Ashton was late to class by five minutes which didn't bother him since his head was going in all different directions at the moment. The teacher marked him absent and was annoyed when he had to stop class for a few seconds to mark him late. "Is there a reason for you being this late to my class?" Ashton was on his way to his seat hoping no questions would be asked, he takes a seat. "Sorry, I had to speak to someone." The teacher rolled his eyes and didn't say anything else. Ashton wasn't sure why teachers and professors cared so much in university, his sister was wrong about it being more laid back. Ashton doesn't focus throughout the rest of his classes of the morning, he is frustrated as to why what Pheonix was doing or saying to anyone else. The bell rang for lunch but he wasn't sure if he was hungry, his anxious stomach set him on edge.
At the table, the boys took out their phones and played 'Call of Duty' Ashton just sat there and stared into space. Trenton gave him glances but was unsure what he can do at this point. "Yo Ash, pull your head out of your ass and join us." Ashton pretended to not hear, he saw Pheonix with that guy again, he gripped the table's edge and gulped hard. Trenton saw what he was looking at but didn't react. "Hey what the hell, you good?" Gail waved his hand to get his attention. Ashton blinked out of it, Pheonix and that guy were at their table now. "Yeah... yes, I am good." "Shit dude, what the heck is up today?" Gail always had a very different way in showing his concerns, he adds extra curse words and acts more sarcastic. Ashton shrugged, "I guess still feeling sick today," He forced a smile but couldn't get the thought out of his head. Ash couldn't take it, he had to get up and go somewhere else, he saw that those two had gotten up and left already. Ash didn't care, he had to leave, the anxiety was eating him alive. He bolted up and walked away, "Yo, where the hell is you going?!" Gail shouts but he ignores. They look at each other in shock and are unable to know what they should do. Trenton gets up, "And where the fuck are you going?" Gail was confused and irritated, "You two been having way too many secret conversations." Trenton sighs, "Look, this isn't your business, he told me, not you so it's not like I can just tell you." Gail stood up and looked like he wanted to punch him, so that made Kayden alarmed. "I'm his best friend, not any of you idiots, you guys are just close friends, so if anything I should know whatever the hell it that is going on with MY best friend, not you!" Trenton rolls his eyes and lets out an averaged sigh, "Maybe he doesn't trust you!" That made Gail feel angrier, people were looking now. "How dare you, Ashton trusted me for 5 years now, get out of here asshole!" Trenton scoffs, "Well by telling how you act sometimes, maybe he feels otherwise." Gail punched him, hard, but Trenton didn't even fall back or stumble, his glasses went lopsided though. Trenton laughed and backed away, but not because he was afraid, because he was walking away. Kayden and Dustin rushed up and held back Gail from going at him more, knowing Trenton, they knew he wouldn't fight back in that such way. "Exactly my point." He laughed, shook his head, and went after Ashton like his original plan was to. The room was quiet, there were ten minutes left until the last few classes of the day began. Gail walked out angrily and the others just stood there, unsure of what this was about.
Ashton has never felt this way before, what was it? Was this a panic attack? He didn't see where he was going, his world was spinning, voices were distorted. He wasn't looking where he was going and ended up bumping into someone. "S...sorry I-" Ashton wanted to die, it was Pheonix and his friend. "I...was just going-" Pheonix caught Ashton from falling over when they bumped into each other, "Are you alright?" Ashton let go of his grip very quickly "Yes." He was out of breath and his heart was pounding out of his chest. "Are you sure-"
"Ashton!" Trenton ran up behind him, "What hap-" Trenton looked up at Pheonix and the kid that's in his final class, he recognizes him from the cafeteria, they were sitting together and were probably the ones together this morning. "Hi Miles," Trenton says plainly. Ashton fills up with hatred for him even more as he finds out his name. "Nice to see you, Trenton," Miles responds. There was obvious tension between all of them. Ashton walks away, "See you later..." Phoenix says sadly. Miles and Phoenix shrug and walk away together.
"Ash you need to slow down, where are you going?" "I need to be somewhere else to calm down." He goes towards the courtyard where there's usually no one at this time of day and has a seat on a bench, Trenton follows and stands before him.
"Maybe they're just friends?"164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlTRFFXYgr
"It's not just that, it's the fact that I like men and I don't know why!" Trenton sits next to him, gathering his thoughts. "You know, that's not... an issue anymore right? That you do?" "God Trenton yes it is, this isn't ok and the feeling never was." "Dude if you're saying that because you are scared of what people think then you need to not because that's only going to cause you internal anxiety and stress. You can't just deny your feelings, your feelings are your feelings and you need to accept that more than anything or anyone." Ashton gets teary and blinks them away. He didn't know what to say, he nodded and then the bell rang. Before they went in different directions Ashton said, "Thank you." Trenton gave him an accepting nod and they both went off in different directions.
