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389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0bkIWwsAk
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4ZbnMGi2B
絕大多數的時候，我偏好一個人做園藝工作。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvJ2YXjKX7
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgylRJZDE78
我喜歡一個人待在花園，邊做邊寧靜地沉浸於大自然之中。當然，我做園藝的時候也會思考些事情，這段寧靜的片刻我來說是一種享受。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURTqmclijd
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDbRDFYCHE
我本身喜歡上園藝的原因，是來自姆姆告訴過我們的一個比喻，我很喜歡那個比喻：如果要成為修道之人，或者當我們要開始靈修生活時，至尊陛下最多能做的只有除去一塊荒地上的雜亂野草，播下好種子。剩下的工作得由我們自己進行。我們必須盡心盡力當個好園丁，用心澆水，照顧好這些植物，使之成長並盛開，愉悅我們的上主。這樣一來，祂便會時常來到賞心悅目的花園中，而我們也因此從中得到喜悅。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOntLTlVDI
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsJthyX7Gq
一想到這，我便更加努力照料身旁的花園和菜園，豐富四周環境的同時也豐富自己的心靈，如此還能夠接近上主，這不是一舉數得嗎？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8l6gqtA6g
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc6mcIcCm4
只不過，現在的我卻像是以翻整花園為目的，來逃避一個天大的煩惱。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEchYmMGGot
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCGN8HsIBe
「自己想要的東西......是嗎？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGw384WzRu
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOBD8WuKOQ
以前生活在修道院的時候，我好像從未這麼煩惱過。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy1rD2iSqE
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4Z9s8m11K
每位修女都視之為己任，打苦鞭、守嚴齋、祈禱、抄寫經文等等，持續地向至尊陛下祈求。就這樣每天過著心靈充實的日子。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFqH5ci1fx
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh2ffIrPRQ
如今我每日不僅得和各種各樣誘惑對抗，還有個純真的小王子詢問我究竟想要什麼。我又不希望殘忍拒絕殿下的好意，真叫人苦惱吶。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q4oS3ig4u
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzLH1WZ2Cr
「唉......」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHnaMxcIm0
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBPAprpFbs
我沉浸於雜亂的思緒中，漸漸停下手邊的翻土作業，感覺到汗水從額頭沿著臉頰滑落下來。我用手背抹去了汗水，然後輕嘆了一口氣。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dX8GNPAJ5
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPwjJsHzLx
明明只要當場拒絕獅族王子殿下的好意，並表示自己全心全意為至尊陛下奉獻就好；為什麼當時我卻沒有這麼做呢？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBYXIZKN35
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXA2n5gDGi
是由於殿下的語氣充滿真摯的純潔與無邪嗎？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mkVUv4Y4b
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY9kKN1dlt
是由於殿下對待他人的時候總是膽大心細嗎？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uVyl7UeXP
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhOGJyBBxO
「唉......」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjmcirQXpU
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9kv5NsduQ
「海倫娜，妳怎麼在唉聲嘆氣的？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cjDwjLnAJ
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK2WEWvvMx
就在此時，熟悉的桑音自我身後響起。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyaVTYPwgR
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qBsQB6ArT
「奧絲雅，妳好呀。騎士團的鍛鍊結束了嗎？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMrvDiT9hD
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNlFbuxvvq
我轉過頭的時候勉強勾起嘴角露出微笑，但不是很成功。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48L7ho0yAW
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUXsX15j8g
「妳在煩惱些什麼嗎？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw2oFUYsyv
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xGy242Z9f
奧絲雅馬上便察覺到我只是在強顏歡笑。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tbBjLMVUj
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUFmVZLtmk
「不愧是奧絲雅，一下就被看出來了。」我苦笑。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TSe2uRShl
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6UM63RIoU
「該不會那隻毛茸茸的大貓咪強迫妳做討厭的事情了？還是他趁著暖床的時候對妳毛手毛腳？我去教訓他！」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALyaXIqL94
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKC94HnKHgy
「不用擔心。殿下是一位很紳士的人，他沒有對我做出失禮的事情。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRAQaY1uTQ
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEW4pKnkfq
經奧絲雅這麼提醒，我回想起來半夜時分我們倆常常會和殿下緊貼在一起(有幾次殿下還差點因奧絲雅奇差無比的睡姿抱得太緊而窒息！)。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUBLONaHIC
