六年前的夏天,我爸過世了。270Please respect copyright.PENANAr7GMrh8kC4
270Please respect copyright.PENANAgMtx6481d8
親眼看見一個人變成自己不認識的模樣,套上歪七扭八的襪子和古怪的套裝,緩緩裝入火柴盒,在烤麵包箱似的爐裡燃燒殆盡。直到肉末、皮屑一點也不剩,頭蓋骨變成灰黑色玉米脆片,裝在比乖乖桶小一點的甕,就像黑暗世界的獨門零嘴。他們接著又把陶甕關在不見天日的小隔間,要求我們每年來看一次,說這是孝道;但這一切毫無意義。我大概是不正常了,竟連一滴淚都沒有流下。270Please respect copyright.PENANAJBtha9xsQ0
270Please respect copyright.PENANASFZaH95ayc
迷迷糊糊之際,一切就這麼結束了:告別式結束、火化結束,遺產問題也處理完畢。炎熱季節僅餘殘渣,絲毫沒為冰淇淋和水樂園留下縫隙。渾渾噩噩地,像傅柯擺一樣來回空轉,不知不覺間假期已過,生活再次回到正軌。270Please respect copyright.PENANAtMSIJnBVfD
270Please respect copyright.PENANASr4ot4dZne
270Please respect copyright.PENANAQWQBjPJdiw
沒人記得那是什麼時候開始的。我在非常偶然的情況下注意到,近來深夜,家中常重複著某種聲響:先是門打開的「咿——呀」,接著「咚、咚、咚、咚」由遠而近,自樓下急急奔上,最後在書房躊躇;而後又漸行漸遠,回到極遠處「咿——呀」,又「咚、咚、咚、咚」逐步逼近,如此循環不已。就好像有人半夜突然驚醒,扯開房門、直直衝上衝下尋找什麼一般,還每晚都演出同樣的劇碼。270Please respect copyright.PENANA8iJoQi6hiX
270Please respect copyright.PENANAVkZVmiAkmg
有一天我終於忍不住打開房門查看,聲音在門開的瞬間戛然而止,只剩外頭飢渴得到處吸附的寂靜。如果只是隔音設備不良也就罷了,但我們沒有鄰居。270Please respect copyright.PENANAIoW9dND1MT
270Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ5W1dYxZ5
直到去年元旦,事情有了變化。270Please respect copyright.PENANAX51Gj6e74Q
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270Please respect copyright.PENANAKhjToRKMni
爸爸回來了。270Please respect copyright.PENANA89ZB1yRCKA
270Please respect copyright.PENANAF95LALUhlw
最先發現的人是小妹,在我們全家看電視時,她聲稱看見爸爸從車庫那邊的樓梯口走上樓。爸爸穿著白色襯衫,手裡提著公事包,不發一語走向書房,喀的一聲門關起來了。爸爸剛從公司回來,爸爸辛苦了。270Please respect copyright.PENANA7izFb2zCAG
270Please respect copyright.PENANAvZ0p5Fc7XY
大夥只是喔了一聲,繼續邊挖著零嘴邊觀賞節目,沒有人有絲毫疑惑。我追出去看,書房門確實被關上,只是裡面沒有光。我實在沒有勇氣走過去確認,於是退回客廳。270Please respect copyright.PENANAecE4CR8iTQ
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爸爸不是死了嗎?我說。270Please respect copyright.PENANAqfDY0FTc4O
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我們知道啊,別跟他說;要是告訴他,說不定就不會回來了。270Please respect copyright.PENANA0U3nKbqbh4
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真的不跟他說嗎?270Please respect copyright.PENANAKu92g3Q2XZ
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你不怕會發生不好的事嗎?270Please respect copyright.PENANAJQvcxOkRB7
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270Please respect copyright.PENANASynX3lw8lL
爸爸開始上班了,而且是白天。270Please respect copyright.PENANA23dfgI0d4N
270Please respect copyright.PENANATRCzR1i47d
大家都會跟爸爸打招呼,但彼此總對不上視線,因為爸爸總是匆匆忙忙地離開,依然什麼話也沒跟家人說。家裡的人還是若無其事地生活,好像除了上下班,其他時間爸爸都不存在。270Please respect copyright.PENANAijArouydTo
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家裡又重新多一份薪水了。270Please respect copyright.PENANARSr94rHN0r
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270Please respect copyright.PENANArud0YvA52E
六年前的夏天,我做了一個這樣的夢。270Please respect copyright.PENANAlrsqAKf0DZ
270Please respect copyright.PENANA4T0GsoddJc
而那個夢,到現在都還沒醒來。