Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCJrwx3GNx
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyMC6X4Qsv
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrjpB2iPoL
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ahvNuEO09
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVee0inC2MG
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmij5FL5z8
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeaXRdXZHl
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42lge2Wf2x
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA1XgbS6YH
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoHHDTQjKu
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDNGDScTZx
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh7VjTf7S1
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOezkKNj84W
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRndi37dUA
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqLlOLds3W
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGY7ilbHLc
我：當然沒有啊。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsnjKxw1ET
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDEIxbWr2P
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsTWx6OcvP
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw1uBDM1kp
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyTC2JkEfO
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3qtHMXFdf
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6xv8S06Iu
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2xbE1Y2xj
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwslngidxT
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBTagsqr7N
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgEzt5KpDu
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsgWmUGf4V
Priscilla：係呀。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T0AMa0rLj
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKkEmDHMNk
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXWZqOarSR
（我對她微笑地問。）445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f7PCZUJKL
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Iu0TFQK4n
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5lhkYuZK4
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj6xwYDYrs
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjvBJjFkrZ
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmDxu6zDgL
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzJnbgtPxy
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ9KT1OyVn
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzad8FunLp
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XmPcmDCzE
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREV0kRhmS5
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgNZfUgBfB
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKa8KZ4YOM
我：不如就開個account啦。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QZOIb8iPf
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2h8z3qoKB
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3Ni9PQPPP
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkTTxJoREX
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17cHPChS3Q
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDNeJtyQnr
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsATHCrydDR
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NsmLWvGDr
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAa1nZnCW9
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJvV7nGUxF
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLM8ROsQve
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaaUkQOHKx
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHcyIoQHKI
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3macoyYQDy
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw4EGzeIqH
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbk24LfrKL
我：睇完先再算啦。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORmNTqOVVc
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s1hAmKyxE
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcdxapV66x
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcUgdFWJJ7
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUI1azAmrD
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJhz3fvESK
-----大年初一的早上-----445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeLnDaMN84
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCOJLWacwd
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDZEP5Nh1P
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHevcomcyf
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWPcLNl87E
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTiPawEQyX
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjclcNYkqk
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIGeHBrnEo
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPbH8WLMKP
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eC7SAa4QJ
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI9hopnqbg
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5U7tdSMc1
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSLmYypyl9
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK1eVtwxtH
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvKkHcgjZa
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX61XUk0Y9X
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnmK4FmlyO
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9vaDi6Tfc
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TFDfId5hp
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRB0hEjecw
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexymyWPb20
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtypJZBg5WF
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbplSwbRih
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThmyyYTMLs
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6TKjWepcN
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMZMa23k7C
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYVSq90Z82
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvM0IM0KfP
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWggY1LQkt
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOv7FV7EEM
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtf47jX3Xqu
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3VhDoLCg9
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHpeGslBxb
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYlxg4k8mc
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYX7dKE2Xo
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOXzglYk3v
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9dNPKl6Hn
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFLvBL5Bsw
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdntyMKv34
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5AKbZxrJP
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCIn29wpBV
我：咁拍咗幾耐？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlT7LnedEZ
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgV6nTrJiU
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZENfAnEgAx
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRKVq4EZCE
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFILl9kz9T
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFpT47OjjM
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxXRyre2z1
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38XhdHQzRt
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0RcZ18fPc
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJDCbdU7be
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeDK07ZgMX
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFau02SUcd6
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WrhhO0liy
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p8wRzEJZw
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQEBxPX7GS
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExDaTwwnhv
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtohEXq9Xsj
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4gV1w8jUD
說著，我又說起自己的情史。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEhZMG7U0V
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKuccmFIPj
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHkJZ0rQnl
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMug6zGB3E
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d7LnGMhmY
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlF92zmMzDQ
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8OOZ8Q6rk
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9kPAmeKMk
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdIuG60Yj3
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0Nh5hxR5I
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhII9R52iH
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIbRvxY57j
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqogNAAiIb
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPnx7Q2CQZ
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBdjipSAUB
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b4I8AHUSH
我：最後拍左一個月就散。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQenvLDHEa
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxGSaR3B3u
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLZmpYcLQA
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M2NtgBVnl
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEH1vqkGwj
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF7TqPxGPv
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjl4pJhv1E
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1duJlqlum3
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqT0pVxVxY
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82TIY3DEW5
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRCUDVl61o
這頓早茶，以AA制完。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugeaIqEVH7
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7bTSHY95q
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljgHPOa2yV
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11wOkZLM6g
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YlFGrgVXz
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9ICoKNJ3l
我：下次再玩啦！445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIbxnyCE9l
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp8QeDB04p
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxOf9o7TCh
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3swzJmm7o0
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKLggTZ5hq
445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78xD6uuUoF
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。445Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWirlrRS3y
8964 copyright protection441ＰＥＮＡＮＡHotTqCOcPN 維尼

3.138.202.226