Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNhxP1vhe0
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3Tc9YQAiE
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYG4BzpUzP
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbpx5y7swl
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw9SxX2BK3
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y8REPxg4t
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWlgNtVCTS
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU313OcpdeK
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5CJxZtk9y
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVyjY29tio
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jn5sy7vKC
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauR3rCtbYq
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMaOJMHpIu
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37Phs0WkMp
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzjogq0pWQ
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9cHe46NCN
我：當然沒有啊。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gKk6VuvO3
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Co57KeBj2
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSamSRlTbT
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTIbkrPaKA
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv61Bp6d1YO
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFddddcFi9
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGryxrnZkxv
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyLTef7AYe
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdY2nY8X6aY
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4XuFLAHix
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhA8LIwTbKD
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYEwEU58cB
Priscilla：係呀。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAOlgxbyMU
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqeq1DW8nv
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix18pFazH3
（我對她微笑地問。）647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj0CIvloQo
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VvOqXWh2I
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCRhdw20BP
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc37HY7pBR
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0MbEFPQNk
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDTF65lj0N
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9PyfC5aSV
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvyjGroNve
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0BF4hSWxR
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOGL1QBC6c
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XI2WDD2gD
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH24vJPFSV
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYsg1qqDNi
我：不如就開個account啦。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJKrxuAmD7
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQbU4Uolg6
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAVTOlBYVf
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yW6SLeDOc
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGrzEtuHiy
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRMklMpfGl
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9gVJS84BN
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8nEWlUqFR
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtDNVjiaCf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMChj5k1bZ
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FUxw8ekVM
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eRrl42nds
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ890g3qvGwb
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiJQTnMZ6s
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYumAJmQFUf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdDtGPjoG7
我：睇完先再算啦。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdII9vAwwCn
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33hywosscA
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpSx2q1MpV
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpus51fBcLA
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRIOdwVy7e
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOyLQGMSyl
-----大年初一的早上-----647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlqw7E7AJl
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya0w2TmDtQ
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vwHLnKsS5
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBin1xdqHu
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBrpu83Sg6
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCRThGlQeZ
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNME4MNIiS
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVf6m1zUSJ
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxeal1g1L8
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wWE2ey5hp
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRc2vonsVGl
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJwRwzhXWL
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1upDk6o5He
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPyg3IBIG2
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ7UbM9rcK
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0A7EMaXnF
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq2rkolFz1
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhMuO6v6CJ
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1JdIJyqnK
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZLDz5nYuH
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNmqfhbgX4
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBzYjcuT2B
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC1E9PqFDZ
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIxWBaokRC
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiORbFTHsD
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhxZjbNbux
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C2NB7KtkQ
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09AnsFxZkE
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL5vbVZSQs
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInPMg1gkHU
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfTrwBDpYI
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAYgISsN0n
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs8dEQJ930
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MOmdyYGrB
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1xz7VFArt
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7roZ51EO0
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qu3ZBEatx
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFSiWD50VO
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg3Eq7afPK
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt09Tx7swhj
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4J0z8cMl7g
我：咁拍咗幾耐？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5zefgDCKn
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi1X1DtCHg
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh44POnUsw
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQZYSQWQFy
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnpVlbwK1G
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMngx0K1Ed
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CiuPAbKAh
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsSMHsBxiE
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUwsk0nVxx
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pidvRQE0E
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEwTg2THUf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCVhAS6aBf
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaOJGzv3pz
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM57KHUnzch
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E9J4Acbrq
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswWNfB37WG
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfOhNILuQ5
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00rxSFPtxz
說著，我又說起自己的情史。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlVQgHSSdk
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRvVoKK3Pl
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpajmGZiRd
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6bqrhPqVI
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5b35H1cJg
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ANCJtYCmP
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiyA8u4f95
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1wjgU2b8u
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWRy01fw71
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsFShSjGgU
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChPH2lgYaO
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0xvxGdeNp
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLO3fWnOIc
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6jDJvX9iS
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEA925LCyZ
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf0bv3NqKu
我：最後拍左一個月就散。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepNRFloNkP
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WVwPhBhcq
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXEK4HQTBG
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdaVU63bR7
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs7tbGqkuS
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGwOkq00jJ
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZvSOC5hs8
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjKhWuqKRt
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIwVBZFLTV
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3Gdjlu83P
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb1lf21yIr
這頓早茶，以AA制完。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWPQv7krJ8
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxcl0XNG9J
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpAT7SA9pb
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcrY4DAFTX
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiybdvP5nlc
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAOwwmdCrz
我：下次再玩啦！647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7mdjrkv9P
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qE7yUOItM
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEidgmdq30K
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOik00sezG
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfyvqxprOg
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf5qst4S1b
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfuOrjY6y0
1234 copyright protection643ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61iuOtPsgU 尼

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