Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpQi7s6pBL
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4VPoSG1tw
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5IAhjks3y
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU91BoACvnH
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoNNu9yhcm
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PA9D6Sjhb
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRSVtfgEBP
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0PYPKN7qE
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREm17yx180
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbySKDBwoI1
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskfUtksNzB
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX8FWqRkIm
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPrOs9NUJY
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tUVcriHGx
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLgD1Kpz1g
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvWmbz7ho8
我：當然沒有啊。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY8V3AMo49
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9hsXNL0xu
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB2PcZ0cJZ
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtOjWej3S8
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsABF7PVEcJ
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLECCj3h12
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniNIeU3lhX
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PrTHEgyZL
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXZxvQcuYZ
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrb21wDEL6
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt99gQjbO3T
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dVmM7MZCu
Priscilla：係呀。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5PeajRu0D
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjzIvhG9Vy
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBjc3oiMV8
（我對她微笑地問。）646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhF7n0D1O9c
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKpfHOPtiX
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvq4XhRvFv
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESxbX1APFa
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUlByNdp5V
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu2vn11YUM
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOCtDKUbCu
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qLgx5rnQS
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2eNAjUI1W
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgEkZLKSTU
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo2F7AsKBk
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwHpkZgE04
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJTuLdEb3m
我：不如就開個account啦。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NTKtzeYij
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6FRV2WP3t
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cJyme449O
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAUfYlP1FN
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkc5cxNrJEg
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1CUS5a5kY
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVB6qgYdu3r
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvr3uzCUku
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfx1MjWHFI
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7eXqpZu5E
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHDRn9BNd4
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30LW4j6zkx
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdnFdjcFB0
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWPKVDVK9Y
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEyc9MTzMA
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIK53rFUpP
我：睇完先再算啦。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yFtvILW10
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0T49KskEa
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksE75x5hMN
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2ZErxN28N
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW63I6DI4T5
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nt7SBZ6CU
-----大年初一的早上-----646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPX2iqJukx
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt7Clv3lbv
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00QLMuL7RM
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyq8c7jgv1c
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkowQi0rB30
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqqzmXcZHB
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONDD1JI1Qe
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWQdN0zLQO
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AZIR3Rdia
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFWTDqjqHk
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGcdjFEIGh
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBZim3e8Zh
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAo67Qzuwk
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6LUqkKyUo
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqtcZzUI9L
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlXgxnEQ9a
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfati3P6l2p
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaeQtoRvH3
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGnlOVvFXj
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbSOSuHluG
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1iTCat7IT
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqTS4UZQ4U
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmGUa3SIXS
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAoeL4TSgQ
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjpgNnjsbe
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdyyopUEAQ
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJpPuK8xRI
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkd7ZBPrsp
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7bbzwuW6u
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHkHP68TSG
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R7O8GC3JB
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUEHsBTb0k
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXj8nT3YYs
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt9TgoakzN
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn45bw6rIn8
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jGK0XqRbT
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9z00OwyU2Q
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRunWO7t1l
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kDcxtdplP
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNW2AXLvdB
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlo6Y6hZiU
我：咁拍咗幾耐？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhoVQVuYNf
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkcW05i8aJ
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMG5FmPJfBy
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbo7Fnt2Du
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxhDldhyQH
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG9SFJZjst
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF4UhkHFKv
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWu4yYwr3A
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G3ZK6uDR8
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMtFIacq59
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Dunq52eQx
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6SO8RiHdS
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIBULWcPpH
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqAn4jyM8c
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvudx066niC
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDQHH4NZJH
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnihrYZ1Z3
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgdNAmZkAT
說著，我又說起自己的情史。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6928hVpSmU
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV9GtnGmut
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBI21qn41p
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyvKtwpVJu
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLlihZEQEz
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTODmloq6s
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV0Cjp9GD6
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Zaaokbez
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUrwsUQGK0
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYahlUdMQl3
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXkOdXj6P9
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE9aNRrrMU
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWXYSHt3UV
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN42SwRFPC
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w29y9QJ8I
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRGL6I0Ero
我：最後拍左一個月就散。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajL07sjKDo
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFaneUNibY
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbGxxcVtrR
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy7ovALsHz
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyU3U8BbFG
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFAtqzyTwm
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x0kSGyR2F
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgScbI4M1Ki
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ09VPWOc1h
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkND03FUrj
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiyvaLFOkV
這頓早茶，以AA制完。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2J1beb6F4
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsoADXGl3K
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENzHzBR36S
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOe9PHh2bc
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6jYFdLUX5
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XYvmQ9axH
我：下次再玩啦！646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYeHaNiMdg
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQcEbrcL8Z
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsprNIwccE4
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi6uArqvyd
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfUjb1En99
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXQRQNx5DS
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGF4Jm9UDs
1234 copyright protection642ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68KzzmQPmE 尼

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