My heart was a telescope, searching for something far away and unknown. I didn’t understand a lot of things, but I was learning. Like how the bigger picture can be just as messy as the smaller portion. Like how I needed to start looking for what I wanted. And what did I want? I wanted a lot of things. I wanted happy, loving eyes, I wanted a contagious smile, I wanted comforting arms, and a thoughtful mind. I looked for those things in all the wrong places. It’s a Goldilocks story, not a Cinderella fantasy. Fantasies don’t really exist anyways.
So Dear Future, out of all the things I wanted, the most important is that we be best friends. That kind of relationship is something I know I would be able to put real endeavoring faith into. I can be fast at a lot of things, but only if I have to be. For the most part I like a nice casual pace. I want to enjoy the journey when I can. Perhaps I’m a hopeless romantic, or maybe an overloaded dreamer, I could even be both; but most importantly I am one person. If everyone was the same person with the same name, just different lives and looks, then maybe I could understand. But we aren’t. I am one person. I am not who she is, I am not who you are. I am one person and one person only. I want to hear those three special words. I want to be complimented every now and then. I want to feel special. I want to feel special for being me, not for being her. I want my own special. Is that selfish? I don’t know and I guess I don’t really care, but I do know that I deserve that just as much as the next person. Please respect me. Please listen to me. Please think of me. Treat me right. Take care of me but don’t cage me in. Love my smile, my laugh, my voice. Love me wholly. Love me complete. I can promise I’ll be doing the same. Talk to me, don’t send messengers. Apologize, don’t cut corners. Take my hand, don’t leave me behind. I’m walking next to you, not behind. Love and life isn’t a song. We aren’t the movies. We aren’t a picture. We’re messy and weird, and beautiful. Please love us. Carry the burdens with me. Fight for me like I’ll fight for you. Ask me questions, tap my nose, hug me sweetly, make me laugh, give me simply-rosy cheeks. I never thought I’d be picked. Show me that I’m just as deserving as any of them. What’s my favorite ice cream, color, flower, scent? What are we? I’m a hope. I’m a wish. I’m made up of ideas and a hundred billion lightning fast thoughts. I don’t always make sense. I don’t always live in the present. Please don’t avoid me, but please tell me what’s wrong. I deserve this happiness don’t I? We deserve it? Travel with me. After a long day, take my hand and twirl me. Dance with me in the middle of the sidewalk. Hold my hand while we eat drippy ice cream. If I cry, dry my tears. You’re walking next to me, not behind me. Write your name next to mine. Listen to songs with me. Show me the beauty in a cloudy day. Open doors for me. Tell me your favorite things to do. Show me who you are. I’ll cherish you with every smile, with every breath. Write me little notes. Be sincere with the things you do. Please, please show me I can live a life with your smile to greet my eyes. Support me in my accomplishments, give me the pure and simple joys. I will love you to the fullest, I promise.
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