No Plagiarism!mCifWbA3Y0cBrJ5UTGkyposted on PENANA 1.8964 copyright protection80PENANABoZ5z3I57c 維尼
今天是17號,四月,天氣很熱。8964 copyright protection80PENANA1Xa3nj1ncZ 維尼
我瞇眼看向無法直視的太陽,伸手擦掉額頭上黏膩的汗水。8964 copyright protection80PENANAqJfER6FIOA 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAv6Pb8iepox
8964 copyright protection80PENANANj9kFQKYxJ 維尼
黑色的背包、黑色的上衣,一件深色的牛仔褲,一如既往顯瘦。8964 copyright protection80PENANAcitC3yE99r 維尼
這些都曾是我的最愛,但我忽然不想再重蹈覆轍。8964 copyright protection80PENANAnEPGe2P2uE 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANATEagFsq3Wt
8964 copyright protection80PENANAzIDSYaGGuq 維尼
於是我套上一件純白外套,走進醫院。8964 copyright protection80PENANAjBm478A4M9 維尼
簡直讓自己成為了那些有著漠然表情、白大褂的其中一員。8964 copyright protection80PENANAeAtYJXgH7S 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAA9LTlTYfMU
8964 copyright protection80PENANAxJxOUqHgNX 維尼
2.8964 copyright protection80PENANAinPa0V4dg8 維尼
今天是18號,才隔一天,沒什麼好說。8964 copyright protection80PENANAnX242xB7Fw 維尼
病房裡冷氣很強,但我仍無法確定躺床上的人究竟是熱還是冷。8964 copyright protection80PENANAHYMQdmeyPS 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAOJHl4dYG1c
8964 copyright protection80PENANAMG8ihLbkC8 維尼
他目光時而專注,時而呆滯,有時會忽然囈語些聽不懂的話,但更多時候會是清醒的。8964 copyright protection80PENANA2nuN01NZlV 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANABnd97AfRzf
8964 copyright protection80PENANABkr5p1D4m3 維尼
說真的當下的我不喜歡他清醒。8964 copyright protection80PENANAuC4nxKy2Iz 維尼
因為他會一直喊疼,會流淚後悔,會向我道歉。8964 copyright protection80PENANABYlAV8wh6v 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAc5cGP3OLhs
8964 copyright protection80PENANAT3rxe6yj3g 維尼
但我真的無能為力。8964 copyright protection80PENANAFOWOffcwr0 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAQQiPA8Hcji
8964 copyright protection80PENANAFKKzbrkPxm 維尼
3.8964 copyright protection80PENANAunnVIRVjnv 維尼
今天是19號,晴空萬里,萬里無雲。8964 copyright protection80PENANAHWq5EHgPXy 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA4jUkKYNTpm
8964 copyright protection80PENANAQcMDA9aFTq 維尼
主治醫生沒出現,其他醫生會診來講解情況。8964 copyright protection80PENANAuZsRSJKiYE 維尼
他們疑惑地多看我好幾眼,之後似乎了悟了什麼,才又將頭轉回去。8964 copyright protection80PENANAYjGFuf6kaV 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAuzl5ygU0zH
8964 copyright protection80PENANA3WQDypvMcr 維尼
我明白,那件純白外套乍看之下還真有點像白袍。8964 copyright protection80PENANA3cbJGGkP1h 維尼
但真的不是。8964 copyright protection80PENANAuiRLDt8D9t 維尼
我不是。8964 copyright protection80PENANAubJW2AuI89 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAH9g5Vdoamy
8964 copyright protection80PENANAtSQI0xHZXL 維尼
或許也還好我不是,因為我更無法忍受那些眼神──那些曾經充滿希冀的目光。8964 copyright protection80PENANAejYKcGrJ5G 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANABKtstVxl97
8964 copyright protection80PENANAmPTiL7Im0J 維尼
可是我不是,不論我是不是。8964 copyright protection80PENANAalBJM8r5Av 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAWcI7iF76ZQ
8964 copyright protection80PENANA08XF3wOmrV 維尼
