way home quickly before your parents worry." I caught a cynical twitch in the other boy's eye when she mentioned his parents. "I'm going to bed. Yoongi-ah, you'll show him out and you will do it civilly. Understood?"

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The entirety of my body tensed with the desire to say no, but I bit my tongue. It was about time I earned the old lady's trust again. "Fine."

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When halmeoni finally retired to her room,

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"Your restraint when your grandmother's around is impressive, Yoongi. What holds that psychotic animal in when she's here, I wonder?"

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"Why are you here?"

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"I just wanted to check on Halmeoni." He said defensively.

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"Bullshit. She said you told her you came to see me."

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Jimin made an effort to look as though he were recalling the conversation himself. "Is that what I said? Huh...I guess I can't remember." He shrugged his shoulder.

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I raced forward and caught the collar of his shirt. "Why. Are. You. Here?"

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He scoffed. "Your friends have been trying to locate your house these past few days. Someone promised me a favor if I told them." Jimin shrugged. My grip tightened on his shirt.

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"You selfish bastard." I growled.

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"Relax, I heard they got arrested tonight so obviously they won't care anymore. Besides it's not like I was gonna tell them anyway."

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I huffed with doubt. "Oh really? And why not?"

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Jimin paused for a second. His eyes scanning the house thoughtfully. "Everything looks exactly the same. As if they were never gone."

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I shook him, "what do you care?"

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He then looked at me as though he'd just received the cruelest insult in his life. "What do I care? You forget, Yoongi, I loved your parents too, you know! They acted more like parents to me than my own. And you'd just greedily keep them to yourself!"

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"Yeah and I'm sure using their deaths back then was just your misunderstood way of grieving!"

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A sound came from the hallway. The two of us fell silent to listen. I wasn't sure if Halmeoni was just making honest noises or if it was her way of warning us. When there was perfect silence again, I tossed Jimin toward the door.

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"Get out. And you better not come here again."

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I burrowed my glare into his self centered smirk until he passed, no longer in view. The fire in my nerves now were just as fresh as it was during his unwelcome visit.

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I've approached him again during school, albeit in a less composed way than what halmeoni would prefer. However, just like before, he insisted he had no reason to give away my address and said to ask the person who approached him with the deal to back up his claim.

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I questioned Taehyung repeatedly. After a few threats and a light smack down, he stood by his answer, he didn't tell me anything! Don't you think I'd have come knocking to see you all this time if I knew?

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"That jerk didn't even look at me once." Taehyung clicked his tongue. "He took way too much offense at the bathroom thing. Did that ugly girl lie about us making out or something?"

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"Don't talk about her."

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Taehyung gripped his chest and released a pained breath. "Your protectiveness toward her breaks my heart. Were we not friends all these years?"

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Knowing a response would only inspire more impertinent rambling, I stayed quiet as we turned into our class. As usual the hum of conversations quieted a bit. Despite the predictable reaction, it seemed our classmates were starting to get used to our attendance. Their silence wasn't as saturated with the air of fear anymore.

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I couldn't help but laugh mentally at myself. It took this long to get this far and graduation was at our doorstep.

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Graduation, I sighed.

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A new branch of thought formed, bringing me back to Yurim. I hated not being able to even gauge how she's healing up. I hated thinking that her stubbornness could be slowing her down from a full recovery. She better be resting and not being stupid about it.

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YURIM

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The afternoon and early evening always graced my bedroom window with the busy ongoings of the town. It only made me feel useless. A constant reminder that everyone was contributing to the welfare of their families but me.

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I sat in bed with a text book in my lap. The only responsibility I was allowed to have was to keep up with my school work. As determined as I was to do so, I could never completely focus on my studies. The cost of damages to the main building would hurt our family's finances. My dad worked significantly less while in his recovery, which left my mother over worked and exhausted every night. Some nights, she didn't even return from the spa. Minju helped out when she could but exams were approaching for her as well.

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I looked at the boot-like cast around my ankle with contempt. If it weren't for my ankle, I'd have gone out job searching. However, not only was my time outside limited but who would hire an invalid for their business? They'd only conclude I was a liability anyway.

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"Oh, good, you're studying." A voice at the door made me flinch out of my thoughts.

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"Eomma, you're home!" I greeted with surprise. But the woman proceeded with a regretful sigh.

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"Not for long. I just came to check on everyone and maybe pack up some clothes. For the days I have to stay the night on short notice." She said. Lines seemed to linger on her forehead. And her eyes were heavy. Besides that, she presented herself well and professionally. "I'm glad you're focusing on your studies. Just be sure to give your mind a break every now and again. The doctor said too much focus and thinking isn't good after a concussion."

