＊＊＊
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHooxrQlT0
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGp9Slx7sA
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EEo03nVF1
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkTKnJxfr3
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVN2oA8ifC
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZy513G2O1
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SDMKDZfft
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ninhjr7JH
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOR18PeTdX
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMxR9kiwR0
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFRtdLLMyw
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9Nfw15CHm
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWYNnohQ1I
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL4FrWT6HA
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIOIB6mM4j
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0djPxBIn3K
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50KueM2Uj8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQyh5WhRBk
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjegxzdgbr
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf35JbeHTsg
「唉......」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyMmVrxSMS
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhovGjHcTZy
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnQtlhsaub
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjleVwnfUU
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy3IsD4PH9
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAxYtqHUsT
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnfFHMfaKy
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4pjiWqz78
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGfmKDz8Uv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpd7AGnSgc
「唉......」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4LDam9nUc
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDiWIFJ5MD
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95sv6kzBhB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyJoFMTFq5
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c4WAuwOC6
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKyJjs6uIS
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5i2GwtI5j
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2NbU8Ozam
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW9uWpYqZP
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5ZtxTejYe
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9iDoUeAa0
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAyiHqPkTg
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gd6sxg0ju
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77FVoQyqKP
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20a2tS4yIL
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg5auADvWx
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiEFeYvgUH
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDHpOBpla1
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIm9o8vnH7
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqGuMyJXr4
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡok19bdsxto
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqH7W7I44Q
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMoTTcVgsI
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBtg19Kgl8
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZtWugd6Mg
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RXG3I1yi4
「真的沒發生什麼事。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBk7vRf6sj
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJD9qV12VOu
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjkxhIq21s
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlaL6Wtao7
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuAh3ITcoe
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw8yTog4OX
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZHr6N5Iqn
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn06mDUfLf
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfnEk6wOqP
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY7jlzReOr
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBS9eseBr8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhamLlbg2S3
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jQCmPgQIa
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncoinfgCWt
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxkGU0Ilwa
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28osJTo2MX
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpRPPeE47X
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQQDZUeHx4
「其他事情？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32mzcZvSB8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstSOojfPbx
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1ShDKKHD4
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK23KNKOXjQ
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyoGXGx84Z
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPy5CwZrOh
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtHwPI26ed
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjRe68a95E
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGAJHmccAh
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87S6jt2rTI
「哪件事？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ04z8hJXI
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YGpGXxsLd
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYlggdK6qe
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUw8TBGGhE
「妳難道是指——」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfPenWEPut
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T9tuRfCwD
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJROBxVryDN
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskmVnATYSE
「打.苦.鞭。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQP5rLkv6T
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynPodB3nNv
＊＊＊369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFu8U2ZwBn
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95nVL4gix9
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6SrIzNvZY
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgGsVb8Nge
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM98znrtpib
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8fv1VMGWq
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6WnsTtgDq
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRBGpnd4WS
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23235k7JMa
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGXQTRQxPj
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI8xZZMy9T
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNo0nJLf60
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtjkxvF6DC
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxzYgki5C2
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLqkrcqN5J
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZCnItBd6j
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxihgBVLe2
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbCzrLhuCI
「哼嗯......」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHd9kURqlo
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBD8X5cbls
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fYwbZz02N
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKmMvbB7Vq
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkHkT6kxfA
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHze6L4zIaZ
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AW6nJLpGt
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8zKgaShL0
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfbzMMYAQL
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OSAiHPjhr
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDs9Cy6DiwS
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNdSIXM92H
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXQiJ2xjTR
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xcaRvphes
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKdsU9zjGf
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8hRcfzOSy
只要鞭打得更用力......369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUtvfOradY
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrPaKEnSWl
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM4v6R9Ysj
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg4ystARVP
讓身體更痛......369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4NGULa7Pr
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTFTKlq23J
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoVzdHpr8i
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEq4LRjYb5
就能夠忘卻一切......369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjXjpmaaYr
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ223aV3u8HJ
咻——369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwixepipjz1
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kSpBFpf0D
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8BAXGzi4y
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdYowJgiI3
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ermd0o3fP
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRff2o3swEv
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7YTKLHmj3
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFr8OiegE0
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyOEanrvLM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5fDsZNUdn
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWFzcm2nKk
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aIfzKdKye
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8b0BBo5mUf
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2QapUkbmv
咻——劈啪！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Fx5FQLY9n
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZmPHgUbmE
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68CzuvQ3jh
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr8kp825br
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
and then Add to home screen.