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Hgl8ith1Q
半夢半醒之中，我感覺到殿下胯下的部位好像有點熱熱硬硬的凸起物…...算了，那應該是我的錯覺吧？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9Vtv8c4Xp
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacLGJLyWie
畢竟那個部位又沒有任何東西。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHiwKEfZas
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1fC2IV3Pu
「真的沒發生什麼事。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH2Odph7py
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFIVMRMpIo
所以我決定暫時撇下這個疑惑。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvRjBQRzcn
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujl0qACSO4
「只是......殿下確實給我出了個難題。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPcBmg2oSq
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGvmu0Efad
我對奧絲雅講述前幾天發生的事，其中也包括我找不到真心希望得到的事物。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEEKlPQLUp
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HgqWeMIzP
「畢竟妳總是那麼善良。」奧絲雅說：「像妳這麼忠貞的修女怎麼可能會有私慾呢？那隻小笨貓到底在問啥呀。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGw44BAnit
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO62zUg3Ma
「呵呵，奧絲雅，我可沒如此高尚。像我這樣的小女子，軟弱又沒什麼剛毅可言。天主賜予恩寵引領我，如祂現在所做的，我認為已是對我莫大的恩典。」我補充道說：「再者，殿下也是一番好意嘛。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNTa7PCI7g
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhkc9c3s1r
「可是妳再繼續煩惱下去也不是辦法，妳體內會累積壞的體液喔，到時候生病的話可得不償失。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfizVtIrYu
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4uDec4f18
「的確，假使積累太多黑膽汁(Black bile)的話，真會讓人感到抑鬱寡歡呢。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EYbFogTiP
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqad0GFlpP
「我看妳最近一直忙著整理花園，要不偶爾也去做點其他事情，如何呢？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrpkN81Va7
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnip5hgVurJ
「其他事情？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7gab6XZoI
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeJliGr6Hl
「對呀，看是要出外走走散心或大口吃肉忘掉煩惱......啊，不好意思，妳身為赤足修院的修女要守齋戒。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UkugDz0mS
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhWZD6RvAj
「散散心嗎......嗯，也許我真的不該為一個問題而過度鑽牛角尖，或許換個方法，換個角度來思考，才可以想的到解決之道呢」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqbgbOfbIK
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJQnON2MVB
「那麼要不要陪我去城外晃晃嘞？」奧絲雅很開心地問我。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoqw74OsKA
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YZUkmP0Rd
「下次吧。」我說：「我想要久違的讓自己清醒一下呢。也許是太久沒有做那件事，腦袋都有些不靈光了呢。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQFRAfMim5
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpoLL35etg
「哪件事？」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVVgfNpub7
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqPbtbTPWc
「當然是足以叫人靈魂為之振奮，讓整個人都感覺通體舒暢、徹底清醒的一帖良方囉。它對於動腦袋思考可是很有幫助的唷，奧絲雅你也一起來試試吧！」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPZ1e72jcR
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrOTjQI606
「妳難道是指——」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioz1KmnJSt
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PFH5psUII
我邊說邊雙手一拍，發出啪的清脆聲響。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YLI4H8FMK
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ37H2GHelA
「打.苦.鞭。」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgg3Ryz38n
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuXeaEMaB8
＊＊＊389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGwe9lhGHh
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1QNe2Ohto
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZorMOWD4m
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjADSvmCeo
每當我單手往後一揮，空氣便會發出一聲呼嘯作響，隨即傳來的則是清脆的聲響。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sqx8VAVDy
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvesVEdfdcL
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nZtnKd2pA
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2ZwvI9aKp
每當綁了節的粗繩鞭抽打在我的後背上，我便感受到如同火燒且入骨的痛楚。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUww8XW6FZJ
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnfmubPYxo