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Too late for too much thinking, I thought. "As long as you take a break once in a while too."

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"No need to worry about me." With a reassuring smile she retreated to her room to prep what she needed.

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My eyes lingered on the door for a while. From there a familiar shade of gray sat the corner of my eye. On my bedside table, sat Horim. I hadn't been able to pick up the stuffed wolf since the day of the fire. It was a memory of someone I wasn't sure was real anymore.

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Jung Hoseok. Who was he?

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My best friend or a gang member? A clumsy jokester or a lethal weapon?

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Who was he really? And why did he feel the need to keep a part himself hidden? Most of all, why did he feel it necessary to hide from me?

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Funny thing is, I still hoped he was okay.

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I looked down and found I'd been turning my phone in my hand. I've lost count of how many times I've considered calling or texting him. And then I'd think, he hadn't contacted me either. Which must mean something.

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A frustrated sigh exploded from my mouth as I tossed the device aside.

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"Minju, the garbage and recycling. Take it out after you finish the dishes." Dad instructed as he swept the floor for the fourth time tonight. He too must've been eager to get back to work I caught a look of reluctance from my little sister before she returned back to the sink with a slouch.

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"Don't worry, I'll take it out." I assured her.

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"Thanks." She breathed with relief.

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Thankfully, crutches were no longer necessary. As ridiculous as my limp made me look, I was grateful to take out the trash at least.

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It wasn't a long walk to the pile of trash bags by the curb, but with my new boot I got there in double the time. On my way back, I heard a jingle come from my pocket. A text, by the sound of it. I anxiously retrieved my phone, wondering if Hoseok finally...

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A swipe over the screen told me what I needed. It wasn't him. It was just a reminder from mom to make sure Minju didn't stay up late.

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It's been days and neither of us had seen or talked to each other. That's never happened before. Was this it? Was this the end of our friendship? Assuming it was real to begin with. I should've felt betrayed. Ironically I thought I'd finally found a real friend last year because I could speak my mind. Now I find that he'd kept his own mind a secret all this time.

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There was a little betrayal yes, but I was mostly just worried. Hoseok was the last person left at the police station after mom and I left. For all we knew, they could've kept him in jail for his past affiliations. I haven't heard from him or his uncle. I hadn't been to school to check if he was there. Mom said his driver, Heejae came to the spa to pick up the car we arrived in that night. But, as expected she wasn't very social in her encounters. We knew nothing about what happened to him.

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Suddenly my boot got caught on the uneven pavement and threw me off balance. I gasped and attempted to catch myself. However, someone else did.

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A firm, familiar grip tightened around my arm and caught me. The ache in my arm brought me back to a particular memory. One I wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. Another image of Hoseok's face popped into my brain. My body stiffened and instinctively pulled away from the hold. I may have been worried about him but I refused to let him handle me like that again.

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"Yurim." He said. I froze because it wasn't the voice I expected.

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Carefully, I stepped side wards to make him face the streetlight. After all, he was wearing a hood over his head. When I saw him, surprise made the hair on my arms stand up straight. "Yoongi." I stared in shock. He'd worn a black hoodie with gray sweat pants. As usual, his bangs left a black curtain over his forehead. Thoughts floated behind his feline eyes. "But I didn't hear your- I mean...um, no motorcycle today?"

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"I promised my grandmother I wouldn't ride it for a while. It isn't exactly legal yet." He shrugged. "Why are you walking outside? Aren't you supposed to be recovering?" His eyes surveyed the cast around my foot. I squirmed in place. Minju called it my dinosaur foot and wondered if his thoughts surrounding the unattractive accessory were similar. "A cast? Wasn't it only sprained from the hike?"

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"That's right it was. But after Namjoon..." I hesitated when I saw Yoongi's expression harden. That's when I remembered, he wasn't there for that part. Unsure of how he'd feel, I decided to leave out the details. "The doctor found a small fracture. It's so small, I won't need to wear this for much longer." I assured him. What followed was a wary curiosity as for why I was so careful to spare him from worry.

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Another string of thoughts looked to have passed through his head. In the shadow of his hood I could've sword I saw his jaw tense. It took him a good couple of seconds before replying. "Well then, more so, you shouldn't be out here at night by yourself. Don't you know predators flock to wounded prey the first chance they get?"

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I looked along the street. There were few people out either strolling or sitting in front of their businesses. People I see everyday. "This street isn't all that dangerous..." I mumbled under my breath.

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"I'll walk you back."

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I blinked at him. "But it's not far." However, he had already began to lead the way. After a second of uncertainty, I awkwardly followed him.

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Minutes of silence passed. In those minutes he matched my speed beside me. I wasn't sure what to say. I was too busy trying to figure out why he was here. Did we live close by all this time and I didn't know it? And then there was the question of why he insisted on walking me home. Was he really concerned about my safety?

