Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RrQwM4Kp1
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ent2f57rv
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrlr7ciW6n
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ghFsKSseC
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocbO7IhoMV
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VrfLD8ze8
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3aflS4Y9e
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyQszMf5mh
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpSRL1hE4w
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWtxNsKeUM
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC9CxnDQvM
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfmjEQxPJ7
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4N0HCdkmL
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8s4P1VhtCa
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPGCnLl71y
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE0tNsViTy
我：當然沒有啊。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8JAuZq24S
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrb5tod4Rt
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuKfu68X0e
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfauMnA0LQO
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICWiA07Sxy
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsohVW5r7aL
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7h1QmAzCV
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPVirNhjkd
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tUMX9RqWr
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFPttXmmRs
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyD5xaggW7
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYSTJq2TRv
Priscilla：係呀。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJSDuWCLYJ
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3IICmccME
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTUiVPxdJB
（我對她微笑地問。）426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEH4aRIg4e
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95ElPBoxez
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllcqtvkJ7t
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuYsRHML9T
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VuwDbwuQH
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2tXB6t729
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83tM5BEBgy
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zCZDGGcIl
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOahEDGC0oQ
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygzhELkMiv
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9FShVzraA
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDz0ZU6i9fi
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZ4PHczGwB
我：不如就開個account啦。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAq4WCwZ8p
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgxzeGSuk5
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvE22qW8cz
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspm5c7bvN4
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DCwNHlIpV
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPTwdQN8lf
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQe0FYmSDXx
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNjkoMJIdi
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXZskC2rr5
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqzPCtqiy2
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjhP2XfBj5
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMwo25o2Bn
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf18czNvaYY
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx2iCFrmpc
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiDqCxoW3O
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJPCM6qiA7
我：睇完先再算啦。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzQiLsZTku
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvovS0B7Fa
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtrCeqAw6k
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFAB3hwD0K
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFaFws9Bsv
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4HIlBPd0m
-----大年初一的早上-----426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZgCIO5uxn
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1mq0T2udR
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFtq4FEHTU
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj3deCoq7R
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl9Bdil641
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGbJrHFzOQ
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5n5iAzira
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKt9hSmmvwH
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIp4RiJ3jV
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUMRVfaTKE
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQAT2v47yO
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdotJQLTtB
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDm9BMJzZM6
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIcc7xrxiS
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBgwHERf0A
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bemJ6Rf52
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdyMBwouft
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIbG8sr63b
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mfhVoIWqy
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5pPbKjGb4
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdf5tKQkMI
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtMUKBGEmh
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzf3koDwq5D
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAWQXFkHAf
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2dIS9btVE
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40EmwcHhcd
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbLcgVpxMV
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD25xeoGfJ
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSVWY0xPs1
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXeM4maMyL
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4fUB1zkAK
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41gLXOzli3
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKF0T09piB
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjW0TWsIZAX
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBV8fGaiUox
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhphj9wsUH
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8UA1TF0mN
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjX1HgoLgA
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAaf3owVs7
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5fhPgzMl3
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqxH2YG8Kx
我：咁拍咗幾耐？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRbcue1Cn3
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDIuJebGdr
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlc0YoZItC
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p7OSVBZIW
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bGehE7Rag
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEhkJrZ4NT
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyBEuXK5i2
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gxy0lyjfM
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20gIng6LNi
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkT9pS08A5
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMixkOAw9I
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdGaveqz4m
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTYwIqR7ni
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuMeBgPmwG
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2QmBjZIgd
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eqLcH7C9I
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsXGsHM9Gh
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOzyli9eCl
說著，我又說起自己的情史。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHrUNCWJzm
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCvOzPW5Iy
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuiSxENPpZ
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5n78HGxsM
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccL6O9XOHI
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgHO4MTEMB
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgFFQtJ967
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca9T9VFDZK
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmqHcCJLii
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyL7c7jWGH
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbnKrtUHXT
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbKWL9GhpP
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tZiTVustN
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrYPsV5Oaj
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRXH7mKlZb
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6CVl1jZyO
我：最後拍左一個月就散。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwWl8yFkPp
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q8JDfLRTn
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNWt9i05pn
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uL2I5pOsq
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWWxQY0aCP
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKiUXtoWLi
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGPKboAhat
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4no01gPJBe
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd1j3JIgHE
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWukIUhDWC
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKsgMBQ0ya
這頓早茶，以AA制完。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB9ZXor4BN
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OvcOXwaWq
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEDC33hA32
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2qvMeTyoY
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zzCqxyz1E
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVunYACiLHj
我：下次再玩啦！426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDkroUS1x6
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwUibeyywK
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrC1xJqBnHY
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMspN3GvaaN
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiie0Ru8lRA
426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtixtjfoDbC
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrwV0aFlBY
8964 copyright protection422ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFSmXXh7OK 維尼

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