34Please respect copyright.PENANAN5xh5PvD7D
▌類型 短文34Please respect copyright.PENANALEq8lVaxkU
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
34Please respect copyright.PENANAzlpLRcv6kR
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。34Please respect copyright.PENANAO2c7SNxUw4
34Please respect copyright.PENANAUc9uXutRpv
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。34Please respect copyright.PENANAhbXauxJBAX
34Please respect copyright.PENANANNGIo9Em24
34Please respect copyright.PENANAOv1P8XDBPL
點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧34Please respect copyright.PENANADcWOtq7k1K
34Please respect copyright.PENANAqs8XpgoKdu
34Please respect copyright.PENANAPgfCSitFKG
34Please respect copyright.PENANAOOlNeGMLcN
另外就是有幾點建議:34Please respect copyright.PENANA1z2zpFBBQJ
34Please respect copyright.PENANAozUByBfgc1
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。34Please respect copyright.PENANABXOyS7SYOJ
34Please respect copyright.PENANALQdVAeUock
(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)34Please respect copyright.PENANAK2hfRdEubM
34Please respect copyright.PENANAxHEueTaVAL
2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。34Please respect copyright.PENANAtLcsNVXlzb
34Please respect copyright.PENANAyXLv0ZTaIR
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。34Please respect copyright.PENANA0ip4fACfWS
34Please respect copyright.PENANA9d2caSndqF
34Please respect copyright.PENANAnVWX477KZQ
以上。