Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbHQiWCCWk
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAy4QdKqYK
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaUb0Tvvfe
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcGgDTpwn7
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkzIMY7Ji7
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1uoTmus6z
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2BZSIuX2I
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzmNKs2zvB
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsPak01VyN
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0bvd7PXAT
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7wzdlvK07
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jmMXyXKos
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANiJt1G9x0
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPNWuvVuaL
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2pTOvdekp
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCddebSCGi1
我：當然沒有啊。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ6F7WsI3P
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7qnyeYxeZ
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk8VEHCJh3
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE3Momjfqh
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ484UYwsPcU
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIRD4tbD2e
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbckYfOKgZT
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLozXp7NI9q
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMixL018K3g
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjGscyX081
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40a53IvQQm
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnU1ZrHcry
Priscilla：係呀。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94ENm3jBpU
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d8lJXTizh
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurmKD5DtQK
（我對她微笑地問。）461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3dd1xEozM
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLmoYcsRCA
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5u9D0EkCV
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOygqmeZ1rl
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUb7njz5Oq
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLMKLFOGhe
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhQrd48iYX
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKg7j7b1Hl
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwXvtlDtZe
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c7eRDFMDX
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ762OiRnDlz
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXqQVrS5PV
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Cg7psr1vG
我：不如就開個account啦。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3yd6UMUEH
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYUtCd2zYT
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscM54DJcHk
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRc5mLPOJQ
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI27teBYQH
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0120uQ4dYo
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKThbUTRRYf
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDcvV5fbMN
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIh076EnBE
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K4f8Dqspv
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGwqDZk7Gc
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgbwEeqLK1
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVUBNqHPGX
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf5NmdKj8m
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTsS7ymPTt
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKLrxzNG5N
我：睇完先再算啦。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFJQmJqwoV
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO267GJW9hb
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmXzxQN1n2
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF4NaJE6Bo
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeJez3ICQ0
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHoFwuaW0l
-----大年初一的早上-----461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrr12C9a8W
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulJR3Aw2k7
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm77dXUEQQ
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7vkMc8nAg
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3nt7nA9pv
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v1DXRAcvZ
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMswrUeeIOy
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDDwZns0YK
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSd4FRfTco
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR3AQgYkuC
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxFRQ7bbSN
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S4aGOvLa8
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjZgfMVa8A
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwkvITb09T
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77oq6L5MHz
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDByklbc4n
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b1lcAKKqm
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghEmTRvgHe
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxgKDe8LYO
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ62ylZC9NJ
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEkeR9HA78
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWChO0eNwN
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1HcxuEObO
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cRiG5cnOL
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbK9fKZ9Iq
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVFS08UT49
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgOoz5Wc8L
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDbRXV09d5
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1QpSuE5tZ
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy9SF6IuOc
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aqWFsc1Zj
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp0C3rtODJ
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuhFuhExwp
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL78i47Cl5z
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDqHvZHfIc
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLvTGpXsBq
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrGYd1fXy4
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvzOFXSxZi
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkM5GWNnj1
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwB1QBxr4D
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObp9t4JObX
我：咁拍咗幾耐？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4wvgCuYfD
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTVQIHmXOC
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznnqeNerjz
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGFHvMEL0N
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPWodRrv6p
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxImusbRNoD
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv8aqYytMl
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE4PVjIV1o
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQhBdMSORf
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXofXAHVbU8
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZCdotgQdJ
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJj1PrLOyZ
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuNnJb85lK
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZmwREBpvX
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vDfVyOhb5
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIVXPmYYQf
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1p7RHwv2Y
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1iPSuYKxh
說著，我又說起自己的情史。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaH29npeO3
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4qTgt4zJb
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mdyzx4zvI
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuqKw2A1zu
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31JCg0qxvA
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJsgbufnBQ
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPriGQVyL4
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kbyUX9tHI
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeumLrajTKE
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklLhbDCkSY
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWaX0ioXpO
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjpk6BKXnS
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVchOm2BgMQ
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTwNgJwP5M
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPH1EwApo5
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cusPjdhg1
我：最後拍左一個月就散。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIWqFzDk1l
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX30s1qfDZL
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOyMWOMbkg
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodUcnwCSKC
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGgPoJiqNb
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWtF31aW5I
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIGiIHrjKk
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFO6S9kPju
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pZFG9pIPL
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpf2Rnu6Pk
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMoOYSI4pR
這頓早茶，以AA制完。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJrvp4NhGV
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXNHakVuxx
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJE3mkftSV
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdBCrYlOzJ
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNR5l9G53B
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW4G6anC8W
我：下次再玩啦！461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TbtVSriAY
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzEshyJbnM
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgReYpCARda
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAd6fW0XSk
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AnpDETo1o
461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd4jYUFnOi
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziBhg1nU1J
8964 copyright protection457ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJesrXM9g8 維尼

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