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372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1nbQwc8Rh
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0ZmuTmna6
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwxd05v4Cf
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYyZKoeoAd
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81ZyxbH5XF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBTgmZAIlE
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsG7kecLdP
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSPNRjcAS0
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cGSnGsOPZ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGZKKDfD2Q
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSHbYeJK3v
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFKOCmrqr4
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpijBEiZjOF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcfayENJNm
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQwiwsofpb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTtgOnv2Dh
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJWoNwsbrO
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX5fYCxCmo
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozixUbQEZ9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sdhaYXjrJ
「唉......」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVRJ02yBBi
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eOFmZez06
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJbkA42Ruj
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nqFMPvH5P
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3TysnYHND
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1hj6rw5b8
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAhi2tvow1
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjOVvYR5lp
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVoHX9RA91
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJj6aGOfNu
「唉......」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqRnvEVjwV
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZDSiPb20W
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyXZ6iuJzs
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfMTjHrily
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohFeEHkZ0I
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fcGdKadMU
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSDxsmCedj
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROxEfi1KBL
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpUDdydR9t
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K5I0wdc2n
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNsCwm64eb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQj5DAyw5Z
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbYwGRQYCF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz60nDeqM9
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsHwGXW4ZQ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78joVePw8Y
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhACgmwGpOK
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBpdbaL3Yq
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dpiKK1oyc
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXE3eHO6T8
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0108OKky1W
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9T7h0UXsH
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdM1rFjVEd
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5xxaRPFcH
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2sGos5oxV
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N54Kuo66Z
「真的沒發生什麼事。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0MSUMJ3jg
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYds9wZn2yl
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpTc0Gi8Ap
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBIfCXtxrD
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qM3TdS3Be
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVQhJtqkMw
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv4NNuvOmd
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eSPP0kuDV
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptZ0VJIHHT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpolWaocFJ
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41faF4PqEC
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8e31cxbSr5
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmPQ7ZPkQJ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4TKOoY027
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9dFBLFf8j
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQFYqyk5Oc
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXT4fdSDxY
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYo3G8clpx
「其他事情？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTuKhOcWMV
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GVNkJti8n
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvaIsoccFN
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke2LWGk1zj
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aACN1VShK
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWMEN9O0zp
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPviavT0OMP
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JKlE7rO65
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohaovTA4iH
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmbwkphims
「哪件事？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zDcrToqPw
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoI5PyNLDr
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC9EI5r2mo
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7nbC6HnTS
「妳難道是指——」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Gib9uFfdt
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvZqDbACiB
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv0cJeZ8tp
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZR44N7Zvy
「打.苦.鞭。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zxNEM3erW
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0jzHb5D4F
＊＊＊372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuMfqPGcSh
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVqonLbnyp
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0YqV8JPPv
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dWr4NDdrV
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXmItJ0ipP
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSId6BtmhX
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCx7J1AoOgN
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjFIBheGxS
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqvVsWCodX
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xkllFWbal
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJnEbFpK6Z
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7SHeDLht3
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKA9Ydizl2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5jB5NCnZs
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFcRXrWpzQ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYmlqVKdHt
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VWYM14b86
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeem5UP9J4Z
「哼嗯......」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjOgolemeo
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDNLst70WZ
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xutEHtcX2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHNyfNZ2p0
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQkRFjxbIo
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQWuwmW00K
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc205a4SI0
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg58GkCiaPc
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27xnxeoTnT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT1Rgebapo
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LlREageiO
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzy4kTJJZv
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8o1h2LXtd
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe4RLxsOUz
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3boxf1VOty
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5a6yIrhbd
只要鞭打得更用力......372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG44elthdFb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5dkLCSAAC
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaomiAE6kjr
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUnn9QBiCw
讓身體更痛......372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMjqGzYDCC
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wO4lvCp8A
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZwOwLrqdz
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKn3PVqDWC
就能夠忘卻一切......372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNu3ti6i4e
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx6NhuF6kl
咻——372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxdC07geGb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiULHxix5o
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uphUJKOr8
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ViqehBkRB
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLSHq4gheb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lfitU7QmT
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYpyarMf0U
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnmTuBHQTC
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPSCpQVfDE
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKBAJX2Hob
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgakQ71U6N
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYfhtgh7Zm
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlgdWHCldX
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4MCgmrxKM
咻——劈啪！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mjU5QDC00
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQzjJ9U5sr
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDdYBrEtvV
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mv7bIg4h5
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」