Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7W5xPa3nS
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQGb4iptvf
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnI5yHSaxb
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4NUKhmox9
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxcmtfektM
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eW5AXyK74
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboIxeXR5mD
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dEJOHG7Ma
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHq8CvylBV
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oJJTTQFv7
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yOkVqyjAS
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkryAK4QEo
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFnuk9qBMR
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqcmA9i3OG
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw34aBrkwdy
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7hboDLBCz
我：當然沒有啊。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYxSZC0O97
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TltDolMnI
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzIGx22dgB
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kiDKILVHY
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqteEudsP4r
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1VI0XxSK9
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCCnfZLPL7
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHkTxLK79E
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCDcNnTSMT
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnilOp3WYLW
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPp5yxGtHoj
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50A3kkhj8p
Priscilla：係呀。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvkNlt7Qh2
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZe1GiK0RNU
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX4ocAfr8L
（我對她微笑地問。）492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp1BsEl2FN
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yvgIcyBxD
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlqvKPAtEh
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhCNzAFOG2
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1BQKvfHn0
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSCkUfRrsI
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXj7BkEkav
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYjjrkGpk7
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZRt6RqURy
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDJYx668J9
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotFbyB7fi4
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUywVwRIICv
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC8tWsRM5x
我：不如就開個account啦。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIrQyv7HBI
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsWsvzJkC2
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKE0kiagihw
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN7Hwe15j5
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHHSTeILXE
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGARsZwvA4N
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtP5SO11J6
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh87Nak8dS1
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl3UzpkJB6
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7pXvaIcV1
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡactUSbAtKl
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYeBMeFE2O
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkuM906jDe
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kvSvZhmnW
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBypRGtdBV
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDAEafh2Uu
我：睇完先再算啦。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2boseIP379
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBdnGP2Gpf
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96obMWsmyq
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OlOeQXu7X
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2Aqh2Am8d
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBVjpkpNKz
-----大年初一的早上-----492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF8Vibv7MD
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTwcz3IXiW
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckQtUa34YY
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGEh9seBrK
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbW2iy05R8
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4ESff77Qu
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ1g87lo05
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD8Mij0yzR
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W3s6qES9O
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwfnabiuqG
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAqZbMqKyD
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7SkBsnD67
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuXyXcEd3k
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvJBzDv9By
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIXe47syqF
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NP4oN6pdN
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQycGk4cffV
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fjBKtSkth
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWXrqk8IKn
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWufueJefZ
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dmnED4NHa
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuM0yWSY1P
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLdMvdE6tB
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8KH6om5dO
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN54FAVfLeg
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRdCKNzWUn
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1BVFbGyZc
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT1UyA6qDD
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cXzkHKmqH
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfFzNg6Hjn
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g1qRJIHbd
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxGFaBT5V4
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuZLZzo4Iq
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGoSBy7ggc
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YdYKLzDMu
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW2LWzGtzU
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83pcTr60SR
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjZr1aq7Ui
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQ9GBfhSVS
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CcB38DqcT
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhEu0wkEAK
我：咁拍咗幾耐？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7LQzhzXFJ
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRGIClHR9P
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kjMR2EJKG
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmA4XkH8eD
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pzEihAEv4
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zutFyenuV
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxjQtfT3rr
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVV4cQYdrM
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2F6uNxvuy
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NPdSAydXp
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyQ2QSP4Zo
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7WocZ6sVq
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFAJrp6tHp
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TDsENFMQy
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6iwMrGnLK
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJN3ELPjbiu
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUrpvVMHB3
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3vhIq0fY3
說著，我又說起自己的情史。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXT48yjGOp
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl19YYofwnK
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3G3RpByv1
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH0FfFTtIf
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX564bYl04Y
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0486eRrjfW
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrzHgC8REW
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYloEoaxYN1
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf0ul9CYFX
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGndVehdjUY
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGatjbrX6xa
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcaMpSmLPC
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1vhgbmQ0h
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68UX1vff6J
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLRGQUc0Ho
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAiNZhRhRb
我：最後拍左一個月就散。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoB5k2XuqQ
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5ig3zH2zx
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPjVqyGhMx
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY6iUdTIed
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSf5LaXz6e
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTYEMyimQs
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3YLnMJLGp
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqiTC2jq77
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs7KcNzsXR
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatZ4AlUxC1
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuCHiHGUjn
這頓早茶，以AA制完。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHREKq4a8F
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdboe7F7bJo
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLgOZHA3bZ
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM559T14UOF
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGDwxD14x3
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASoBa30rT6
我：下次再玩啦！492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2UiYglWMV
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1ZJ3A47El
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmg3gRIMJe
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30tWfnYPH1
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kjTYW0bjb
492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu4Pzf5xCk
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。492Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmY6GTGcwA
8964 copyright protection488ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPRLy1UH2B 維尼

216.73.216.72