每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7id9mh6O73
輕嘆一聲。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnwUVq2NIl
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媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z7QbKs9FA
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她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IDFRRpVXg
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以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLD2FzWBn4H
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他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK2G8KHbKB
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茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sqYhl2cyW
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為何會變？如何變？可否不變？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dRiQ79nl6
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他百思不得其解。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHExkNCrxK
再聲輕嘆。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgYj3qYIPv
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阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynVfQwiWEl
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舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpTyDkwm8x
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真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93bM5S3K1D
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昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcRvXb2ifN
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緣起緣滅，不由自主。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LcMAsFMi8
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既要緣滅，何必緣起？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2g96XiVT6R
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他百思不得其解。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD4EaZt3xO
輕嘆有三。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2ywAmU9SX
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自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIGoocdYGH
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身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVq6R2gT80
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鬱悶。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXReru9jr4
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懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViIpTwpmOX
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去抱！去奪！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjY3tf2fS9j
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抱甚麼？腿已不在。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWKOLvcFjy
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奪甚麼？球已不在。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz8HwBMjTB
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為何不在？為何統統不在？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f6KObOt3u
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那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9cYGXPdEw
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停下來！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5BLj8i3lL
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那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnXKd9wbyV
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慢下來！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj6d9ilkwj
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那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgg4pXHv2K
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他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fO9IqliKD
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孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayxi5jTUUz
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昔日的他，今日的孫。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5JNBXDWCg
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永劫，輪迴。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2IMwB6VUZ
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不敢思，不求解。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj0pdohswJ
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嘆，嘆，嘆。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdNGtMJurv
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孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVvM7D8sdg
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他搖頭。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvrfv60G95
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深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV9QlJ6dcT
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然後按「加至主畫面」