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I guess having had a concussion and a walking cast proved reason for concern. But Namjoon and Jungkook were gone. Everything was fine now.

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"So..." he began, snapping me back. "Any idea when you're coming back to school?"

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"Hm? School?" A nearly tangible tone of surprise could've knocked him over. He's been going often enough to notice I was gone?

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"I'm just curious because...you know. With exams coming up and graduation..." he trailed off.

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Graduation. I tried to look at his face but it was turned ever so slightly so his hood concealed it. His hands resting in the pockets of his jacket.

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"I actually go back tomorrow." I waited for a response but none came, which was fine. With another silent pause, the topic of school brought something else to mind. "Have you seen Hoseok at school?"

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"Sometimes. Here and there. Seems to be occupied with something these days."

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"So the police did let him go."

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Yoongi looked at me. "You mean you haven't seen him since the police station? He hasn't come to see you?" Now he had the tone of surprise. "Doesn't seem like him."

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A bitter scoff shot from between my teeth, which I regretted. The unintentionally blatant reaction earned a curious look from him.

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"What?"

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I sighed. "How would we know what he's like? There's a whole other half of him I'd never known existed. It makes me wonder if the half I knew was even genuine." Another moment of silence came, along with a concern that I had shared too much. What was I thinking, spilling personal concerns all over him? "Uh, never mind about all that. I'm just thinking out loud. It's nothing."

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"How is it nothing? You just found out your best friend was in a gang." Yoongi said. "If I were in your position, I'd be thinking the same thing and doing what I can to find out what he's after."

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"What he's after?"

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"Yeah. There's usually a reason behind everything. I'd want to know why he chose to be my friend out of everyone. What did I have that he needed?" He explained.

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My mind started racing. He was right! Why would a gang member choose me- a boring, obedient loner to be friends with? Why would he fake a whole personality? I should've been looking into this a long time ago!

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"But, of course all that isn't necessary for you." Yoongi casually killed my mental paranoid rant.

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"Really? Why?"

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Yoongi thought about his next words then shrugged. "He cares about you. He's your friend because he wants to be. Not because he has to be." Heavy doubt weighed on my heart as I thought back at that look Hoseok gave me that night.

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"You didn't see the way he looked at me when I tried to stand up to Jungkook." I shook my head hopelessly. "I still have faint marks where his fingers dug into my arm. And he's never yelled at me before. It was like I was just getting in his way."

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For a moment I thought the conversation had gone stale. But a beat later Yoongi chuckled to himself, triggering my irritation. I tell him something serious and this is how he reacts? I stopped in my tracks, stopping him too.

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"What's funny?" I crossed my arms. The street light above gave the perfect interrogation setting.

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The boy regarded my reaction with more care but kept his amused expression. As he contemplated I happened to see the boy's tongue touch the corner of his mouth by pure chance. My resolve faltered. But only for a second before I recovered myself.

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"Look, there are only two reasons a guy gets that mad at a girl. Either she's a real pain in the ass or...he's just scared."

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I stared with a puzzled face. Scared?

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Yoongi must've noticed my confusion and went on. "You just said, you were trying to stand up to Jungkook. Which sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You must've given him a scare doing something so stupid." I narrowed my eyes at him. He scoffed...or chuckled. It was hard to tell with him. "I'm just saying he was trying to protect you. Relax." The boy's palm plopped on my head for two seconds, his eyes soft. Then he continued walking.

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It was so unusual. This new, foreign Yoongi. He was nice now and I had no idea why that was or how I'm supposed to act.

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"Aren't you coming, Godzilla?"

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"Hm? Godzilla...?" I thought about it for a while and then looked down at my boot. My face went hot. I stomped the ground with my good foot. "Ugh! This jerk."

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We continued forward in silence, my ears fuming. The air around him felt much too smug. Maybe I spoke to soon about the being nice part.

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Later, after my insecurity about my foot calmed down, his words about Hoseok replayed in my head. It brought something else to mind. A question. Possibly a stupid one. But before I worked up the courage to ask it, I realized we'd reached the laundromat of our landlady.

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"This is it." I said. Even though I could've sworn he stopped before I did. I was suddenly aware that I'd been holding my elbows in my hands. He still had his tucked away in his jacket pockets. The awkward silence amplified the calm activity of the street. We both seemed unsure about how to part ways. In fact it was the first ordinary, peaceful parting we'd had. The arcade, the stairwell, the spa weekend, the police station...none of these memories had a normal goodbye. It's strange to think back. How did so much change occur in so little time?

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"You'll get up the stairs fine?"