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMOEmCdSKs
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWxB3NZqJE
此時此刻，我正獨自跪坐在〈白城〉城堡內的小聖堂內，一邊手持苦鞭鞭打自己，一邊靜默地禱告著。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNFKkP6N6J
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPGKur3kmu
我每一次都使勁全力揮舞苦鞭，都以極大力道鞭笞我的背部，盡可能為我的肉體帶來極大的痛楚感，並在這過程中驅逐一切貪念、困惑、慾望，以及最重要的——以自身受苦受難來救贖人類在世間的苦難，並且更接近至尊陛下。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZYaiYnlf7
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycqGfMkGHk
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeE2VoV6Ub
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRnfHxAPiU
「哼嗯......」389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mI5X5nVcy
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZ8SIcBGop
糟糕，我居然在打苦鞭時發出悶哼聲，難道是內心的專注力變得渙散嗎？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0KbSH0ANs
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCWCTJRAEI
自從離開修道院後，我的人生便發生劇烈的改變。許許多多無法理解的事情一波接著一波襲來，讓我都快應付不來了——而這還是我自己造成的！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0enIJ9JNN
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PpPZap829
姆姆曾說過，為了使我們這些羔羊的靈魂靠向自由和卓越的全德，需要非常刻苦的努力。但是，卻不能在短時間內修成。所以我和姊妹們以剛毅的心祈求苦難，或者，更精確地說，我們的至尊陛下賜予我們剛毅，願意為祂受苦，因為這是我們的渴望。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjdS35m3mt
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVOfA35BPt
可是一離開修道院後，我才發現世俗世界的苦難比想像中還要多，而這些都是姆姆過去極力避免我們所接觸的。我不怪她，因為這之中不只有苦難，還有各種各樣慾念在我周遭作崇並嘗試引誘我。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYDVEIe9bT
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYmvExSbyJ
我深信這是至尊陛下給予我的一個巨大的考驗，比起待在封閉的修道院裡頭更能測試我對祂的忠誠......我難不成做了錯誤的決定嗎？389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVuow6oIIV
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKTyOzeWET
不行不行，我得專心於打苦鞭才行，沉浸於疼痛的喜悅才是。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuY0DnAzpHC
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtTQGbBYP7
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJgmdMlgDm
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe07POFxnKe
只要鞭打得更用力......389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxcdN7pQCu
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s9Yftgsy1
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGIWsq7EC5
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGEGd1Ezra
讓身體更痛......389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjY8HAmO0u
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElrwmOf6Oe
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDWV9qvsoM
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKYwk4YYC0
就能夠忘卻一切......389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhr0nkeTNNP
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlb0z3i5O3A
咻——389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge7UgwZhg7
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AhRP7pDBT
突然間，苦鞭劃破空氣的聲音，為我的腦袋內帶來靈光一閃。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBJwKHsqDo
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWt6OmnKtJ
假使換個方式思考，眼前這個難題不就和離開修道院這件一模一樣嗎？當初居住於修道院內過著封閉的生活，確實是一種精進內心靈性的方式。但那只不過是閉上眼不去觀看外界的苦難罷了。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZm9TOzE0Y
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0QTtcA5mY
如果我試圖迴避殿下的這個問題，豈不是在封閉住心靈而不去正視問題嗎？如此一來它將纏著我不放，成為我內在與外在的苦痛與擾亂。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0djOsedkCn
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZQOWcOXJw
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzRIGSm4kC
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXE9cYO2tx
再一次，苦鞭飛舞的聲響提醒我某個事物。389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7l9NaDPQd
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDnbkoaOfo
沒有錯，只要找到真心想要的事物並告訴殿下，就能夠永遠解決問題！這並非滿足私慾，而是開拓更寬廣順暢的修道之路啊！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ucsSW9qt4
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueqNwpvp8o
咻——劈啪！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYpStAIsxX
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ0Tl8FqtG
而那事物原本模糊的形象，彷彿在一次又一次的鞭笞更加清晰可見！389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoImy04ZIXT
389Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyAsLyQKcw
更多！更多！更多的苦鞭！
然後按「加至主畫面」