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362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sMwPMJ7YK
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkWKJJsmt2
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6Wcnd3ezi
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLD6podjogW
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMAxNbUucC
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvXsGDAIVA
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARmkxhKmv1
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf9K5ITSgE
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39Bw1zJXOy
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1a8gY4ULG1
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJ44AiLc5Z
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaWTfQEcLD
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyesJLr268Y
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorJ4ULLPlV
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCafyHtQRsa
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlwKsJzPOY
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7LjTp8x9S
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYu7tj3ks0
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjncPb4rs9
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhiRCbXfsL
「唉......」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFZx3eQQlC
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQQntqQiMc
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteMZ4WxJZD
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAJ6E3aIRY
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECm3s10n3d
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnsNlkJ8U5
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrbidMIx9R
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fw4y8YqvE
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpEnGznaOo
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbPhth5Pyh
「唉......」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKa7EFdGpV
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r83gfRrI7
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPsUPD6T4R
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4Nhmwczzd
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A3ek18yA0
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfbXI3ax06
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTDXJathDF
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPk4AHFe9a2
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uu25jYxBL
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRgkydJiZY
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKn7aYpZGN
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNbsYUAdR3
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3Gl9jOwzx
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSR15HAveq
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAEd20TtLC
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vKSRkq82q
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWwTJDtfRP
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXGTyUbqKo
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWUTbBcuvS
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqPbX2qV0V
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyasaZygpBu
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeJlY1gvln
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXBtbcm7rQ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcGU4Jtiy7
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhes3XNVNMw
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGUaOsc5xf
「真的沒發生什麼事。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCoBFeGshh
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3XR4PNhQw
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ2Fx82Fdf
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbnSUpexh1
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIDK87HRYl
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDJ1sHllrf
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpwug1G8oQ
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KkqZSwO3R
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPJbtdnE1s
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqFxkzZbFR
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLVFm6Lt9u
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSExO9O2Vm
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrtLU8D2We
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeNbQVgeZM
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyElt7WN2DG
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv7wBiUhCB
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE22retdIA4
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64wstgKh39
「其他事情？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiv7bkWduv
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76fZ1GzLML
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K78czxRJp
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb18yhSqWGi
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb5t7yWzJA
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeRCBZsPI3
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v1czBjgwX
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoTjqrPnJS
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQwwbHHzwY
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJa2D8QYlF
「哪件事？」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdywP59P1jk
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA7B8SCNGL
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctbwyoOIGE
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEwOUJn26S
「妳難道是指——」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZUu1R8UV2
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2nAvO7MAA
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiZtEIshtz
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOxiDHDTE6
「打.苦.鞭。」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdQmb1MV8H
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeUKO3fNsm
＊＊＊362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocSlwmeIb2
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyKbRA0EJb
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7MagwAxmx
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lKdLTzxq5
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLewtqPtX8
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec9LdFcnF7
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4ox0OBI2n
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWioRPRTiK0
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjqPoRTD9h
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8T77Z6Eij
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GhJfOhwGX
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe3HaUgeYD
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp7mMPFcp4
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygvH5nxt4o
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVynWypsREV
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M8WFvvFMf
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGMmwPt3G9
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXV0hhd4uG
「哼嗯......」362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCk877vNEe
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMVXTOuZ64
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpPQknSgO6
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlIngn8X43
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhQkBDSnX2
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1tj6zxnpR
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS9ayf0knx
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyjVonns1u
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI1W3ZwRM8
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcifmnt9Tj
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrKBSipyG5
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0HtkRZhLy
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj253WM5X7J
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPkUNAHXqk
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHjQ04H3mV
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAenqv9UKs
只要鞭打得更用力......362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NaFB4Resx
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwp5F1FAZH
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJwb8Wx4dm
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaXmbQFIta
讓身體更痛......362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW59HZQN90
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nfxJgxQIi
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BTVLSut7P
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8AfkxKJ4J
就能夠忘卻一切......362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpftDFOObOq
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPpc3MoJeM
咻——362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kAlL5sTrW
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGB2MMyMPh
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPR5pPM6V1b
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqxIgsNDq6
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS6BfPcYOF
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBTGaCtLmi
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCWokuddTL
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymydX1ydUg
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiKL2TmhQC
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8Bh7Jqi24
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQl0qHccrR
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KVCpKnkrv
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1AWNXLbGq
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9nRv6Pe5o
咻——劈啪！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLn6hNnjRdN
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovq5k8w88B
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9Vk6b1tgm
362Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwWlTK50MW
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」