My back hits a soft surface. My feet hurt. My chest feels heavy. My head spins. My once closed eyes open to face the ceiling. The ceiling begins to transform. I see stars, different galaxies with a blast of color; pink, blue, green, purple. I see darkness. I see light. I’m floating. It's a beautiful experience. I smile and ready myself to be taken away by the universe. It's my time. But someone flipped the switch and I was being brought down by gravity. I was falling. It’s hard to breathe. I had to carry a lot of loads from family, friends, and co-workers. I had to take a lot of load from a gamemaster called life and I am a simple player. I am in the hands of a wide galaxy. I am confused, lost, hopelessly wandering in the abyss of imagination that crumples into the reality of either false hope or unattainable expectations. I look at my loads and want to cry, but I can’t. What I feel shouldn’t matter, shouldn't exist. I look at my loads and see the spectacle of memories of family, of friends, of co-workers. I panic, I shake, I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. Why do I have to do this? I panic. I inhale then I exhale then breathe because if I don’t, I drown, I fall into a black hole unable to breathe, unable to see, unable to reach. The pressure is what I feel, pressure from loads I carry, Pressure from the draining demon that takes over mental; “I am too stupid they are too smart I will lose”, emotional; “tears cloud my vision if I let them fall I am weak if I hold them back I am killing myself”, What do I do then? Physical; My legs give out to the load it devours me my arms won’t lift me up, my muscles, my heart is giving out. I am too weak., and even spiritual. I can’t fight. I proceeded to be swallowed by this demon. I am a spectacle, a small microorganism in a world of big, giant, hungry demons. I can’t fight. But I inhale then exhale and breathe. My once closed eyes are now open, I stretch, I scream, I push, I pull, I fight. I am worthy. I am seen. I am big and can be just as mean. I am strong enough to fight. I am smart enough to fool the gamemaster. I am me. I inhale then exhale then breathe. I will fight and I will be victorious till...
the end.
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidsGdkKE7I
(I wanted to do my own little tweak of an epic poem although you can't really tell if it is...but my inspiration for writing this revolves around anxiety. ) 289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPk3G5kI7rK
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