與我同屋嘅女同學打到帽我嘅ex躺平//《同居女孩》 - 【第三十三話前女友】

今日，我應雅妍之約同佢去咗牧羊少年食嘢。

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雅妍罕有地早到，而且一早就拎咗位。

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雅妍一身長衫長褲，將佢身上嘅傷痕完全遮蓋。

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點解我會同前女朋友食飯？

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點解我會同欺凌我朋友嘅人出街？

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我嘅心其實好矛盾。

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我知道雅妍係個大仆街，佢亦都傷害過我。

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但係佢係我初戀。

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我好多對愛情嘅憧憬同投射都喺佢身上。

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即使佢傷害過我，我嘅心或者喺我唔為意嘅時候，有一種想同佢喺返埋一齊嘅期望。

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簡單啲講就係我對佢仲有啲感覺。

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未必係愛情，可能只係對初戀嘅留戀。

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「你坐呀。」雅妍道。

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我以為見到佢嘅時候我會好嬲，但係唔係，我好平淡。平淡到好似我哋兩個之間乜事都無發生過咁。

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「你無事呀嘛？」我問。

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「要啲時間去痊愈，但係整體嚟講都無乜事。」雅妍虛弱地答。

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「點解約我出嚟？」我無安慰雅妍，直接將話題拉入今日嘅正題。

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「因為你嗰陣時企咗出嚟保護我，所以我想講聲多謝。」去到依家我先發現，雅妍無咗以前嘅氣焰，雖然未到謙卑，但係佢嘅氣場收斂咗好多。

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「我只係一時衝動。」

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「其實你仲鐘意我係咪？」

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雅妍伸手去捉住我放係檯上嘅雙手。

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我縮開。

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「小小。」我坦白。

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應該仲有一啲，雖然唔知係愛情定留戀。

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「咁我哋可唔可以重新開始？」

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「你綠過我。」

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「我知錯。我需要一個機會。畀你保護嘅時候，我先發現我仲鐘意你。」

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「可能只係吊橋效應。同埋我無可能同綠過我嘅人再一齊。」

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「對唔住。對於傷害過你，我真係好對唔住。」雅妍誠心地致歉。

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「我無可能原諒你。」

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「即使係咁，我真係好對唔住。」雅妍真係唔同咗。

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啪啦。

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心中某個重擔爆開。

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我當下就知道，我已經放低咗雅妍。

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我唔會再因為佢而傷心。

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我唔會再因為佢而開心。

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我唔會再因為佢而動怒。

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我對佢已經無感覺，連憎恨都無。

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但係可以嘅話，我唔想再見到佢。

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「你好似變咗。」我無可能會再同雅妍一齊。

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「畀人打咗一鑊之後，我嘅諗法都有啲改變。我反思過好多，我做錯過好多。阮倩兒打得我好啱，我罪有應得。」

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「等等。關阮倩兒咩事？」

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「唔洗扮啦。我知道打我哋嗰個係阮倩兒。」

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「你想點？」

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「唔洗咁緊張，我唔會篤佢出嚟，得我知道嗰個人係阮倩兒。好似我頭先咁講，我罪有應得。」

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「我點樣信你？」

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呢個背叛過我嘅女人，好難相信。

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「你唔信我都正常，但係我真係唔會講。就算我講真相出嚟，我諗都無人會幫到我。」雅妍呷一口咖啡再望住我。

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學校全力隱瞞呢間事，課室又無閉路電視，我同陳浩然唔講嘅話，真相永遠都唔會有人知。

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雅妍再講：「我再問多次，我哋可唔可以係返畀一齊？」

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「我對你已經無感覺。」

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「因為阮倩兒？」

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「點解又關佢事？」

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「你同佢咩關係？」

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「關你咩事？我同佢只係朋友。」

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「原來係咁。我明白啦，咁樣我哋就做返陌生人啦。」

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我唔明佢明白啲乜，但係做返陌生人呢個係我想要嘅結果，所以我哋嘅事就係到結束。

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呢餐就係我同雅妍嘅告別宴。

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食過窩夫同飲過咖啡後，我同雅妍正式成為兩條平行線。

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返到屋企，煮緊飯嘅倩兒熱情地迎接我。

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「梁諾衡，你可唔可以做我男朋友？」

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聽到倩兒嘅請求，我呆咗咁企係原地。

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