很遺憾,我還是看見他眼中浮出的絕望。8964 copyright protection80PENANA0UUqCK5Swj 維尼
於是早上我失眠了,雖然最後仍醒著,陪著他度過今晚的疼痛。8964 copyright protection80PENANAWxjvBqE2f2 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAvuxhait9U8
8964 copyright protection80PENANATpIYZoN1fb 維尼
4.8964 copyright protection80PENANASgY0ltPkEq 維尼
今天是20號,我沒心情看今天天氣如何。8964 copyright protection80PENANAP3xjGQlFIZ 維尼
他下半身水腫的厲害,拼命喊疼;我埋首按摩一整天,成效不彰。8964 copyright protection80PENANA4JPcCX98tG 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAFhfHkL3Ocg
8964 copyright protection80PENANAySMD0INXZD 維尼
他人帶來一台水腫按摩機,囑咐我多歇息些。8964 copyright protection80PENANAp69ajPXcqN 維尼
我卻有些想笑。8964 copyright protection80PENANAECPt9OQVyD 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAsdYDReQA6Y
8964 copyright protection80PENANAK4OKHOldfh 維尼
說來曾花了點小錢買給他一個抬腿枕頭,他頂多用了一兩次,就擱到儲物櫃。8964 copyright protection80PENANAbU5c4nytJY 維尼
但現在他被五花大綁,充氣墊隨著壓力壓縮水腫的下肢,一天過去,我依然沒能在他木然神情讀出情緒。8964 copyright protection80PENANAQldsW0IeYY 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAxLRq9l2EGX
8964 copyright protection80PENANAPsBDpOYsWo 維尼
5.8964 copyright protection80PENANAIrZSjO93PT 維尼
今天是21號,天氣重歸晴朗。8964 copyright protection80PENANA1ZO83Qs2i2 維尼
他撐不起上半身了,所以只能偏側頭,凝視病房唯一能看見天空的窗戶。8964 copyright protection80PENANA0AOsoX46bH 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANATjDMQWUGAX
8964 copyright protection80PENANAJDOKidM1i6 維尼
我想了想,決定請專業人士明天幫他洗個頭。8964 copyright protection80PENANAicGEnwIemI 維尼
我想他會喜歡。8964 copyright protection80PENANAM4Ar6jmRhT 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAw4J0f3E8Og
8964 copyright protection80PENANARbAONgkP9H 維尼
或許能讓他最後有些尊嚴。8964 copyright protection80PENANAM3Lkqq5RFr 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANARel5uiDSuC
8964 copyright protection80PENANAcVtkOqGq5Y 維尼
其實我一直不懂,按理而言,生死一直是同一件事。8964 copyright protection80PENANAOyWsZgQMVj 維尼
可是,為什麼血淋淋從子宮出來的嬰孩,和最後消瘦枯槁的成人,會有這麼大被對待的差別?8964 copyright protection80PENANA5L4QQYjsZS 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAjFwyeJF134
8964 copyright protection80PENANAMfisTepfXO 維尼
不論生或死,明明都一樣身不由己。8964 copyright protection80PENANA9BfhOwOHOq 維尼
明明都一樣毫無所謂的尊嚴。8964 copyright protection80PENANAWfuyuawmtQ 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAhZZ3JlGvTZ
8964 copyright protection80PENANACgK1gDuBri 維尼
6.8964 copyright protection80PENANAFdumg4VDMq 維尼
今天是22號,太陽被灰色的雲層覆蓋,只有很偶爾才會洩漏出一些亮光。8964 copyright protection80PENANAiHg46AoAjl 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAojMadLb5fp
8964 copyright protection80PENANAEshCM9mH2c 維尼
上午出門採購些他需要的東西,下午回來時,他卻認不得我了。8964 copyright protection80PENANAs9TNxVHGOf 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAGxkNDkkYuQ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAh8y26rhfvD 維尼
他不斷重複著一些動作,托額沉思狀、摸嘴唇、撥弄已經剃平的頭髮……8964 copyright protection80PENANARVvkwd5aRn 維尼
