Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFfoiA4wOl
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW0jlmVIPc
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYnPkfAQAO
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ9QsZZqZ0
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAInxUBp2oE
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZOvlr2I8s
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBV9LKjRKs
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnyS8HxKRH
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw1TBkHjbe
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OQlnDYLdt
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsxUouBabX
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO86MOrFw7l
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3rvM7ndpY
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZNbgyRRBj
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE7ryb8lHk
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnuljzCPYg
我：當然沒有啊。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwnoaXPB8A
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIOiktUJ4b
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzIKFLDZq3
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNF65TtJyoW
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbAx96GvVU
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi8I237AJY
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTezvYWA5UJ
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4ijDulCSz
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB40rEACSE
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvopdZWhqt
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EsI9u9CzT
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWiXI5GnL5
Priscilla：係呀。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgpySDonsa
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvRXq0cam4
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRqFqFoiNQ
（我對她微笑地問。）506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJY3jHUamD
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4ioeXudON
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgFKncG6ik
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpai9nur4TY
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioCEsY51U6
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qmdFMExxI
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiG8Dzmgmi
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9Xvhiqj3q
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxexUGnSv3W
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufIKbLrXxS
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i6EzcMw0d
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhv9myrdwzW
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vr0nmpZLi
我：不如就開個account啦。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CJZrOjX8c
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43aszNUY1b
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh7iqssdFk
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhaqvB2K9c
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLxpowuIF2
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ovn16TkN5
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCwKlxWiLY
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6puYC2rbp
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OAseX2f62
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeozvLVoYC6
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqWPpER2s3
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgnD7IkhEC
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp3zYKPj76
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EA1rcyjdt
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokMhB7dnSr
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0bpefHfiT
我：睇完先再算啦。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXnpODixZV
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFnBLOkBS1
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi4dTig9sE
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEHWBtmJob
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3bsJ1cThX
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkyNgQp1k2
-----大年初一的早上-----506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnz9JLWagA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ0UcrypDo
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39XBydIzRg
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8TJB3tVTA
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJGShQcZ1K
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB7dN9YyYp
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxbkgjv5FW
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9F5cQlhh3
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnkCDDf1sD
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeve92r7nLr
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJs2il1hfC
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv9cWGWprB
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDsnVilikt
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQedAYDOFM9
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1txLrGfBsK
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cp8tIuAkv
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFB0POgSHk
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrq4jRWA4AX
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzHHWoOXzn
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVv1PtUAcdP
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqNNhaTRAV
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPyI9htUFn
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmRhf5moB9
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvWXLCxqNQ
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd5THqB0Lm
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxaPbEiM0l
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdnv6U6NvA
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47QBoFrnzj
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzykGXLWt5
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLjgrlMnpf
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjP5o3Tr72
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vNvqV1fiR
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm1jwHBNYZ
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgQLn5dXVW
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhADfPE1p7O
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnbYPWsKYf
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUfnpYBogs
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8yBDAZu9I
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7riuuv3ud1
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxZNRJNO4w
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmrAtM11BM
我：咁拍咗幾耐？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjUkjnfWL7
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRcrasZyQL
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ75IGdcRj
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9IRWayXln
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvdvxkg3XN
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlsTcNsTKU
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xTlrA8iKa
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqecFigoir
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HpPoWSdjh
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ3CgYaR8u
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWeYBBPovj
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdBFhd84Eh
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9gONywxUn
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gsyf0kTiG
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabObskfT6w
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH5EGRhGoD
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB4nb8oAm4
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiQvqwakXW
說著，我又說起自己的情史。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7dccIjEqm
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0A40zK0dO
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7BT6t6MRK
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxm5QfQxtvZ
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk2vBfm2UB
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNm1UPvPHm
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCshEVnBrL
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL4jKvMEmi
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBebORT8af
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0d5Br4R1g
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhyZxj9x8A
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7klmfrvDRK
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k5yOPOpWE
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLzYKtF6yD
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyh9hp95Sd
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0n9gfuT6w
我：最後拍左一個月就散。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd8Z2DQ4U1
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEnrSuV6tk
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWp9IGdi0G
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVhR48Ti41
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFpg86qhJz
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvTeF2c36n
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtx3RTVQGD
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxgRV6oLi7
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwSaLIKxCu
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLNCgtLqUd
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0KWmJxJU8
這頓早茶，以AA制完。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawhauVDe2v
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uAIHvUlqQ
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPZU60cwDU
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayn1hHnIJ1
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhjpLDdQeC
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPqbztQgIs
我：下次再玩啦！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJfptIMCmw
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoitFgS0eb
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWB9W1WkIi
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVukX3a4Cl
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2cEIrV3Zj
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1pZeaMWsh
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJPoucsLE3
8964 copyright protection502ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24fRMXyxEy 維尼

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