其實我本來一直很糾結要不要現在就寫,因為我還沒全部看完,應該說我看不完482Please respect copyright.PENANAVPViL6JTnb
482Please respect copyright.PENANAcQNlwIsOev
可是後來想想,我覺得我應該要寫482Please respect copyright.PENANAyy2Tz0scaU
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一開始我對《道靈》有點期望過高,畢竟題材是我很喜歡的類型,以至於後面看不完(有點看不下去),接著花了幾天重整心情和措辭,百般糾結下才決定寫讀後感482Please respect copyright.PENANA8gJNpZjjLc
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所以我這篇讀後感可能有點刺眼,作者看到如果感到被冒犯,我很抱歉482Please respect copyright.PENANAZ86fR93bgt
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我大概看到<鬼抓鬼>這個部分為止,可以看出來一些伏筆都還沒挖出來解釋,這個部分我暫且不提。482Please respect copyright.PENANA7rChlXGFoA
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故事劇情主要講述一位叫鄒若戈的道士(大學生),如何在現代社會(學校)裏隱瞞身份並過上正常的生活,夜裡則以道士身份抓鬼打鬼,為社會(或者說自己的生活)帶來安穩與平靜(???)482Please respect copyright.PENANAybB8GtD1nv
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我目前的理解是這樣,不知道是不是作者想要的大架構482Please respect copyright.PENANAcyzZDoPQpp
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主要角色有鄒若戈和神秘的女鬼小沐482Please respect copyright.PENANAX1Zar4zu3G
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我在這邊坦承,其他角色太過沒有存在感,所以我記不住他們,但最開頭那位吳學長我認為有點可惜,他可以發揮的空間很大,可是才出場沒幾幕就下線了,變成只是帶出主角存在,卻又不太合理的角色,太可惜了482Please respect copyright.PENANA84Wx9JqcBp
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基於我寫這篇前有參考薑毛辣椒大寫的評文,我們對於主角的感受差不多,因此請容我跳過482Please respect copyright.PENANANIrj4kSDNN
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因為我真的很想講一下這位吳靖裳吳學長,所有角色裡我最掛念的就屬他482Please respect copyright.PENANALz6Y3kJRZZ
482Please respect copyright.PENANAXYzN9Bo88p
作為一個靈異愛好者,又是常常出入靈異場所更甚至還帶隊進行靈探活動,這位吳靖裳我本來以為是「道士故事裡的正常人對照組」,結果自從下線後存在感只剩下龍套,太可惜了482Please respect copyright.PENANAWjlL3QUiBf
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我不確定是不是作者想掌握的角色太多,每位角色所分到的關注不夠才導致,還是作者本來就這麼設定的,至少我目前看下來大概除了兩位主角以外全部都是龍套482Please respect copyright.PENANApvsthYE30J
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對,全部482Please respect copyright.PENANAPLtmidLokU
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可能是女主角的小沐在我看來也只是個重要角色,還沒有到達主角的份量,可是考量到她可能是個主要劇情線的大伏筆,所以姑且讓她上主角之位好了。482Please respect copyright.PENANAWulT8LX9mW
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這種關注被過多角色分掉這種事很容易會發生,尤其是角色量多到超出作者控制的時候更容易出現,我相信作者一定有為主角、主要配角、重要配角和龍套分好戲份,可是沒有很成功的帶出來,這會讓角色受到關注的感覺大大降低,讓讀者感覺不到他們的存在感。482Please respect copyright.PENANAS4TmWRgswA
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想要改善這問題,我以我的經驗提供一點拙見,望作者大大參考一下482Please respect copyright.PENANAkPO3rlnj67
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這邊一定要提到應該是重要角色的鬼魂-邱默482Please respect copyright.PENANAtmwlq9bziz