很熟悉,很傷心。8964 copyright protection80PENANAuLNuQGJLPH 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJxZFqtFLb8
8964 copyright protection80PENANAAt86hDAPpK 維尼
我忽然又希望他是清醒的,跟我說說他是不是又夢回多年前,他半開玩笑捉弄我的畫面。8964 copyright protection80PENANA5itUydxFhw 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAyNMrohLIFX
8964 copyright protection80PENANANnKB0vHLjr 維尼
那時法律剛通過同性婚姻。8964 copyright protection80PENANARr0YmK6aQY 維尼
是我最快樂的一年。8964 copyright protection80PENANAPRxSK2T1UN 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAguSjA037S6
8964 copyright protection80PENANAszYxoRsaHm 維尼
7.8964 copyright protection80PENANAFIbVG51wyg 維尼
今天是23號,有個環流掃過,窗外下起雷雨。8964 copyright protection80PENANAEhMGsPxIVU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqwrtYKHRXW
8964 copyright protection80PENANAphSxAOmWNR 維尼
他閉眼沉睡,因為打了高劑量嗎啡。8964 copyright protection80PENANA5q4sLs8Oa5 維尼
是我決定,也是我簽上那張白單的。8964 copyright protection80PENANAvhP7DWbXOs 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAdlsjVxoYpf
8964 copyright protection80PENANAKrcokQagCt 維尼
詢問的醫師不知是不懂人情世故,還是見慣麻木,於是按教課書評判病人意識,並直接在他面前說出口。8964 copyright protection80PENANABixGI9Ksmt 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAtpwRN0hXw6
8964 copyright protection80PENANA3LUxN0jts7 維尼
我默默低頭簽名,他卻忽然對著我大聲哀號。8964 copyright protection80PENANASpa9dsWPpw 維尼
我與那雙已無焦距的眼神相望,似乎懂了他想表達的,於是告訴他我必須要簽這張安寧,我們才能把嗎啡劑量打高。8964 copyright protection80PENANAp3rHIs65wE 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAEhhlLgBia6
8964 copyright protection80PENANATNln0CzLtL 維尼
醫生走了,他也安靜了。8964 copyright protection80PENANAVf43Qo1HYc 維尼
我內心卻依舊喧囂。8964 copyright protection80PENANAW0JofaAlQo 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqDsyWGjJM6
8964 copyright protection80PENANA0RZ1BOBQMG 維尼
我很確信,我真的聽見了他的聲音。8964 copyright protection80PENANA7t9IXoE7EN 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAczI72hGfoZ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAqA0cVi1bIT 維尼
8.8964 copyright protection80PENANAzPfgR5cJya 維尼
今天是24號,再一天就是我的生日。8964 copyright protection80PENANAQbS5CnV9Xe 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAOrVgNjDFNH
8964 copyright protection80PENANA9Flspejlhz 維尼
我買了個小小的、他最喜歡吃的水果蛋糕,用他的手握住刀子,一切為二。8964 copyright protection80PENANAUbYapS8RM0 維尼
他一半我一半,這樣我們合起來依然是一個圓。8964 copyright protection80PENANAGGaJEv3xk6 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqVpDMkcOvP
8964 copyright protection80PENANAPEGLosup1V 維尼
想著他可能分不清楚日子,於是仍選擇今天告訴他,感謝他能陪我過這個生日。8964 copyright protection80PENANAO8DUD4TAmI 維尼
這樣他就能少折磨一天,不會為了我強撐。8964 copyright protection80PENANAd9Abt5oKJK 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAAsAJIwOzDV
8964 copyright protection80PENANAE0rZEPg3ai 維尼
我知道,對我,他絕對有求必應。8964 copyright protection80PENANArOLDEMCtQ7 維尼
但我捨不得了。8964 copyright protection80PENANABOCNFF1pvL 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANARKWPzquXae
8964 copyright protection80PENANAmZTl1tXEtb 維尼