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"Yeah. Thanks." I answered, but my tone sounded distracted. That question from earlier burned against the forefront of my mind. At the same time something kept it captive. Else I'd face possible embarrassment.

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"What's wrong?"

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"I had a question..." I hesitated and fought with myself until something churned in my stomach. "Uh, never mind, goodnight." Keeping my head down, I darted for the stairs on the side of the building. Until a pull on my head kept me back. "ACK!"

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I stumbled backwards then scowled at him. Yoongi had the chunk of hair above my right ear in his hand.

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"Ya..." I complained.

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"'Ya.'" He mimicked. "Don't you know it's rude to start a thought then change your mind? What were you gonna say?" The streetlight behind him was shining in my face now. I also noticed his hood had slipped back a little, his features peaking out.

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"Let go of my hair."

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"Tell me first."

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I sighed with a dramatic rise and drop of my shoulders. My eyes found the ground as I deliberated how to word it. "Something you said made me wonder..." I bit my tongue. There were some questions that were best left unanswered. And I was only realizing that now.

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"Wonder what?"

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I gulped. "You gave the only two reasons a guy would get mad at a girl. And so it made me wonder..." my lungs felt constricted "...which reason it was for you."

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I chanced a look at him. His eyes were strewn together, confused. Anxiety piled up, dreading the moment he pieced things together. But nervous habits die hard.

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"B-but it doesn't matter anyway because I figured only one option makes sense so I stopped wondering. It was actually really dumb to question it at all. The answer is obviously because you found me annoying." I rambled incoherently. "So that kind of makes it irrelevant to discuss it now so you really don't need to worry ab-"

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"Aish! Slow down!" He grumbled. "What the hell are you even talking about-"

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"Graduation!" I blurted.

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The imaginary thread that kept his eyebrows strewn unraveled. A growing look of understanding came across his face. My hair fell through his fingers. I waited for him to say something. At least I think I was. Either that or I happened to be looking at him in a state of frozen terror. Heartbeats made my chest ache the longer this moment stretched on. Then he spoke,

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"Yurim-"

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"Yurim-ah!"

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I jumped at my dad's urgent call. Yoongi quickly tossed the hood off his head. I looked back where my dad was rushing down the stairs. He had the broom in his hands.

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"Get away from her-!" He approached us raising the broom stick. I raised my hands to tell him to put it down but he stopped first. Luckily he got a clearer look at Yoongi. "Yoongi? It was you?" Dad sighed relief. "I thought you were one of those boys. What brings you here in the evening?"

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I caught Yoongi's eyes but blinked away nervously. Telling by his reaction, he definitely remembers what happened that day those years ago. I shouldn't have brought it up. I should've just lied.

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No, he would've known.

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"I see." Dad said. I tuned back into the conversation, missing Yoongi's reason for being out here. "Well, it's too bad, we've had our dinner already. We would've welcomed you in."

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"Maybe another time." Yoongi replied distantly. I hadn't realized I was looking at him again until his eyes found mine.

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"IS THAT YOONGI? HI, OPPA!" All our eyes cut to Minju who waved energetically out from the window upstairs.

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"He was just leaving!" Dad called back. Minju groaned her disappointment. "Well then, 'til next time." He offered his hand. Yoongi looked at it with surprise and a hint of skepticism before taking it slowly. Dad then turned to me. "Make sure to leave the outdoor light on. In case mom comes back." With that he returned toward the stairs. Yoongi seemed to watch the man walk away for a moment before speaking again.

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"'In case?'" The boy next to me inquired.

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With much effort, I tried to push away my current thoughts to accommodate his question. "After what happened, my dad's been taking it easy, so my mom is working longer shifts. We never know if she'll come home or stay the night at the spa." He nodded but similarly to myself, he clearly had something else on his mind.

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"Yurim, I..." Yoongi's voice crawled with eagerness. But he hesitated after his eyes had wandered to the house. I followed his gaze and found my little sister still leaning on the window sill. Her wide eyes watching us excitedly. He sighed, his jaw tensing with his thoughts. "I'll see you at school. Right?" His eyes bore into mine. Perhaps demanding a response.

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"R-right." I stammered. With that he was able to relax a bit before he turned to leave. I stood lost at his sudden but casual departure.

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"BYE, YOONGI-OPPA!"

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As he walked out of sight, I attempted to grasp what he could possibly be thinking of me now. After my unnecessary reminder of the most unpleasant encounter we've ever shared. I was especially curious about what he was about to say. Yet equally anxious at the same time. Regret began to replace every semblance of bravery that had unleashed my idiotic thoughts on him aloud.

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I'd return to school tomorrow.

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Hoseok. Yoongi. As of now, I couldn't tell who I more nervous about running into.

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