小學生不談戀愛 - 03 人不聰明就要懂得巴結資優生

大海有個大他十歲的姊姊小鷗，因為年紀差很多的關係，姊姊說的話在他耳裡聽來都是厲害的大道理，因此他十分崇拜姊姊。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqh5KV4iWNj
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小鷗姊曾說過一句話，至今大海都將之奉為圭臬：「人不聰明就要懂得巴結資優生。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7KL3In08O
大海牢記這句話，並且執行得徹底。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtVGWXD9zI
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他轉學之後的第一次段考考得稀巴爛，而鄰座的小航居然是個深藏不露的資優生，從那次起他就決定要好好巴結小航。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnbG3q3mF6
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幸好老天安排他們作為鄰居又鄰座，有了地利之便的大海可以輕鬆收集到很多關於小航的資訊。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zqgrTjgUi
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大海注意到小航最近的書包上掛滿了〈我們這一家〉的吊飾，於是他趁放學回家時問：「你在收集聯名吊飾喔？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUbouAJN24
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最近XX餅乾跟卡通節目合作推出聯名吊飾，只要購買餅乾就能抽卡通人物吊飾。

「對啊，只剩紅色玫瑰花的花媽沒抽到。我買好幾盒都沒抽到，已經放棄了。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMDrCGMjxZ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcecA51tQQB
大海默默記住小航說的話，從那天起他每天幫忙阿嬤做家事就是希望可以多賺點零用錢買餅乾抽吊飾。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FoZEFF9Qh
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但活動時間短來不及賺足夠的錢，最後只買到四盒。他抱著四盒餅乾回家，像神壇一樣供奉在書桌上不停拜拜。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv6jVfLXU7
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小鷗姊看他緊張兮兮地供著四盒餅乾不停搓手祈禱，還以為自家弟弟又在發神經了，她直接拿起餅乾盒拆開包裝，「食物買回來就是要吃，供著幹嘛？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkn7NBenFR
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大海心急地從小鷗姊手中搶走盒子，挖開餅乾看裡面的吊飾。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGc5KVwVRS
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「原來你是要搜集吊飾喔？」小鷗姊咬著餅乾說。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPO6BPcoHX
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8rqIS8bgw
第一盒拆開不是他要的紅玫瑰花媽，第二盒沒有⋯⋯第三盒、第四盒也都撲空。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzS7djuOFTJ
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMWpeHc40x
他欲哭無淚地坐在地上耍賴，指控小鷗姊：「都是你亂碰害的啦！害我沒抽到紅玫瑰花媽。」

小鷗姊拿起吊牌目錄查看，哈哈大笑，「這根本就不是你的品味，你幹嘛那麼認真？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9oBrgWrpg
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pa0J1Ty6T
大海厥著嘴，「是你說要巴結資優生教我功課，小航想要那個吊牌，所以我才這麼努力啊。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmUcR7Yt7T
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jrYH27j1T
小鷗姊彈了自家弟弟的額頭，哭笑不得說：「巴結也要在能力範圍內，重點要用對方法。小航人那麼好，跟你關係也不差，你直接去拜託他不就好了？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPYgr9amdE
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大海揉了揉額頭，小鷗姊彈得力道不大，正好點醒他，果然是姊姊厲害！他明天就去跟小航「正面對決」。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W7tNBkBwv
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隔天到學校，大海在打掃時間問小航能不能教他功課。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1KENFJyqY
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「可以，但有條件。」小航才不會讓自己吃虧（而且大海不好教）。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0mgWDPAC8
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「是什麼？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu0OnYo9G7
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「每天早上叫我起床。」小航的爸媽經常早出晚歸，他也想體驗看看每天早上被家人叫醒的感覺，而不是被冷冰冰的鬧鐘喚醒。

顯然大海想得不一樣，他的腦中閃過一些糟糕畫面，結結巴巴說：「為為為什麼叫我早上過去？早起很累欸。沒有別的嗎？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6xWGtK2mJ
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「不要拉倒，功課自己想辦法。」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59bDFFgBQN
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「⋯⋯好啦好啦，我做。」平常說話大聲的大海，此刻音量小的跟螞蟻一樣。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8DJktYCIA
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大海突然的尷尬搞得小航也莫名尷尬，「你你你幹嘛臉紅啊！」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzjUOH5wK6
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「你你你臉也很紅啊！」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRGTytYWj3
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「都怪你想些奇怪的東西啦！」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBue4b4VFPD
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「你又知道我在想什麼喔？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgCbjvq8z4
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「⋯⋯」小航憋紅了臉，不說話。499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1ug3eGa4u
499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBjt9FUobi
路過的男同學奇怪的看他們，「奇怪，結巴跟臉紅是會傳染喔？」499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwvHr29rtP
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「「不關你的事啦！」」

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