這一次,那些過往與回憶。8964 copyright protection80PENANAi79uupvQ2R 維尼
我來承受就好。8964 copyright protection80PENANAU0i92koFEL 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAfIMz4tkdW6
8964 copyright protection80PENANA8wmNYw0uEq 維尼
9.8964 copyright protection80PENANAFD5X2u2cpx 維尼
今天是25號,他依然沒有醒來。8964 copyright protection80PENANAnRDlDNJCKU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAYppRlqqQ3l
8964 copyright protection80PENANAS2Nx2QDL0x 維尼
他家人從小就對他不好,但出了什麼事,卻都是找他幫忙。8964 copyright protection80PENANA2aQpF4exfP 維尼
我不記得我們究竟拿了多少錢出去。8964 copyright protection80PENANA9hNZbHBsZg 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAqvt2TqJve4
8964 copyright protection80PENANAgDFIZoDLA8 維尼
我抱怨連連,鼓勵他必須與這些人斷掉聯絡。8964 copyright protection80PENANAnXHSOcYuiv 維尼
但每一次他都會露出複雜的微笑,對我說沒辦法,這就是他的家人。8964 copyright protection80PENANAL2MCbOEAw1 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAlIEMX8YZoZ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAJNMO7pAQid 維尼
我知道他不會再醒來,而這些所謂的家人,卻是從頭到尾都沒出現過。8964 copyright protection80PENANAEGywP0cCge 維尼
我輕輕握上他冰涼的手,明白他真正的家人,只剩我一人。8964 copyright protection80PENANAHfvaR2bPoU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAOfGrZza0WI
8964 copyright protection80PENANAvbql8K0c7a 維尼
一直以來,都只有我一人。8964 copyright protection80PENANAZxrd22rYhz 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA5qmkpEHV5T
8964 copyright protection80PENANAHaao6Og5GU 維尼
所以我提起筆,在DNR的通知單上簽上了我的名。8964 copyright protection80PENANA1oLhICTgpO 維尼
我終於妥協。8964 copyright protection80PENANADFLkVjqvUo 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAJcQk5eyEdc
8964 copyright protection80PENANAtR2muN7gLg 維尼
10.8964 copyright protection80PENANAyzTXS2cWvE 維尼
今天是26號。8964 copyright protection80PENANAOL70mdSovU 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANABoipE8DMon
8964 copyright protection80PENANAP6rev0PZrJ 維尼
前晚半夜,他忽然清醒了短暫時間。8964 copyright protection80PENANAeciw7yBLP2 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAPeudVl0jZD
8964 copyright protection80PENANAjImjpULWGx 維尼
可能是太過虛弱,他沒能講話,但我知道他是醒著的,因為他的眼神聚焦在床邊的我身上。8964 copyright protection80PENANArj3qoVng84 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAHZUwu3dOLQ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAIbobUPaZKw 維尼
我正在幫他按摩腫脹的肚皮,轉頭就發現他的目光,剎那間若有所感,於是我對他露出這陣子以來最燦爛的笑容。8964 copyright protection80PENANAWw9bHmjhI5 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA2Yp7zCJ0S6
8964 copyright protection80PENANAGPNreVFYCW 維尼
他垂著眸,癱在床上的右手比了個手印。8964 copyright protection80PENANAjPNcL3SX6L 維尼
我認出那是家中佛堂佛像的手勢,扯著嘴角,我再度對他笑了笑。8964 copyright protection80PENANAkXXSuzFKKa 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAhTPOTYo5Wo
8964 copyright protection80PENANACVKBeVyKNs 維尼
我想,篤信佛教的他,或許準備好了。8964 copyright protection80PENANA4g0TRTD7sX 維尼
但我永遠不會準備好。8964 copyright protection80PENANAf12O0PkTbe 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANANoifWIgA9I