Later after class, Ashton was glad to be back in his room. He got a knock on his door but it wasn't Pheonix, he was definitely not in the mood to play guitar or anything. "You can come in." In flood in his friends. Ashton sat up in his bed, they closed the door. Nothing was said at first, there was tension. "Dude, what the fuck is going on?" Gail says breaking the silence. Kayden nudges him in the side.
"Just stressed."
"With what?" Gail says
"School."
"Lies."
"You're so annoying dude, stop pushing it," Kayden says.
"Look. You are my best friend, forget them for a minute and look at me man ok? For whatever reason Trenton knows whatever the hell this is, before I do, is concerning, ok? I only care."
"Is that why you punched him in the face?" Ashton laughs. Gail and Trenton's exchange looks. "I said sorry, we're cool now."
"We truly are worried," Dustin adds.
There's a knock at the door. Ashton sighs and knows who it is, "Well don't, I will be fine."
Trenton opens the door, Dustin and Kayden walk outside into the hall. Pheonix walks in and by himself with nothing else, so it confuses them, including Ashton. Gail eyes Pheonix, giving him a dirty look, his eyes not off him until he is completely out of the room. "Let us know if you need anything." He gives Pheonix a small wave in which he returns in the same way, then he shuts the door and leaves. Pheonix stares at him, Ashton looking back at him, then back down, and kept checking to see if he was staring at him in which he was each time he looked up. "Yes?" Pheonix sits at the end of the bed. "I honestly hope your panic attack wasn't about me. Was it because I came back suddenly? Are you still feeling sick? I came to check on you, the audition is tomorrow, we've rehearsed but not that much." Ashton was finding the words to say, he was gathering his thoughts.
"I'll be fine," Ashton says bluntly.
"I can also get Miles in here, he is studying music with us and he is in our club."
Ashton feels as if someone had just stabbed him when he heard the name, 'Miles.' Pheonix notices his sudden change in expression. He gets up from his spot and puts his hand on Ash's forehead. "You looked flushed, is everything alright?" Ashton moves his head away and swings his feet over the side of the bed and gets up. He must have gotten up too fast, which causes him to tumble over. "Have you eaten today?" Ashton gets up and proceeds to move around even though he just fell over. "Hey Ash, slow down ok? Take it easy, I'll get you some food and water, I'll be right back, please relax."Ashton sits at his table and rests' his elbow on the table while his head leans on his hand. He did feel hot, why is he feeling this way? Was it because he hadn't eaten in a while, or... was it because of how he was feeling." This is ridiculous, is this even healthy? He thought.
Before he knew it, Pheonix came back. He placed the food and a water bottle on the table, "Eat." Ashton opens the bag up and pulls out the food, he was surprised that it was something he liked. "Why do you look so shocked that it was something you liked, I remember everything from when we were younger." Ashton just sits there, chewing. "Want to know something I don't remember though?" Chewing and looking at him. "You being so stubborn." Ashton swallows and nearly chokes, he feels his face turn red but tries to hide it. Phoenix smirks and there is yet another person that comes through the door. It is Miles with a guitar. Ashton is glad he is done with his food so the sight of this guy wouldn't make him lose his appetite. "So I invited him and I figured we can all help each other?" Phoenix says innocently. Ashton has a seat on the end of his bed, Miles hands him the guitar, Ashton snatches it out of his hands. Miles and Phoenix sit across from his at the chairs by the table.
"So did Phoenix teach you every basic chord for tomorrow?" Miles asks.
Ashton nods blank-faced.
"Ok. So have you been practicing a song?"
Another nod, more blank stares.
Phoenix and Miles glare at each other and then back at him, "Ok so what song?"
"Heather," Ashton says sharply while looking directly at Phoenix.
Miles nods in approvement, "Fantastic, can you play it?"
"Right now?" Ashton asks.
"Mmhm."
"You will hear it tomorrow."
Phoenix and Miles exchange looks at each other again, this time looks of agreement. "That's fair, it will be like a surprise concert but with one person and one singer!" Miles laughs and Phoenix chuckles at it. Ashton gives no reaction. To get rid of the awkward tension, Miles gets up and packs up his guitar. "Ok thank you, good luck, see you then." Miles leaves and now only Phoenix remains.
"If you need anything, you have my number ok?"
Ashton gives a slow nod while looking at him. Phoenix smiles at him and then leaves.
The next day was his audition, the whole day he was anxious and unable to focus on anything else, he just wanted to in the audition and do well and this can be over.
Ashton is about to leave his room but then his friends are outside his room.
"I have my audition."
"Yeah we know... we're going," Gail says.
They all begin walking, Ashton leading the way. "No, you're not."
"Why can't we support you?" Gail asks.
"I'll be fine."
"We're still going," Dustin says while laughing.
"Whatever."
