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368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39CofvFes9
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoTveiur6I
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR6en14qRL
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwdjFpIp0h
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0sLwGkcOD
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5f1K5J5gJ
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0mVqHZz1A
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E456HfhG4
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthEidLwhPy
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuD33Fcp6BX
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82WnXDBX05
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGY20KztKg
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAK8KBW1N2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdThMfVHwKv
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36AcibygFz
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcREOOBDSUx
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidYMaSSvhh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKwVd65Q4K
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbegkrKJfsk
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38XaV3reuh
「唉......」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3iiYgxXvQ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzTEmPOIJf
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JAmslnp7O
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXnhyaM9pW
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT8HFarS2v
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSK4IHi6tb
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaTJLBVtZ2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSK8CZrTx92
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ywscKwQq1
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVmFVtxmlj
「唉......」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM0rYBzBpW
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfYjgI4xy8
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlJd0oRDkD
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppD3mwHfS5
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7sMns2wma
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeW0Q56FMQ2
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeWkrfci5N
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuvBBNItFm
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMfEembA09
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Poy13G4mJ
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbJhRhcBKy
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwohq8J6GC
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wjBTG7FRP
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eoiAQUU7q
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOlN9gwMBv
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4ht1VJSFt
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06G7CISiis
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZOJR6CHfc
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziDELWQmLw
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhwmogBP49
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJysk3bO339
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryqYfQFBo8
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgEMdJ1Mlu
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyQjreAKRH
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOfMkC5l0F
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl28NvtWZtB
「真的沒發生什麼事。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJM8VvdoMh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB6wbh18qe
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlwgLdnCzJ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5h7MCP0lC
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4k8J5RX5a
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61gWaijr7y
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjmiZmL71x
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCpFynGQEx
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9DCz8vE1J
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKre8jgTwJD
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbFWY6P5Ce
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm1FGvvfnP
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX2uuoJtA9
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuvLFbO5zX
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHwJqXKcMJ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KaOuNaOBW
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jy5HxR3Cv
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTkDE95ydJ
「其他事情？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxoa6cqz7M
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQk6t0C2nC
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8H8jjWd4n
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOSCCQEYWq
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa24XWOeOdQ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9U7202v3B
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fL42ZgHES
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmfq8ZivVN
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uHV6PCmlM
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIPrBMXXk6
「哪件事？」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaaDGw2wf2
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhfm9WXtM9
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSRgsE2eYt
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn46IrnJfY
「妳難道是指——」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLTxuOEaVP
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPgNhyhHBH
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yKAtvRafj
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mnkxt29uv
「打.苦.鞭。」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYtgDLVg8P
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI55dc31Zu
＊＊＊368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhvgsRJbPz
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxDc5R1nkm
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCckBAlCGpQ
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS5ASGBllA
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNYqgt7CoP
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyA9xlvMZC
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqrsDCOUhE
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdiEo7uyiH
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtF0sKMsnF
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vdaPQ11zq
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcNZsO77X3
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUxbW2DRol
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJuai91iHg
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYudpH28Cq
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEUxdWduX3
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXcjWVS60F
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMquwBC8zu
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfjf5DNUmk
「哼嗯......」368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiScmDcOFNh
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxbU2nYyTN
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUc6uxy4piu
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSLyGgb51X
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokzYayPCYa
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGWAPvkm0R
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9xPBaN0Fk
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9AIj2JbxI
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0P4f2mom3
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKTlABrkbf
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGZlGL3zji
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagdm0YgkfW
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2ww1iaAEm
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoknwgjDyvW
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94IZMv54D9
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlqEhqbjMD
只要鞭打得更用力......368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv9O8d1Nh9
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9J8SBfv53v
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIokwTRYC4
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcqbXI9aMQ
讓身體更痛......368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FIKpTKQth
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBMxDuoMWh
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaJQFSO1T4
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKswPnHrbh
就能夠忘卻一切......368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbAMgc7piA
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM364YlPnB
咻——368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg2oWvJvrt
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoKkyQXAQG
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllGoE6esKj
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy83SLz4ns
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOfSAurPRc
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mmFnisxIg
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxCVjkFS3W
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDccU6GKep
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP3GHUjCbY
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUW1e6uJIR
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHClh4u5bUR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMw0kJOK2y
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGdgJOm6DY
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDKDFz6ZwM
咻——劈啪！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaX2qbTiC7
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b8bqYDp3G
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEL1ZtxewR
368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmczqc4jOM2
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」