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383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCJI7Ep3QA
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPUEoYbEmQ
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfWic3Rf3B
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ64MrgENDJ
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjTZziVmOA
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65iygY4noN
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgKL6hGi89
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaEEHNrs0M
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf40DWv9kZ
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4GjUZXlAn
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYfHKyCQVC
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekI21UdK8D
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5KC18wp08
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE41COsDnn
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyaOQheDU2
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bl0CCDPV4
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg72yop7RW
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhrMlXOOAC
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZEmPA67Rp
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hfvLq7PbX
「唉......」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxJ94iSXT4
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILwPSs4gie
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrLJZVoI5Q
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTNxsDB4QD
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JJowXNzL1
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD38ukCPSMU
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogfjITriO5
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wdffLtzgk
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx72EOYk6Wh
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFakL51Ljb0
「唉......」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLrIbSNYPf
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQzYRbGqcw
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTXyo2AiFd
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg0BW17o3c
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJXuWVsL6I
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNJQqECK0I
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi46z8MnyOg
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT51WGFTFc
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Zgnz300h6
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3Z552bDMz
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvneaGODIm
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQdqkNPlnR
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaqhqBtLLX
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJumVEWEWFa
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpESMkbCIOu
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGk4ML3BkOk
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9mWFnvAnR
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK3CGInTFm
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVRweYMPZu
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm2zw2u3A4
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lM3f67cjb
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeMOIFE022
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwu4hHh41li
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtOf7gArAI
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcEwmikdOw
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBBc2YpV4w
「真的沒發生什麼事。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIqMgdfv30
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqYHPcrsqE
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJG1y6dKaRT
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbOE651xlj
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKckU1EfCU
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQedvuBptu
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfQXkzLSQc
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlQzfXVS9D
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaq9q07VXc
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3DJGF9xDD
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDRAO8SCUX
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3npdIz8m63
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cVP4d5IaZ
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENpycyBzO5
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR71Ib1DUzS
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKpFaLXnsf
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnotI4j7fNo
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFSzmmlP1w
「其他事情？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8hZOFR62v
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQivhdRn7Pi
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlg1tZyiKL
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAmInpRNnL
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpYrlhYN1g
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfigtmYRCQB
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrfI3NTpfB
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIbz8hpTSr
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfF3rDJF79X
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHWPcwvWZd
「哪件事？」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdm0NDAMC1N
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNKqviPbv9
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB26HtKhmv5
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbxGMNMHWY
「妳難道是指——」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9AXr18jH9
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmLbFfJTZx
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINxsGSJzFO
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFLlX1Hypg
「打.苦.鞭。」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOD1cDRy6C
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NcUz5RFoO
＊＊＊383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd4uiH4lPO
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWHGLqbacW
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsTm9XTuvx
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77idWtSwTk
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3jtTYJJEs
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeRxoAivBj
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS60t6KdnPN
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva4uC09ReP
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiXHH0l82t
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡST9UzdNDBr
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPRGFcIown
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nL0VzaYaX
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xAvpFpC68
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2YiIE9bPg
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxGrw5tqsl
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6FGCUyeJ7
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZCZz1MtFx
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DgbnlRFbR
「哼嗯......」383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8V8xinSbph
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaqFZOAFcu
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcR47KCtDR
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeELUvazox
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90W7RsicLg
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa7KlFHotI
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gLsP8RVMU
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5F88Ewd48
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDAYPsqdqG
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bg66fZ4ZN
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpMGfMMoag
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UpA9y60Kw
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDjIQhjdiT
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLDvsygKaI
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrgHXOFpc4
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvETyhua7AE
只要鞭打得更用力......383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bAQ0DB0Uk
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZXbdUTIkp
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E7YV6LEwC
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbKwFIaQzx
讓身體更痛......383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGsWGOAfBW
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBrGNTqOgP
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SOFJn2TTj
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin3zuQpRuR
就能夠忘卻一切......383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1JC8Uh6pj
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5Ebcfuq8g
咻——383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSrFa530Z7
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCMw7CNQGa
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgil6H8XuhN
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoDf548r85
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMalVwKuNGX
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkFS2fdEUa
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4moAdpzW3c
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFnqQVEG41
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7tOsryPyS
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36b17SxO49
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeJSlrkfGc
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VcZ5intsz
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLx88yy6KG
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWUWVcmSGQ
咻——劈啪！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2XNeSm3FP
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NssWFyvxA
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWTqwBosMy
383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf8PuHFpAF
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」