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404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrxCOSI8rN
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絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2As40cC7k
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我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHzbunaaYl
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我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF16FNiJL77
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一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE0erMQq8g
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QZsLj4wk4
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhcXx4yoDw
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMI239jyNZ
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0T7H2hDc7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwcmwld2Q8
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYzmQddcXl
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWQihRKZaB
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgqOUVQ6Q1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YrLhDDzHH
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmfz4Q9VFB
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBmohmuBOl
「唉......」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpyoMyq7Yu
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2hy89F3jr
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SNLwSMzW5
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bcr5kaNNB
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2gfqZCG2O
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkqsfjMnR6
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaIU7SneKA
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLeX6U7jlE
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiWjytej6D
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1uhCl1sQf
「唉......」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OcACGtYrx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8vE0AqDCF
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH5xGPsfOv
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRWXy4eLhh
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yl5bxBmZP
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8UyB2IPzb
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMxONcCz32
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUctCFjEE0
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleH7Ah4z5w
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0WhdZAFJT
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5V9eg27Nx
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXujhsxm8bj
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloRVU7Diex
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCkg9jYJo4
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Xsg15dDT
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3ugteuvUE
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4bb4tR189
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziRGaz9D2z
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpfTKCsjR2
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經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82v5ZVpcUe
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半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mLDL1Qu3z
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畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxTdWWZ6Gc
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「真的沒發生什麼事。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdd6de8IU0B
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrnUbGYRYv
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4pAZRYYWE
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjaLzEH9YH
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPeyHWQWz4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWEEX8os4f
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ025xIsGb
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPiYAmA6hp
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFbHqDOinF
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxZnt6P4yx
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCHT6c5r6i
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「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHKOapbOap
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「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O9BsweXAk
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「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIZvD5yYgv
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXnPMeTPp4
「其他事情？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv90FafOwgP
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2ZN2BjHRr
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVzKmAFYpg
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEqG9m4YzT
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgkNhCSO1e
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJSDhK8dYq
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY3IzcJ3fj
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTGUjPmZwZ
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt1eJZlJeH
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz104WyVl9
「哪件事？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5sGkW88ac
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccYMjTEGWW
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfB7do6V9J
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「妳難道是指——」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRKzXbrbF3
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我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYBNjX1RYP
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUQIa0x3qK
「打.苦.鞭。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgCCFxadir
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhKakKLldY
＊＊＊404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0FRnEsGJd
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咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3xkYLJAza
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每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsCOpEDkZQ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdOwGdUnkS
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsp0AW30Pq
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每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjL5HH6unF
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySgRAH2KHS
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN23IVOlF1F
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcLB140JAb
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyW4Ro1pmP
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我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZdqq2TVco
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiGJXxg2uK
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9KaGIfqcy
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxH2QJBGUv
「哼嗯......」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAlGrDJq71
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIAw31B5pS
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmm3EAd81Ys
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyeeI0EkjN
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIar8mOe4W
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姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jj8ToznP8
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfugzuCwCcC
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrT3fV2py3
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNQSd6Db2r
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpuMExrAAX
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPC92uoxU0
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBewLm9T8X
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDy5ZENCOM
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9jSnRyX2k
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeIlYvRi5l
只要鞭打得更用力......404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rU0Xya38m
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRM2zNYyowV
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vhoWBAvDf
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuVwJM4fOA
讓身體更痛......404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bKdf6XJvI
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsXPHZy5D8
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuOyVYbZIP
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就能夠忘卻一切......404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZfRnxDgST
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41AxPfbVpI
咻——404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TrsgBdcJI
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZJb45t9iC
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ42HarrzK
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbtgZqr8OT
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4Mxfb9g18
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqcW2LWWPS
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PE9W8tZhC
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HQEbJhkWW
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLutIoWS4J
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfBzNEj7qr
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14spHxDUJQ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIghXzvckzk
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4TPCFV7uc
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHs2HTZ72A
咻——劈啪！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrQVhM2Fiw
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT83W31mQ2
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwRQHE2yUl
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6q0e1Fh2H
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」