8964 copyright protection80PENANAcId5fIfUph 維尼
*8964 copyright protection80PENANA5ApOki4l9p 維尼
今天清晨下了點雨,空氣變的很清新,連在室內都感受的到。8964 copyright protection80PENANAY2iOLjx51U 維尼
他的血壓從早上就開始不穩,呼吸也變得悠長。8964 copyright protection80PENANA8gdJYkQvbB 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAFI5iW4xRDf
8964 copyright protection80PENANAz0ogjh1rJF 維尼
護理師告訴我,他準備好要回家,要我先把救護車那些布置好。8964 copyright protection80PENANAct1SJsGGqk 維尼
可能是因為太累,我瞬間癱坐在地,眨眼間已經坐回椅子上,旁邊圍繞著許多人。8964 copyright protection80PENANANCeOMNVShv 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAshlw8nxGPJ
8964 copyright protection80PENANANPHMxn2NW9 維尼
我不知道他們在說什麼。8964 copyright protection80PENANAxB3oHKV9wh 維尼
但我知道,他要回家了。8964 copyright protection80PENANAQZHovF8j4Q 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA83auvu1Oge
8964 copyright protection80PENANAdDQJ69YBU9 維尼
他想回家。8964 copyright protection80PENANApezoFVcChv 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAMZ6TvS3xtX
8964 copyright protection80PENANASG6wKsgkFj 維尼
我深吸一口氣,將別人告訴我該連絡的、該準備的,都準備好。8964 copyright protection80PENANAF1cEpwbOJC 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAtffJWeyCe9
8964 copyright protection80PENANAXdNFO67Qic 維尼
下午五點多,生理監視儀的血壓驟降,我趕緊通知救護車,告訴他們可以過來了。8964 copyright protection80PENANAczrg40K4bw 維尼
我明白他為何選擇這時間──因為這是以往回診住院時,都是這個時間出院的。8964 copyright protection80PENANAlsSi4tuYnJ 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAoWjWKV7B5o
8964 copyright protection80PENANAnjs61xiaEh 維尼
這也是我第一次坐上回家的救護車。8964 copyright protection80PENANA4oyf7eZqp2 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANA21Qa7nGctq
8964 copyright protection80PENANAqZb2nbmRDQ 維尼
靈堂都布置好,他要躺上最後一段旅程的床也用好了,大家很快將他放到上面。8964 copyright protection80PENANAAMF4nAsyKP 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAj91HszandM
8964 copyright protection80PENANAKFOuQ1QdS6 維尼
我靜靜看著他呼吸愈來愈長。8964 copyright protection80PENANAZpWsfG0NGi 維尼
最後,他緩緩吐出、我看過最長的一口氣,就像是要把這輩子都吐乾淨。8964 copyright protection80PENANAXwQUQrFgSK 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAHTaNLMHlXZ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAvh9NBsYR43 維尼
他再沒呼吸。8964 copyright protection80PENANAF8BZ877WXo 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAn7cepNF16W
8964 copyright protection80PENANAIhBOFy4Ckq 維尼
我跪在他身側,雙手合十,祈求起我從未捻香供養的漫天佛菩薩。8964 copyright protection80PENANA88sLBImJ22 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAGZUzcxPFjZ
8964 copyright protection80PENANAK2XjVt8muG 維尼
若我如他一般用心修行,或許還能在西方極樂重新相逢吧。8964 copyright protection80PENANAaTsL2FoRdW 維尼
我如是想。8964 copyright protection80PENANAeKdjYKCJxP 維尼
84Please respect copyright.PENANAl5Qs1dZlcg
8964 copyright protection80PENANAThrkylcqmW 維尼
於是,對著他宛在音容,我緩緩地、虔誠無比又順從地,放下了曾經貪嗔又愚痴的自我。8964 copyright protection80PENANAcOugCPrp8W 維尼
三跪九叩。8964 copyright protection80PENANAy9LKDFpubB 維尼
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