482Please respect copyright.PENANAvONHVj6YSG
很一般的二愣子,也沒有甚麼作為和衝突感,風采全被主角奪走也就算了,感覺他應該是個可以成長的角色,只是自己還在努力摸索482Please respect copyright.PENANALuPQgnYCFQ
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身上應該帶有謎團,又或者應該要是謎團本身的參與者或被害者,但這種感覺並不強烈,主要是個很被動,甚至還是個等主角有所作為才稍微被帶一點起來的感覺482Please respect copyright.PENANARmDcpT2WeC
482Please respect copyright.PENANAbH9nGVlQJU
從最開頭的序章可以合理猜測,邱默應該是卷一的第二位主角(就像是懸疑劇裡單個事件的關鍵角色的感覺),所以發現他就是開頭那位鬼的時候,我對邱默抱有一定的期待,但很可惜,或許我沒辦法撐到邱默真正發揮光彩的地方了482Please respect copyright.PENANAn4uOCF2vXp
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我的建議是可以讓邱默多講講自己尋找失蹤愛人的過程,或者是開場先讓邱默發狂一下爭取讀者的興趣,鄒若戈把他安撫下來後讓他恢復一定神智,再接上他想要尋找愛人這個主要目的482Please respect copyright.PENANAuJhdaZ7AhB
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這麼做主要是讓邱默出場時先帶出存在感,接著可以強化他肌肉笨蛋的特點,就算不是智角,也是個足以衝鋒陷陣的角色,推薦參考《暗殺教室》裡的寺坂龍馬,很明顯的二愣子,不會思考的笨蛋,性格也說不上好,就只是個路上可以看到的不良482Please respect copyright.PENANA3XY2QgYgU3
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但寺坂的特點是他以背叛者身份正式開局,並讓讀者留下印象,從一個隨處可見的不良變成為全班帶來麻煩的背叛者,再接著轉化後帶出他充滿義氣的那一面,最後自願成為全班的坦克扛傷扛仇恨482Please respect copyright.PENANAbmIriW9jpX
482Please respect copyright.PENANAhnxXHW9kKn
寺坂在專屬於他的篇章裡面發揮了重要作用,並在後續篇章裡擁有一定的存在感,這就是重要角色,就算沒有主角的戲份多,就算不被人記住名字,但讀者一定會記得他幹過的事482Please respect copyright.PENANAKQj5t1BCBN
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邱默作為一個卷的重要角色,他開頭的存在感必須強烈,他必須要讓讀者記住他是誰,以及他幹了什麼事,這樣才會讓讀者對他產生興趣,而不是淪落成主角的綠葉……更甚至可能還不到綠葉的程度482Please respect copyright.PENANAsYz52uRPEZ
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礙於篇幅的關係,我先講到這裡,後面關於文體結構那些我雖然也有話想說,但能說的部分跟薑毛辣椒大差不多,就不一一贅述了482Please respect copyright.PENANANKUf3Wdq4V
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至於不能說的部分充滿了我個人主觀的閱讀習慣,講出來可能比較像是引戰,沒辦法變成「評文」那麼美好的詞彙,如果作者想知道可以私下來問我,我不想變成公開戰文手的場面(同為文手何苦為難文手呢)482Please respect copyright.PENANA2VcjeU7p8T
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這篇主要聚焦在角色的原因是--作者選定的題材真的有很大的發揮空間,角色設定也有,但因為發揮的不是很理想,以至於故事的魅力無法開頭就散發出來,這點著實可惜482Please respect copyright.PENANAz2uAUzysKG
482Please respect copyright.PENANATjITEq8OLY
同樣屬於靈異網路小說,我很推薦作者去讀【我會修空調】的《我有一座恐怖屋》,不用全部讀完,只要讀到<第三病棟>篇結束就夠了,因為到這裏就有非常完整的故事架構和角色塑造,後面那些作者有興趣再看就好。482Please respect copyright.PENANAkXqtfXtACJ
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那就這樣,謝謝你們讓我講完這麼充滿私心又不負責任的讀後感XD482Please respect copyright.PENANA8IBjN0MFbe
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互評大亂鬥 第二彈 評文心得放置區
Published:
Sep 5, 2021
ENTRY #46
道靈・卷一:異零貳靈。古云夜
Author:
連尤伊
Published:
Sep 5, 2021
6 Mins Read
1,755 Words
LIKES 4
READS 478
BOOKMARKS 14
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