Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnMFzpaTdn
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP8gxGgip3
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxS0KgehcP
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQX7fDiKIm
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN2aKD7mwz
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrhcV7mB9N
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg49u0ZVRLS
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnQMtQUpoE
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zZ9o0QRcg
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tfm5yxWEC
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP43YTvUYSC
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJuLFcpMbh
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6thBdyZxHy
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCxMTeEfOI
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSXiJIzjKl
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4r6kXKy8k
我：當然沒有啊。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgf5gqswUN
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRTjNoLhUG
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcUuk275BF
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQcF0Jz5dU
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgoBZbDrtf
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZLxCo4uHT
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2niHLbwv8
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIQdQ1NZTi
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl86fZ7vhc0
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzovh3XoTjR
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xUZ481wJ9
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzkg6UnAvZ
Priscilla：係呀。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLhxSs5Pwl
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8KtYbZxs0
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgLHs3ZELV
（我對她微笑地問。）500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwwU0wfToz
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ouaLSak1K
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeQmdCeBbY
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaFR9uMXMY
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLHLgAd7dk
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo98hZJXVK
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL1C1koWQX
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoqqfxWlzk
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd2GHnn9fH
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnu6uQrnO6K
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByy5tsoGNq
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphPktKcFtA
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpY72i6jUP
我：不如就開個account啦。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5gY0lekuN
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzoP1qzI6s
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNyoZsEskC
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6JTgZ9Y7h
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAJG50RLjR
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b53Ma2AJH
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwRGD62K31
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2qAbUZ5iR
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfwx7yxVxn
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1hIQXxJW8
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvq5tNgEwq
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP2A3BoPei
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5hTNbjb8h
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat7DBUUnZf
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPoBbWRzTX
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi9f8emclo
我：睇完先再算啦。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4Di1jwznK
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwb5NPnyvu
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL1Zlcz3w9
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7HKG2vyDb
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfocCI7K66
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jhyydOzCY
-----大年初一的早上-----500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNKPotijsq
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUp4eolKSM
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILU4NzwnqJ
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpBrT3QwDl
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWpBWTKDKm
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SyNE03WL7
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOw6pVQSMAw
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPc8TvaJmC
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTcn0T9B8T
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvvy30YJKs
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzGS3FWHNj
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuyNNg5Wzg
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdC5L8H33eG
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeXXScWaiK
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorJ6uQk7Ya
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtP9XyWpTtn
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8wiPP373h
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOBFb0avGW
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg2u4vXbsX
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ53MeQ6Af7
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ix4Ivajra
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEkFZdtwJW
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5d82yHM9e
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr5czVSbXk
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdS0K61hdq
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfme3edPVH8
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5bDGUjFet
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhFYmcPRVH
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNy0VW8dif
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O2oxHfnnA
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhC43F54GY
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4d5tB9x25c
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmrWdyBhnB
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmONsVBbwn
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZRUvg1q26
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTBXLXIiLf
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6nBH5bfea
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCwYyPF23T
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnvo31scEB
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe715qWAUNh
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Yrx0ti2NP
我：咁拍咗幾耐？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaGUaxeU5t
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eZFLX3eH2
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuMKrs3qfT
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMPkL4EVd6
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA9YIxNwsP
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2KoTrRTBg
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoGgcdFOSV
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwRqq0PILc
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWoaF1g2Qp
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuT5RK2s1U
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAC2k4SWlV
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eZpXuy7Vt
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OpDv3U1DE
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRz0NlfRJf
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysbe68tDdx
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWTWZ3tGIU
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PnhFlcSII
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI5ShL0IRQ
說著，我又說起自己的情史。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJpjwk3sG7
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4iJ1PASpX
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvj0et39Bft
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUA7d4zcCT
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9FHnJhWa2
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDsTkj5xUG
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vFPgGl365
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVBLJLyPbq
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmToWOtE8G8
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeTiPLci7g
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGDRIR4Ap2
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo2Jj5Lin5
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLNffavrCb
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF6PtdkKIn
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcm4LWQGYA9
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfKQJGZ6OI
我：最後拍左一個月就散。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujgSExbaKM
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kLYJs8Sb3
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwKn5lCjpi
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSNYmDHVZt
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyC1Z2Dkr8V
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gxNh0DSpx
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1cXoSfwk1
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdkMOXiHll
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ko5dU20UF
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPsFxzO9pb
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqBWqqb7AF
這頓早茶，以AA制完。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x6KkMTuKJ
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChqkT92s3n
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1CrBd4aYv
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzr6ilIITZ
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZvC9mm2La
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97WWaaXhtX
我：下次再玩啦！500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeZQlXh06q
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxyAIIudee
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe0gXH3FTd
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdCqJ2LgqL
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvKdL20nLB
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAcDKdBM4e
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRcbv2VRKi
8964 copyright protection496ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT6VIzHikO 維尼

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