Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F7CYE7OlB
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVkaihBHzV
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8LIcOKi1q
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBGfJ9R9bM
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUBaU4TzmN
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL1lxL0m6n
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAyrYMo2NN
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB7sqsMBxK
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RtRNtkgcm
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmuhnAb4NA
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7Hcaj71QN
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPvnvD1m1P
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU1iiWzMql
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gBpbdCoaF
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2Q6JdINzk
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnU2JrSpGY
我：當然沒有啊。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5P6IoGtx3
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM4qbnthMt
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwomZY0xvv
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVsVQIqMVj
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXHYNo5Wgc
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBrLIrT7n0
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJKAbxLsyE
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw1mtlaoZr
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqE7ZwXDHk
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fHjmhXRyA
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3kMPYGR2x
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7V5xcxA4o
Priscilla：係呀。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHRXEJr3Av
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH9D1uB3UH
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnVdKKOh08
（我對她微笑地問。）494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQ5T9fWeWd
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MRdDqp0JQ
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQyTLsJjzc
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpa5KrgcHe
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCXe7CdAh6
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZe6Oqjf7V
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy2x65IWhJ
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvUHH9qfUo
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgCkPoz45K
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDcQJ8buNY
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7BmmQS3lY
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiaj93qbde
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb2F78HwZF
我：不如就開個account啦。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6JQamOoj4
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP9hH5vhyv
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ5IbtvaXF
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP9Ft7OnZW
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdwBOq4iTb
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nDu8udPJI
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJaCdk4GZy
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD4SAXdMZ9
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4sCMoYBqj
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWCN3i3cks
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h6PTopHFp
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC6Vz5E12G
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5KnzxLGbi
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFEl1Lao77
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTtC8f0Uvy
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69ogt4SH3X
我：睇完先再算啦。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ57kh2W0r
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RkImC35Bh
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT1MBz6MO3
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajHxfNN1uZ
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6KXWimYZb
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv804QdYnH
-----大年初一的早上-----494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwxHBuRWVt
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiu9S7gKk2
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcw8fEhSqj
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOx3hklWm7
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDKZ7YzpkF
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlyTLOP7kq
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXElGfyvH2E
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvgmUSZu2K
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkXznhDOer
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QUR0d4nYf
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgx9VhqpLNX
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYduMz9rdPx
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NgXrwGAYp
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3gFHmiKaK
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQI1Hn7yK0
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdUWksBekR
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy3WcXNT69
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ7oBEhjMG
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNsIMAzAYC
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFMevAogIj
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhKJZXu0on
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeCOvy0YGC
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukQXZsHmBK
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7KH9PnRC6
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeemOcHMYll
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUg3zZMXcN
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fn8uArYY1
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo00cWE6ywT
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf1568yIWG
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8QFqFmPPg
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJxITYuIS8
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5Pmt8W7ua
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGks7voxfct
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ewtebOPyc
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUQk5n4o4M
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCJO7RF4Ra
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZVg6LcSw1
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14dEBQTgAT
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3rBTHu2S0
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQwTPZvCKM
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJP0J6JKQM
我：咁拍咗幾耐？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgbVLM2zTx
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE8vpLbVLi
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BL04zD1lo
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpsDdJgD2T
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn3VtWrWIo
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YpUe9BWgu
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiowbvLkkXj
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCbohw615F
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIizmWRgZ1J
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQtk8W02R9
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoatgB9MXt
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHluXDsYjn
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO1aUmWyor
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNk4WVdbQQ
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO5HkUPKvB
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAQ0GZxP4L
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZYslPN7zo
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm956u4dN7
說著，我又說起自己的情史。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX1Wai2d1M
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYZVmNvbwI
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4PNROcezC
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtsPk1XIox
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtDvzufAT3
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNqkWG2zcL
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRknGSRMXx
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaE63EaJsa
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CFrUrgrot
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4CCfCCv2H
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j7O1FnIJ1
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1En0qptiCa
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljOeQ4NZpQ
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJkSaD0kVT
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9lVilDa8p
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNokHX9XWRy
我：最後拍左一個月就散。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsSgJ28WG5
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbImbSaIL3
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zECFC1G91
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7EnKkfbSm
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UmCKDa9oA
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2xUkKgx1G
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3M4sc3ayK
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd7eSLcaEM
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqQdOS6jtZ
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLFZHDtFBc
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEQlfIU8fY
這頓早茶，以AA制完。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5pxGrqKI7
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cZJQ3DeF6
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGg0Ctyq9U
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjGBcKHmqq
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvOmWW0AMz
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtuiKMPDke
我：下次再玩啦！494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAwm1LlKFl
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jqNxJotfc
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOzXsMMVHd
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeV9ueaLhx
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIuAjwJJkQ
494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXppKaVXCv
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgRNmOKZv3
8964 copyright protection490ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIH7Iprla4 維尼

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