Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfucnbKxQx
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQNqoRC87G
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUHVCaSyJ7
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNWmzUYnmr
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1IRV5yqfw
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZ1XakqsFv
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikEXExrTfn
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R34C0MBGB
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0PWvx8Qpx
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgiJ6PMKnK
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTDXA8igEE
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblisY0eapG
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9drGhmcm2w
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9do8BK1crj
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXtIFMLn0g
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV16xNoT1Dy
我：當然沒有啊。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBdbYVgnyr
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8bK3TUhil
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1Rles3Nvf
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWK1lhRXg6
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvRb9c8bTt
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0Yd1chMua
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQU6VGn9PC
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1SpDMh1sq
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7a4MT8tfO
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc0aNQbxDB
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZhwWKtg4S
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o1UM6j3cS
Priscilla：係呀。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIikJ7pu2h
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoxYcPbUb4
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPJcnPR0eD
（我對她微笑地問。）467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEwRBOpYf8
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwgpTRayaX
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQm9yzuwKo
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQGrP4fRNP
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN6TwTv1St
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQpsxEfW1n
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkt5QwtArb
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP73GTHMfW
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn74f0supK
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAFsmytXed
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpo8SUjRDr
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqqRiXEJkz
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4pLJI1WWM
我：不如就開個account啦。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCUT6wSZa6
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGI6fFDlq0
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ525gpzGvrZ
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJP0At56XH8
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPseJL98RlR
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpZqtckGcb
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kTFDzF8gX
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16G6xYgKej
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCuOtKSAXA
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWkQqVCcdE
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfn1GlHUnf
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEMfJYyITp
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl6MWLfIC0
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAewkyauB4
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqh1myzHX3
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGk6UenP8l
我：睇完先再算啦。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYV9hoWyIu
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa4StKq7rv
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLlxc31pwq
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV5il2qpfb
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aFKEw4Iog
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDUhX7Yb4Z
-----大年初一的早上-----467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDjRjLSFaN
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbniUgzdYrQ
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4hiXZ4wk3
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pDBCfYjQn
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wgwHuxI8R
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgIGx63330
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnZLP5XnaR
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z4jphO5Dm
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqTx2n5H1l
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehB6IwCnRo
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlu1Wgmh9S0
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJheXXMGsE
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t2yxwYDHJ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTADkjKG4F
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwQiW00VwP
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8jfEqF0Y2
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEYLUnVCAT
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFnVraO6uK
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaolxNFr7Qh
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt1JE6k8JD
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLylFE0kmH
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7WYaqHtxT
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16cSJcUMV0
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBMbZMafO5
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFBX8kw3vK
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0fbQoKYBt
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFuH5KjLUI
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjovkPCgFM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnP73KO9a0
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmNNi6K0QF
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KaAkvFKoQ
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT8zLbzH4A
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sqV36SkTn
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NyktBWnSM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT9cR08PTX
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMQTXK03vJ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCstxxmxxU2
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuMKcgcmZP
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV6fnoNDih
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjX3iAJVGO
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hfxAFoKNu
我：咁拍咗幾耐？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDPXTsh2X3
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsgHSNUOv3
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhm5Wx3vdp
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHsBiXlJQT
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zcxagKrKW
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OJwIqdCXG
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRJhhcdxyl
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYQDi1Qo7U
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNroUBrSJx
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk5bqgBO5M
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwcli4gwmX
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdue1igMpYp
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLMAJ941Ok
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdFmCBJqaD
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRispYKOCc
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFYlcOvFDR
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfnnrCPX6P
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPfDRAZUf9
說著，我又說起自己的情史。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIcg2bqbIN
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPgMlXs45V
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFTZMCm3hb
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe2OasFKDN
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDV7yglA3C
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0Cjk5f3Ls
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRT1fNuQJI
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyPgYI1dye
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMmouc78qp
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVzHyVMcSg
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4qs6uiEMM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarXfrWL2P2
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehIUQKhlez
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJD8uop2sp9
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMhOtexHfp
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6um318liR
我：最後拍左一個月就散。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29kfGDJoUn
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf85dICHXg
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3FXNGaFds
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVem994oMo
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT6W9QXyv7
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNhFRKB1SZ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRFrlKd5b1
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCkXjj708F
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mCaEEvyxx
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV6MWer4tJ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkqvuR5VoV
這頓早茶，以AA制完。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuki1WaJuOf
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRTbmIJPIc
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5kuQjdyU4
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCLaiWlSMQ
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH83eIKv6EQ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WWWmoSpN8
我：下次再玩啦！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznkdwUFSvZ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwesbId6Oo
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWD65XkMH6
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQg6ar1adL
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHZDZSeKFY
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx84KtfQghv
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UOb30O6Eq
8964 copyright protection463ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqs4y3GZmx 維尼

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