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403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC73UrqbwNJ
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKBDiHnlfB
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h6b1pXmBk
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ85aSZnHDt
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiLXEoY5s2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKUoHST40F
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwIsBgn1hv
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoxWayQ1Sc
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenISpREith
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZTLcTgJVN
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT6lcogJhw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6CuhxUhKe
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLfvDflVvd
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1IgYsD6ZQ
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwVbiL7zby
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJyJLJ0iig
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX00lqmB9ah
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68pwvFrXfE
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hnWiuk8Z2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkkKaAfmBx
「唉......」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOadYyh6TdH
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfF1F0i1Js
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaYJpXf2pF
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRf2FUFHpg
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX8PrT89uS
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazZ1nFsON6
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqyhDEUj4H
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI38YadFERt
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxf7slKfbv2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTMlHBcAYc
「唉......」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVO4i762zo
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD011jPUyTr
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiEBT6kbTx
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72aWyFNmpj
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh8nzaAbp3
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kSAt5XK5a
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL2CUqdhfA
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIQXagZfPJ
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZctA1NVx0l
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRFiF4Kumu
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcKg1VD3l2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUs1ub8324M
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrcOCFi1pu
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmorRGIJp3a
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmV5Wz3bZw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJIFwCXBXq
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpVSTUeCw8
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEfEZzqYIN
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYR8Q0tsNE
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVr6hLCliA
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9x5IezT9pg
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUznR9xpQQ
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGhjgwL0Rz
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOxNqkJbFP
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjCuNdfos2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8CAOMwyRl
「真的沒發生什麼事。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhob7bi5C18
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w72GMmd7p
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsuYnDnU4f
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3zJGjZk1r
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxt1LLRZFo
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLtbukKNVU
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jA4esDeGa
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4dknXXXMZ
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDoxDKMMRw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhAD5BULo7
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQkMe5F5Xd
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpFk4UlLxV
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVLuB6RpAM
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjJ78WDYQ5
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMLbPnLyu2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84SeBXe6mH
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2bkTIyglF
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmkYNHtUaC
「其他事情？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDayXXI1td
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUmUypoKXA
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5oKyK16jt
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQvOWMbbpB
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkSf1NUYsA
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffLQF1Vd7P
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmgwXmp3dG
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCx91W8zxJw
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SdCzfmP99
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDdRD2f5SK
「哪件事？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5HCZ3tdef
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdFZIKl5ex
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppF5MTn9bE
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCUKlk09Pf
「妳難道是指——」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywndXCHW50
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7hkSpr4ui
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLN3FgpsMM
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qfgHIhy2t
「打.苦.鞭。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDppmVi6wf
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzsJJsooi4
＊＊＊403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUwamM7gmN
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb76ABXf4oe
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2hnxuyWsU
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VdPw9xYUm
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt2uiWgldW
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9JziYCI43
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZzEQKvSzk
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgZWOFBX9F
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZEbSKmNpO
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHxMq2cmqL
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCw2X2hgnDA
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7GHuqHp1P
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadfaF3pOqo
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2BafLaEle
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRujfKzBPPw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ2gRQbjQj
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm73nAPWGAQ
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmH6058QJ1
「哼嗯......」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME3mOsMSE2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1dgF26KLX
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHRshPPhVi
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCnIbQU4tO
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuob9k7IW89
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe1VHLmdgO
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjHPHBduui
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMHVtc8Fj4
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA27umeaab
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB7CsHndx8
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaw4VhI1Wb
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9QsXNQvf6
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Drq2onvSr
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTm7icX6k9
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl20Xpdz04
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cRWtkz0EC
只要鞭打得更用力......403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ58W2tbG1h
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrjiq3EVvM
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOe2z6d6DT
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnrn6Up3eq
讓身體更痛......403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99yXuGGxcp
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdojww8yUJb
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYixtFgsRYi
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3HFIfowtj
就能夠忘卻一切......403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXR9dQwIlPe
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yQ3dscotY
咻——403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5FzX0XXdY
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua7zOJTH8j
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEhpDlZAo4
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd3mBBLl1K
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8K6RdgA1u
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYmatnk02Y
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJBSLtEVnK
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76IBa9WKzy
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3omtp5sWok
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh10OYqU8I
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqvB1rwtVM
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqy41109kN
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN3eQdszcK
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxwWx9KPEN
咻——劈啪！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LHqO5QrXF
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5QqIpcAmm
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5F4kq4ZcU
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnY6eNd13v
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」