Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklvase7jfn
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbayP5XJBFJ
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRrjtptbBN
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QGkoFikhs
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XJYMJGVy3
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayAksVQvrq
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKQ8DwDT4y
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziC3GMNRmA
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSi1j4iWfh
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwe7UPl3mZ
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtMgEGi1vU
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJiPyTsUv1
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVRKjImCNB
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbyHZYOsCk
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9si0JeD8rA
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a2XIUgdP2
我：當然沒有啊。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcRj26YlxS
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU1SgW1k0T
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQTquUsJ7J
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq4ij19RV7
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDjouCXq5M
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwMcm1whgE
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCtUZgO8mB
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RxUmHtooU
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU57lqqEq9f
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDVEpBNi0C
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ui3570BSU
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1e8l5M0lb
Priscilla：係呀。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisI4p8M47L
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsoLURDEf4
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCgMJiSeJe
（我對她微笑地問。）503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeRmlgqVFs
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOS8l1l262
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbcJD8tLJ9
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp42YOyazsM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmeWrz3T9R
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0W0MdngJd
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0b6KD38Gp
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UGFgTN9I9
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXCtFPN7Yn
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6JIFYUMKm
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgico06bTi
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u0ljjth55
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC7jvD3bjN
我：不如就開個account啦。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K7dwFeiwj
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcGWoMBdCE
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI0nGBsOgY
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwvw4KfJmM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U1iuNrjNT
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPzPz6vf9E
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv7UaerH2v
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtasJFbulwv
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Nphni0iob
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7lDZJ4QQi
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKIUwChL7z
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgdQlKGpHq
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjY9vsJeBKw
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOcF3ku85q
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwd4mnoxDp
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oD6jwiOqX
我：睇完先再算啦。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgeEvCUEfN
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHWgJo4drU
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MoJawbllq
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVWOO0egFf
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90F2X34wWh
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjdvSOkGRb
-----大年初一的早上-----503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicJZTZ0yIj
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFXqWwfPs2
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrU5k8DLPD
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0JE1OoKXk
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqcFESO9tn
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEmLBo6mun
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIFsOOoPAI
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZXv9iwNcf
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQUQN58tVE
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIRpSjWOIO
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkjgfw1ZPz
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXXIcpslgp
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5eMSJ1jaD
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiVxiIrfxH
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j45ETNKWf
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnc0H05bzY
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZviy4dZd1
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VJp9Zs7Gy
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2DvgGIAgs
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1P4ZP1HbF
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMxLqD6VDM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOavB5s6nT7
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloDs1qA4gm
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCeRMxhBnW
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wPABPvZfQ
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1zVGt4kWE
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUgz2Pysjz
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ToMJAsSM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStHvtGt7mJ
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW9DmF1hgW
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhhDeKqUl9
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V1SRmXkcc
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxPKCdfzz8
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7WCorSnjm
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZehTcvEUsT
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdRhBbiTOs
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLSJJShA9s
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhN2t10i5t
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUE4qiDSYh
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUkASeAuvs
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87InEW9Xb9
我：咁拍咗幾耐？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fYNCsw3g3
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5bq9crhm7
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfq794Wep1
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbT7OrYoYt
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDrAeTEMSc
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSEl3oqURS
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7D0wBNES4
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmouhvH6wn
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTXx0izHZI
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3TEyWSGeN
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXia2K3gb0D
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbQQNqz4Iz
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vB9ZVRSoP
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6S2G1ohzL
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK96BG2sUZR
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fVOvwKLkF
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nLP9zxj3L
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIgOv0Ktv4
說著，我又說起自己的情史。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QUZOugy81
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnGl8uYZ3I
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5g8mYKYQs
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbFu6BBoUc
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN53PQ1zvl
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtu3gKkibV
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT5S6VyL8E
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssACP10P2y
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMnXh50sry
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzX418ywTXl
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Gpx4307x
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLz60sLqM5
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEDEp5B47W
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtSM3h6VnR
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXN4IKjE3X
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBUDJ6Dv7g
我：最後拍左一個月就散。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp65OP9jl8i
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvdAJo9rYM
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ200K3V1zT2
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4zpRFIdry
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LRvxty7Dk
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdfEdjGxtW
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ws3587lij
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANZChUbHQi
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrsFpW7VIX
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJgDrn34d1
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL1JVvaHXS
這頓早茶，以AA制完。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFoKTXQpJH
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bu3EPHI2F
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfVuDhmHtt
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmqYmTigzK
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OKSo1KM1T
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGdx32Uzi5
我：下次再玩啦！503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoBw8lODvv
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVhoe6wt2V
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCkRrlBymh
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhnnrMf07b
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxspDa48uEE
503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM1KnH5yEO
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。503Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffPQI2KJ6V
8964 copyright protection499ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LnXD6j3JQ 維尼

216.73.216.237