Prologue
“Hey buddy, I know you're kinda occupied getting all cozy with that pole and rope, but I can see that look of confusion on your face. Who are we, right? What the hell are we doing here, ruthlessly slaughtering your friends and loved ones? Lemme shed some light on the situation for ya. Hold up, let me get my knife from that guy’s chest real quick. *Grunt*. Goddamnit, my horoscope was right. I would connect with someone's heart, today of all days. Okay, so it's like this:
“It was a fine and dandy morning. Birds chirping, bees buzzing, a regular ol’ fairy tail morning. Until that clown over there woke me up. Yeah, the guy with the flashy pants. What an asshole. Making me kill all those cute birds like that. Should've just let me sleep in. Don't worry though, his pants also paid the price. Hehehehe.
“Now, you must be thinking what big of an idiot I am to tell you all this in the middle of a- LOOK OUT YOU ASSHAT, DO YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS FRIED OR SOMETHING?- in the middle of a spectacular battle? Well, you’re the idiot! Don't ever think that to me again! I’ll let you off this time, cause you are new to this stuff. Also, you're pretty cute for a goon tied to a pole *wink*. But this is your final warning.
“Now, where was I? Ah yes, the battle. It's a spectacular one, all right. All of our battles are spectacular. Take the asshat in fuchsia pink pants as an example. He might be ugly and flashy, but did you see how he gutted the other dude twice his size? Now that is something you don’t see often. I see you’re having some trouble holding your lunch. Well, buckle up sweetheart. He’s the weakest of us all, and when the day’s over, you will have seen enough shit to last a lifetime and some more.
“You see, we are the Vigilantes. We didn't exactly name ourselves that, but we couldn't bother giving ourselves a name so we just took what the newspapers said. You've heard of us? Oh good, this makes it much easier. You know how the papers are always praising our “heroic deeds” and on the internet we're known as “Protectors of Justice”? Well, it's all crap. Every. Last. Word. Forget what you heard! We're the baddest mofos in this town! We see something we want, we take it! Just so happens that the “big bad guys” are always blocking our way with piles of meat - such as yourself. HEY! THAT NEARLY HIT MY LITTLE FRIEND HERE! APOLOGISE! That's right...
“Are you scared now? Well, you’d better be. Wanna run? Don’t even think of trying to escape me. I may have taken a liking to you but that don’t mean that I won’t make you regret trying to leave me.578Please respect copyright.PENANAcr9rqTTE8x
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“Oh, crap… Literally. Well, I sure as hell ain't changin’ ya, so I'm outta here. Might've overdone it a little with the intimidation...
“Hey, you there! Yeah, you gawking at the screen with that stupid-looking face of yours! What the hell you starin’ at? Don’t you have something better to do with all that time you have on your hands? No?
“You know what? I'll let you live. But I better see some kick-ass fan fictions about me, y’hear? I know where you sleep… You can pair me up with that hot dude in the suit over there. You see him? Good. He’s smokin’, isn’t he? Not that you would know anything about it, four-eyes. Don’t you be getting any ideas now, or you’re outta here before I can stab this Smelly Gabe; and trust me I can do it fast. See that? That speed, that finesse. Damn, I’m good.
“Aw, the fight’s over already? What a waste. I didn't even get to use my new move, I was jibber jabbering so much. You still here? Get lost. Oh, but don't forget to read the next chapter in a few days. Or weeks. Whatever. Be there or be a pear!”
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