《為閣下而設的精神煉獄》- 第貮章 - 粉碎心靈而行 - EP 26 及星晨之名

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Miloecute | Secret door

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EP 26 及星晨之名329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkA8LQytWW

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果然我什麼也不懂329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTADKSKRH0

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道理是走投無路，往往做出最可怕的決定，將自己的身份隱藏是社會的常識，但常識不是人人皆知，總有些未曾見過世面的小鬼，在緊要關頭才壞了事情，最令人憤慨的則是殺死人的無知，作為保護著毒玫瑰的籽苞，是無比地難以察覺，但意識到危機之時，已經是死期

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鈴木花子的瘋狂是危機，一發不可收拾的歪念，構成安危的因子；基米爾的本性是邪惡，是擺明的威脅，兩方皆知，才相對輕易防範，因為，前者沒人知道其真身

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一方如炸藥，另一方如野狼，死物和活物；被動的殺手和主動的獵人；無差別而無故、為目標不惜代價

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我，點燃了前者

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「大家也是宿主」一句簡單不過的陳述，卻是送出了亡願的訊息，壓死駱駝的最後一根：將對眼前不幸連接這個身份，因此才姑且説服到自己保特理性的原因，是刻在基因，逃避的本性，然而打算帶進墳墓的祕密，被告密了

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同句表達著：「沒有可信、依靠的人在我們之中」逃不到何方的壓力感，迫使人絕望

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討厭的自己，這個身份毀了自己的所有，而告訴你，他人同是一個身份

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沒有了理由去給予身邊的人支持，不在經歷了一身的種種之後

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「宿主」一詞，在自己這安享十年太平的天真小鬼口中，吐出來，以單單認為是説事實罷的口吻，才叫人把厭惡往這處向來

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「社會性致死」，當初，不對，我相信到此刻也好，大家也是⋯這樣⋯

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和她一樣，她所說的一樣

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『對於無知的你，所有人只會默默地憎恨且詛咒著你的無知，因為他們知道你的無知，因而不對你怎樣，因為⋯⋯

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⋯你不值得』

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為什麼？

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我就可以這麼沒用？

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因為我不肯改變

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因為我害怕

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恐懼著

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太天真、太愚痴、太無知、太軟弱

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背棄真相逃跑

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這是⋯⋯

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我

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這只是我

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我就只是如此的爛人，有著如此的爛命，去禍害他人，是個災星

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我是被命運寄生的毒瘤

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注定的⋯

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要不然⋯可以有什麼理由，解釋我所做的所有

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我是負累，這已經說明一切

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我想死了一了百了 ——

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「⋯不要離開我⋯⋯」

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依奈子？

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纖細，與其這樣説，是泣號才對

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震動鼓膜的聲音，微不足道又好，足夠令自己從昏迷的毒素中蘇醒

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小指微痛

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但少許的痛楚，便能把意識從油池中扯出

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我不知道頭暈有沒有絲毫稍息，但我感覺到炎熱終於在眼框上流下

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「⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrI62mrEWl

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一言既出駟馬難追329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPImdsnOui

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反正如果你的願望成真了

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你會幸福的話

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我想知道

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我會去明白

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