132Please respect copyright.PENANAlCc5SRj8P4
When I was born, my birth mom gazed at me with loving eyes.
When I was born, she gave me a name that she knew I would never answer to.
When I was born, a small blanket was wrapped around me in a loving embrace.
When I was born, a smattering of hushed affirmations was whispered into my ear.
When I was born, my fragile body was placed outside an orphanage, waiting to be found.
When I was born, my biological mother abandoned me.
132Please respect copyright.PENANA56AWC5b1Qv
When I was discovered, my umbilical cord was still attached to my stomach.
When I was discovered, the orphanage workers bundled me up in their arms.
When I was discovered, I was taken in, comforted by the promises of warmth.
When I was discovered, the orphanage workers tried to find my biological parents.
When I was discovered, the news announced my abandonment in a futile attempt to have someone claim me as theirs.
When I was discovered, no one came for me.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAIpGEiW1Cig
Where were you, mother? Why did you not step up?
132Please respect copyright.PENANANHNN7wUaKH
My adoptive mother said that my birth mom must have had her reasons for leaving me.
My adoptive mother told me that in Vietnam, poverty is common.
My adoptive mother reasoned that perhaps my birth mom may not have been able to support me financially.
132Please respect copyright.PENANADzzXOCTrzf
Perhaps she is right and my biological mother could not afford to properly care for me.
Perhaps it is because I was a burden to her.
Perhaps my birth mother was in an abusive household and left me so I could have a better life.
Perhaps it is because she never wanted me.
Perhaps my birth mother was trying to ensure I had a good future through adoption.
Perhaps I was nothing but a mistake.
132Please respect copyright.PENANATJGZa1aHd9
Either way, I will never have an answer.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAbrmD9LKi9Z
My adoptive mother promised that she would help me search for my birth mother if I wanted.
My adoptive mother assured me she didn’t mind.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAUXWxAaO8Ec
Maybe I would get answers then.
But...
132Please respect copyright.PENANAkmbtCqkBUY
Why would I want to find her?
She doesn’t care for me.
I owe nothing to her.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAbsXNtZkkwo
These were angry words, spat out from a place of loneliness.
I spoke these words at a time when I didn't understand that love takes sacrifice.
Now I reflect on the belief I once had that I didn't owe my birth mother anything.
I used to think that because she left me, I owed her nothing.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAzq8CDqLQgi
Except I do owe her.
I owe her everything.
I owe her my existence.
I owe her my every breath.
I owe her the life I have now.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAnfEiODlrrl
Perhaps this debt is why I could never hate my birth mom.
Her womb was my first home.
She brought me into this world, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
132Please respect copyright.PENANAxbXsvwc01G
Wherever you are, mother, I wish you happiness.
Eat well.
ns 172.69.58.155da2