They arrive and everyone is already there. "Thought you would coward out," Mason says as Ashton enters the room. "Honestly don't even care about all the attractive men that just walked into the room behind you, let's get on with your audition." His friends laugh and Ashton shoots them a look and they stop. "I am, Ashton, I am a freshman and I will be auditioning to the song heather." He looks up to see if Phoenix is watching, he is sitting next to Miles, the anxious dreading feeling comes back. He begins to play, surprised looks go all around the room, Mason doesn't look surprised yet. While he is singing the song, he is looking at Phoenix and only him. Phoenix smiles while he sings, everyone seems to be enjoying it. His friends even seem to be liking it. The song ends and everyone claps and cheers. Ashton tries to hide his relief and happiness. Mason and Kira's exchange looks. "So you learned that in a week? Who helped you?" Ashton felt embarrassed but also angered at this point, can't he just appreciate what he just did?
"Um..." Ashton eyes over at Phoenix.
"I helped him learn basic notes but he learned a whole song without me there." Phoenix says saving him.
"Ohh ok. Got it." Mason says as he is surprised that someone as good as Phoenix was helping him. "Ok you are in, but you will have to work harder than that." Everyone cheers and claps again. His friends come up to him, "Nice man." Dustin says. "That was crazy, good job," Gail says. Phoenix comes up and says, "Great job, I will be seeing you." Ashton nods his head and fakes a smile. Miles pats his shoulder and says "You did great." Miles walks out of the room. His friends just stand there unsure why it is so awkward with them. "So, it's Friday who wants to drink?!" Gail says loudly. Girls look over and giggle. Gail winks at one and she blushes while looking down. "Sounds good, give me a second." Ashton walks over to Phoenix who is waiting by the door, Miles left. Trenton smiles at them, Gail is trying to get a girl's number and the others are just talking.
"Thank you," Ashton says. Phoenix plays dumb. "Oh for what?" Ashton sighs, "For... helping me." "Oh yes I know, I just wanted to see if you would say anything." Ashton stands there awkwardly. "I'll see you in the club." Phoenix begins to walk away, "Wait! Um..." Phoenix furrows his brows, "Hmm?"
"Want to um... go get something to eat?" Ashton doesn't make eye contact but feels relief when he sees a smile form on Phoenixs' face. "What about them?" He says gesturing to his friends with a nod. Ashton gets one look at them and they are all preoccupied with girls. "They're fine, let's go."
Phoenix and Ashton make their way to Phoenix's car. Ashton gets into the passenger's seat, his heart is racing. Phoenix comes into the car. He starts the car up, "Do you care where we go?" Ashton shakes his head. Phoenix does his seat belt, then leans over and grabs Ashton's seat belt and clinks it in, "Saftey first." Phoenix smirks and begins to drive off somewhere, Ashton feels red again. Phoenix drove and Ashton feels safe, it's just him and his long-life best friend, alone together.
They arrive at some pub downtown from the campus. When they get there, there isn't much to say. Ashton feels like they've changed so much to even remember where they left off. "How-" Ashton was going to say something but Phoniex said something at the same time. Ashton got red and keeps his eyes down. "Oh sorry, you can go."164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUPwUv27Bs
"No it's ok," Phoenix offers.
"How was it living in another state?" Ash asks.
Phoenix takes a sip of his Pepsi then sets it down. "It wasn't easy having to make new friends. My dad's job getting moved. My parents are still in Michigan, but I wanted to attend school here in Maryland. I might just move down here."
"Mmm. It is a nice state. The programs here are good." Ashton added.
"Oh definitely! Michigan has little to nothing, it was the best decision to come back here, plus because my best friend lives here." Phoenix looks at him and smiles.164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pAsnW1OWf
Their food arrives, "Can I get another beer, please? Thank you."164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn1I65vWX3
"Oh whose that?" Ashton then asks after the waitress leaves.
Phoenix sets his fork down and looks at him dead in the eyes, "Are you serious?" Ashton looks left them right. "What do you mean? Whose are you talking about?" Phoenix inhaled then exhaled. "You. You are my best friend."
"Wait you came back for me?" Ash was stunned and nearly choked.
"Not only that but yes that. You always talked about attending this school, I remember your passion for it. I applied in hope that you never changed your mind."
Ash didn't know what to say. He thought he was the only one that had a hard time forgetting their friendship. Turns out he missed him just as much.
They finished up and got back in the car. "Wanna go hang in that bar?" Phoenix asked. "There's cool eighties games and pool."
Ashton shrugged "Sure, I don't mind."
They park on the street and go inside. There is a lot of people in the place, Ash gets a little nervous with big crowds, Phoenix pats his shoulder, noticing him tensing up. "Look, it's pac man," Phoenix says trying to get his mind of things.
They go towards the game and when they get there phoenix says he'll be right back. Ashen is so focused on the game he doesn't see Phoenix come back with two more beers. They move onto pool and play with some of the group of guys. They end up beating the guys and winning $25. They split the money and by this time Ashton has already had five beers total the whole night.
"Hey we better head home, it's getting late Ash."164Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVP46qwbLE
Ashton stumbles towards him, "Nahhh~ it's still early!" Ashton giggled. "It's 11:45, come on." Phoenix beamed, he was so happy to see him happy and laid back for once. "Alright.. alright."
They left the pub and drove to campus, Ashton was blacked out in the passenger seat.
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